[Romance]
Author: Hawkysu
Description: A revised, revamped, remastered, remade, re-imagined, rewritten story about two fillies and love.Scootabelle (Redux)
Scootabelle (Polish Version)
Additional Tags: Happy Valentine's Day And Scheiße
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
147 comments:
:o is that like illegal child pron?
ReplyDeleteChicken vs the Dictionary, WHO. WILL. WIN!?
ReplyDeleteI think this may be crossing the line... Cutie Mark Crusaders should be left alone when coming to Shipping. Unless if they are trying to ship to older ponies together.
ReplyDeletethe chicken of course, it came first.
ReplyDeleteI wont judge before reading, but scootaloo and sweetie belle shipping seems... odd.
ReplyDeleteOk... I have seen everything
ReplyDeleteQuite odd, is sweetie belle kissing the chicken or telling her a secret.....
ReplyDeleteScheisse? My German sense is tingling.
ReplyDeleteI'm with HALOGUNNYSGT
ReplyDeleteIt seems there should be a line drawn amount the CMC shipping.
Course i don't read ship so I wouldn't know
"Puppy love" has been done in non-offensive ways many times. We have pre-readers for a reason, I would certainly hope nothing distasteful made it to the front page.
ReplyDeleteGood grief, are you people serious? Why can't the CMC be shipped like in this story? All they do is admit they have a crush on each other and kiss each other on the cheek.
ReplyDeleteSo you people will ship Ponies with ANY race or anyTHING (Anything = Rocks and Doors.) but you draw the line at CMC.
ReplyDeleteBronies, you fucking disappoint me.
@Marven Martian
ReplyDeleteI'd prefer none of it but it's my voice against many
I don't even. Having read that out of curiosity, I have to say it was a relatively innocent story of puppy love. I would venture that it maybe deserved a Comedy tag as well, as there were a few chuckle-worthy moments in there.
ReplyDelete@BossManJohn
ReplyDeleteIt's a kiss on the cheek and puppy love.
OK WTF. I read a Scootabelle story this morning. Only that one took place in the future when they're not children, so I'm assuming this will be more cutesy.
ReplyDeleteRomance tag?
ReplyDeletenot shipping?
also, all you nannies complaining about puppy love.
come back to me after you've read CMC clop.
The CMC are fillies, not foals, which means they're roughly teenagers. Teenagers fall into little romantic puddles, also known as "puppy love". Responses to this should be "D'awww" not "D'omigod kiddy pron!".
ReplyDeleteIf you think otherwise, then you may want to call the police on those funny video shows, where they show little kids kissing other little kids and find it cute.
Society needs to step back from this hair trigger. Sweet Celestia!
@wackypony
ReplyDeleteSee that's where a line NEEDS to be drawn
Romance/Puppy love just isn't my favorite genre
itt
ReplyDelete>Like show for little girls
>"10 YEAR OLD LESBIAN PONIES ARE UNNACCEPTABLE!"
@invizibilit3 No, xD
ReplyDelete@Travis Smith
ReplyDeleteI'm not bothered by the concept at all.
I'm currently trying to suppress the urge of writing a fic where Twilight ties the CMC to a radiator and rapes them for decades and decades.
Oh God.Shipping little kids...just...no.
ReplyDeletePedobear much-.-
@invizibilit3
ReplyDeletePron? How does a crustacean figure into this?
@wackypony
ReplyDeleteCan I please recommend my mothers friend, he is a psychologist.(helped me figure out why Dash shipping bothers me so bad)
Keep repressing that urge
Sorry but a thousand times NO to filly shipping.
ReplyDelete@Kits
ReplyDeletewell, and Sweetie Belle tries out some pickup lines, which...doesn't go very well.
but strangely that just makes the whole thing even more adorable.
Oh, come on guys, this is a perfectly cute story [unless you're a bible thumper. stop acting like bible thumpers and read the story before rating.
ReplyDeletea little under 3k words? i think i'll read this.
ReplyDeleteCMC Shipping? On EqD? I'm not sure if my mind can resolve this contradiction, but I must say I like it and will see what the story is like it.
ReplyDeleteis like.*
ReplyDeleteNot sure what happened while typing.
This here fic is pedotastic!
ReplyDeleteBut really it's a sweet story CMC being kids ignored.
ReplyDeleteI only read a little,and i feel sick now.and why does most of this retarded shipping have to be so lesbo?Im not saying gays are bad,its just that i can take so much.And shipping all together is garbage.
ReplyDeleteMeh. The CMC's friendship is too perfect as is for me to want to see the dynamic changed, no matter how sweet it may be.
ReplyDeleteNow if you were to ship them with ponies from outside their group I would be OK with that.
When I was in middle school, I was attracted to my peers of the same sex. These fillies are about at that age. That's why cute little stories are harmless. If it was hard core erotica, hell, I'd be right there with you guys, but it's not. It's a cute little "D'aww" story, nothing more. Relax.
ReplyDelete@wackypony
ReplyDeleteOBSCURE REFERENCE DETECTED, DEPLOYING LINK:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fqq051BU2MY
why's it called romance instead of shipping?
ReplyDeleteShipping sounds better.
Also can you all stop automatically equating shipping with sex?
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of embarrassing how ignorant that is.
@DPV111
ReplyDeleteExactly. Shipping is anything from woo woo feelings to a peck on the cheek. Plus, the tag 'romance' was used, which indicates it's likely a puppy love type thing.
