[Sad]
Author: Device Heretic
Description: Many years after sending her beloved protege to Ponyville, unease sits heavily on the heart of Equestria's Sun Princess, as her relationship with Twilight Sparkle seems to have cooled despite all they've accomplished together. On the advice of her sister, Celestia sets out to investigate and resolve the lost connection with her most faithful student. A look at Twilight, Luna, and Celestia as Twilight gets older.Eternal (New Chapter 8!)
Additional Tags: Bittersweet, Long, Drama, Philosophical, Redemption
[Adventure][Bittersweet]
Description: An old story reminds Princess Luna of the dark times a thousand years earlier, when Discord ran free. In their time of need, the princesses found a loyal ally in the headstrong unicorn knight, Starlight Chaser, whose waywardness was second only to her nobility and courage. But one loyal knight may not be enough to save Luna as the Princess of the Moon is set adrift on a sea of war, politics, and her own desire to be as beloved as Celestia.The Wayward Knight
Additional Tags: Adventure, Sad, Bittersweet, History, Tragedy
119 comments:
If I read this I'll cry.
ReplyDeleteOoh, Twilight Sparkle, Arch-Mage of Equestria!!
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely going to save this one!!
So many fics, so little time...
ReplyDeleteIsaw a vid of Spike leaving Twilight when he grows up which made me shed a tea then My little Dashie touched to much and I cried buckets for days. I'm sure this story is touching but I'm not reading it at the moment
ReplyDeleteAlways nice to see more Celestia/Twilight works, and this is nicely written. Too many showy words, but well-written.
ReplyDeleteGoing to keep reading.
Sounds really good.
ReplyDeleteWow, one of my favourite fics now on EqD! Congrats to Device.
ReplyDelete~LunaUsesCaps.
i read my sad for the day with something else.
ReplyDeletealso, long is long.
HAPPY MARTIN LUTHER KING DAAAY!!! TO ALL BRONIES BLACK, WHITE AND ALL SHADES!
ReplyDeleteThis seems like it could be really good.... ima bookmark it
ReplyDeleteI've been reading this one and it's excellent. It does a great job of dealing with how important the bond is between Twilight and Celestia as the student grows up.
ReplyDeleteNO! No more sadness. I read My Little Dashie yesterday, and had a sad then. No more sadness! I want to smile again! :(
ReplyDeleteThrough the first three chapters (all that have been posted so far) it's not crushingly sad, for those that are worried. It's more along the lines of a parent's struggle to deal with their child growing up and going out on their own and figuring out how to adjust their relationship than it is about crushing, devastating sadness.
ReplyDeleteThat said, chapter 3 does have a dramatic ending that could signal tragedy ahead... but I hold out hope for the best.
this story will make you cry
ReplyDeleteit made me cry
I think this story is good enough to offer a bit of advice:
ReplyDeleteThe first chapter and a lot of the second is lacking in emotional variation. Even a sad story can have up moments and down moments. But the first five or six scenes were almost useless in how much they repeated themselves. Each scene needs to have a purpose, a place in advancing the characters or plot. As it was, there were a lot of scenes that did neither. It really bogged down the story in places, made Celestia seem slow-witted to not realize certain things sooner.
I still read the story to the end, because it is good, better than a lot of things I've read lately.
i ve been waiting for this to make it to eqd for a while. this is one of the best written stories ive ever read the characterization ( especially luna) is so awesome. this really feels like a very very realistic portrayal of what the mane six and the princesses will be like 20-30 years after the events of the series.
ReplyDeleteIts a lot like " composure" but i like this one better ( and i love composure) cause it explores openly the fact that a " twilestia" relationship would almost certainly NOT be a healthy one.
deserves to be a six star.
Euch... Everytime I see a really long story like this I always think at every cliffhanger and tense moment "Well, at least there is a lot more to go through, I'm sure it gets resolved." When will I learn that no matter how long the chapters, if an author can end on a cliffhanger (s)he usually will?
ReplyDeleteWell, whatever. Its a very interesting story and I can't wait for more. Don't really have any useful pointers or anything, sorry :P
COME ON EVERYPONY ITS MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY!! LOVE AND TOLERATE EVERYTHING REGARDLESS OF WHO THEY ARE OR WHAT SKIN TONE THEY HAVE!
