Author: (Insert Pen Name)
Description: Twilight and Co. set out to exact revenge on Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie for their latest round of pranks. Predictably, things do not go according to plan.The Best Laid Plans Part 1
The Best Laid Plans Part 2
The Best Laid Plans Part 3 (New!)
Additional Tags: Mishap, leads, to, accidental, shipping
99 kommentaari:
Looks good.
VastaKustutaAccidental shipping? Wat?
VastaKustutaWhy am I suddenly thinking about That 70s Show right now?
VastaKustuta@The Invincible
VastaKustutaSame here.... Good show though!
Going to read this, just because of the accidental shipping.
pretty short...
VastaKustutaoh, wait, incomplete.
I got a werid feeling about this....
VastaKustutaWait a minute...I don't read ships. CURSE THIS URGE TO COMMENT!
Hm, one 1 star and one 5 star rating?
VastaKustutaSeems like legit ratings.
...So this isn't Of Mice and Men with ponies?
VastaKustutaInb4 shipping and best LAID jokes
VastaKustuta@Scribejay
VastaKustutahell no.
also, do the authors actually write these this way or do the EQD pre-readers rip authors a new one till it comes out this descriptive?
The best laid plans
VastaKustutaO'mice and ponies
Gang afta gley.
Or something like that. That is seriously what I thought of when I saw the title.
And a "Of Mice and Men" crossover would just be depressing.
I think just saying ponies want to prank rainbow and pinkie is enough to get me reading lol....but now we got shipping which makes me wonder why im wasting my time typing this comment when i could be reading it right now!
VastaKustutaYou know, it seems that the lower initial rating a story gets, the more views it gets. I'm going to start 1-starring my own stuff 0_o
VastaKustutaRather interesting so far, but I can't wait to see how this prank actually works out.
VastaKustuta"Twilight shrugged."
VastaKustutaI understand how, but how.
well, i liked it, but for 3555 words, it sure seemed to drag on. A little bit over descriptive, imo, but maybe I'm just reading too much low grade fanfiction over at fimfiction.
VastaKustutaAwwwww! I was really getting into the story when it ended! More! Now! Please!
VastaKustuta"What could possibly go wrong?"
VastaKustuta*Facehoofs* Oh come on Twilight, I thought you were smarter than that.
(っ◕‿◕)っ Yay
VastaKustutaThat first chapter was actually good, can't wait for more.
VastaKustutaTitle is channeling "To a Mouse" by Robert Burns? That's pretty ballsy of you, writer; only one other story I can think of did that, and it happens to be one of the most famous books ever written. I automatically have high expectations for this. I'll get back on this fanfic.
VastaKustuta1 Star trolls are ALMOST as bad as unemployed trolls who will honest to God follow a story for 20 buckin' chapters for the sole purpose of ragging on it. Those kinds of parasprites need to be eaten by an ursa minor and be made into glittering bear crap... So they won't stink as bad.
VastaKustutaI will definitely read this story and will happily give it a fair chance! I find also, that the stories that get trolled the hardest are the ones I enjoy the most. Past Sins was epically awesome!
I guess haters are just jealous they don't have the skills to flaunt themselves! Haters gonna hate! B|
Title is channeling "To a Mouse" by Robert Burns? That's pretty ballsy of you, writer; only one other story I can think of did that, and it happens to be one of the most famous books ever written. I automatically have high expectations for this. I'll get back on this fanfic.
VastaKustutaWhen I saw the (Ignore Star Rating), I couldn't help but look. There was 69 ratings.
VastaKustutaThe "MOAR" can not express my want.
VastaKustutaI have to say, I quite enjoyed this! Though - being a writer myself - I noticed quite a few errors in the dialogue scenes (Twilight seems to have quite the fondness of "smiling" words), the plot was quite decent and the jokes were generally enjoyable. Everypony seems to be in character, and the writing is quite well done in description and even action sequences.
VastaKustutaThough this isn't a crossover of "Of Mice and Men" like I was secretly hoping, this is very well done. If I were in the position to, I'd give this a solid 5/5 stars. Keep at it. I look forward to the next chapter!
Oh Twilight, don't you know to never say such a thing? Tsk tsk tsk.
VastaKustuta@Ryonne
VastaKustutaAn "Of Mice and Men" crossover? Oh dear Lord... That could be... problematic. Put Fluttershy in George's place at the end of the book for example...
"And I get t' take care o' the rabbits?"