Look folks, it's only "dirty" if you assume the worst. Read the fic, it's cute, it's enough to make you go "D'aww". Nothing sinister or evil about it.
@DPV111
ReplyDeleteThat's like asking people to read a story before they downrate it. :V
@D-pad Dash
ReplyDeleteThe paranoia over pedophilia is like some pitiful tragedy on a societal scale.
We see puppy love between characters that are supposed to be young teens, and the first thing so many of us think is "child molesters!"
Just sad.
@3p1c_d3m0n
ReplyDeleteBecause "shipping" just means creating a relationship that does not exist in canon. It's very generalized.
"Romance" is much more specific.
You can have shipping without romance and romance without shipping So I approve of teh new tag.
if clop ever got on EQD, even i'd be offended.
ReplyDeletei got to fimfiction for clop. i go to here for non-clop fics.
^ Not to worry, though. This is not clop. Not even close.
ReplyDelete@Present Perfect
ReplyDeleteActually, people down rate shipping because they hate shipping. To them it wouldn't matter if the fic is good or not.
They are jerks but they are not operating under any inaccurate assumptions.
In this case, people assuming that shipping/romance has an inherent sexual component is a false one.
@wackypony
ReplyDeleteThere are several clopfics on EqD. Do you want me to list them?
Well I must say that the story was pretty good, tho it did too much telling vs. showing at some points, and seemed to go a little fast (but hey, my slow as molasses approach doesn't exactly get a lot of girls).
ReplyDeleteThe whole presumed lesbianism among the mane 6, yet presumed heterosexuality in the books was just odd. I think that could use some work to establish just what Equestria is like towards that.
Definitely among the cutest shipping stories I've read. Sweetie Belle's naïvete on the matter of love is behind most of that.
@DPV111
ReplyDeleteEven as an Anit-shipper
I still refuse to down ore it because of that, I useally just ignore the subject, maybe a comment but I don't rate them.
Well, I gave the fic a chance, though I generally do not read shipping.
ReplyDeleteProblems:
1. The entire story seemed rushed just to get to the point of the kiss...then it ended.
2. What's a 'sowing' machine? Does it plant seeds or is it supposed to be a 'sewing' machine?
3. Dialogue seemed off and stilted.
4. Was all of Equestria just depicted as lesbian? Mare/Mare shipping is fine but that was a little weird.
In it's defence:
1. It wasn't pedo at all, though the pick-up lines Sweetie used were way over her head (hopefully).
2. The author was willing to take a gamble.
3. Not even close to being a clop fic.
Overall: A sub-par story IMO. It seemed rushed and hastily (if at all) edited. Take your time and get it right next time.
@Travis Smith
ReplyDeleteThat's because while you are an opinionated individual with your own personal interests and tastes, you also are apparently a mature rational person who does not use the anonymity of the internet as an excuse to indulge in rampant jackassery.
Others are not so fortunate.
@DPV111
ReplyDeleteThe closest thing to clop i've ever seen on here is Through The Storm, a follow up to In The Rain, and the follow up didn't even get featured.
i'm talking actual bare bones, detailed clop.
@DPV111
ReplyDeleteThank you for the compliment
It's true really, most are to stick on the bandwagon
@wackypony
ReplyDeleteI'm going before you "rexplain" One of those stories...
I think it's weird, but it's not exactly bad.
ReplyDeleteI thought the added French plantation scenes were gorgeous and gave the story some historical context.
ReplyDeleteYou see what you do Arnold Schwarzenegger! You give the people ideas!
ReplyDeleteI think what we should take from this being posted is that watching a leaked episode is wrong mkay but thinking of baby ponies making out is alright.
ReplyDelete@Derpestia
ReplyDeleteYou haven't even read the story. Plus, they're not baby ponies, those are foals. The CMC are fillies, and the story is completely innocent.
Of course, you probably know this already.
Yeah i loved the story very daww.
ReplyDeleteI just love to troll.
@wackypony
ReplyDeleteWell, you asked for it:
Fallout Equestria: A Mare Worth Fighting For is the only really explicit one the others are actual clopfics that were posted with an edited, less explicit version. Remember that a clopfic does not by definition need to be pornographically detailed, just depict the act of sex in a sensual fashion.
The Luxury Lotus Spa Follies/The Mistress of Midnight Castle
Twilight and Rarity's Magic Book
The Night Fluttershy Exploded
Twilight's Special Spell
Whatever Happened the Morning After?
Scented Venom
I'm sure there's more but I'm getting bored...
@Derpestia
ReplyDeleteAh. Well, then, carry on. <_< >_>
Seriously, though, I thought it was cute. It reminded me of one of my first real crushes when I was in the 6th grade.
@The Lotus Tea Dragon
ReplyDeleteWas it an orange pegasus or a white unicorn you had a crush on? :P
Chose both to double the fun.
ReplyDelete@DPV111
ReplyDeleteI consider clopfics to be pornographic.
otherwise i consider it saucefic.
It was a risky move by the author to post it on so unforgiving a site. A courageous move, at any rate. That's not to say I'll read the story (I don't read any fanfiction), but this just caught my eye. I wonder if the author had anticipated these types of results.
ReplyDelete@DPV111
ReplyDeleteYou misunderstand.
If they hate shipping, they should not read shipping. That's the rational response. Seeing the tag and downvoting just makes people angry. People like me.
@Present Perfect According to rule #19 of the internet, that only makes more people unfairly downvote. I'd not read too deep into it if I were you.
