[Comedy] Cereal derped the link, so here you go!
Old comments can be found here if you want to copy paste over.
Author: Squeejee
Description: Growing up is a long, hard process.Snails' Big Problem
Additional Tags: I'm ashamed for writing this.
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40 comments:
Um ...
ReplyDeleteThe link appears to be broken.
ReplyDeleteIt should be good!
ReplyDeleteinteresting
ReplyDeleteWhoa comments raped.
ReplyDeleteStory:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CdVLn5Hm49v2YrkYzipP8J-H49H5zLnZMBzUgbz-pro/edit?hl=en_US
[REPOST]
ReplyDeleteA fun read, although the embarrassment was so easy to relate to that is was quite HARD to get through this story.
Yeah, I'll just go away now.
Never mind, it has become unbroken. As you were.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, I remember what my comment was last time!
ReplyDeleteI have never felt more uncomfortable reading a fanfic, but it's the hilarious kind of uncomfortable, and entirely due to sympathy. The scene with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon tipped this into 5-star territory for me.
I said it on the last set, and I'll say it on this one.
ReplyDeleteI didn't like the story, and voted accordingly. I also think it should not have been posted, but understand that it is only my opinion.
Looks like all the troll raters went away.
ReplyDeleteI almost hesitated to NOT read from the initial post comments, but I read it anyway.
ReplyDeleteGlad to say that I'm not regretting that decision.
Anyway, the story's OK for short story. It's something guys (who are both *ehem* and who are not D:) can really relate to, and, whatever your *ehem* is, it's really embarrassing to be found out in the middle of classroom for whatever reason. (Trust me, ladies. It's more embarrassing if a man's like Snails)
Not to mention, Snails had to deal with it, naked.
Though it's almost there, it's not EXACTLY 5 in my books. I think it's because of the ending. Something about it just didn't vibe with me great, so don't hate me for not giving it a 5. Also, the image was a bit misleading, too. Guess there's too much Twist X Snails to go around that Seth had to settle for what he had.
Interested. Will read.
ReplyDeleteMeh. Just, meh. Given that it really establishes no story or character growth (oooooh, I hate MYSELF for that pun... >.< ) I don't really see why it needed to be written, much less posted on EqD. Save this for FanFiction.net or such.
ReplyDelete(Repost)
ReplyDeleteWhat has been read, can't be unread. ._.
I will say again, props to Snips for being a cool friend.
ReplyDeleteI'll DROP whatever BALL jokes I want, and if that makes me look like a DICK, that's fine. I don't want people SUCKING up to me anyway.
ReplyDelete...
PENIS. I just thought I'd say that in case the innuendo wasn't obvious enough. Believe me, there are probably people out there who didn't even notice it.
yay, now we;ll let the story have a good chance of actually being read instead of everyone 1* bombing it
ReplyDeleteIdk what this fic is aboutyet, but I'm guessing it's gonna be LONG and HARD to read...
ReplyDeleteHmm...mixed feelings about this one. To say I think it's in poor taste would be an understatement, but it IS funny, albeit in a grimace-along-with-them sort of way. The ending didn't give as much resolution as I'd hoped, but I really liked Snails' Dad. Hit and miss, but overall this wasn't nearly as bad as I feared it would be.
ReplyDelete*reads description* I FUCKING SEE WHAT YOU FUCKING DID THERE
ReplyDeleteBrilliant. This is brilliant.
ReplyDeleteFunny, witty and well written all around. It manages to transition from farce to heartwarming almost seamlessly. I'm sure the subject matter might cause concern, but in my opinion it never crossed the line into genuine bad taste.
Additionally:
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, Snails, you'll have the last laugh in a few years, when all dem fillies are asking you if you're, like, doing anything Friday night or something...
Not every story needs character growth. Sometimes, a little episode in a character's life is worth experiencing. 4 Stars.
ReplyDeletePENIS
That was funny xD Although I'm kinda curious as to why you used a Twist x Snails pic for it.