"Y-yes, Lennie, you do get to take care of the rabbits..." *aims gun, shakily*
Oh wow, this was really good, want moar NOW.
VastaKustutaThe star bomb sucks, and I've heard it's just for having a shipping tag, but there are a couple things that are really bothering me about this already.
VastaKustutaYou do this type of thing constantly: “Oh come on, Rarity.” said Twilight
When it should be: “Oh come on, Rarity,” said Twilight
It's jarring, and it happens every other line of dialogue. I've noticed some words spelled in a British fashion, but while I'm using American-English style guides, I still cannot find any instances in my regular books where this format is used. (Lord of the Rings being my easiest reference here)
And as pointed out above, you've got a lot of questionable attribution verbs. e.g. "Me and Fluttershy.” nodded Rarity
To say nothing of Rarity's incorrect grammar there, nodded is not a "speaking" verb. In this instance, you'd do better to reverse the words and end up with
“Me and Fluttershy.” Rarity nodded. “Got us both with a thoughtful box of hot-sauce filled chocolates.”
Style wise, you'd do far better to just use "Soandso said" in almost every case, as your dialogue and narrative are good enough that we know how they're behaving/reacting without giving us a particularly "telly" word or phrase, such as:
"Count me in as well, Twilight.” said Rarity eagerly. “Just because I am a lady doesn’t mean those two should have all the fun.”
You've set the scene up well enough to have us understand that Rarity here is already eager. Telling us that she said this eagerly is just beating us over the head with it in a quite unnecessary fashion.
I hope that this doesn't come off as aggressive as it probably reads--these are all minor problems that are just prevalent throughout the story thus far, all of which are easy to fix. The story itself is amusing, even if I'm having flashbacks of reading about Polyjuice potions from HP.
But the attribution tags are driving me to distraction, and I probably wouldn't read another chapter if I'd end up stumbling across them as frequently as they're presented in this first chapter.
@The Invincible
VastaKustutaHehe I was thinking the same thing.
"What could possibly go wrong?"
VastaKustutaFamous last words.
Interesting... Well I hope this updates soon. This honestly looked like the sort of story that could fit into a one-shot so leaving us hanging is rather cruel and all.
VastaKustutaBut it was well written. So nice job there.
@wackypony
VastaKustutahttp://img843.imageshack.us/img843/1236/480pxtwilightshrug.png
@Vurtax
VastaKustutaI actually dived into this thinking it was a one-shot!
Argh, caught myself into waiting. I never try to start reading new stories until I'm done with my backlog, but this looks too fun to pass up.
@DJnickbeta
VastaKustutaI think low ratings attract me somewhat because i go like "is it really THAT bad? gotta have a look" :p
Hm, this doesn't seem like a shipfic. Sounds fun anyway!
VastaKustutaI'm interesting on how things will wrap up in this one. Looking forward to the next part.
VastaKustutaWhat's wrong with star ratings recently? Well, I guess I have to ignore them completely and read everything that sounds interesting. Even if it means sacrificing such minor needs as sleeping and working to have enough time.
VastaKustutaAnyway, the first chapter was very decent. It's hard to judge in which direction the story will go, but the setup got me interested.
@Shantara:
VastaKustutaAny story marked with a shipping tag gets hit with at least 30 1-star ratings from someone who hates shipping and has nothing better to do. Seth's finally fighting back.
Nice job so far, looking for more!
VastaKustutaCLIFFHANGER!
VastaKustutaI am intrigued. Moar please.
VastaKustutaI am pleasantly surprised that the author wrote the correct "codices" instead of the incorrect "codexes". That's the first time I've seen that correctly used.
VastaKustutaYes, I actually care about that. xD
At any rate, hilarious fic xD I wish there were more of it xD
I really want to know how it can be labelled "accidental shipping" too...
I'm kind of curious about the star-bombing, and the 5-star equivalency granted.
VastaKustutaI agree that if the score was driven by 1-star ratings, that the story deserves better. There's nothing here that merits that. Overall quality is at least good. And people who just reject this sort of comedy, have enough in the description not to read it.
But I'm not seeing that a 4-star "Really liked it" average is inappropriate either. The writing is a little jarring sometimes. (For exsample, "said door") Characterizations are not always spot-on. Twilight should need more reason to get that mad. And the plot is somewhat forced. Could anyone seriously think that Pinkie Pie can be taught a lesson this way?
It's not that I'm not liking and enjoying the story, but I do expect better from 5-star material. But maybe that's the problem, and 5-star is just customarily used for enjoyable stories. I've often decided not to give a story a 3-star "Liked" or 4-star rating, on the grounds that's so far below the average rank.
