Author: Ek Vitki
Description: Warden, an earth pony of the royal guard, served Luna long before she was banished to the moon. Defying mortality, he returns from wandering the world to his now forgiven princess to resume his duty. What awaits him is a journey the likes of which he never would have imagined, and a doom he and the princess never saw coming.The Longest Journey Part 1
The Longest Journey Part 2
The Longest Journey Part 3
The Longest Journey Part 4 (New!)
Additional Tags: Shipping, Luna, Princess, Sad, Forgiveness
40 comments:
HURR DURR FIRST LULZ
ReplyDeleteHuh, well shipping with Luna isn't new, but this ancient earth pony idea I have not herd in a fan fic before.
ReplyDeleteLuna ship that isn't TwiLuna? that's a Rarity.
ReplyDelete*shoots self for bad pun*
HUURR DURR NOT FANFICTION.
She was eclipsed into her new story and concept!!! ^_^
ReplyDeletewhy labeled as not-fanfiction when clearly fanfiction?
ReplyDeleteSounds nice, I'll try to check it out.
ReplyDeleteAlright, if it has the word doom in the description I just have to read it.
ReplyDeleteIt is awesome to see this make it here. Great work and I look forward to future chapters.
ReplyDeleteThis wouldn't happen to have anything to do with that Norwegian adventure game called The Longest Journey, would it? Cause I would totally read a cross-over with that... I'm not even sure why that hasn't been written before. Those setting are almost perfect for each other.
ReplyDeleteWhy is this labed non-fanfiction?
ReplyDeleteNot-fanfiction tag?
ReplyDeleteSounds interesting. Will read.
ReplyDeleteWarden eh? Hmmm...
ReplyDeleteHm, it was alright. Something about the characterization of the sisters bothered me though.
ReplyDeleteI liked it, though I don't see it being a particularly long fic judging from the first chapter. That's ok though, whats there is well written and enjoyable.
ReplyDelete@fizzlefist
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, the reunion is only the beginning of a long tale. In retrospect, I felt I should've put the adventure tag on it.
Why is this label not-fanfiction, cause it definitely is.
ReplyDeleteAww... I was hoping this was a crossover with the Funcom adventure game of the same name...
ReplyDeleteYep, sure is a fan fiction right there.
ReplyDeleteThat was a magnificent introduction. An excellent blend of humor, slice-of-life, and drama. While the shift between the different time periods was a bit rough, it proved to make the comparison between the halcyon days of Warden's service and the eventual tragedy of Luna's exile all the more heartbreaking. Additionally, the way you wrote the background was great. While there were enough details to create an image, you managed to leave enough out to allow the reader to use their imagination to fill in the gaps. Lastly, the characterization of the main cast was done quote nicely. While it was easy to able to grasp the overall personality of Warden, you managed to create more character depth in one chapter than some fan-fics do in five, althewhile showing the potential for character growth in later chapters. I sincerely hope that you upload more chapters soon, because this is definitely a story to keep an eye on.
ReplyDelete@Hybridnecros
ReplyDeleteYou sir have made my day. Er, night. It is always good to receive detailed input from my readers, and don't you worry, I have AT LEAST 6 chapters planned out in advance already, and as this piece goes on I'm sure I will need more to fit everything I intend on writing in.
And this goes as a thank you to all my other readers for taking the time to slog through 23 pages of character development.
@CartoonGeld
And thank you for helping me through the process of turning the original piece into something I can for once be proud of.
Enjoy your evening bronies. -Ek Vitki
Is this being rewritten? I could swear I've read this before, if so I definitely look forward to an expanded version, as I distinctly remember enjoying it, but it being fairly short.
ReplyDelete@Flutterknight
ReplyDeleteIt has been rewritten, you probably saw it on either fanfiction.net or FIMfiction, the version on either site is null now. The one here on EQD is three times its length, with chapter 2 having been scrapped completely.
@Hunter Parasite
ReplyDeleteWill you be publishing the updated version to FIMfiction? I have a distinct preference for that site over GDocs. ...mind you, GDocs is itself far and away better than dA, but that is neather here nor there.
@Starcat5
ReplyDeleteWell I wasn't planning on doing that, but since you request it, I can imagine others must want it as well. So I'll get around to it within a day or so, most likely tomorrow.
