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Author: CouchCrusader
Description: Little Rainbow Dash is loyal to one pony and one pony only: herself. It's a simple system, and it gets her through the days. But that all changes one stormy summer afternoon at flight camp, when another pegasus blunders into her life--a pegasus with whom she shares nothing in common.Wingmares
Additional Tags: Long, Rainbowshy, It's, Not, Shipping
72 kommentaari:
"It's, Not, Shipping"
VastaKustutaNot sure if trap.. will read and report back.
First?
VastaKustuta'NOT SHIPPING'?
VastaKustutaOn the novelty of that alone, I must read this.
"It's, Not, Shipping "
VastaKustuta*abandons ship* oh, wait. <.<
Whatever, looks like an okay story.
VastaKustutaHey! Tag-Not shipping. Added to list. *yay*
VastaKustutaI'm obviously first.
VastaKustutaso close to first T_T
VastaKustuta@Nichon No, it's not shipping, otherwise the [Shipping] tag would be shown.
VastaKustutahe's not kidding about long... >.>
VastaKustutaNOT SHIPPING?
VastaKustuta... The author knows what the people want.
Gawd... No pony cares if u r first! Plz do us all a favor and post a relevant comment you wannabes! * read first couple of sentences, looks good*
VastaKustuta@Jelfes
VastaKustutaShipping is by itself in tags. Obviously a trap for shipping haters. Only a fool would take the bait. I find ship nice myself.
How could it not be shipping, please.
VastaKustutaIt's rather pathetic that the sole purpose of so many of these comments is to be the first...
VastaKustutaI'm not sure if I'll read this, base if I will on the comments. The story sounds as though it is set up for shipping, yet it's not shipping. I wish the author luck in their endeavour to make the story work!
maybe it's friendshipping?
VastaKustutaJelfes, it is rather pathetic that the sole purpose of some comments to be about the inclusion or exclusion of a certain tag. ;-; If shipping is or isn't your thing, fine, but don't go hating or praising something for having or not having it.
VastaKustuta@Wento
VastaKustutathen it'd have a Friendship tag.
@wackypony
VastaKustuta@Jelfes
Just read it and quit the dumb comments
61 pages, my word that is long. I'm interested though, i'll give this a read when i'm more awake. It's too long for me right now.
VastaKustutaI've had the pleasure of reading this, and I can't praise it enough. The writing itself is impeccable, and the story is wonderfully executed. So. Much. Daw.
VastaKustutaI bawled like a foal for half of this damn fic, and giggled like a madpony for the rest. It's both clever and believable and expands on Fluttershy and Dash's past in a manner that could all too easily snake its way to headcanon-land.
I don't want to say more for fear of spoiling, but if the premise sounds at all interesting, you owe it to yourself to read this.
@Shadow Heart That is ironic. Perhaps there are more pressing matters I have to attend to that may restrict the time I have for all this pony, however much I may want to read it, I simply do not have the time right now, especially with the size of this fic.
VastaKustuta@Jelfes
VastaKustutaNot my problem. Nor does it matter to me. Just stop posting pointless comments.
Hey guys,
VastaKustutaThe link I sent Seth accidentally skips you ahead from the start of the story by one or two pages. Scroll up and you'll see a table of contents, where I've broken the fic into five chapters with bookmarks for later viewing.
Or, just use this link here. Better link!
@Shadow Heart
VastaKustutahow about no? you do what you want, i do what i want. which is cry myself to sleep over the amount of homework i have due. ;-;
@Shadow Heart The irony, it is too great to handle. Please, just stop trolling the comments.
VastaKustutaMy prayers have been answered. Rainbow Dash fic and its's not shipping :D
VastaKustutathis is well-written. I think it'll be getting higher ratings when people decide to read further in.
VastaKustuta@CouchCrusader Oh, excellent, I will be able to read this! I didn't see there were chapters until you mentioned it.
VastaKustutaMY CABBAGES!
VastaKustutaYou...you little...thought you'd just subtly add that in your story, eh?!
You can't escape fate, no matter where you go or what you turn into.
Lawl at additional tags. Hooray for non-shipping Dash!
VastaKustutaInteresting...
VastaKustutaSeth just changed the link so that it properly sends you to the beginning. Happy reading!
VastaKustutaI'm only into the first 5 pages so far, but...
VastaKustutaIs it so wrong that I want to read Dash's solo run in the voice of Jeremy Clarkson?
"And across the line!"
You could tag this as friendshipping, maybe?
VastaKustutaI had the pleasure of seeing this written and I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone. It's well written and wonderfully entertaining throughout.
VastaKustutaThe only other thing I can think of is this: I've read through all 60 pages at least three times in the past week alone, and I'm still not tired of it.
If that doesn't convince you to give it a shot, I don't know what will.
@Hagilit was 60 pages? Read way too quickly.
VastaKustutaCouchCrusader, everything in the fic was normal and expected. What made your story special was that one meaningful scene where Fluttershy pretends to be someone she's not. The mood and quality (it felt like) shifted right there.