ReplyDeleteI am Normally not a big fan of sad fics...
ReplyDeleteTHIS is an exception, every chapter has emotionally engrossed me and when I start reading one I can't put it down. (Seriously it was like 3 AM when I saw the last update and i am like "o i'll just read the first bit" suddenly I find that it's nearly an hour later and I have finished the chapter). Also it's not THAT sad, it's sad in the way that the characters have some personal and interpersonal issues and the fic is about those but it's not one of those sad futurefics where everyone's life is terrible and friendships are broken and yadda yadda yadda. I honestly vastly prefer this kind of sadness it feels much more real and less contrived.
Highly HIGHLY recommended, this is among the best fics in the fandom that I have read.
One of the best fics I've read in recent memory, and I'm not even done with chapter one yet. This isn't just good writing for a fanfiction--this is good writing, period.
ReplyDeleteI hate Sadlestia fics. Usually she's all emo about living forever. I can see that being a bit depressing but come on, she has ponies. She had ALL THE PONIES! You can't stay sad for long when you can just hug a pony!
ReplyDeleteBut this seems like it has more personal depth beyond the "immortality is hell" contrivance and is relevant to the show more or less so I might read it.
Oh my actual god.
ReplyDeleteOne of the best things I've read in a long, long time. It makes me feel feelings I didn't know I still could.
I thought it was awesome, but it would have been better if I wasn't stupid? [ SPOILER ALERT ] Did Celestia die, or what? [ END SPOILER ALERT ]
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading this TODAY.
ReplyDeleteThis is weird.
Also, dream-sequence Luna? And just Luna in general?
I giggled.
-Delta-
I can't compete with this sh*t.
ReplyDeleteI better start reading...
Almost done reading this, Wondering how it ends (And hoping it wont end the way i think it will). Good read all in all
ReplyDeleteThis was good, and I liked the relationship dynamics between Celestia, Luna, and Twilight. Cannot wait to see where it goes from here.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see this up. Cant wait for the next one, man!
ReplyDeleteBest new story I've read in weeks. And that's from someone not inclined to like [Sad] stories, or ones where Twilight's dependence on Celestia is questioned.
ReplyDeleteLuna's characterization is particularly striking. It's not easy to reconcile Luna as both affectionate prankster and Nightmare Moon. But that's one of the lesser charms of this depiction.
I'll also disagree with The Grey Potter on pacing. I love the slow realization of what's going on, and it's great at pulling me into the next chapter. I wish it were a little clearer what Celestia wants for Twilight - but it is only chapter 3.
Why do I like this drama so much?
ReplyDeleteIt hurrttssss
Best characterization of Luna in any fanfic I've read. (And I read a lot!) The interplay between her and Celestia is terrific.
ReplyDeleteThe descriptions are wonderful, from just setting a scene in a location to describing how magic looks and works.
I think the pacing is just fine. I never skimmed anything and nothing felt repetitive. I read it (and the cut chapter) all in one sitting... just couldn't put it down.
The bit with Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo was absolutely brilliant! Such a great insight into both of their characters!
Eagerly awaiting more!
...just read the latest chapter...now I have to wait in agony until the next one comes out. Curse and your good writing. Normally I don't like this kind of story but, it's good. Really. Good.
ReplyDeleteThat chapter IV... Inception anyone?
ReplyDeleteGreat chapter 4, with so many nice touches. It was good to see the mane cast together again (poor Fluttershy should be on her honeymoon though.) Luna exercising her Nightmare Night talents to express her rage and hurt made for a chilling scene as well. And of course, the bucket. But the draw was the war in Twilight's mind as she struggled to accept the truth that took away the one bit of faith that she had at the center of her entire life.
ReplyDeleteNow to delve into what is happening to Celestia. It would be a true tragedy if the knowledge that Twilight came by so dearly in this chapter would end up having no practical applications moving forward. There has to be a new dawn to follow,
Wonderful stuff!
Loved chapter 4, though it almost has that almost-to-the-conclusion feel to it. Hope there's more than one or two chapters after this XD
ReplyDeleteHow can this story have six stars when there are only five to be earned? O_o
ReplyDelete@JMC
ReplyDeleteThat's how good this story is xD
Because some stories are too awesome for a mere five star rating to do them justice...
