Author: Pen Stroke
Description: The arrival of a new "Star Buck's Coffee" in Ponyville is putting theLittle Sugar Shop of Horrors Part 1
pressure on Sugarcube Corner. The Cakes worry they'll soon be forced
to say 'goodbye' to their bakery, until Pinkie Pie discovers a
sugar-craving plant. Is this bizzare vegetation the bakery's saving
grace, or will Pinkie Pie find it's growing appetite too much to
handle?
A greedy corporate baron, a ravenous plant, musical numbers, and
romance. Three of these four things are in this story, and since
there's no shipping tag, you only get one guess. Come see a lighter
and softer crossover story inspired by "Little Shop of Horror"
starring everypony's favorite party pony Pinkie Pie.
Story is author-rated to be approximately PG (Nopony gets eaten or
anything like that).
Little Sugar Shop of Horrors Part 2
Little Sugar Shop of Horrors Part 3
Little Sugar Shop of Horrors Alternate
Additional Tags: Inspired By Crossover, Lighthearted, No pony gets hurt
79 comments:
Pen Stroke?
ReplyDeleteI can sense the un-official side stories already.
Awww...
ReplyDeletePen Stroke is rated PG now? Alrighty then......
ReplyDeleteAn artist can have more than one trademark, Seth. Think of Beethoven- Fur Elise. He doea much more than that one song, likewise Pen Stroke does more than just Nyx.
Yay! Something that isn't even vaguely hinting cupcakes! Go internet!
ReplyDelete*does
ReplyDeleteHe also did a PMV I think....
I was all set to take a break from Fics, hadn't read one all day... Then you posted a Pen Stroke story.
ReplyDeleteIs that really a story introduction? It turned into explaining the actual premise of the story itself as an object halfway through, lol
ReplyDeleteFeed Me!!!
ReplyDeleteAudrey2-kun! X3
ReplyDeleteTime to read...
ReplyDeleteOne question: Who's Nyx?
@Steve Jobs
ReplyDeleteA very famous OC pony in Pen Stroke's most famous fanfic "Past Sins". Past Sins is one of the most famous fanfics of all time
Hey it got posted!
ReplyDelete@Steve Jobs
ReplyDelete*GASP* You havent read Past Sins?! You poor, deprived soul. This man needs help, Somone link the prolog, QUICK!
I knew this crossover would be done eventually.
ReplyDeleteHoly shit, something from Pen Stroke that isn't obnoxiously long. Good lil' read!
ReplyDelete@AfroMike I lost interest in it and stopped reading it O__O
ReplyDeleteI just watched Little Shop of Horrors yesterday. Such a good movie.
ReplyDeleteIm gonna make a prediction that Mojo will appear in this comment section spouting hatred at Past Sins, thats what normally happens when its mentioned atleast...
ReplyDeleteVery much like other well-known media creators, Pen Stroke is known for one thing, and one thing only: Past Sins. It is my firm belief that nothing he could ever write could surpass that work in terms of popularity and the public will be perpetually disappointed because they want more of the same Past Sins that they've become accustomed to, and any new work written by him will only be compared in terms of the aforementioned Past Sins.
ReplyDeleteMy take on the story is it is a generally good read, which I can usually expect of something written by Pen Stroke. However the lack of transitions and sentence structure variation, coupled with generally poor pacing and grammatical mistakes, especially concerning adverbial clauses, make this somewhat unwieldy and generally unsatisfying in terms of a read. This work would be better off seeing another revision, removing the stylistic problems that plague almost all of Pen Stroke's works (Past Sins included).
@Bombedrumbum
ReplyDeleteI'll admit, I also had trouble getting through the first few chapters, but the ending was worth it. I'm not gonna mindlessy spout reasons as to why you should read it, we all like different things, but I loved it and would recommend it to anyone who hasn't read it yet.
Ahhh, good to see another piece by Pen Stroke. This one sounds good. I loved Little Shop of Horors :D
ReplyDelete@Dusty the Royal Janitor
ReplyDeleteAlso, weirdly enough, while I mostly liked Past Sins, I remember him for being the author of "A Drop of Moonshine," which is my second favorite fic ever (right after Sweet Apple Capers)
Pen Stroke has written stuff without Nyx. Remember "A Drop of Moonshine?"
