Howdy folks! TheSlorg here with another installment of our series on pony tears. We've gone through the previous four seasons and counted all the weeps, wails, sniffles, and close calls, and have discovered, perhaps not surprisingly, that ponies do indeed cry. A lot.
In season four we had Rarity overtake Twilight Sparkle as the series' teariest pony. With season seven fast approaching, it's time to dive right back in where we left off and have a look at all the times characters have cried in season five. Can Twilight make a comeback? How often did newcomer Starlight Glimmer cry? Check below for the answers to these questions and more!
Before We Begin
As usual, I will paste the following explanation from the previous posts in this series:
So why bother with researching such a thing as pony tears? As we are all aware, the characters we know and love are a complicated lot, with a much larger emotional spectrum than what you might typically find in a show targeting the demographic that it does. Tearful moments are but one small part of that spectrum, but they do tell us a lot about one's personality!
Additionally, watching an entire season of a series in search of something as specific as tears can be a daunting task. You have to ask yourself what, exactly, counts as crying, for instance. For the purposes of this article, I have skipped over a lot of close calls, or instances where a character came close to crying, but didn't quite make it. I didn't skip them all, however, and will make a note of them as they appear. The rest of the moments I have listed will either have visible tears, or will have the character's eyes visibly shimmering. This time around, I've also looked at why the characters cry, and will include an additional instance for each new reason they cry, even if the tears haven't technically stopped.
Finally, as much time as I put into trying to keep the list as accurate as possible, there is always the chance that I missed a moment or two. There will also likely be some who would contend what, exactly, counts as crying. If you find anything I missed, or wish to challenge a moment that is listed here, feel free to comment below. And now for what we've all been waiting for, let the tears begin!
Season Five
The Cutie Map: part two - Rarity cries after seeing the drapes in their prison cell. Party Favor tears up when Starlight is revealed to have her original cutie mark.
Castle Sweet Castle - Spike tears up at the sight of the Golden Oaks library. Twilight cries after the Golden Oaks roots chandelier is revealed.
Appleoosa's Most Wanted - Braeburn’s eyes moisten when he mentions his injured foreleg, though it’s insinuated that he’s exaggerating the pain. Applejack sheds a single tear from laughter while watching Troubleshoes perform as a rodeo clown.
Make New Friends But Keep Discord - Applejack is on a roll as she tears up at the sight of Apple Bloom in a gala dress.
Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep? - Spike’s eyes get misty when he learns than Luna dreamed of everypony but him. Princess Luna cries as she realizes they cannot contain the Tantabus. She cries again while describing what the Tantabus is.
Canterlot Boutique - Rarity cries after her alterations to the Princess Dress are rejected
Scare Master - Rarity tears up when Fluttershy scares her and her friends.
What About Discord? - Twilight sheds some tears as she has a breakdown over her friends’ time spent with Discord.
So Who Cried the Most?
This season brought the feels with pretty much everypony crying at some point. Even Applejack turns on the waterworks, and newcomers like Starlight Glimmer and Moon Dancer each have a turn or three. Let's look at some numbers.
Of the twenty-six episodes in season five, only five were tear-free. This brings the total to be eighty-nine out of one hundred and seventeen episodes to contain tears! That's 76% of all episodes. So there were plenty of tears, but how did everypony rank? Let's have a look.
Here's a list of who cried in season five in order from least to most.
- Apple Bloom - 1
- Big Macintosh - 1
- Braeburn - 1
- Fluffy Clouds - 1
- Gilda - 1
- Granny Smith - 1
- Hacksaw McColt - 1
- Lyra Heartstrings- 1
- Party Favor - 1
- Raspberry Beret - 1
- Yak Guard 1 - 1
- Yak Guard 2 - 1
- Countess Coloratura - 2
- Fluttershy - 2
- Matilda - 2
- Prince Rutherford - 2
- Princess Luna - 2
- Shining Armor - 2
- Spike - 2
- Steven Magnet - 2
- Moon Dancer - 3
- Twilight Sparkle - 4
- Diamond Tiara - 4
As usual, it looks like members of the Mane Six will top our list. However, there are four of them missing from the list above! That's because not only did two of them tie for third, they also tied with a newcomer to the team:
- Rainbow Dash - 5
- Rarity - 5
- Starlight Glimmer - 5
- Applejack - 7
- Pinkie Pie - 10
And there it is. After hovering around the top five positions for the past few seasons, Pinkie Pie finally takes a well-deserved spot in first place. Unlike most of the other characters, Pinkie didn't really have any one episode that boosted her tear count. She was just emotional all season long, and while previous seasons have had her cry for laughs, many of this season's tears were more heartfelt.