ReplyDeleteIn actuality stories become six star when they have 4.9 stars for a considerable length of time. Because of the way ratings are averaged, it takes many many five star ratings to balance out even a few lower ratings enough for that. And considering that some people routinely 1 star any story that includes themes they don't like, most 6 star stories are exceptional.
This one is a good example of that. Device Heretic, you are a master of suspense and atmosphere. I'm overjoyed every time I see this update, and every chapter leaves me wanting and needing the next. You've developed the ponies in their middle age with amazing subtlety and skill.
this story have the rigth to have a 6 star.
ReplyDelete@Pyrite I guess that makes sense on a symbolic level. If the average rating is, say, 4.7, then you need some way to distinguish between 4.8 and 4.9.
ReplyDeleteThat said, as a mathematician (and as someone who's been compared to Twilight Sparkle on more than a few occasions), giving a story a rating of 6 on a scale of 5 just doesn't make any sense. :P
@The Grey Potter
ReplyDelete--- SPOILER ALERT ---
I was disappointed by the ending of Chapter 4, too. I thought it went from a feeling of ZOMG-nuclear-meltdown-Twilight to OK-all-better-nao a little too quickly. Luna was getting the crap kicked out of her in Twilight's dream, and Twilight was, essentially, going insane. Then, all of a sudden Twilight wakes up and they're both just fine? That kinda killed it for me.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@JMC
ReplyDeleteJudging by Chapter 5, I wouldn't say Twilight is "just fine" by any means. Ready to face reality, sure, but most of the next chapter is spent with her trying to stabilize herself psychologically after what she just went through. Luna had to mentally guide her to some psychic plane of relaxation just to give her a fighting chance to keep from melting down again as she rationally thought her way through the consequences of her epiphany.
I do love the tragic, platonic love triangle that these three characters represent. Luna fell from grace because she grew to resent the love and adoration her sister received, as she was the only one who could see that her sister wasn't truly perfect. Luna's savior and first friend was her sister's own prized student, who possibly loves and worships Celestia more than anyone else in history, and is so unwilling to see her as anything less than perfect that she'd rather do real damage to her psyche than admit it. And Celestia herself is haunted by the times she failed her sister and now, it seems, Twilight.
That is one crazy triangle of issues and devotion. Love it to death.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletesad in a good way, I do hoppe that celestia will no longer be the eternal sun, but can't wait for next chapter regardless
ReplyDeletehello, I am the author of this story.
ReplyDeletethank you for your kind words, everyone, it means a lot-- this is the first serious work of fiction I have ever written, and the big response and all your advice has been a lot of help.
for those of you not inclined to check my FiMFiction blog, there are two chapters and an epilogue (which will be published alongside the last chapter) remaining in this story; but knowing me, they'll be chapters approximately as long as four or five chapters of other stories at least.
Again, thank you all so much for your praise. I set out to write a story that people would enjoy reading and find meaningful, and it is my hope that the ending won't disappoint.
-device heretic
Even if this was an unintended half-chapter, it certainly didn't disappoint. There were multiple intense confrontations within Celestia's mind as Twilight peels back the layers of their relationship to find what the core of it actually is. I liked the format, which had Twilight as the mental equivalent of a deep sea diver with Luna tending to the lifeline and airhose. The subplot of the remaining Elements trying to decide on a course of action and failing spectacularly added some welcome lightness to it all.
ReplyDeleteI can hardly wait for the rest of the chapter.
@device heretic
ReplyDeleteThis is unbelievable. Where were you hiding? I stumbled upon this off-site and instantly fell in love. This needs way more attention than it's getting.
Patiently awaiting the conclusion.
I'm barely awake today after cramming in that epic 30k, 2-part chapter when I was supposed to be unconscious last night. What can I say? Twilight's exploration of Celestia's mind easily beats whatever dreams I normally get, so it was a good trade.
ReplyDeleteI feel bad about the entertainment I received watching my favorite purple unicorn go through the emotional wringer. It was, at times, quite brutal, and I loved it so. The nods to the various tropes associated with these characters (from alicorn Twilight to Nightmare Celestia to Twilestia) were all fun explorations of the facets of their characters and relationship that lead so readily to such stories (and the fact that this even managed to work in a source for Twi-Dash shipping in there to boot made me laugh.)