@Hunter Parasite
ReplyDeleteWow! I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed the start to this wonderful story! The emotions were very poignant and Warden's character is really deep. Somehow, bittersweet love stories always strike a chord with me, and I felt my heart ache in that last scene with the painting.
Excellent work and I look forward to more!
@Dusklight
ReplyDeleteThank you!
i am pretty stunned :O
ReplyDeleteif every chapter is as good as the first one, this is going to be an amazing story
For all those who would prefer to read it on FIMFiction, I have updated it.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.fimfiction.net/story/3789/The-Longest-Journey
Enjoy.
Dude.... Really this storry is already on fanfic.net You could change it up a bit atleast. But none the less its still a good story.
ReplyDelete@mikes22
ReplyDeleteRead the comments. He's already said that this is an updated version. Chapter two has been scrapped outright and will be replaced at a later date.
Note: I'm a free-flow writer so my grammar isn't the best when I write, so forgive me if this is a little rough to read.
ReplyDeleteAs a little bit of a writer myself I found this story (so far) to be top notch. I loved the Idea of Warden and his position, it added depth to universe of MLP I had never truly cared to know (but I now want to).
While I did find that the flashbacks pulled me out of the story on occasion, it was handled well enough that it didn't destroy the overall flow of the piece and still managed to keep me glued to the monitor wanting more. From a writing perspective I know the difficultly in trying to convey a character's back story via flashback, they can kill the overall flow and hamper the desire to continue reading, so when it is handled well I tend to notice it. So kudos there.
When it came to the overall emotions you were trying to present to me (as a reader). I felt that you knew how to pull on them without trying to rip them out of my chest but when it came down to those moments that you did yank, it felt like it was necessary and added additional weight to the situation which further added to overall enjoyment of the piece.
I also liked how you managed to slide characters in from the cannon without it feeling jammed in there for it to appeal the reader's enjoyment, but as minor catalysts to continue Warden's journey along his story which can also be difficult from a writing perspective as it tends to lean either way of being too much or too little for people to notice (or care).
So overall I say again, this Piece is top notch and I'm very eager to read more of the story when it comes out.
P.S. Again sorry if it was painful to read my Comments.
@Shadowtempest47
ReplyDeleteIt is always good to hear input, no matter how long it may be. Tomorrow's story updates will bring you the next chapter, unless of course you fancy FIMfiction, which has already been updated.
I love stories about luna!
ReplyDeleteYAY MORE STORIES!!!
I just hope it won't take another month for the next chapter
ReplyDeleteI had an idea like this. Didn't really go anywhere. I liked the idea, though, so I want to incorporate it into a different fic with a completely different set of characters
ReplyDeleteHmm this reminds me of something I don't like in most fics, and that's how easily Celestia and Luna get away with abuse of power in the fanon.
ReplyDeleteAs Luna summarized, she scared the guest, assaulted the royal guard and broke into the castle, but cause he is their friend he gets away with it, gets royal treatment and get laid?
And since he is technically still in her service, for more loyal his 1000y devotion makes him, this would be considered treason.
Same thing even in canon with Twilight, she causes chaos and abuses her powers, and only get a small scolding from Celestia.
Wouldn't be surprised in the current guards resign from their positions for the sisters playing favorites.
loved it, but the scene with Luna's servant was unnecessary
ReplyDelete@Natzo You don't like abuse of Goddess Pony power, eh? *Trollestia and the devious writer share wicked grins* Oh yes, we'll be writing something extra special for youuuuuu... *TRO-LO-LO-LO-LO!!* >:D
ReplyDeleteSPOILER ALERT!!!
ReplyDeleteRoyal Cohort of the Moon
-Sure you don't mean "Royal Consort of the Moon"? In other words, are they engaged now?
white vitreous fluid
-Pretty sure this should be clear, not white.
his dying eyes.
-Isn't this "eye" singular by now?
when you decide to get married,
-Ok, so not married, unless it was very secret, but I doubt that.
Vigdis removed a torched
-torch
Warden’s shoulders ground painfully in their sockets as he came upon the gates to Canterlot.
-I wonder if he knows he will need a ticket to the Gala?
he would simply ask to see Princess Luna, saying he bore an important message committed to memory.
-Ah...
not felt since eons long gone.
-Centuries I think... eons are much longer.