And would you look at who took second place this season? Applejack! She has gone from winning season three, to shedding no tears at all in season four, to nearly taking the crown this season! Not surprisingly, she shared a few emotional scenes with Pinkie Pie this time around.
Not to be outdone, what a showing we have from the newbie Starlight Glimmer. She shed more tears for more reasons over the span of a few minutes than most other characters can claim over the entirety of the series! Rainbow Dash and Rarity share third place with her this year.
In all, season five featured 70 instances of crying. A new record, toppling season two's 66. That puts season four in third place with 47 times tears were shown. Rounding it all out are season three's 41 instances, and season one's 31 instances. That bumps the grand total up to 255 moments of crying within 117 episodes.
Totals
Pinkie Pie may have claimed this season's crown, but what about the grand totals? Is Rarity still safely on top, or will somepony else claim that spot? Let's see.
Here's the list again, from least to most:
- Angel Bunny - 1
- Berry Punch - 1
- Braeburn - 1
- Breezette - 1
- Bulk Biceps - 1
- Cream Puff - 1
- Brown Dragon - 1
- Cranky Doodle - 1
- Daisy - 1
- Fluffy Clouds - 1
- Hacksaw McColt - 1
- Harry Bear - 1
- Lemon Hearts - 1
- Lightning Dust - 1
- Mane-iac - 1
- Meadow Flower - 1
- Noi - 1
- Party Favor - 1
- Pinkie Pie Clone - 1
- Queen Chrysalis - 1
- Raspberry Beret - 1
- Red Dragon - 1
- Seabreeze - 1
- Seabreeze's Wife - 1
- Sea Swirl - 1
- Shoeshine - 1
- Snails - 1
- Teddie Safari - 1
- Trixie - 1
- Vera - 1
- Windfall - 1
- Yak Guard 1 - 1
- Yak Guard 2 - 1
- Countess Coloratura - 2
- Discord - 2
- Gilda - 2
- Granny Smith - 2
- Matilda - 2
- Piña Colada - 2
- Pound Cake - 2
- Prince Rutherford - 2
- Princess Celestia - 2
- Pumpkin Cake - 2
- Twilight Velvet - 2
- Apple Bloom - 3
- Big Macintosh - 3
- Lyra Heartstrings - 3
- Moon Dancer - 3
- Princess Cadance - 3
- Princess Luna - 3
- Snips - 3
- Shining Armor - 3
- Steven Magnet - 3
- Diamond Tiara - 4
- Starlight Glimmer - 5
- Sweetie Belle - 5
- Scootaloo - 6
- Spike - 14
- Applejack - 16
- Rainbow Dash - 16
- Twilight Sparkle - 25
- Fluttershy - 26
- Pinkie Pie - 28
She just won't be beat! Retaining the title of the teariest pony in all of Equestria is:
- Rarity - 31
So Rarity pulls it off once again, but Pinkie Pie is gaining on her fast! If Pinkie cried often in season six, she has a real chance of pulling off a last-minute victory here. She even cried enough to bump Fluttershy back down to third place.
Interestingly enough, both of Ashleigh Ball's characters are tied for least-teary of the Mane Six. And in her debut season, Starlight Glimmer cried enough to surpass 54 other characters who have cried to come in at an impressive 10th place overall! But let's not let that overshadow a pony who has been here since season one, but only started crying now: Diamond Tiara. She sits in 11th place thanks to her redemption in Crusaders of the Lost Mark. Scootaloo remains the teariest Cutie Mark Crusader, and Lyra Heartstrings now stands alone as the background pony who cries the most. How long will that last, though? Princesses Luna and Cadance are now ties as the teariest princesses (not counting Twilight) thanks to Princess Celestia's complete lack of tears this season.
And that's a wrap for season five! Can Rarity hold on to the top spot? Will season six reveal to us that Applejack actually isn't the mane pony who cries the least? Who do you think will be in the top spots for each category? And did you cry at all in season five. I still cry sometimes when I watch Crusader of the Lost Mark, and I've seen it 138 times (yes, I counted... and that includes reactions)!
Let me know in the comments below!