I continued to enjoyed the use of the rest of the Mane Six as a bit of comedy relief (Fluttershy's efforts to hug the Nightmare Moon from Luna was adorable) but I also appreciated their role in picking Twilight back up after she was completely devastated and humiliated by her mentor's evasions.
Mostly, though, I loved this chapter for how incredible Twilight is throughout, and how all of her is on display: her insecurities, her intelligence, he resolve, her awkwardness... all of her most heroic traits and all the things that make her such a neurotic mess, all balled together as they should be. These three sisters all such rich characters and this story never hesitates to use every last bit they have to offer, which is what makes it such a delight to read.
Holy crap. This is easily one of the most epic things I've ever read. Utterly amazing.
ReplyDeleteI jump a little inside every time you update, which is with a frequency and consistency that makes me hate myself a little for not being able to match it.
Bring it home in the final chapter, you'll find we're all on board with you for it.
@Pyrite
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how much I needed to hear someone say that right now.
I feel silly, but...as I'm sitting here staring at my notes for the finale...it all just seems really big.
So thanks. I'll do my best to live up to everyone's expectations!
This is merely one mare's opinion, but I haven't been this enthralled with a story since Past Sins - yes, I know that mere mention is sacrilege. I find myself using words like "superb" or "enthralling" to vainly describe what is (again in my easily excitable opinion) an impressive literary accomplishment. Well done! Thank you for the wonderful read!
ReplyDeleteI am enthralled alot, apparently. Smooth, Twi. Hmph.
ReplyDeleteTwi- you and I are on the same page with this one.
ReplyDeleteI read and very much enjoyed Past Sins, it's one of those stories that continues to stick with me many months after finishing it, and I've plugged the core message into many important areas of my life.
That said, in my opinion Eternal is the better story. From the depth and complexity of the characters, the intricacy of their relationships, the sheer emotional terror I feel at the end of every single chapter... This is already one of those stories that I will remember for years, and I can't wait to see how it ends - for better or for worse.
I do not know how to properly communicate to the author how highly I regard their writing without coming across as insincere.
@Twifight Sparkill
ReplyDeleteWhy is the mention of Past Sins sacrilege?
@JMC
ReplyDeleteThe fandom's pretty split on the matter. It's a love-it-or-hate-it fic for most people, and those that hate it can't understand those that love it, and vice versa. Many a flame war has kicked off because if this, not in the least because those who like i tend to spam Nyx around a lot, cheapening her.
@Varanus
ReplyDeleteReally? O_o Personally, I love both Past Sins and Eternal. But I don't understand why a mention of the former would be bad here. The works are so completely different (e.g., style, structure, perspective, theme, ...), that it's nigh impossible to compare them.
This story is now complete.
ReplyDeleteGoddamn. Beautiful and sad. One of the very, very best things this fandom has ever produced.
@Corvus Dei
ReplyDeleteI will agree - if this was available back when Past Sins came about, there'd be some very heavy discussion regarding what was better and why - I too believe Eternal to be superior. However, being me, I'm inclined to think such because I read Sins first. C'mon, who doesn't think the "latest & greatest" surpasses what once and was?
Truth is, for when Past Sins arrived, it was considered the fanfic to beat all - I hadn't seen controversy over a story like THAT since Cupcakes!
Alas, as with Past Sins, we reach another conclusion. Another part of me dies. The journey hath met it's own inevitability. Glad someone else lived the ride - LOVED the ride - in similar fashion.
Thanks Divine Heretic. Can't wait for more of your choice work.
@JMC
As Varanus noted, Past Sins got alot of attention. The stories and their structure are vastly different, yet... they struck me as deeply. For me they represent - and I say this knowing I'm an ignorant mare - the very best. I pray I find a caliber of craft worthy beyond. Give me suggestions! As of now, as is always, the end is heartache. And beautiful. And tearful. And graciously accepted. Sigh.
So, not sure why my story isn't worthy of a "update completed" re-post like most other ones, but I would like to clear things up-- it IS complete.
ReplyDeleteI have emailed about it, and...well, I dunno, no response.
Maybe they're giving up on doing that, though...I'm terrible at keeping up with site news.
Unbelievable. This was utterly amazing. This deserves 6/5 stars and much much more attention.