ReplyDelete@Present Perfect
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. but I never said they were "rational" I just said they were not "misinformed".
@wackypony
ReplyDeleteWell there's softcore pornography and there's hardcore pornography. The only difference is the camera angle.
I don't see the problem here, it's not "pedo", that sounds too exaggerated, it's not NSFW, just an innoncent fanfic, so chillax.
ReplyDelete@The Lotus Tea Dragon
ReplyDeleteBullshit on them being teenagers. Uh-uh. 10 y/o should be the ceiling for their age. Everything about their school experience screams "Elementary". The cutie mark was never supposed to be an exact, explicit allegory for puberty. So my Headcanon sez they're 8 y/o. That's 3rd Grade, the age where SEX is still a mercifully distant threat and you still have *most* of your childhood innocence left...but you're old enough to comprehend cynicism and how to really hurt people.
Eight year olds fall in Puppy Love. Teenagers fall into TRUE LOVE™, and there's plenty of murdered teenage hypotenuses to prove it...
@DPV111
Yeah, since when is every shipfic reviled on EQD as clopfic slime? Travel back to EQD's Paleozoic Era and you'll see that millions of years ago, shipfics RULED THE EARTH.
@wackypony
*COUGHAMAREWORTHFIGHTINGFORCOUGH*
Seth posts clop, just not when you're looking. ;)
@DPV111
ReplyDeletehttp://mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw2247_medium.jpg
@DPV111
ReplyDelete>Well there's softcore pornography and there's hardcore pornography. The only difference is the camera angle.
Actually, um, the difference is penetration.
You know that Cinemax stuff is fake, right? ^_^
@DPV111
ReplyDeleteactually to me. it's more of how i view pics.
if it has genitals and such, i consider it 34.
if it's just sexual without genitals, i consider it sauce.
i differentiate because i don't look at 34. I only read 34.
@Mindblower
ReplyDeleteNot look too deep? It's assholes being assholes. Like someone down there said, shipfics used to be treated fairly like everything else (that didn't involve OCs). Now, they're being targeted for no reason whatsoever. Is it too much to ask people to behave?
I can't believe y'all are still discussing this
ReplyDeleteSAVE THE SHIPFICS
ReplyDeleteThe picture made me D'AWWWWW. But when I read the description I just thought, "Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo ship, wait, what now?"
ReplyDelete@Travis Smith
ReplyDeleteSo people who don't sit at their computers refreshing ED every five minutes throughout the whole day to the exclusion of nothing else don't have the right to discuss something posted a mere two hours earlier?
@Melodis
ReplyDeleteNo not that, this is the second longest ship discussion I've seen on EqD
@mycutiemarkisagun
ReplyDeleteYeah there's the fake stuff, but there are plenty of XXX movies that have 2 versions (much like the clopfics on EqD).
@Travis Smith
ReplyDeleteEqD really needs it's own damn forum.
@Present Perfect You can certainly ask, but it's a lost cause.
ReplyDelete@DPV111
ReplyDeletegod no. i'd never leave. D=
That was a cute little story. It felt awkwardly worded at points though. The whole thing with books assuming heterosexuality and ponies assuming homosexuality seemed like a small discrepancy.
ReplyDeleteWe clearly need more intra-CMC shipping, since it is too adorable and those who disagree are just silly fillies.
Also, bonus points for implied TwiDash.
@DPV111 Said: "Was it an orange pegasus or a white unicorn you had a crush on? :P "
ReplyDeleteHe was kind of orange (he had a tan), and he had blonde hair and liked Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. :D
I thought he was so cute. I sat 3 rows behind him. I had such a crush on him. Of course, at the time, I didn't tell anyone about it, since I was a boy too. But still, you never forget your first crushes.
I haven't read the story but I've read all the comments. As an author myself, I am appalled at the amount of shipping hatred in this thread, even if it's directed at this CMC fic. I'd ship Sweetie Belle/Scootaloo if I had a good enough idea for them, but all my ideas are more Rainbow Dash/Scootaloo oriented.
ReplyDeleteJust because they're both fillies doesn't mean they can't be shipped. Though, it should be a more innocent type of love. Kids that age have no concept what real love is.
@D-pad Dash This story isn't shipping. Shipping is when two (or more) characters have a significant physical or emotional relationship.
ReplyDeleteWhereas romance is defined as: "A strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something."
Hence why this story is not about "retarded lesbo shipping" but instead about the identity confusion most little kids undergo as part of their psychosocial development. It's not pedophilic because there are no adults involved. It's innocent.
Shipping as a genre is about character interpretations and interactions. You don't have to like it, just know that a majority (this story included) are normal, and enjoyed by many.
@DPV111 Hear, hear.
ReplyDeleteAlthough some good Brony forums do exist, they don't have the sheer numbers EQD does.
@DPV111
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/nrcT4-jN2cA
"Now, I don't wanna seem shallow...but I don't think the plot and dialogue alone are enough to carry these films, y'all."
@all comments
ReplyDeleteTL;DR
I'm going to do a book.
*pat*
Aw...
@Aeleos
ReplyDeleteWhile you have the right idea, I think you're playing too much of a semantics game with the labels.