Damn that was good. New head-canon good. As in, I-will-hold-a-grudge-forever-if-the-writing-staff-doesn't-adopt-this-as-truth good.
VastaKustutaBy Celestia, I really need to get off my flank and write my own freaking story.
Long story. Excellent according to two commenters. Novelty of not being shipping. Intriguing summary paragraph.
VastaKustutaGood gosh, I HATE homework right now.
@Eaglelander
VastaKustuta61 if you count the author's note, but that's new. First time I read that was today.
Are you saying you read through it in just under two hours? Good lord man. That's at least 170 WPM.
@Hagil
VastaKustutaI can generally read 15k words an hour. Survival tactic of English majors everywhere, to humblebrag.
@Hagil Well...I guess I did? Dunno, when the writing is great, the reading is smooth. I think I read it in 15 min...and I read it again cause it was pretty thought-provoking.
VastaKustutaSorry, cause I don't mean to brag...
Hey CouchCrusader, formal critique:
I don't care for technical errors, and I never found any. The Flash (is this name usable?) friendship developed well, and the small details such as FShy being way larger than Dash and intervening for her...! It set the story apart.
One thing...there seems to be a gap between the ending and the epilogue in Ponyville...thought Rainbow would be more sad/worried that FShy went missing.
Thanks for an awesome friendshipping fic
Sounds like a cool story. Will read.
VastaKustuta@CouchCrusader I'm really hoping you guys are just really fast readers, because there's no way I'd ever keep up with that. Oh well, I only read for pleasure anyway.
VastaKustuta@Eaglelander All I can say is I can't imagine reading at that pace. 20,000+ words in 15 minutes is mind blowing. Possibly boring too, I wouldn't think a book would keep you entertained long at that rate. Even if you read it more than once.
Just finished reading the whole thing. It's sweet. Not only that but it is a beautifully written expanded account of events that took place in the show. I cannot recommend this enough! 5/5 for me.
VastaKustuta@Hagil errr...heh? :/
VastaKustutaI'm trying to find the words to express how well written this story was. The best I can come up with is "phenomenal." It's very believable, fits the two focus characters quite well, and segues beautifully into the moment in "Cutie Mark Chronicles" where Rainbow tells of how she got her cutie mark. Don't know about the rest of you, but I chewed this up in a little under an hour. Then again, I can chew up a book in a day if I really wanted to. But I digress. Five stars all around.
VastaKustutaExcellent story with plot that fits perfectly with the actual story. Has a bit of shipping, and though I generally do not like shipping, I think it adds just the right touch to this story.
VastaKustutaPretty fricken cool!!!
VastaKustutaGreat story!!!
Just finished. That was probably the nest story I've ever read, and I loved it! Great Job!
VastaKustutaThis is a really good story. I like how and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy came to have a close friendship.
VastaKustutaI really couldn't think of anything to write.
@Quackers
VastaKustutaYou're perfectly all right. That you even left two lines for me to read there is more than I could ever ask for. Thank you, and everyone above you, for reading.
>It's, Not, Shipping
VastaKustuta-Neither is it Ketchup or real Butter ! Unbelievable ! (in fact it's Catsup and Margarine)
Ooh. Damn my limited time to read fics right now. If this is anywhere near as good a AFotE I MUST READ... eventually...
VastaKustutaPS: Write new chapter nao.
@DPV111
VastaKustutaDo yourself a favor and just read this. I'm stuck on Fire at the moment, and I've even broken this into chapters for bite-sized digestion.
Thank you for your patience ;__;
I had the privilege of getting to watch as this story was written, and I can't stop reading it over and over again. I can't believe it consisted of as many pages as it does. It feels a lot shorter, but maybe it's because I really like it so much.
VastaKustutaCouch Crusader captures the characters so well. I always wanted a believable story of how these two met and became friends, especially considering their different personalities. I laughed, I D'AWWWWWWed... This totally goes into my head canon =]
Also, "MY CABBAGES!"
I.
VastaKustutaLove.
It.
Incredibly cute and well written one-shot. Regardless of tag or no, this was some of the best friendshipping I've read.
VastaKustutaAwesome fanfic. The friendshipping between Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy is D'AWWWW! And the level of detail during the flight scenes is high quality--almost kinda reminds me of Moonspire Run.
VastaKustuta"...It happened again. Just when I thought I’d gotten away from it all. It happened again.” The luckless stallion sank to his knees, and a single tear traced the curve of his quivering cheek. “My cabbages..."
VastaKustutaYou've been watching Avatar, haven't you? xD
...Nichon never came back.
VastaKustutaWhat the hell happened to him?
And everypony had a wingboner- exept for Fluttershy
VastaKustutaThis one was really good. Really, really good. Reminds me a lot of Junior Speedsters Forever, only about Fluttershy and Dash rather than Dash and Gilda. All of my stars.
