• Story: Derpy Hooves: The Muffin Queen

    [Comedy]

    Author: Dublio
    Description: Carrot Top is baking some muffins for a contest but she has to go to the store to buy some last minute ingredients. Not being able to leave Derpy Hooves alone by herself with muffins, she recruits the help of Lyra and Bon Bon to keep her at bay. Will they be able to prevent Derpy from eating the muffins? Or will Derpy have the last laugh?
    Derpy Hooves: The Muffin Queen

    Additional Tags: Derpy needs those muffins badly

    44 kommentaari:

    1. Christmas time, ergo muffins...MAKES SENSE TO ME! DERP

      VastaKustuta
    2. OH MAH GAWD CONGRATULATIONS, DUBLIO!!!

      VastaKustuta
    3. All I can think of is Dexter's Laboratory. Hail to the Muffin King. Him and his squirrel partner.

      VastaKustuta
    4. Autor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.

      VastaKustuta
    5. OMG a Dexter's Lab crossover? I loved the Muffin King episode.

      VastaKustuta
    6. @Ink Stream

      Yes! Finally first time I see a 0 comment thing and I get first. I never have to worry about it again. Ever. I can go back to hating firsters.

      Glad I saw this though. Really funny first chapter, definitely going in my read file. 4 star easily. Maybe more with chapter 2.

      VastaKustuta
    7. @Ink Stream


      Come on, this is my friends' first fic that made it to EqD, and you just had to do it on this of all posts?



      I try to take a break from commenting, and this is what I get.......

      VastaKustuta
    8. after that discord comic, i could use some happy derpy. I'll read later.

      VastaKustuta
    9. Autor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.

      VastaKustuta
    10. @Jelfes So very much agreed. Our poor friend deserves better than that.

      VastaKustuta
    11. @Ink Stream
      We Will find you



      You WILL be Ȩ̸̗̮͍̙͔͙̞̲͚̗͈̪ͦ̊̑̌͂̔ͫͫ̄̉̈ͩ̐̊̈̂͒́͝͠Ļ̷̶̢̨̜͇̤̼̘̝̞̩͈̼̗̖͖͕̬̳̾͗͑͛̑̋I̵̸̧̼̱̥͓̫͇̹̩̯̥̭͛́͒̄͛̉ͣ̆̊͒ͫ̔͟Ḿ͒ͤ̾̉ͨ̒͑̒͑ͩ̐́̊͠҉̻̺̻̗̩͚Ì̡̛͈͉͔̫͈͓̯̘͔̫̝͚̎̈͊̓ͦ͌̃ͨ͐̓͐̃́̆̀͘N̪̙̺̩̮̠̳͚̖̰̲̻̖̬͓̗̍̏̊͒̎͂̍̑ͣ̽̇̊͘̕͜͡ͅȂ̉̿ͥ̑ͤ͐̎ͥ҉̴̰͍̯̝̜͙̱͙̙̲͙̦͍͇͉͕͜ͅͅT̶̷̢̻̞̜̳͎̳̯̳̜̻̝̦̿͗̔̌̂͂̃͊͗̓̉͜͟E̷̡̠̺͇̭̬̗̘͖̜̯͎͖̣̫̯ͯ̄ͤ̿̾̅͐ͭ͒̚͢ͅD̸̢̹̹̫̻̬̘̻̲̦̻͓͐̋̑ͬ̅̕͢.̷̜̹͖̳͍̯̙̜̺̜̣ͯͩ́͊̔̇͆ͅ

      VastaKustuta
    12. This is one of the best fics here. I am with Jelfes on the level of how much you need to read this.

      VastaKustuta
    13. The summary makes me think of one particular episode of Dexter's Lab. Anyone else remember that?

      VastaKustuta
    14. @RavensDagger BROHOOF never sleeps. There is always at least one member awake.

      VastaKustuta
    15. I... But... I loved the fic. It's great. I really do. I.. crap. Now I feel bad. I'm a bad person for even caring about firsts. Also I'm a bit confused, people not only recognized me but respected me? For what? Are you sure You ain't confusin me with someone else?

      Really good fic, I do recommend you all read it. 5, because the second chapter was better.

      VastaKustuta
    16. @Ink Stream Better worded: You've eliminated a chance of earning my respect.

      @Pyron Read the other comments.

      VastaKustuta
    17. @Jelfes That's ok, If I ever finish the fic I'm writing, it'll be judged on it's own merit.

      VastaKustuta
    18. That Additional Tag reminds me of Gauntlet. "Gray Pegasus needs muffins badly!"

      VastaKustuta
    19. No more party invites for Ink Stream

      VastaKustuta
    20. Gratz on yer doublely muffin-derpidious!

      huzzah!

      VastaKustuta
    21. I just remembered that one episoe with Dexters dad and the Muffin.
      Reading this now

      VastaKustuta
    22. Tis is a pretty good fan fiction, and pretty funny! :D

      VastaKustuta
    23. Here's a Gdocs of the Story for those that prefer that instead of FIMFiction. :D

      VastaKustuta
    24. Yes, this episode was inspired by that Dexter's Lab episode where his dad was the Muffin King. :D

      It was my first ever written fanfiction and I hope to have made some of you laugh. If you have any feedback or critique for me on how to improve my writing or make the story better, I'd gladly listen to it. Anything for the sake of improvement after all. =D

      Also, don't feel bad, Ink Stream. *hugs*

      VastaKustuta
    25. Quite the creative ending. I admit that I did find it odd that Angel wanted the muffins, but I none the less did not see this coming.

