Opinion: Twilight Sparkle Should Totally, Definitely, Obviously Be in Smash

If a humanoid dog who is actually a mayoral assistant to a small town, two reptile boys who are honestly just too big, and a literal plant can make it, our favorite equine librarian/demi-goddess should be up there kicking Wolf in his big dumb face STOP ZONING ME YOU WALKING CARPET


Now you might be wondering, what is this game and why is it important for Twilight Sparkle to be a smash brother? Does Sethisto have anything better to post? And why is my browser telling me that Masahiro Sakurai wants to know my location?

None of these questions will be answered.

She’s a Princess

GAME!

Up there with Daisy, Peach, Zelda, Diddy Kong, Rosalina, and Mr. Game and Watch, Twi’s got the title it takes to sip tea with the big girls, even if her pedigree got lost in the mail. But even if her blood isn’t blue, you sure will be after she blasts you offscreen at fourteen percent with her princeSS-tier final smash from across the stage.

Friendship is Tragic

It’s one thing to get dash-danced by a Ness main that’s been PK-Thundering you for two stocks like you’re a lighting rod before force-quitting the game and playing Splatoon 2. It’s another to get completely disrespected by a nasty spike from a cartoon pony, only to watch her teleport back to the stage to taunt and crack open a book so she has something to do while waiting for you to respawn. The bad manners would be completely unreal and nothing could possibly make me more excited.

Smash Ultimate Has Only One Quadruped and It’s Duck Hunt

Like, c’mon, man.

She’s Read Friendship and Peace, The Encyclopedia of Obscure 70’s References, and 12,751 Shades of Gray

Essentially, her literary level is exceptionally advanced and as such has a great deal of experience with hard reads. You can’t fight someone who’s in your head.

Smash Doesn’t Have Enough Waifus

Sorry, I don’t really know why I wrote this reason. I mean, it’s true, but it’s not really related to Twilight being added. But hey, maybe she’ll be added anyways.

Recolors

Seeing as MLP is animated entirely in MSPaint, it makes sense that you could just swap out the color pallette and play an entirely different pony! That way, you just put in one character and have over 100 characters to roleplay as! The possibilities are only limited by your sick imagination.

Just To Rub Salt Into The Wounds of Fighting Is Magic

We never did get that MLP fighting game, not for lack of trying. It’s as if thousands of angry lawyers suddenly cried out, and just as suddenly fell silent. Of course, you could always just go play the spin-off game, despite its lack of pony. Have fun with your llama, nerds.

What Is This, A Segment Of Television Where Two Programs Combine Characters In A Single Setting?

Imagine an episode surrounding a confused Mane 7 discovering themselves in the game, or even just a promo. Watching confusion lead to delight lead to absolute rage, and the incoherent screaming following Pinkie insisting on keeping items on and playing nothing but tournament-illegal stages and pulling off consistent wins despite using only a single move. The possibilities, art, and fanfictions alone would be worth the effort. I would gladly read a fanfiction about Twilight slowly losing her mind as Glim Glam wins by doing nothing but spamming Isabelle’s side special.


With prospective players in Smash Ultimate’s DLC ranging from DoomGuy to Bryan Cranston, it wouldn’t be completely out there to throw a My Little Pony into the fray. After all, who wouldn’t want to hear a confident voice bellowing “Twilight Sparkle wins!” into the faces of your friends who are probably not going to be your friends anymore?