Personally, I've never seen much of a difference between 'Romance' and 'Shipping' (though I'm starting to get a hang of the difference). This primarily stems from the fact that labels, being broad things in general, are inherently flawed. All the places I've ever posted FanFiction, 'Romance' is the only genre label available to describe any sort of affection within the story. Even if it's technically wrong, what am I, as an author, going to do? I can't leave the label off because it's a story about love and romantic development. But then people jump all over authors for labeling it 'Romance' when they don't think it's really a 'Romance' story in their eyes. Why can't people just accept the fact that labels are just indicators as to the content and stop being so anal about the specific uses of the tags?
And on a side note, I think your idea of what Romance constitutes is flawed to begin with. True love, romance, lasts a lifetime. Romance is just the active showing of affection, love, or interest.
I think in the end it's just important to remember that the biggest mistake on the part of both the haters and the lovers is to actually take shipping seriously.
ReplyDeleteCause it's not.
It's all just for fun.
Right?
@DPV111 "Remember that a clopfic does not by definition need to be pornographically detailed, just depict the act of sex in a sensual fashion."
ReplyDeleteUnless I am grievously mistaken, no formal authority has defined "clopfic." It's a word made by the community, for the community. The fact that there is this point of dissidence in the community means there is no "right" definition.
I would have to agree with wackypony and say that in my opinion clopfics are stories to which people clop: i.e. sexually explicit ("explicit" happens to be the term used in the Urban Dictionary definition. Not that it's a reliable source, just the only one.)
Yes, I suppose some people do clop to sex described using sensual alt-terms. But in general those are scenes in the middle of a story about something else.
I guess I'd define clopfic as anything written specifically to be sexually arousing.
It was pretty cute I think, I just didn't like the word "seducing" being used in this non-clop.
ReplyDelete@Aeleos
ReplyDeleteWell if we want to get into definitions:
"Clopfic" is just the MLP version of "Fapfic" which is just slang for "Erotic writings".
Erotic is defined as: "Relating to or tending to arouse sexual desire or excitement."
I have read enough erotic writing in my life to state with conviction that the genre is far from limited to explicit descriptions of anatomy and acts.
The amount of variation is what is described and how it is described is staggering.
The level of explicitness in a fic does not define it as a clopfic, the content does.
On Equestria After Dark for instance, the fics have a "Clop Rating" of 1-5 for level of explicit detail.
Do I dare click the link?
ReplyDelete@Thecrazyrabbidfangirl
ReplyDeleteI apologize: I'm idealizing the world. Labels are not perfect; I agree. I would say there should be the following non-mutually exclusive terms: Shipping, Friendshipping, Romance, Love, Platonic Love, Sex, and Sexually Explicit. I adore characterization.
I realize the world's not perfect, but EQD's differentiation between Shipping and Romance is intentional, and I appreciate that. They have great labels (Sad vs. Bittersweet, separating Grim and Dark, etc.) And my definition of romance is from a dictionary.
I am really not anal about tags. I have never, EVER been even slightly annoyed at tags on a story. Sometimes I wish there were more, but for the most part I don't care.
I was simply pointing out the difference here because of someone else's somewhat misguided comment. And I don't see this story as shipping. The fillies have no true feelings for each other, their relationship is tenuous at best, and after their "kiss" they don't know what to do. I wouldn't really care if Shipping was a label, but I'm glad whoever posted this was smart enough to know the difference here.
You know, I enjoyed the story, it was funny and cute. I don't like grim-dark storys, but I read Rainbow Factory today, didn't like it, but I commented on how I found the writing style and grammer, and 'detail' to be great. I don't shit on your storys, don't shit on mine. That simple.
ReplyDelete@invizibilit3
ReplyDelete*Boot to the Head*, with steel-forged spikes, and Extra-Onions!
Short and sweet. Pardon the puns!
ReplyDeleteI found it interesting that in this story it's implied that stallion/mare relationships are in the minority. Though I suppose that would make sense if the gender ratio is anything like what we've seen in the show. Just not enough colts to go around.
Overall I give it 3 stars. It was nice, and not poorly written by any means, but not too memorable either.
@Nova25
ReplyDeleteYou forgot the ghost chilies.
@DPV111
ReplyDeleteThe Babouchka requires Onions... a lot in this case.
@DPV111
ReplyDeleteI have read a few types of clop, and I agree...
Now I'm in full-on hair-splicing mode (but this is all in good fun :D).
"Relating to or tending to arouse sexual desire or excitement."
*Parse:
"Relating to sexual desire or excitement."
Allegrezza, and many other stories like it, allude to ponies having sex, E.g. "Slip under the covers giggling in each other's embrace" or something like that. No one would ever call Allegrezza a clopfic.
"tending to arouse sexual desire or excitement."
This means that a story's clop is in the eye of the beholder. Aha! I like this definition.
Clopfic: "A MLP fanfic tending to arouse sexual desire or excitement in its readers."
Within this definition are key assumptions: that a majority must find it sexual, and that the story as a whole (not a sentence within a chapter) must fit the definition.
This puts rape stories in the gray, as some people find them arousing and some don't.
I like with this definition, what say you?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@jessewq
ReplyDeleteAgreement on all fronts!
@Aeleos
ReplyDeleteIts so subjective and impossible to nail down, eventually you always wind up back at that old Supreme Court definition of obscenity...
"I know it when I see it"
@mycutiemarkisagun
ReplyDeleteHa I was going to mention that, but forgot to put it in my comment!
I totally agree: I think something is clop if people call it clop.
@invizibilit3
ReplyDeleteI'm going to assume that's a joke comment, but if it's not, you're pretty damn stupid.