How are the ratings meant to work?
sud be exited to read more.
VastaKustutaTurning RD into Pinkie Pie, an Earth Pony, whilst she's sleeping in a cloud home? That can't end well.
VastaKustutaThen again, it is Pinkie Pie...
With only one chapter, I'll hold off on judgement. the story is just getting started, after all. didn't anyone learn from the bridle gossip episode?
VastaKustutaI tease :3
I hope more arrives soon, so that we may better discern how well it is written. Also silly pinkie and dash antics too. those help XD
Autor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.
VastaKustutaLet me try that again. This is what I MEANT to say:
VastaKustuta((insert Rarity whining here)) WHY isn't this on FIMfiction? *weeping* ((end Rarity whining))
Okay, off to read it now. XD
@Present Perfect
VastaKustutaStar bombing or not I don't think awarding it an automatic Star-5 rating is appropriate either. This rating is not based on what READERS think, but what the EQD staff think. It defeats the purpose of the rating system if they are just going to ignore it and archive it as whatever they like.
Not saying that Seth and the crew have no right to fight back against this star bombing, but this story only merits a 4 star rating at best.
It's good, but it's not on the level I and a few others here have mentioned to be appropriate for 5 stars.
I liked the set-up, but I'm reserving judgement until more chapters are published.
VastaKustuta@FamusJamus
VastaKustutaIt only affects their mane and body colors.
@DPV111 Oh yeah...
VastaKustutaHerp.
(“Oh come now, Fluttershy, it’ll be fun.” said Rarity sweetly. “And you are the best pony for..)
VastaKustuta"And you are the best pony...
best pony
Fluttershy, best pony
i see what you did there...
“To the Book-Cave!”
VastaKustutaI swear I expected a spinning logo and the old Batman theme to appear when I read that.
This looks good! I'll be following this one...
This is a fast pced & intriguing read. Looking forward to more.
VastaKustutathe one think I dislike about this ship is that it might not end with Pinkie and Dash together
VastaKustuta:(
(yeah, I know that that's immaterial. Great fic over all, and chapter two seemed ever better writing-wise then chapter 1)
Rule #1 when making any sort of recipe, Check the page numbers.
VastaKustutaOkay, while I enjoyed this new chapter especially for the comedy elements. Nice cliffhanger as well. I can't help but express my thoughts on one thing.
VastaKustutaEvery other fic with shipping in it always seems to have forced LyraBon (when it has nothing to do with them) and it's getting old. As if they're some kind of De Facto Lesbian couple or something and they have a contract where they must appear in 50% of shipfics or else.
And honestly, though I liked the chapter their appearance in this one was obtrusive.
That is all.
THE BOX O_O
VastaKustutaI think Spike had the right reaction to this whole situation.
VastaKustutaStill loving this so far!
You can't remove page 184 but leave page 183. Assuming Equestrian books are numbered and bound like ours - the opening of the pilot Episode suggests that they are.
VastaKustutaThe spell should be on an even numbered page (which is on the left side in a Western-style book) and the recipe on an odd numbered page.
“Hello there, girls!” said the mare cheerfully.
VastaKustuta“Hey Derpy.” they all answered in unison.
“How are things going?” asked Derpy Hooves.
“Bad.” answered Twilight before she could stop herself.
“Why bad?”
Anypony else see a south park reference? xD
@Kilrha A better question might be "Who didn't get the South Park reference?" :P
VastaKustuta(Thinging about it, there may be more than expected...)
Poor Fluttershy though.
Time to bring the box. I wonder what's in it...
VastaKustutaOH SHI-- not....THE BOX!!!
VastaKustuta@Vurtax
That's because they ARE 'some kind of De Facto Lesbian couple'. It's basically what fanon has wrought, just like Derpy/Ditzy being a malemale with a daughter named Dinky, Applejack and Carrot Top being heated rivals, and Scootaloo having either one or no parents.
@blackseven
VastaKustutaActually, I have read and own some books that are odd-paged like the one described.
Fantastic story so far! I loved reading this and can't wait for part 3!
VastaKustutaI really don't like the sexual orientation references in this though... I don't mind the main plot of this, just the not-potion caused stuff. Other than that fantastic story!
@Melodia
VastaKustutaWell that's something that's wrong with the fanon that just because they appear in the background together sometimes people think they're a couple. And no fic I've read where they're in it despite it not being about them has ever made them feel actually apart of the fic rather than some forced tacked on element just to go "LOOK HOW LESBIAN WE ARE"
Sorry for referencing family guy but it's the only thing I could think of.