      VastaKustuta
    26. In your finest hour I shall congratulate you, my good friend, for having one of your works here. It made me laugh, and you know how tough that is. Keep up the good work!

      VastaKustuta
    27. Good story. Dexter's Laboratory for the win!

      ...I thought Carrot Cake was a guy? Am I missing something?

      VastaKustuta
    28. @Pikari -

      Carrot Top is a mare. =D

      VastaKustuta
    29. CH.1 :

      ... Carrot as Ditzy’s best friend, and Lyra and Bonbon together ? Well, this story starts with an excellent mix, I have to say :)... And muffins ;) ...

      >One time, she drilled a hole straight through the floor in order to dig underneath the refrigerator.
      -Hurray for reference-hunting ! :D : http://bluehaakon.deviantart.com/art/Dooon-t-Stop-Beelieeeving-in-Muuufffffins-272863772

      >As Carrot Top walked off walked around the corner and out of view, Derpy grinned.
      -Dun duun DUN ! ...huh, I mean : Muf fin fiiiin !

      >I know not of this Derpy you speak of, for I am the Great and Powerful Bright Eyes!
      -Heh, a reference to her lesser used 3rd name. Always nice.

      >Derpy Hooves stared at the other grey mare. "Ooo, you're just like me," both mares said simultaneously.
      -Mmh... I don’t know what to think ?
      *shrug* Using her 3rd known name for another character... but one that is essentially her, but not really ?

      CH.2 :

      ... Funny use of the ‘’I am your father !’’ cliché :)... and ‘The Exorcist’ I believe ? Did I also saw a ‘Dracula’ reference with the eye hypnotism ? ...

      >Lyra! No! It's a trap!
      -Star War now ? Wow, how many reference can we make ! Let’s find out ! :D

      >"Oh, do you know the muffin mare? The muffin mare? The muffin mare?
      -I... can’t remember what this reference to ? I know I heard a similar thing somewhere before, but... where ?

      >Derpy plucked an apple, ripped the stem off and tossed it
      >They dived away from the apple as it exploded
      -Mmh... Unlocked locked doors, and exploding non-exploding objects ? Ditzy is tapping into the 4th wall energy ! Quick, call Pinky Pie !

      >Derpy smiled and shrugged, continuing to nibble on her muffin.
      -The plan indeed worked perfectly... kekeke... Muffin-rush.

      ... Also, Angel : Rabbit, friend of Fluttershy, *Mercenary* ;) ...

      -----

      Well, that was some good, simple comedy. Lots of various good references. It was an interesting story, quick and easy to enjoy.

      Too bad we never discovered what was the muffins' secret ingredient of Carrot ?

      VastaKustuta
    30. @Nova25 -

      Do you know the muffin mare came from an old rhyme. In order to ponify it, I substituted man with mare.

      As for the Bright Eyes thing, many people don't know about her 3rd name unless they've been in the fandom for a really long time. You know how some people insist that Ditzy and Derpy are different ponies? Kinda like that, but with her lesser used name so I could avoid confusion.

      For Angel, I originally was going to have him watch in the window in one of Derpy's sessions where she is in her room, but an editor told me to cut it out, because he thought it was a pretty random element to put in there, instead of a bit of foreshadowing.

      About the secret ingredient, if Derpy goes this crazy over the normal muffins (If you notice, they don't actually put the secret ingredient on the muffin), just imagine how she'd react if Carrot Top were to actually put the ingredient on.

      Also, yay for noticing the references, those are always fun. Thanks again for reading my story and I'm glad you enjoyed it. =D

      VastaKustuta
    31. Well, this fic certainly losses part of its charm once you realise where does it come from...

      It certainly doesn't get points for originality and the jokes weren't that funny since I pretty much knew all of them...

      The story also becomes quite predictable.


      I would've loved to see the author giving his own version of that Dexter's Lab episode instead of being something that feels 3/4 copy pasta'd with added ponies.



      But enough with the negative thinking, let's talk about positives! For starters, as much as I don't like how this seems like a Dexter's Lab script with (even more) ponies, I must admit it does a really nice job as a nostalgia bomb.

      The switch between the characters (like Derpy being DeeDee first and the dad later) was a clever way of incorporating some more references, and the use of 2 mares instead of using fillies like Dinky and Noi somewhat works (and I can totally see Lyra acting like this, I never expected Bon Bon to play along though).

      Also, the idea of Derpy going insane over muffins is awesome and creepy at the same time (my headcanon voice didn't help >_>).

      Finally, I (sort of) like how all of this happens without Carrot's secret ingredient being involved since it leaves enough space to put something else... And I would love to read more adventures and funny stories from the Muffin Queen (preferably with Lyra and Bon Bon).



      So all in all while not the most original thing I've read it was enjoyable, and I want to see more of it, I would love to see what else you can do with this.

      VastaKustuta
    32. Read it and liked it.

      I loved Dexter's Lab as a kid and I didn't even get the reference so I think this is a good story.

      VastaKustuta