I just read this and it's not good writing at all, but it's not offensive at all. Any pony bitching about their age or that this is shipping I think are just reading too much into the weak and spotty description and letting their own perverted minds fill in the gaps.
I thought this was a cute story. It could use some work but it was nice. I would give between a 3.5 and a 4. Also I don't think anyone should dis a story unless they bother to read it.
ReplyDeleteAren't shipping and romance pretty much the same thing? Anyway, why the complaints, people? It's a story about cute, innocent puppy love with exactly 1 kiss on the cheek at the end; I'd hardly call that a deal breaker.
ReplyDeleteOkay, wow. I type a lot. This is gonna be broken into multiple parts. I'll include a link to the whole thing at the end.
ReplyDelete[1/2]
First of all, wow. I never expected something I wrote to spawn such an intense discussion. Yes this is intense. Shut up, it counts.
I don't really know what to tackle first, so I'm just gonna make comments in a randomish order.
1) On the tag. I intentionally put Romance because I felt shipping was kinda disturbing when applied to foals. In my mind shipping denotes some loss of innocence. Yes, there can be innocent shipping (there's plenty of it), but I do prefer Romance as a tag for that.
2) On Pedophilia. I'm kinda hurt guys. I mean, is that really the first thing you assume? Then again, I can understand. This is basically a shipfic. And it is about foals, which equates to kids. However, it is very innocent. At least, it's supposed to be. If it doesn't appear to be, I'm sorry. In any case, I feel like I should make some sort of "official" statement:
I do not approve of pedophilia. I believe it to be a disgusting act. If I have somehow supported anything of that nature, I apologize.
3) Clopfics and R34. While they can be well written/drawn, I don't really support them for the most part. However, I can appreciate the fact that they can be well done. Buttersc0tch Sundae is a prime example. Her fics can be extremely cloppy (if you read the right versions ;)), but she writes so well, it's okay. Same thing for art. Also, I know some people really like them, and they should have the right to enjoy 'em. That said, my feeling on foalcon (that's the word, right?) remains the same. Ew, no.
4) The rating. I'm not bothered. People are going to downrate and uprate for all sorts of reasons. In a perfect world, everybody would just put what they felt after they read it, and people who didn't read it, wouldn't vote. Then again, in a perfect world, I would be a god. So meh.
Anyways, this seems like a fair rating. This wasn't my best work. Not my worst, either. I didn't originally plan to send it in, but once a story hits a certain length, I can't resist. If it had been posted by someone else, I prolly woulda given it a 4. Maybe a 3, but I tend to be generous.
4.a) Of course that brings up a question: If you don't even think it's that fantabulous, why post it? Well, like I said, when a fic hits a certain length, I can't resist posting it. But it goes beyond that. I like sharing my work, good and bad. When I sent it in, I thought it might need a little fixing (and it did), but I also thought it would be posted. I'm not trying to sound vain. I've been on EqD for a while now, and I've a good idea on what's acceptable and what's not. Basically, I just wanted to see what people thought.
[2/2]
ReplyDelete5) I had another point. But then I lost it.
6) "Will there be another part?" I don't think anyone's asked that on here, but there's so many comments, I tend to get them jumbled together. On my DA, I know that there have been plenty (for me) of questions/requests for a part two. However, I'm sad to say that there will be no direct sequel. At least, not one written by myself. There may, and this is a very heavy may, be a spiritual successor down the road. This story is a continuation of one I wrote last April, hence all the 're' words, and basically serves as the original and the sequel in itself (the first one was very short, and ended with Scoots running out on Sweetie).
Again, I'm extremely sorry if I offended anyone. I never meant to appear to support pedophilia in any way. But... Actually:
7) Give the prereaders a little credit. They do excellent work. They would never allow for explicit clop, pedophilia, or anything of the sort. The reason you can find some mature work on EqD is because those were around before the prereaders were. Remember, EqD was a baby site until about 8 months ago. Sethy tried to prevent clop and the such from reaching the public eye, but he was just one man and couldn't make it. Yes, some of the modern fics may have clop/extreme gore and such as well. But we're only human. They're. The prereaders. Ahem, what I'm trying to say is this:
Every new fic must be reviewed. The prereaders will never (intentionally) allow something mature to be posted. It's a tough, and often thankless job. I know it doesn't sound like much, just reading fics, but that's not true. They will sit there and leaf through every single sentence, making sure it's post-worthy. This is why it's a good idea to edit before hand (even though sometimes errors slip through (like sowing instead of sewing)). It saves them work, and makes them more likely to give you the g'ahead.
Anyways, I'm kinda getting sidetracked from point 7. That is: give the prereaders credit. They're cautious, hard-working folk. Also, be sure to give them a big thanks. They don't hear it enough.
Alright, now I believe I hit everything I wanted to comment on. This is a lot longer than I intended, but that's what happens when you're bit by the verbosity bug.
Again, I wanted to say sorry if this appeared to be pedophillic (totally a real word) in nature. That was not the intent. It was meant to be innocent, fifth grade romance. And if you were just trolling, which I have strong reason to believe, then dass coo'. You got me.
Anyways, carry on. The discussion y'all are having is fascinating, so don't let what I've said interfere with what you plan to say.
Also, let me know if I missed anything that you feel needs my attention. I understand my opinion is important, and that you can't live without it (I kid).