ReplyDeleteAlright, sorry if this comment seems long, but I figured it's best to start at the point and work my way down. No beating around the bush here, I'm going to come in strong and hard:
ReplyDeleteI like how you characterize Snails, and you really get the feeling of being a child in this sort of situation. It's very easy to sympathize with him (I assume more for the male viewers than the female?), and I kinda like the view that Snails is just bad at expressing himself and kinda lazy rather than just stupid. Snips was a bro here.
The only real problem I see here is that there's no really much of a story told. It's a funny incident followed by a rather sweet one, all told in a very realistic style, but it doesn't feel totally cohesive or 'finished', if you will. Honestly, it feels a little like it's the second or third chapter from a longer, chaptered story. As a one shot, it doesn't work terribly well, but if you were to add more to it, this is easily a 5, 6 star story.
Or in other words...
The only problem is the length of the matter. The girth of the storyline is fine, and you're really skilled, but it doesn't quite make up for the disappointing size. Straighten up a bit and spend a little quality time working on it, and I'm sure you could reach a climax that will satisfy everyone.
At first I thought this would be awful. I don't tolerate clop. I'm not a prude, but even "good" clop like Romance Reports is nothing but gratuitous sexualization in my eyes. This wasn't, though. It's both quite funny and well characterized. 4/5.
ReplyDelete@Hydra in a Top Hat
ReplyDeleteStand up is such a hard sell. That was a little limp.
@Peter
ReplyDeleteI didn't really see it as clop, though. There was nothing about it that was in any way erotic or titillating. To me it's more in the vein of teen comedy.
Poor Snails, thank god we came up with cloths.
ReplyDeleteI just couldn't read this thing all the way through in one shot.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure I changed tabs like ten times. And I know I said "What the fuck am I reading?" to myself way more than ten times.
Also, “You're mother's worried about you.” You're should be your. There were one or two other little typos, but whatever.
...4/5. Very good. A bit slow near the end.
@pmcollectorboy
ReplyDeleteNo need to be so stiff with me; this is a hard crowd.
So...
ReplyDeleteSnails' Voice Actor...
Is Inuyasha's Voice Actor...
HEy thought I would let you know I loved this little one shot. You've got one hell of a funny bone mister.
ReplyDeleteI really like slice-of-life stories like this. It doesn't matter if there isn't much character development to me, as long as the story's all-around entertaining.
ReplyDeleteWhat really had me in stitches, though, were the Google Doc comments that users left at the end. My poor gut received a rather unhealthy amount of laughter, but it was totally worth it. ^^
With that adorable pic, I was expecting Snails' interest to be in Twist.
ReplyDeleteAh well, the story was still adorable as well, though the end was a bit... ambiguous. Was it the cute ending I first assumed, where Applebloom realizes that the... incident... was a manifestation of his budding romantic interest in her, or was it the alternate disturbing one that occurred to me later, where she was actually interested directly in his, well, physical assets...
I'm hoping it was the first. 0_0
Based on comments... yeah I know exactly what this story is about, and man alive is that just the WEIRDEST mental image. I'm gunna need some mind soap and steel wool, with a long night ahead of me to rid myself of... man alive, thing that make you go 'uuUuuUuuugh'...
ReplyDeleteNow the question is, do I read it for the promise of clever comedy or just dip now and save myself the scrubbing?
Bwhahahahaha, awesome.
ReplyDeleteAll things considered, surprisingly sympathetic "puberty is hell" story. (Yes, ladies, EVERY MALE ALIVE has had a similar awkward situation at one time or other.) The bit with Snail's father was very well done, and was masterfully subtle.
ReplyDeleteI think the resolution was a bit too quick, though. Here on planet earth, such an incident would be grounds for social torment for WEEKS. And the reaction to Snail's--- er, reaction--- would have involved a bit of grossed-out scorn, especially by the girls.
It does beg the question of how such biological embarrassments are handled socially... after all, the "problem" doesn't exactly just go away with puberty...
I'm very surprised this doesn't have a higher rating. I enjoyed it! Short, simple, and funny :D
ReplyDeleteFive stars!
Deserves way more stars than it has
ReplyDelete