ReplyDeleteDouble Post, but I just wanted to make it clear. That was a fantastic ending. I've seen many stories fall apart right at the end. There was none of that here. Bravo.
ReplyDelete@device heretic
ReplyDeleteI've seen it happen with other stories as well... The last update shows up in a group update post, and then later that day or the next gets its own "Update Complete" post. No idea if it's intentional or a simple oversight, but I suspect this will get one soon enough if you've brought it to their attention.
I'll be back to give some detailed feedback on the big finish when I have time to write more, but overall I loved the story and the epilog. Wonderful job!
As Detoxicity noted, and I'm also repeating for matter of emphasis - brilliant ending. Tears of joy and sorrow shed for such an important piece of work, as should be.
ReplyDeleteAgain. Woohoo!
This has been such a wonderful story! I'm both glad to see the author has finished, but it's also a little sad to know I won't have more chapters to look forward to. I can't wait to see what Device Heretic will write next. Thanks for such a great read!
ReplyDeleteEasily one of the most powerful stories this fandom has to offer. There's not really anything that can be said, words don't do a fic like this justice. I'd post the crying awesome face clapping gif, but... That doesn't really work here.
ReplyDeleteAha... there's the final update on the main page.
ReplyDeleteA very moving and satisfying conclusion to a really wonderful read all the way through. I had no idea how deeply into the characters this story would delve when I started, and half the joy was in reading the grand adventure and the other half was in mulling over the implications of each chapter for a good while afterwards. I do feel a bit for those who read this now that it's complete, as they'll have to show restraint in order to put it down and think about it in the same way that those who read it bit by released bit were forced to do.
The ending was emotional and conveyed a grand sense of loss without being crushingly sad, which I greatly appreciated. I've always liked to think that the endings that these characters reach will be happy ones, despite the sadness that comes from knowing they must eventually reach an ending at all. And there's always room for a bit of excitement and speculation about what will come next.
Beautiful story all around, and one that I think conveyed a variety of ideas in unique ways while entertaining me thoroughly... That's pretty much all that I could possible ask for.
I noticed on the FIMFiction board you were asking if people would be interested in reading some stories set between the last chapter here and the epilogue. I certainly won't hesitate to read whatever your next work happens to be, but I personally don't feel the need to pry into those events. I'm sure there's some delightful tales to be told, no doubt, but while I would happily read them I don't know that they're necessary... Things feel complete and satisfying as they stand. I'd be just as eager to read something new and unconnected to these events entirely.
Regardless, thank you so much for taking the time to pen and share what is easily one of my favorite stories to come from this fandom!
Looking forward to chatting with you soon, device. I know you've been having tough times lately, what with your account getting hacked - again, it seems.
ReplyDeleteYou know where to catch me. I'm heading off to sleep now, but drop me a line soon.
@device heretic
ReplyDeleteI read the whole thing in one sitting. The final chapter and the epilogue made me cry like a little filly, and anyone who doesn't has a heart of stone. Masterful work. Bravo!
I'd definitely be interested in reading more of your work, sequels or otherwise.
its done? T_T
ReplyDeleteNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Many many manly tears. Fantastically well written.
ReplyDeleteThere was this girl, and I started to take off my mask for her...but it scared her away. We're good friends now, but I always have to wear that mask around her. Your story rings true for me because I desperately feel the need to take that mask off, but keep telling myself that I can't. When Twilight and Celestia just sat with each other, just _being_... . You nailed that emotion perfectly, I cried that whole scene.
ReplyDeleteWell done. This is a story to be reread many times.
Simply put this is a masterpiece. Every scene elegantly scripted and written. The bittersweet tag is incredibly apt and it is all the better for it. I wish I could give you more stars Device Heretic. You deserve all of them. I'll be enjoying this tale for a long time.
ReplyDeleteWell done and thank you for penning it.
An absolute masterpiece. I wept openly, and felt no shame.
ReplyDeleteIt is my sincere hope that this story comes to be recognized for the exceptional piece of work that it is.
Gods above, brb checking if I still look half-manly in the mirror. A story about cartoon ponies made me tear up three times in two chapters, and that feels fine.
ReplyDeleteI think this sets a new high as far as medium-long fics go. This was... Engaging.
