• Story: Envy



    [Sad] [Dark]

    Author: Hato F
    Description: The story of Nightmare Moon is simple, and everypony has heard it. It states that Luna became jealous of Celestia, and tried to overthrow her. But, as Luna takes the time to reflect back on her life, and tell her side of the story after a thousand years of solitude, what will come to be the real justification of her actions?

    Envy

    Additional Tags: First Person, Time Skip, Memories

    28 comments:

    1. What sexy man wrote this?

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    2. In my mind, nothing quite says "Soul crushingly depressing" like a Sad/Dark story :P

      Well, let's see.

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    3. First person? I haven't read a lot of those, and I think it'll stay like that. In other news, more sad Luna!

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    4. Woo, it's up. \o/

      Read this over on fimfiction. Lovely little story.

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    5. >demonizing and villainizing Celestia making her largely responsible for the birth of Nightmare Moon.

      This is a fairly well written story but No. Just no. When has Celestia ever been portrayed as anything but kind, caring, wise and somewhat playful on the show?

      Some of Luna's fans seem to be watching an entirely different show featuring a land where a cruel tyrant queen spends her time screwing her subjects and abusing her sister or something.

      Not to mention that it's been done to death.

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    6. @Hato F
      I don't know why but I find it kinda funny that you're the first post on your own fic, maybe I'm just easily amused.

      Getting back on topic, I haven't read the fic yet but the description certainly makes it sound very interesting, I'll definitely check it out as soon as I get the time.

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    7. Damn... I'm writing something similar right now but without the "I wanted everypony to love my night so I tried to kill them all out of mindless jealousy" bullshit. I need to write faster to publish before I'll end up as a total plagiarist.

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    8. @Mojo
      I hope that I'll please you ;)
      No good and evil, no tyrant and victims - "just" different opinions about most important matters. No middle ground possible. Both princesses caring deeply for their ponies but understanding their wellbeing in different ways, contradicting ways what's most important.

      Back to writing with new enthusiasm!

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    9. Eh, Celestia's characterisation didn't really make any sense, or at the very least it wasn't developed enough.
      Come to think of it, that is my overarching impression of this story. For a lot of things there is no real development, just... change.
      Example: Celestia and Luna are happy fillies. Suddenly, out of nowhere they defeat Discord, and Celestia becomes and uncaring politician instantly.
      The ending scene is especially bad in that regard. Basically, Luna just *says* "No more sun!", and suddenly zip zap boom straight to the moon. Without any real confrontation.
      Only Luna's feeling are somewhat developed over the course of the story, but even that falls a bit flat and doesn't match up with what's hinted at in the beginning.

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    10. ... this story is about as subtle as being conked with an anvil. I don't know, I'd have preferred a more delicate approach.

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    11. The whole, "Celestia is an evil tyrant that covered up history" is really old. The only thing that makes this story interesting for me was that it seemed like everything being told could be from a very unreliable narrator.

      For me, the best story I've read for how Nightmare Moon came about was 'Let Me Play Among the Stars', it had it so neither Luna nor Celestia was at fault for what happened, it just came about due to bad circumstances.

      But again, the thing that hurts this fic the most is how over done it is. If it had been written half a year ago then it could work or if it did something new with the concept but as it is now, it's just more of the same.

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    12. Better be a damn good story if it uses EquestriaPrevails artwork

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    13. #1 - that is EASILY the best "first" post in EQD comment history

      #2 - "How NMM came to be" stories have never interested me, to be honest.

      #3 - Luna: "Hey sis! I spent all day drawing a picture of you! Do ya like it?" Bitchlestia: "MOTHERFUCKER GET OUT MY FACE WIT DAT SHIT, WASSAMATTA WIT CHU?" Luna: "*sobs* imma spend weeks planning my revenge...ok time for revenge, NIGHTMARE MOON RAWR" Bitchlestia: "yawn, security?" Luna: "NOOOO NOT THE ELEMENTS! NEXT TIME GADGET! NEXT TIIIIIIIIIME!" Bitchlestia: "What's for dinner? I'm starved."

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    14. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    15. This is the first non shipping / grimdark story that I've actually enjoyed.

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    16. @Mojo said, "When has Celestia ever been portrayed as anything but kind, caring, wise and somewhat playful on the show?"

      When has following canon ever been a rule in fanfic creation?

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    17. The Author is in my clan! Great work! you all must read!

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    18. Hey, its me urb4d

      This sounds like a great read :)

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    19. @Maquabra

      Did you read this story?

      Celestia is quite clearly portrayed as uncaring and pretty unkind.

      and Luna is portrayed as whiny.

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    20. @Mojo said, "Celestia is quite clearly portrayed as uncaring and pretty unkind."

      Well, from Luna's perspective, Celestia might have seemed uncaring and unkind. Even in the show's introduction (which, I might point out, is narrated by Celestia), she seems pretty uncaring to Luna's concerns before she turned into NMM. Almost patronizing, really. Luna didn't just spontaneously turn into NMM. Something (I submit Celestia's attitude toward her) had to cause her to become angry and vengeful.

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    21. This is complete? It doesn't really make sense.
      The ending doesn't mesh with canon, how do the events of the series opener satisfy Luna's need for love?
      Why does Discord hoof over his kingdom and leave that scroll behind?
      And just why exactly would the guards just happen to have the Elements of Harmony right outside the doors?
      It does not seem complete.

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    22. @Sebiale said, "The ending doesn't mesh with canon."

      By definition, "fanfiction" implies non-canon.

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    23. I don't know how to pinpoint it exactly, but that fic didn't do it for me. Didn't get attached to the characters or anything. Thanks for trying though.

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