ReplyDeleteWow. I really can't wait to see how this story plays out. Given that Pinkie will be involved, I'm sure there will be no shortage of her signature hijinks. And after hearing all the stuff about 'Past Sins,' I'm definitely gonna have to look into it.
ReplyDelete(Yes, I haven't read it yet. Only three weeks in and still trying to take in everything. Maybe I should make 'Past Sins' my weekend project.
Dat crossover. Pretty cool.
ReplyDeleteLittle Shop of Horrors, but nobody gets eaten?
ReplyDeleteI. CALL. BULLSHIT.
Ooo this looks interesting better save this for tonight.
ReplyDeleteYeah little shop of horrors without someone getting devoured? C'mon. You could at least devour Blueblood or pipsqueak or someone.
ReplyDeleteGuys, come on, give the story a chance. It's wonderfully written hilarity.
ReplyDeleteAh! There you are. Great. Let me just post this comment. There we go. I wanted to talk to you for a moment, if I may.
ReplyDeleteI'll be honest: Haunting Nightmare has been a bit of a failure so far. For both of us. I think you'll agree. And you are getting very close to our fic.
'Fic' - heh, weird isn't it? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But I can assure you it is one. A proper fic.
Fan fic.
So I just wanted to give you the chance to read it yourself now. Before you click the back button. Just, you know, click on the story link there. Less a story chore and more a story option for you.
Sounds crazy, I know. But hear me out. Once you leave the web page, boredom will not be optional. It will be mandatory. No tricks, no surprises: just you bored, as a result of not reading the story in a timely fashion.
So. Yeah. Better offer here is just read the story. Seems like a lot of effort to surf all the way here just to leave, when there's a perfectly serviceable story link right there. Again: not a story chore. Your readership would
be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated.
The story link does work. I should point that out. I know we've had a couple of problems in the past. This link definitely works and it will probably entertain you. If that's one of your concerns about jumping in, the story entertaining you.
Effortless. Well, it won't be effortless, obviously. But it will probably entertain you.
In summary: surf away to certain boredom, or read right now. Honorably. Like a critic! Save yourself a trip. It's win-win for you.
I tell you, if I was alone on a Friday night, this is the way I'd like to spend it: reading a fan fic. That'd be the way I'd choose.
And here's the best part. There's a link in each chapter that will convey you in convenient comfort right into the next chapter. You won't have to back out of the first chapter. Everything's been taken care of. Didn't have to. Didn't have to do that.
Look, anyway. I've spoken enough. Take your time. I'll let you think about it. I don't want to pressure you: is it the fic? Is it the back button? You know what my opinion is: reading. I'm leaning toward reading. Up to you. Just
gonna give you some time to think.
@Batty Gloom
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell? Did you really make this entire post just to say "read the fic?"
@Dubs Rewatcher
ReplyDeleteThat and to mess with your head by modifying a Portal 2 bit of dialogue. I'm insane like that, if you haven't noticed.
I'll admit, I've never seen 'Little Shop of Horrors.' But after reading this, I don't think it's necessarily a pre-requisite of any sort. Sure, if there were any inside jokes from the movie, I sure didn't get them. But overall, it was a very enjoyable story that definitely stays true to Pinkie's nature. I won't spoil the story or anything, but let's just say there's stuff going on here that only she could think of and pull off.
ReplyDelete@Batty Gloom
ReplyDeleteNuh uh, haunting nightmare was far from a failure. sure... the conclusion was rather absurd, and the tone could be better, but the most of the story was very well written.
I have an urge now to sing,
ReplyDeleteDarn you
@Travis Smith
ReplyDeleteOur work here is done. :D
~Little shop... Little shop of horrors! Oh, ohoh, oh woooaaah!~
ReplyDeleteLOVED reading this! XD I LOVE the musical and movie, and this was just... *Wipes away tear*
~ Minstrel of Equestria
@Batty Gloom
ReplyDeleteWell good for you
Also I just started Past Sins, so just to let you know
@Magical Trevor
ReplyDeleteYay! Ponies getting devoured by a giant plant and... *sees PG rating* Awwwww. :/
Oh well, it's Pen Stroke so it should be good... I guess... *really wanted ponies to get eaten by monster plant: namely Blueblood, Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara*
This made my night.
ReplyDelete@Batty Gloom
ReplyDeleteI hate ending up posting before I have time to read something however...