I am sitting here with the goofiest grin right now...
VastaKustuta@Vurtax Some of the stories starring the pair are amazing. But yes, I agree with you, they are simply a plot device in many fics.
VastaKustutaIn this one, the author used them to:
1. Take a pause from the conversation of the 4 others.
2. Increase awareness within the plot that the public is seeing RD+PP.
3. Make a joke (about Fluttershy).
4. Raise the topic of the other ponies' sexual orientation.
The author used a lesbian couple because the plot device required two conversationalists, and can you imagine a heterosexual couple saying: "Aw, they're so cute?"
He could have used any two mares, but instead of leaving them nameless he chose two names that are widely accepted in fanon as a female couple.
So what I'm saying is that the reason they have no characteristics other than being gay (at least in this story, maybe not necessarily in others) is because they're being used as a plot device for that exact reason.
I would like a link please.
VastaKustutaPart 3 isn't linked...?
VastaKustutaHooray, another blog derp. At least it reminds us that robots haven't corrupted everyone's minds.
...right?
fixed! my bad
VastaKustutaHoly crap, I'm reading part 3 right now, and man, is it a heartwrencher. I've never seen mind spells, and their effect on how people view their own emotions, displayed so powerfully. It's real.
VastaKustutaAlright, third chapter! Quick thoughts...
VastaKustuta- Doctor Who reference for the win. Are you my mummy?
- I ought to find An Exhaustive and Detailed Study of the Buoyant Qualities of Small Rocks. Really...drink in that information, if you catch my drift.
- Pinkie...literally broke THROUGH a wall (or...door). Not necessarily the fourth wall, but the same spirit nonetheless. I am impressed.
- And that ending is so full of d'aww, I love it! A sweet friendshipping fic, nice and light-hearted - just how I love it.
Great end for a great fic.
VastaKustutaJust wish we could have seen the original version of the prank play out :)
why did you have to try sounding smart with the word codex? It's not like it matters, but just for historical accuracy (since that might be one of the biggest things that annoy me about fan-fics) a codex was used in the Roman era. They had writing on one side of the paper, and were written on paper often bound with wood. Please, use a more common word like "tome", "text", or even (Celestia forbid) "Book".
VastaKustutaIt's just distracting.
Sorry if this sounds too bitchy.
Seth, seriously, stop that "start rating problem" thing, it's just a shipping fanfic, you're paranoid.
VastaKustutaLolz, Dear Celestia, this is a good read, and I'm only 1/2 a chapter in! Bestow some stars upon this piece!
VastaKustutanice doctor who reference in chapter 3 if it is one...
VastaKustutaThe best Laid Plans. I see what you did there
VastaKustutathis was good
VastaKustutaI saw that Halo reference. :P
VastaKustutaI'm going to start counting the times Pinkie said "Rainbow" or "Dash" or "Rainbow Dash" in the actual series and compare them to the number of times she said "Dashie"; I don't know about you, but I find its constant use in fanfics distracting.
VastaKustutaI hope you have more in the storage.
VastaKustuta@*Xatz*
VastaKustutaNo dude, YOU stop.
This whole thing with the ratings bombs started when one or a group of people began automatically disseminating mass 1 star voted to ANY fic with a shipping tag that was posted.
Just check the ratings/comments of ANY fic posted this year.
@Nickel Gunner
VastaKustutaPretty sure Rainbow Dash is only called Dashie once by Pinkie and RD once by AJ.
Decent enough story, but I found the ending disappointing. >> Ah well.
VastaKustuta@DPV111 So we should respond by auto-5 staring them. Got ya.
VastaKustuta@Mist Skye
VastaKustutaWell, that's up to you.
I wouldn't.
I'll just rate whatever I would normally.
If the fic gets obviously starbombed Seth will auto rate it 5 stars anyway.
Nice job indeed :)
VastaKustutaWorth the read defiantly.
Woohoo!
VastaKustutaI expected it to be a bit longer but it's a fine fic anyhow. Nicely done.
This story was good, I enjoyed it, that is all.
VastaKustutaRainbow has relations with all ponies D:
VastaKustutaGive ALL the stars!!!!
VastaKustutaThat little story was fun, thanks for sharing :-)
VastaKustutaWell, that was quite fun! It felt like what an average MLP episode would be like if it wasn't exclusively a kids show. ^__^
VastaKustuta