With Love,
Hawkysu
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EtZQoGFe5QJD3wSVCYtAcY5yCBCPzRw1OWf5YUsFvuY/edit
It's just an innocent, non-sexual love story, guys. Far worse things have been posted on EQD.
ReplyDeleteWell, Hawkysu, for what it's worth, I enjoyed the story, "D'aww"ed several times, and had to make sure I had enough insulin to finish the story. Good job, IMO. :)
ReplyDeleteAll "shipping" tags should from now-on be changed to "romance" tags.
ReplyDeleteAlso, be grateful that this isn't some kind of Scootaloo-Rainbow Dash pairing.
@invizibilit3
ReplyDeleteSuccessful troll is successful
@Hawkysu
ReplyDeleteSo you addressed every point you wanted to address...
That's funny, because you ignored the one point I came here to comment on, and a point that was brought up by a few people here. Heck... maybe it was that 5th thought that you forgot about?
I'm just going to quote another messages here, cause they said it perfectly...
"Was all of Equestria just depicted as lesbian?"
This recurring theme destroyed any semblance of immersion or respect that I could have for this story. It's once thing to be open to all forms of relationships... but for this to be the norm... Wow...
This one detail takes my rating from a 4 to a 2. Instead of a rather cute story about some puppy love... it became a thinly veiled rant against straights by someone, who I'm just going to assume isn't, given the weirdly twisted sense of normalcy in the story.
You took the story from adorable to creepily anti-straight propaganda. It avoids a 1 star, only because it WAS cute.
I'm sorry, but it's a mindset that just disturbs me. I'm sorry. Openness is fine, and that would have made the story 4 star for me. I have no grudge against people who want to do their own thing. The problem though, is the assumed "Eww straight" concept completely and utterly destroyed it for me. Everypony assumes gay, and straight is an afterthought, like, I guess that would be OK too, but it isn't the normal way here. That's the impression I got. It only painted an image of the author in my head as one of these raving fanatical gay rights supporters that want to place the blame for all bad things in society on "breeders".
I can't get behind the stories that do that... Gay is NOT the norm, it's the exception to the rule. It's the outlier that exists, but is never the status quo.
It just twists all semblance of believability and wrings it out of any fictional setting when I see people try to swap gay into the place of the status quo.
That's simply called a dying world.
omg so much want!!!
ReplyDelete@Hawkysu
ReplyDelete>On Pedophilia. >I mean, is that really the first thing you assume?
-Don't worry, only deep morons and people feeding of ''problems they create'' think that.
Some people just don't get the true meaning (or have a twisted definition) of 'Romance'...
@richfiles
ReplyDelete>"Was all of Equestria just depicted as lesbian?"
-Does ANYONE really care about this point ?
No, really... Anyone *REALLY* care about that ?
@richfiles
ReplyDeleteso you can only read a My Little Pony fanfic if it features all the same prejudices and hang-ups as the world you live in--and evidently, the same prejudices and hang-ups that you share?
the funny thing is that that point doesn't need to be addressed because it didn't take place inside the story, it took place inside your head. and no one is obligated to address your homophobia in their story.
wait a minute.
ReplyDeleteis this story assuming that all ponies are lesbians by default?
._. just because you say it in a diffrent language doesnt mean you didnt say it ...
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Nova25 If they are all lesbian, they aren't going to last very long as a socitey.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Bloodpool
ReplyDeleteThis is "technically" no such thing. If you can honestly post what you have, then you haven't read it. Read the story before making ignorant assumptions.
Someponies go crazy when two fillies have a crush. Celestia forbid we talk about THAT.
@Bloodpool
ReplyDeleteThe majority of their world is imbued with magic... and anyone with the tiniest bit of imagination can easily picture 'magic' allowing mare-mare relations, in a way or another.
Plus, considering Genetics (and recent discoveries around this point), there's little that would prevent this possibility, especially in the Magic/Science/Fantasy setting that is MLP:FiM.
And, in any case... seeing things as *MANDATORY* : 'Absolute 100%' or 'Absolute 0%' would be a rather dumb approach of the thing, really.
So... while within *The Country of Equestria* the predominance of relations *COULD* be toward same-sex... this DOESN'T mean that it would be an 'Absolute 100%'... If we think reasonably (and calmly) for more than 5sec (before jumping to crazy 100%/0% excuses), we could even say that it might just be a 50/50 ratio or something close to that. Making it as common as male-female.
-----
@Bloodpool
Oh by the gods !...... Really ?
How dumb people are ?
As any-freaking-one has ever ''loved'' (or whatever definition of the word we usually have at this age) one of their classmate, when they were young ?
Or thought that said friend would (was to) be their ''destined love for life''... for it to be quickly forgotten next week/year ?
Anyone as ever saw series or animes were 2 main characters would say they ''loved each other'', as best-friend-ever or something more (often in flashbacks), for later they be conveniently together (often married, or close to be) ?
...people see 2 ''young'' people/ponies manifesting some form of ROMANCE and emotion, and they quick go in 'dumb-troll' mode yelling/crying at ''porn'' ?
Do these people are really serious and do not own a dictionary, and never saw other series and animes involving romance and stuff ?
-----
Well, whatever now. I have a light ROMANCE **story** to read.
@The Lotus Tea Dragon I appologise; I appear to have made a poor choice of words in my previous comment, and I stand corrected.
ReplyDelete@Nova25 Again, I appear to have made a poor choice of words, and I appologise for this. I shall remove the offending comments, and speak no more.
ReplyDelete'Nuff said.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I apologise to everyone commenting on this story for my inadvertent trolling.