That's the best advert for reading something i've seen in awhile, had I not intended to read this when I get time anyway that would have made me more likely to.
Here's a PDF version for anypony that has an ebook reader.
ReplyDeletehttps://docs.google.com/open?id=0By76I6q6gB85NjIxMjYxNGItYTAyNi00NDU0LWFlMjktZWFhOTQyYWZiODQ3
Huzzah! A multi-chapter (even if only a few) story from Pen Stroke on the eve of a near back to back double shift on the job, giving more additional reading material to pass the time!
ReplyDeleteAnd while I did really enjoy Past Sins and would love to see more Nyx slice of life stories from after Past Sins, I don't mind At All different stories from Pen Stroke because I've liked all of the ones he's written and do like his particular writing style. He's in my top three authors along with TheDecendant and another guy who's name I forget off hand because I'm really bad with names...
@Aduro
ReplyDeleteKKat? And if not, it should be...
But seriously, glad you say so. We (meaning Pen Stroke and I) do want to write more Nyx stories just as much as fans of Past Sins want to see them but we want to see how Season 2 pans out so we can keep the main story and all side stories in canon as much as possible. That and Pen Stroke wants to help me with my own works, which have been delayed for personal reasons.
Don't worry, everyone's favorite (or most hated) reincarnation of Nightmare Moon will return, it just might take awhile.
Pinkie Pie story without [Random] Tag. Not sure if want.
ReplyDelete@DPV111
ReplyDeletePinkie Pie's randomness is a given in any story she's in. Or at least in stories authored by either me or Pen Stroke.
Isn't the random tag meant for when the story itself is random, such as alternate universes?
I love how the line:
ReplyDelete"Do you really care how it works?" Totally takes care of an otherwise hard question.
BTW, my previous comment was in no way meant to be taken negatively. I honestly love how you two did that.
ReplyDeletePen Stroke, you never fail.
ReplyDeleteIf you keep coming out with stuff like this, I'll gladly wait for Season 2 to end before expecting more Nyx.
And Batty, good luck with your projects.
@Batty Gloom
ReplyDeleteActually it's Somber I'm thinking of. Who's KKat off hand? Don't think I recall that name but if it's a good author with stuff I've not read yet I'd love a link to their work as I don't think I've got enough unread Complete works to get me thru two eight hour shifts at the moment.
@Aduro
ReplyDeleteKKat is the guy who writes Fallout: Equestria, which is by far Pen Stroke and I's favorite FIM fan fic. It's both crossover and grim-dark done right, at least in our opinion. It's getting close to the end but it's a very, very big story, a true epic in the literacy term. I recommend trying to read a chapter a day.
You can find it here: http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/04/story-fallout-equestria.html
@LasloFreeman
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, I got ya. It didn't felt like something that needed to be explain, though, really, since this is Equestria we're talking about, I wouldn't be surprised if the answer we came up with was magic.
Got to love fantasy settings.
Ah, the Fallout guy. I thought I'd heard the name from somewhere but couldn't place it. Never have given that one a chance yet as I've avoided most crossovers and don't read incompletes. I've been braking my crossover rule though recently (look what story I've got lined up for to ight after all) and if he's nearing the end I might have to give it a start if I clear out my current log of stuff and need more to read to pass the rest of my shift at work.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of which I'm now At work so I might as well get to reading.
@Batty Gloom She*
ReplyDelete@Ikusa GT
ReplyDeleteWait, KKat is a pegasister? Why am I always the last to find out about these kind of things?
In either case, KKat rocks.
This was awesome!
ReplyDeleteAnd done. If I had any real complaint is would be the flower trio being in the first two songs, setting it up like it would be a running gag, but then them not really being in it again after that.
ReplyDeletePen Stroke and Little Shop of Horrors.
ReplyDeleteThis I have to read.
@Batty Gloom
ReplyDeleteGood to hear. I quite liked 'Past Sins'.
...I suddenly had a mental image, of Nyx spontaneously started using the ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE!
@Batty Gloom
ReplyDelete>using the term Pegasister.
goddamn I hate that term.
@Cassius
ReplyDeletewhich is a shame as Past Sins is his worst work.
Creeping Darkness and Better living were much more enjoyable.
@Batty Gloom
ReplyDeletewow that was the most gloriously pretentious comment iv EVER seen on this site.
