Greetings and welcome my humble and gigantic audience! Tis I, The Great and Powerful Trixie back yet again, and
A successful and amazingly well paid pony such as myself is obviously the perfect choice for anything involving money. Trixie is the go-to mare for all your bit and coin based things. And now that everypony has started combining the two into a single word, Trixie is, dare I say, an expert in the bit...coin world as well. Trixie has collected many bit...coins! She can't wait to collect the pone version.
Now go! Be enlightened by Trixie!
The Genius and Enlightened Trixie has a huge list of incredible benefits to discuss when it comes to pony coin. Blocklinks are so exciting for the future! And it only took me ten minutes to master it. A mare of Trixie's incredible level of intelligence doesn't struggle nearly as much with difficult concepts as a pony like say... Twilight Sparkle. Indeed, while Twilight is off spending hours reading books, Trixie has already fully learned it simply by looking at the titles. Now that is efficiency! Trixie should create her own bit coin...
I digress though.Trixie has agreed to review pony coin, and she has always been a mare of her word! Especially now that she has such an amazing friend in Starlight. She really has made Trixie a better pony. It's such a shame how much angry fan mail my bestie gets from you monkey things. Everypony makes mistakes. How is that a bad thing? Trixie has learned countless lessons from the one or two she has made over her life. It's what makes Trixie such an incredible entertainer even today!
Star has shown me all sorts of incredible spells (that I, of course, quickly mastered) and is always there for everypony. Remember when Twilight grew wings and you all sent angry letters saying how the world was ruined and everything was awful? Trixie thinks you should embrace mini-Twilight as your replacement!
Of course, the relationship goes both ways. Trixie isn't unaware of how much she teaches Starlight right back~ I've heard rumblings that I really am the greatest and most wonderful addition to her friendship dynamic after all. Trixie agrees of course considering Maud Pie barely talks, the rest of those elemental ponies tend to ignore her, and Thorax is off doing weird Changeling things. Who's always there for her? The Best and most Perfect friend, that's who!
And Trixie saves almost ALL of her friendship for Star too! Very few can handle my magnanimous charisma. It can't be helped that most ponies are simply too star-struck to connect with Trixie. Too nervous to form a bond with one such as I. Outside of the one-off magic swap with Sunburst, Starry gets the full brunt of it whenever she wishes~
...Right, coins. Forgive Trixie. Sometimes a wonderful friend such as I can't help but talk all about how special my acquaintances are. I really have become a benevolent and altruistic pony over the years... Which is why I jumped at the opportunity to share the wonders of pony coin! Did you hear that somepony made a million bits last year by buying other coins? How crazy is that!
If Trixie had a million bits, she'd change Equestria for the better! World hunger? HAH! Not with Trixie on the job! Oppressive magic school loans? Never again! Magic should be for everypony. Wagon insurance raising every year? Pffft! Trixie would buy the insurance company and drop it for all! The races of Equestria wouldn't even know what hit them once I started throwing my philanthropy around! Trixie was made for being wealthy and successful!
But alas, Trixie does not have a million bits even though she would be by far the best one for the job. She is only incredibly successful, not quite millionaire successful. With how busy my schedule is keeping all of Equestria entertained, there just isn't enough time to start down a path that would lead to such fortune.
Trixie has wonderful news though! The greatest future philanthropist in all of Equestria has officially opened up her very own internet money wallet! Now YOU can contribute to the "Help The Great and Powerful Trixie Help the World" fund by simply sending me your bit coins! Starlight helped me set it up. She's so good at this technology stuff~
Here you go! Just take a picture of it with your pocket computer. I think that's how it works. Trixie saw ponies doing that last time she was entertaining at a convention. It's very easy! These bits really are the future. Trixie can't wait to be rich! What will I buy first? Trixie could still use that new broach. Maybe a bigger wagon? Trixie would love a bigger wagon for when Starlight stays over~
Anyway, it looks like Trixie is out of time for reviewing pony coin. Hopefully Trixie's incredible wave of knowledge didn't overwhelm all of you. I know how complicated this stuff can be. Trixie is an expert now after all.
~The Great and Powerful Trixie