ReplyDeletePoor choice of words? I refuse to believe anyone could accidentally say what you said and really mean something else. Inadvertent my flank.
ReplyDelete@Bloodpool
ReplyDeleteThat's okay. I'm just more concerned about correcting a serious misconception, particularly toward other bronies who like the story.
>The summer of '69 was long ago, and she hadn't ever really felt the same way since.
ReplyDelete-Is that a reference to Woodstock ? ;)
>the little filly checked out a book entitled How to Woo a Mare in Ten Easy Steps.
-Hopefully, it’s not the same book Blueblood had written in that one story. (obscure reference, maybe)
>Their training session went as usual.
-RD personally trains Scootaloo ? Well, lucky for Scootaloo. :)
>She spent the entire week being bored and sitting in the library.
-You mean she didn’t ‘’scoot’’, when she was bored ? ;) : http://ham993.deviantart.com/art/Sweetie-scootin-273657188
>and one about a vampire with a soul.
-Huh... Which book this reference ? Remembers me of at least 2 vampires in that old series : ‘’Buffy’’.
>"I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?"
-Yeeeeah... poor Sweetie Belle... I think she read the ‘’bad guide’’ of dating, by Blueblood.
>"Sweetie. I just... I need to go." Scootaloo darted past the unicorn and out of the classroom.
-Ahh, the classic short moment of terror and doubt (and confusion) the (loved)character always seems to suffer upon hearing the confession.
>Good thing you didn't come sooner," Rainbow chuckled.
-Mmh...? With Twilight ? ...or maybe Pinky Pie, I wonder.
>"I like-like you. I have a crush on you. I - you're kissing my cheek."
-GAAAAAAAAAAAASP!! ...wait... haha, really ? That’s all ? ...was all the fuss about just ‘THIS’ ? Oh wow... Some people above must be feeling very dumb right now.
-----
Well, in any case, it was a relatively ‘ok’ story, though the end was a bit short/seemed a bit fast.
It's funny how such huge flame wars happen on EqD over even the slightest brush with the line between acceptable and not.
ReplyDeleteOver at ponibooru, it's a daily sight to see furry pedo porn of the CMC. And that's not even the trolling images.
Ponibooru does hav one big adavantage: filters. People who never want to see that stuff never see it. There are still flame wars about it, but the defenders of the image can easily tell them to set their filters and stfu.
They're both underage so it's legal.
ReplyDelete@richfiles
ReplyDeleteAH! Thank you! That was the one I forgot (point 5).
I honestly didn't expect such a negative reaction to that. But it's completely understandable. The only reason I wrote that was for a quick little giggle. But yes, I guess I should talk about this:
Secret point 5) On Lesbian being the norm. First and foremost, I am straight. So this wasn't a rant against straight people and how they're all suckwads or something. Lesbian being the norm was just a silly joke. I did it because almost everything I've written has straight being the norm, and I remember making jokes (a good while back) about how all shipping was lesbian shipping, and they all had some form of: "How will my friends react to me being Lesbian?" Basically, we (we being the people we refers to :P) thought it would be funny if it was reversed. Apparently not :/
Anyways, I'm sorry if that turned you off. I guess I didn't really think about it.
5.a) I do support gay rights. I'm not a fanatic about it (don't think). I'm just one of those "love is love, regardless of gender(s)" people.
Basically, you give me too much credit. I couldn't write a social commentary, well done or not. I don't have the patience.
Hopefully that clears up any confusion, and dispels some of the negativity about myself. If not, welp, then I'm sorry. Think what you will.
@Melodia If you can't accept an apology, deal with it. I don't often appologise for anything, so it's a rare occasion when I do. So now it looks like you're trying to instigate a flame war that's not necessary.
ReplyDelete@Nova25
ReplyDeleteUmm... Since that was a QUOTE, from a previous poster... I guess the answer is actually YES!!! People CARE!!! I find it amazing how blind the anti-straight crowd can be! I love how i get labeled a homophobe for not IMMEDIATELY AND TOTALLY accepting a world that assumes F/F and M/M ships is the standard norm. That makes no sense! People with your attitude make me want to go down to the local meat shop and ask if they have any HOOVES lying about, so I can get one and ACTUALLY FACE-HOOF... Cause a palm just ain't enough anymore! (For the love of God, that was a joke, do NOT take it seriously and call me a cow murderer or some crap... In this fandom... I've come to expect those kinda screwballs to pop up from time to time.)
@ShadowCell
Wait... I say I initially gave the story a 4, but had to downrate it to 2 because the inverted world view on what was considered the defacto default pairing was backwards, and broke all suspension of disbelief in my head...
And I'm prejudiced? I say I initially gave the cute filly/filly shipping story a 4... and I'm homophobic? No... You are just prejudiced against straight people, and have a tantrum any time you hear anyone claim that straight is not a standard of biology, and that gay is simply the outlier of the bell curve. Yes, it exists. I GET IT. I don't have to consider this bizzaro world to be normal though. It just destroyed any sense of believability in the story.
With the authors response now in hand, I now get that it was a joke, playing on the "all ships are lesbian theme"... but still... I prefer landing my ships in the port of my preference.
Sweetie and Scoots is an adorable pair. I just love how I can say that and you STILL call me a homophobe for speaking my mind on the base assumption of normalcy of the perceived sexual status quo.