BRAVO BRAVO!
seriously you literally just wrote
"read this fic, read this fic, read this fic, read this fic, read this fic, read this fic, read this fic, HEY LOOK IM REFERENCING PORTAL 2, READ THIS FIC, READ THIS FIC, READ THIS FIC"
@Mojo
ReplyDeleteMojo do I have to get the broom out and shoo you away :3
Well, that certainly made my night. Once again, a very shiny fic by Pen Stroke.
ReplyDeleteTwo things, though:
A) At the beginning, you use the word "orbs" to reference Pinkie Pie's eyes. Don't... just don't do that. It makes you sound pretentious.
2) At one point (I forget exactly where) you use "a" followed by a word beginning with a vowel. You might want to change that.
I loved this, although I wished feed me seymour was in this. It's the second best pen stroke story I have read (after Better living though science and ponies.)
ReplyDelete@Batty Gloom
ReplyDeletePoor Sweet Tooth!
She didn't even get to eat a single pony!
Now THAT would've been a sweet treat! Some fresh and tender pony meat! >:3 (is possessed by demons at the moment)
Pen Stroke y u don't write Past Sins sequel???
ReplyDelete@Frost
ReplyDeleteWe are. It's just that we also want to make Past Sins canon 2 compatible as well, so we're waiting to see how that pans out. Once Past Sins is revised/expanded to take season 2 into account, we might be able to get a few side stories published.
That and since this is a joint venture and I have even less time than Pen Stroke, my crappy personal life might delay things. Nothing I can do about it
Patience, Frost. Good things comes to those who wait. That and we want to write other works too.
Well' I downloaded this BEFORE I saw Pen Stroke's name. I only bumped this up to the top of my read list today once I knew the author. I'm a big fan of Past, you see.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm currently half way through the 2nd chapter, and I'll say I'm left laughing almost the whole way. I remember watching the stage show 12 years ago, and I haven't seen the movie for at least 10 years. I'm liking the story and how the characters act (staying-in-character-wise). I have no specifics unfortunately. The idea of Star Buck's coming in, and putting Sugarcube Corner out of business is pretty well done. Mr. and Mrs. Cake are very kind about it instead of being angry or spiteful. This is how I would expect them to act when faced with overwhelming competition. Mogul also plays his part well. He's like a clever used car salespony when around others, but when alone (or in song), we see how much he delights in other's misfortune.
The songs are silly. I was reading this without wi-fi, so I didn't have the song links as references, but there was little trouble there. The Da Doo song started, and the music instantly got in my head. I knew the tune to the song perfectly. I had a lot of fun reading it. I then got to the Baron song, and I just couldn't remember it, so I did my best.
That means right now I'm watching the movie. As I said, I haven't seen this in years. I'm at the scene where Bill Murray is orgasming at the dentist. I went back to read along the Dentist song, and it's well done in the story. Once I'm done watching this, I'll go back to the story, and finish it by tonight.
Oh, by these comments it seems you're the Past Sins author...? I never read that one, personally.
ReplyDeleteBut... BUT!
I did ask for a MLP Little Shop crossover or fusion, and here it is! And it was quite delightful!
Honestly, I was worried at first about Audrey 2 (Sweet Tooth) not being properly sinister. The undercurrent of Little Shop is the corruptible influence of the plant, and the fact that it first thrives because of drops of blood is a strong hint of what's to come. Can this still be pulled off with a desire for sugary sweets? This IS MLP, but I couldn't help but wonder. This all came to a head at the end of chapter 2, when I thought for sure that Sweet Tooth would eat Mogul, or do something similar.
Then came the "flower" angle.
Re-reading, I started to like it more and more. The fandom already has plenty of grimdark, and if a plot can be driven forward as well without it as with it, all the better. In fact, it works out even better: the plant is initially less threatening, and the 'invasion' scheme becomes a body snatcher scheme, with is ironically more plausible. I warmed to it, and by the end when Pinkie pulled off her surprise victory, I liked it.
Little Shop has always been one of my old favorites from when I was younger (much younger), and while you didn't do the fusion exactly as I would have, I've very happy and impressed with the end result on display. Just as important as making Sweet Tooth a functional antagonist, you had to flesh out Pinkie as our heroine, while paradoxically not making her as pathetic and morally flawed as Seymour.