I was in the middle of reading, and now it says Fic not found. I am so sad, I literally can't put this story down till I finish it. :C One of the best fanfics I've ever read.
ReplyDeleteknighty here, looks like Device Heretic managed to get his account hit (again) and this time they wiped literally everything off there. I'll see about recovering from a backup for him but it's probably just easier if he reuploads and deals with losing the ratings (which he'll probably get back in a day). So yeah, don't email me about it please.
ReplyDeleteDeleted!
ReplyDeleteHopefully the situation with his account is fixed soon (and thus, Eternal is reuploaded), because it was one amazing story that pretty much everypony should read.
ReplyDeleteI was starting to wonder myself! I was nearly done. D:
ReplyDeleteChapter 1: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1D14_i9Ha8SXyGO9fheqQ3U5v6-v8p1R-u5_Jjf5hD2g/edit
ReplyDeleteChapter 2: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qoBfZh6wvwhVyFlaUwVUmBYomYzZtHdDnPWcjQXZe30/edit
Chapter 3: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ezprIgIOs6xN-fjf-ZfH21uQPcE27vfOtFr2Rs3LwRo/edit
Chapter 4: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1W_m1ZKcLp6YRzgCnJ-NIp8UeWzw_tjZUhfpNHH09Mkc/edit
Chapter 5: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ePTmbvq9_akPkke3eEAs-EAPCO9t02vF6LI59Ku5gPo/edit
Chapter 6: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XY1CzmfCmmG7vIdAFXBwLjOZro0A1HvrxpS5nYjURR8/edit
Chapter 7 part 1: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1242lwK3Qy5wtD9piTZUE4dlB9begEjHgVh-yLEscjWU/edit
Chapter 7 part 2: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_f9lY27xu-ZQZKi7h1ep2CmGU5S8LyJwYe56BPjJ46w/edit
Chapter 8 part 1: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zUbGeVEyZfwrcDRq_ZG9cQjDwnUJTnUV-UOeesU1jLM/edit
Chapter 8 part 2: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WrAzwFfNTnfQ2L-2Pa3Bvsxd6YLanse7--g-S2MZ2OM/edit
Epilogue: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VFbzSnNvWDueOAkVmmvqKvdDsdqds22ZYaKBw-BJkaY/edit
Here it is in the cloud for people who want to read it. I may send an email to EqD as well, but I want device heretic's permission first probably...
He will upload it later today, so nevermind that. The links will remain, and I will keep the docs current. Just in case.
ReplyDeleteWow, I tried looking up this piece of fiction again because I wanted to read the other stuff from Device Heretic but when I couldn't find it, I was sad. Then I was able to get a look onto his profile page and... well... saddens me. From the sounds of it he's been going through a hard time and then someone comes along and makes it more miserable. And the worst part? This is a bucking awesome piece of literature, surprising that it was written by an amateur.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is... Good work, try and stay strong.
Seems the guy couldn't take the attention this fic got that well, as he would inevitably get the haters. As sad as it is, I do hope he sees sense once they die down (they're going to love these reactions, unfortunately) and re-uploads the story. For now, I simply made a copy of every chapter he posted. I refuse to let such a work of art simply die like this.
ReplyDeleteOh wow. I've put off this fic for a week and now that I finally have time for it the author has taken it down?
ReplyDeleteSigh. I hope he sees sense and puts it out there again. I would very much like to read it.
@Regnier
ReplyDeleteDevice heretic was hacked -- he did not take it down on purpose :)
Huh.
ReplyDeleteWell whatta ya know about that.
@Teacup The narrative of this story delved so deeply into emotional matters, I cannot fathom how much more intimate a character study could be. That is the crux of the story, its heart; the inner workings of just who Twilight and Celestia are in this version of Equestria, what they are and what they become as they learn the difficult lessons of their lives. I am glad to see that Celestia learned the most important lesson any immortal being should learn: love without fear, and sorrow without despair. Treasure the lives of all those you have known, each small life a shining jewel you can carry more strongly than any book about them ever could. An immortal is the steward of the memories of their loved ones, and as this story purposely demonstrates, denying the self of friendship and love is the true course for an immortal to be driven insane. Has it not been accepted that indeed, fear is the little death? Then how much greater a doom is a fear that causes one to abandon the quest for love?