Talk about a closed minded... Dang... I don't even know what the word is for someone intolerant of straight people... But they exist! What is that word? YOU SHOULD KNOW!!!
As for it taking place in my head... You are blinded by your prejudice against straights. I was NOT the first to bring it up. It DID need to be addressed, as multiple people took notice, and it DID break suspension of disbelief. That alone is pertinent to the story and how people perceive it. The trouble is, accepting a world that assumes F/F and M/M ships are the assumed standard makes no sense, and that view is not a prejudice or hang-up I have... It just makes no sense.
And for calling me a homophobe... Buck you, you flank-head.
@Hawkysu
Thank you for responding. I now get that it was a joke on your part. I can accept the joke, but sadly, these types of stories break all suspension of disbelief for me.
Knowing it was a joke, means that clearly you're not one of those anti-straight fanatics... That makes me happy. If two dudes or two chicks wanna do their thing (or any other quantity or mix or whatever), fine, go home, go to a motel, some secluded camp. I DON'T CARE... But for the love of God! don't come bragging to me about how great you are together. I DON'T wanna freaking hear about it. I have my beliefs. I believe in free will, and I believe the homogenous ship is not a normal ship... but it's their option.
I have no grudge or ill will against you as a writer, but yeah... If you think something is overdone in fanfics... Consider that maybe the joke doesn't need perpetuation. That was my only issue with the story. Knowing it's a joke, I can certainly understand the why behind it now, but it sadly, does not change the lack of immersion I felt reading while the story.
It's ok... You don't have to write social commentary. Just write a fic with a sexual twist and the comments section will write it out for you! LOL!!!
@richfiles
ReplyDelete>I guess the answer is actually YES!!! People CARE!!!
-YES!!! you ARE!!! right. 1 or 2 on about 170+ comments do SEEM!!! to use a LOT!!! of !!! and yell a lot and caaaare negatively that this story feature same-sex romance.
Now, about just a tad more seriously (and 20% less capital letters, and !!! to look important)...
The person who actually said >Was all of Equestria just depicted as lesbian?< ...was only wondering about the question within this story. And, really, in the WHOLE story there only 2 (RD and Twilight are just implied) ponies with same-sex interests... that's hardly a claim for half or more of Equestria. (other stories aren't cumulative)
In fact... before -You- came and bashed on this story, with a vengeance, and all sorts of odd claims (some of which you are the only one thinking, like your very serious claim of anti-straight propaganda)... Everyone was calm and happy.
And, personally, I only wish that it returns to this state.
>I find it amazing how blind the anti-straight crowd can be
-*You*, more than any other people on this page, seem strangely agitated over all this ?
As if this was some sort of fight that you had to win, by convincing everyone that there's literally ''groups'' of people dedicated to propagate same-sex stories/relations and crush the hetero's ones ?
Seriously, calm yourself a bit.
>I love how i get labeled a homophobe for not IMMEDIATELY AND TOTALLY accepting a world that assumes F/F and M/M ships is the standard norm.
-Dear dark gods of the Internet... Do you believe this is some sort of conspiracy or something ?
You really give yourself far too much credit.
Somehow, for some unknown reasons, you seem to feel deeply ''threatened'' because some people like and/or don't mind having stories with same-sex stories/relations ?
Also, you aren't being ''labeled'' by ALL but just by one person (who should have used more correct words), and also... honestly...
>You took the story from adorable to creepily anti-straight propaganda.<
>The problem though, is the assumed "Eww straight" concept completely and utterly destroyed it for me.<
>but it isn't the normal way here.<
>It only painted an image of the author in my head as one of these raving fanatical gay rights supporters that want to place the blame for all bad things in society on "breeders".<
>Gay is NOT the norm, it's the exception to the rule.<
...you chose THE WORST selection of words EVER!
Breath by you nose... Stop... and restart with a less ''extreme'' tone of voice and choice of words.
---
Back to the comments on this page.
In case you haven't read them, which I wouldn't be surprised, you would have seen that all the *complaints* and/or *crazy or impolite people* turn around : 2 ''Oh no! pedo-stuff!'', 1 ''retarded because lesbian shipping'', and your first comment.
On the other end, those talking normally, politely and stuff... Which is about every other comments... with the occasional : ''Why people downvote?'', ''Pedo-what ? have they even read the story ?'', and ''those who downvote at the beginning are often haters that haven't read story''... and other discussions about definitions of some words...
There's : -NO- huge proclamations of same-sex superiority over F/M, -NO- important fights against F/M stories, not even a single claim that same-sex is better than F/M !
...You went completely paranoid, and probably said a few things you didn't want to say, so...
Let's stop the bloodshed here, ok ? Politely said, as always, of course.
@richfiles
ReplyDelete"It's ok... You don't have to write social commentary. Just write a fic with a sexual twist and the comments section will write it out for you! "
That line made my day. XD Thank you so much.
And you did make me realize something. If I'm going to make a joke of that sort, I need to be very clear about it. The only thing worse than a bad joke is one presented poorly.
And a really bad joke.
...
Like that one. XD
Shouldn't Rarity say "Who's the lucky colt? Or filly, I don't mean to judge"? Or does she just assume her sister is gay? XD
ReplyDelete@Hawkysu Stepping in almost exactly one month later to ask why you even humored anyone that came here spouting some bullshit about 'anti-straight propoganda'
ReplyDelete@AlexReffand
ReplyDeleteA month later, I can't remember why. I guess it was to clear up any misconceptions about me or the story.