[Normal][Adventure-Lite] Raindrops is so happy
Author: Stormy Seas
Description: Raindrops believes her cutie mark predestined her to be a weathermare, but she was not content with that life. Then fate helped her accidentally drop a piano on the head of Celestia’s star pupil. With Raindrops depressed and adrift, her friend Seafoam convinces her to take a sightseeing cruise with a captain she knows. Raindrops heads out with Salty Breeze, but when the tour runs into a strange event the pair find themselves lost at sea. Worse, a massive storm is approaching quickly. Together, they must make it back safely and, along the way, perhaps discover what’s been missing in Raindrops’ life.Raindrops Keep Falling
Additional Tags: Slice-of-life, Advice, Sailing
27 comments:
OMG, could it be!
ReplyDeleteLAST!
SHIT, choked in the clutch.
I'll try reading this.
ReplyDeleteSounds fun! I'll read it.
ReplyDeleteWell, there's another song going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the day. I'll read this later tonite.
ReplyDeleteRaindrops keep fallin' on my head.
ReplyDeleteAnd just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed.
Nothin' seems to fit.
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'!
sorry about that.
Raindrops as a main character?
ReplyDeleteDo we have any stories like that yet?
I can't even recall seeing Raindrops in a fic at all yet (although she'll be making a brief appearance in a later chapter of my story) but I definitely don't remember any with her in the spotlight.
Better read this...
No shipping tag, huh? Well, I'm impressed. I thought for sure when they mentioned her going on a cruise with some captain, it'd be shipping. lol
ReplyDelete@ftfc
ReplyDeleteI despise you right now.
seems interesting, might actually read this one.
ReplyDelete@Greenf0x
ReplyDeleteWe said sorry!
Nice little story, two hooves up.
ReplyDeleteAnother story to add to my massive, overburdened and bursting at the seams "To Read" bookmark folder. Maybe I'll actually get around to reading some of them someday, but I'm just not a big fan of fanfiction. I like Raindrops though, so if I do get around to reading some more stories someday, this will be one of them.
ReplyDeleteCool, a story about Raindrops. She was always one of my favorite background characters.
ReplyDeleteThis looks quite unique. Must read.
ReplyDeleteHeh. That was neat. I like the "background pony who might as well be an OC because they have no canon personality" stories, and this one was surprisingly sweet and light.
ReplyDeleteHmm..... It's a great story, very inspiring.
ReplyDeleteOne of the better FanFics I've read.
A very unusual story based on a character no one really writes about
ReplyDeletei like it
I can't keep up? Is there anyway to get pony stories on Aldiko?
ReplyDeleteI like the pony's color scheme :)
ReplyDelete@pmcollector
ReplyDeleteDid you try downloading them as txt documents?
"Raindrops held on to the rails as she leaned over the side of the ship"
ReplyDeleteHow?!? With her mouth? Or is she hugging it?
Nice little story!
ReplyDelete@AzuNyan
The same way Octavia holds onto her bow.
There is a Raindrops and Derpy fanfic that is like a sequel to the fanfic, "Bubbles". If you want to read it, search 'Raindrops fanfiction' on DeviantArt and should be in there somewhere behind other fandom fanfiction.
ReplyDeleteNitpick: To be a ship it needs to have three or more masts that are fully rigged, (square sails). The Dusk Horizon, having two masts that are both fully rigged, is a brig.
ReplyDelete@Chakat Firepaw
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely correct, but brigs historically required large crews for vessels of their size and thus fell out of use. Because of the need to have the characters rely on each other, I glossed over any actual categorization. Extra crew would not have set the scene as I wanted. Personally, I've always been partial to snows.
“Seafoam put her hooves on her flanks and looked disapprovingly at Raindrops.”
ReplyDeleteHmm? Did she stand upright and do that? Odd.
“Watch the horizon and put you face into the wind.”
Should be “your” face.
"The stallion nickered."
“snickered”.
"Several long minutes later the custard mare stumbled though the outer cabin door and onto the main deck."
This is a pet peeve I have: What's the point of reiterating her color? She isn't defined by her color scheme nor is the scheme anything unique to her character. It's even confusing, especially since Raindrops just got done demanding the captain call her by her name. It might be a personal thing, but I'd rather see the character's actual name rather than repeating her physical characteristics.
"Raindrops torn herself away from the countless stars..."
Should be “tore” herself away.
Raindrops and Salty Breeze’s friendship comes off as haphazard. They just sort of immediately break out into the banter and back and forth bickering. Every piece of dialogue is pretty much Raindrops either being sarcastic and every character being as equally sarcastic back to her or her moping while not actually doing anything. Raindrops is just not that interesting. She wants something, but she has no kind of drive that could make her enjoyable; she’s whiny. Nothing bad or significant happens to her either. Yeah, she got fired, but she’s bumming of her friend. She flies into the storm and loses the boat, but the conflict is fixed without any consequences to Raindrops or the captain. She wants something, obstacles occur, and then she gets what she wants. She doesn’t grow as a character. All the characters are pretty flat save for their sarcasm.
What really keeps me from enjoying this fic is how heavy-handed the theme is. Everything is just so direct and obvious it leaves nothing for the characters to discover that the reader hasn't already predicted. All the philosophy about doing what you want to do in life is all told through really blatant expositional dialogue.
As a whole, I didn't like it.
@Sir Ostentatious
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you didn't enjoy the story. As my second attempt this one is an improvement over my past efforts, but I'll keep your comments in mind when working on future projects. I appreciate you pointing out the shortfalls you see in my story, and I'll try and work on them.