It just keeps happening. Why won't they stop? It looks like once again, Hasbro has tossed another wing on poor Twilight Sparkle, this one jutting right out of her chest. We dealt with the horn wings, and even the double torso wings, but now they are just going too far. An official statement was released earlier today:
April 1, 2045
Hasbro Adds Even More Power to Main Character SuperArchPrincess Twilight Sparkle Via Additional Rainbow Power Wing
PAWTUCKET, R.I.--(INVESTOR SUMMIT)-- Hasbro, Inc. (NASDAQ: HAS)
As many of our stock holders are aware, Twilight Sparkle has been a massive boon for Hasbro Inc over the years, and after several months of intense market research, we noticed a 15% spike in sales on our most recent brushable line when last year's rump wing™ was added. Introducing the new and improved Chest Wing™, which the 3-12 demographic is sure to love unconditionally. Expect further improvements as we continue to grow our MY LITTLE PONY™ brand long into the future.
With how successful our last anti-wing campaign was, I'm thinking we will just have to deal with it at this point. At least Flash Sentry and their foals will have something extra to make fun of.