VastaKustutaI finally had time to read this due to a slow day at work. And it was freakin beautiful. I really love the younger versions of the Mane 6 form the Cutie Mark Chronicles. 5 Stars for friendshipping and D'Aww and keeping the characters really IC.
VastaKustutaI do have conflicted feelings on the preening scene. I think it was incredibly well written and some of the most tender, squee-worthy pony D'Aww I have ever had the privilege to read.
I also felt that it didn't properly fit in with the rest of the story as well as it could. The scene itself was fine it's just the emotional and introspective way in which the scene is presented is too noticeably jarring a departure from the surrounding story's flow, tone and characterization. The preening makes sense but a semi-steamy massage doesn't quite fit. (I do really really love it though. I. LOVE. IT.)
It's ironic. It's the exact same immersion issue I had with the only other "young Dash's 1st Rainboom" story I've read (Which is my favorite short ponyfic of all time).
@DPV111
VastaKustutaI'm really glad someone finally commented on the preening scene! I am a huge sucker for physical contact (such that, even if it is "only" a 4 star fic, Pain in the Tail is one of my favorite fics), and I argued with myself for the longest time that I was only making Fluttershy preen Dash's wings for my own gratification. Plus, add to that that they're fillies, and suddenly the implications come rolling in.
Then I decided I was writing this story for myself, and I said "to hell with the haters, I'm including it." I have no regrets on that part. A couple of people even told me in private that they enjoyed that scene immensely. Finally, I figured that the preening would give Rainbow Dash an edge in the race if I lost all other plausibility for being there.
The scene definitely comes from nowhere, I'll admit!
Thank you, as always, for reading.
Yeah, the preening scene was very heartwarming and amazingly well done. I could imagine the whole thing in my mind. And you kept the scene strictly friendshipping; I didn't see any "implications" while I was reading it. I enjoyed it, and I'm glad you decided to include it.
VastaKustutaI wish there was a "NSFW: May cause manly tears of manliness" warning in the pre-reader... Excellent work.
VastaKustuta@Eaglelander
VastaKustutaThis is a really late reply, but I really appreciate the feedback you provided! Yeah, in my head, Rainbow Dash would do everything she could to track down Fluttershy after she left camp, but my headcanon has her living somewhere not a whole lot of ponies know about.
Thinking back on it -- I could definitely expand the ending a little there to give Dash some time to look around for Fluttershy before the counselors take her away. We'll see.
Omg, I loved it so. Such a cute ending.
VastaKustutaAmazing story, I feel that romance is used too much by ponyfic writers as a crutch to justify development between characters. I love in when a story shows strong bonds being created without ending in "and then they kissed and became lezbeans", the love between friends can be just as deep that of lovers.
VastaKustutaAlso kudos for that Avatar:TLA reference.
Okay... first off, you are definitely a good writer. I had some concerns at first, but your writing style actually improved as the story progressed.
VastaKustutaFor my opinion of the ending race scene in your story I have to quote the comment you made on mine: "This is how you write action, goddammit!" Nicely paced and very engaging. Great tie-ins with the show without taking too many artistic liberties, too.
The only major issue I had was length. Not overall length, but the length of some of the scenes. I found myself drifting off a bit in the earlier parts (but in your defense I do have a lot of shiny objects in my living room ;P). The first two chapters dragged at times, but you made up for it later. Big time.
If I were to note a couple minor critiques, they would be regarding the bits of thesaurus roulette at times; word usage that wasn't wrong or contextually unintelligible, but overly flowery words and passages that seemed to be trying too hard and pulled me out of the story. Also, the dialogue kinda ran on at times, continuing after you made your point. Again, mostly at the beginning but then pretty much not at all at the end.
The preening scene was written exceptionally well. The sensory description was outstanding. Even though the scene seemed a bit out of nowhere, I'm glad you included it; it showed off some real writing talent.
Equally nice, in my opinion, was the idea of the double sunrise. It added an ethereal depth to a life amongst the clouds that I hadn't thought about before. It made me think, which is exactly what good writing should do.
And... 'My cabbages'... I actually laughed out loud. Actually. That rarely happens to me when reading.
Characterizations were excellent, especially Fluttershy. You played with her personality levels quite nicely. Story was solid, if a bit slow to get into, but it had both physical and intangible barriers that meshed well.
So, overall I give the first couple chapters 4/5, the third 5/5, and the last two 6/5.
5/5 overall.Loved it.
I saw you mention some other stuff you're working on at the end, and I will definitely check it out. And thanks again for commenting on mine!
This has been sitting in my browser for months during the time where I really haven't read much any fanfic, but after finally getting around to it, I'm very glad I saved it.
VastaKustutaThis was a fantastic story, and very close to my personal head-canon. The writing was superb, especially the descriptions. The way Fluttershy and Dash interacted was great; their character dynamics presented very well. If there were any downsides to this story, it would be that it actually felt a little two short.
6/5, and I wish the rating above reflected that.