Luckily, you're handling of Pinkie was well above the bar: while very silly and carefree, and adorably random, she was also relateable. I find Pinkie is often the hardest character for people to get right in fanfiction, since she's so innately prone to flanderization, necessitating that she be brought back down to Earth from time to time to temper her zaniness. She skirts the boundary of loony toon, and that can make for a hard character to base a story around, one of the reasons why I think the show also has few Pinkie-centric episodes. You got her to work here, and you should be proud of that fact.
Good job. Good fic!
-Capn Chryssalid
Today I introduced my 4-year-old sister to musicals that aren't terrible with Little Shop of Horrors. She's four, so it isn't easy to get her to sit through anything live action. She watched half the movie before getting up and running around doing 4-year-old things. That's a damn record. I love the movie, always have.
ReplyDeleteThen I come home, check the EqD backlog, and find this slice of fried gold. Great job, Penstroke. I particularly liked the linking to the actual songs, though I wasn't always to fond of the lyrics. Although, Baron was just SO good. I loved that whole scene to pieces. I was hoping for a scene with the pony equivalent of Bill Murray's character, but I'm not quite sure how that would work in a business setting. Someone who's very, very bad at negotiating but thinks they're great? Sadly, I just don't think there's a good parallel. Shame.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI'm copy-pasting my post a second time. I posted without reading it, and there were glaring grammar mistakes I couldn't let live. Here's my post again:
ReplyDeleteI've already put in most of my thoughts in my previous post. I liked this one as yet another afternoon-read. Like @Furbyz above me, I think Pinkie is one of the hardest characters to portray in fanfiction. This time around, she was well done, and I could visualize every facial expression she would have.
Here's a funny note: Halfway through Chapter 2 (when writing my last post), I was thinking about the first two songs, and how well they followed the original. I then wondered how well a Rocky Horror crossover fic would work. I was delighted to actually see a song from it in this fic.
Now regarding the songs: I believe someone else said the same thing. I was a bit disappointed how you set up the Flower Girls to be a running gag in the songs, but dropping them after the 2nd song. Twilight's confusion at them during the Da Doo song meant she was aware of the random song, and that's funny. I only wish they stuck around for a couple more songs.
One thing that was bugging me at the end was how Pinkie never admitted breaking into Star Buck's. I imagined it would look something like the end of Party of One:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_I7fFeqyCWQ&t=20m26s
I don't know exactly how the Princesses would take that bit of news, but since it's the end, and they're already talking to Mogul about his business, Pinkie might get off a bit easy (Not as easy as Party of One). Even if it meant a firm scolding and solution (Lesson Zero), a leecture in not getting carried away (A Bird in the Hoof, maybe), or disassociating with bad influences (Griffon the Brush-Off). Any other solution can be made, really. I just think leaving that out is quite a loose end that should've been tied up.
@Equinenox
ReplyDeleteTo address part of your comment, there is a reason Pinkie Pie's theft was not brought up in the end. It's something of a parallel from Little Shop of Horrors, since Seymore did murder the dentist and never got in trouble for it.
Still, now that you mention it, it is a bit odd for the pony fandom. So, I may just address that.
I love the film, and I loved this fic, 5/5.
ReplyDeleteDiabetes Saved the day! :D
ReplyDelete@Pen Stroke
ReplyDeleteReally, I don't think it would've bugged me as much if Pinkie hadn't dwelled on it so much. I think you had her character right when making her feel guilty several times throughout the story. If you had that scene as a passing incident, and her guilt forgotten soon after, I wouldn't have even remembered it at the end.
In short:
It only bothered me that she doesn't give into her guilt, and confess when she is clearly troubled by it throughout the story.
Regarding the parallel from Little Shop, no, I didn't notice that similarity. You're right, the plant dies, and the surviving characters live to see their dream home. It's actually quite surreal that the time between those two scenes is so short.
Well, you're the author. If you want to keep it like this, I understand your reasoning for it. Though almost every story has a lesson to be learned, and somehow in this fandom, it tends to make this story more complete. It's your story, and by changing that loose end, you'll satisfy at least one reader. But I'm sure you know how changing a story to satisfy a reader can have some backlash (heh).
http://equestrianbookclub.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeletePen stroke week at EQBC. check it out if your a fan fic reader
What a great story!
ReplyDelete