ReplyDeleteAs for the story itself, never before have I drank so deeply of the lines between the dialog, marking each slight facial motion and tone, for these were the shades and tones that fleshed out and enriched the emotions so greatly. The final chapters and epilogue were truly beautiful, a gentle, sweet melancholic triumph rather than final climactic conflict, which I'm typically drawn to by the warriors heart within this scientist most people see. Now, that is not a mask as instead it's a separate aspect of myself which doesn't quite meld with the others. Indeed, none of my various fragments work well with each other! But that in and of itself is fascinating, for I think like no one else I know. If there's one additional thing I'm very grateful for about this story besides it's emotive power and the soft, warming radiance of its close, it's that it has served as a reminder of just how unusual my mind is. It's allowed me to see how emotional matters affect people, and to explain them at last through such depth that I finally comprehend them, never having felt such things before myself. I found science very early and threw myself into logic. Now, it has saved me from making many common mistakes in life, but it has also sapped my creative edge terribly. I cannot write a deeply touching masterpiece like this, because it's simply too difficult for me to understand how deeply emotional characters need to act. I almost always end up with a very logical progression and all my characters move along flawlessly rational lines! I never have plot hole, any of my longer stories end up reading like the manual to a microwave.
Well, I suppose I've rambled enough now. The story has touched me deeply, and at so many points I simply wanted to reach into it and comfort them all, especially dear Twilight, who has a special place in my heart, for she's more similar to me than any pony, save that I am the confidence she often lacks. If there is any lingering regret from reading the story, it's that I can never really be her friend, for I truly believe we would be very good friends, were she to exist.
Ah well, that's what science is for! BWAH HA HA HA!! *Touchy-feely guy is done now. Mad scientist mode reactivated!*
Thank you for the cloud post so I could carry on reading! :3
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I have to say, that is the most breathtaking and emotional story I've ever read, and I never thought I'd find such a gem in a pony fic. Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing it. <3
Aaaaaaaaaaand it's back :)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.fimfiction.net/story/12259/Eternal
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLooks like he got hacked again.
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry for this poor guy.
Yep, definitely hacked. No doubt this will be the final straw in the poor guys mind.
ReplyDeleteI'd say the fic while you can, and try to keep it alive.
HURR I'M DEVICE HERETIC AND I NEED TO PICK BETTER EMAIL PASSWORDS
ReplyDeletePONIES ARE FOR QUEERS AND MAN CHILDREN, GROW UP YOU FAGGOTS
It's incredibly sad and pathetic that someone felt the need to destroy this story. I hope there's an offline backup somewhere.
ReplyDeleteThe links are all in this doc:
ReplyDeletehttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1Mb29QAKEAPzg_AKuKngglnc1dTAC-YvDPUsCX1inn4I/edit
I refuse to let this story die. I am reformatting it for ease of reading on Google Docs, and slowly making sure that I am updating them to the most recent copies that device heretic had uploaded.
The moment he reuploaded them I redownloaded all of them.
I am going to beg EqD to consider at least temporarily putting these copies up. I just hate having to resort to this, period.
They aren't going to post it, but I have posted the links above. I'll keep them maintained.
ReplyDeleteAwesome, thanks! I was riiight in the middle of reading it when It got deleted. I freaked out ,_,
ReplyDelete@device heretic Dear loser hacker troll, say that to my face. I am physically capable of tearing your arms off and beating you to death with them, you fat flabby unemployed talentless sack of manure. You'll die soon from a pulmonary embolism, triggered by your inactivity and 500+ cholesterol level.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad I downloaded this story before it was taken down.
ReplyDeleteReading this was an experience. I cried many times, and it rarely happens even once. Thank you.
Someone should definitely re-upload it. I never got to finish reading it.
ReplyDelete@device heretic
ReplyDeleteI bet you feel like a real badass, guessing a password. What a cool dude super hacker you are.
Wow, we've got a real live book-burner on the loose, it seems. One of the worst sorts of human. Jykinturah, thanks for preserving an online copy - I read this as it was posted and loved every bit of it, but neglected to save a copy for future reference. Here's hoping that Device Heretic recovers and finds an official (and less easily hackable) home for it.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, anyone happening upon this story's entry here, definitely check out Jykinturah's Google Docs copy of this. It's worth every one of its six stars.
@Jykinturah you are a wonderful human being.
ReplyDeleteStory downloaded and backed up.
@Device Heretic, I sincerely hope you are not discouraged by all of this. Eternal is an incredibly powerful story and you have a tremendous ability.
This story was taken down by a hacker? Feels bad... :(
ReplyDeleteIf anyone is interested, I can upload a single HTML file with all chapters combined or epub as soon as I get home.
An old habit of backing up all fics I read online proves helpful again...
Hackers? In my FiM fics? Deary me — we can't have that, now can we!
ReplyDeleteHere, have another backup file. All of the Google docs merged into a single PDF:
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/48209791/Eternal%20by%20Device%20Heretic.pdf
Haters gonna hate, ponies gonna pwn.
Just letting you know, Device Heretic, that we enjoy the story you've created. I hope you don't let this 'hacker' get you down.
ReplyDeleteArgh. You have /got/ to be kidding me. Device heretic hacked again? This absolutely awful. But thank you to everyone who linked to copies ^_^
ReplyDeleteThis was such a beautiful, beautiful, bittersweet story. I cried so many tears, my eyes actually hurt.
ReplyDeleteI...don't have words to describe what I'm feeling. I can say that I highly recommend this story.
....it made me realize I don't spend enough time with my friends. It made me realize I miss them so terribly much. I'm fixing that now.
Thank you. So many tears...so, so many tears....
Device heretic is back.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.fimfiction.net/blog/10948
Fuck yes.
I politely asked that they fix the link, and they did! :) More people need to read this fic.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness everything is back to normal!
ReplyDeleteOh, also huzzah! More Divine Heretic! Mm, my happy has been doubled! 20% cooler!
ReplyDeleteAnd so on. ^_^
Damnable Hells! I've posted three times in a row - t'is not spam, but for joyous declare!
ReplyDeleteThe Wayward Knight is wonderful! Rich and colourful, with characters old and new - Starlight Chaser is delightfully boisterous and bold - certainly to be, even in infancy, a delightfully wicked romp! Huzzah!
I think I failed to mimic Luna, tsk. I love the way Heretic models the relationships, habits and tends of the Royals. He's the only reason I like Celestia.
Do yourselves a favour - buckle up. This ride is gonna be awesome. *_*
Story 2? Waaat?!
ReplyDeleteAnd I won't be able to read it until tomorrow... I'd better not read it until tomorrow, I need at least some sleep.
WHERE DID WAYWARD KNIGHT GO?!
ReplyDeleteI was in the middle of reading that!
Heretics stories always seem to come and go >.>
Here's a blog post by the author:
ReplyDeleteNew Home
I know this isn't half as convenient as FiMFic, but I hope you'll all join me for the same old device heretic antics (as well as some new ones) here.
I won't lie--not that this is a surprise to anyone--I thrive on attention, and the idea that people are sticking with me helped motivate me all the way through "Eternal". So I hope those of you who are interested will stick with me as I start work on a new project...
Preliminarily entitled "The Wayward Knight".
Starlight Chaser's not dead yet, although Lyra'd be jealous of these hands she's got now...
the blog post is here:
http://www.fimfiction.net/user/device%20heretic
but I can't find the Wayard knight on the new site!
No! The Wayward Knight is being unponified! ARRRGH! Whywhywhy? Oh Device, of course you deserve to be recognized for your hefty talents, and Wayward should be yours alone instead of based on someone else's ideas, but...
ReplyDelete... but I loved this ponified Knight. I'm sorely disappointed. I'm going to have to simply move on I guess. However, I'm staying pony.
I wish you success. ;_;
This is my own description of this fic, for my personal archives. I hope it makes for a suitable review:
ReplyDelete"A sad, heart-wrenching tale of the relationship between Twilight and Celestia. A mix of adventure, sadness, sacrifice, culminating in a tear-draining happy ending. An emotional roller-coaster that at times felt *entirely* too long and drawn out, but the author's skill with words is unparalleled. So despite the long passages, it's still beautifully descriptive of *everything* and makes you feel like you're in the same room as the protagonists. Definitely highly recommended."
I feel honoured to have had the chance to read it all. You are incredibly talented, and I thank you so very much for sharing this fic with us all.
And now I see there's a second story...here we go again!