Author: Pav Feira
Description: Rainbow Dash attends her hometown's Millennial Summer Sun Celebration, where she meets a peculiar pink pony. When a strange portal appears during the testing of Twilight Sparkle's latest invention, and pulls their new companion inside, the two friends give chase and embark on the most important adventure in all of history.My Little Chrono - Triggers Are Magic (New Part 26-27!)
My Little Chrono - Triggers Are Magic (Alternate)
Additional Tags: Chrono Trigger, Crossover, Video Game, Time Travel
226 comments:
Chrono Trigger crossover? Do want.
ReplyDeleteI really need to play Chrono Trigger some day.
ReplyDeleteInteresting story. I'll get to reading it at some point! Also I was waiting for that first comment privilege, but then I got distracted by that WSJ article!
ReplyDeleteI got Chrono Trigger for my emulator but it locks up for about half a second every 3 seconds, and it makes it unbearable to play...
ReplyDeleteok crono trigger was a great game but even if just dashie was in it it would make it much better
ReplyDeleteThis is the 2nd crossover fic with Chrono Trigger that I'm aware of. Let's see what happens, shall we?
ReplyDelete-opens fanfic-
Chrono Trigger.... and ponies... Celestia help me I MUST READ THIS.
ReplyDeleteIt has happened! Now, has anyone done FF IV/VI? Rarity as General Celes?
ReplyDeleteAlso @ jrk08004 ,I'm a bit familiar with emulators and such, at least some of the older ones, if you need I might be able to find you a decent copy for nds or snes.
ReplyDelete@ponydoraprancypants ...Rarity as Celes, you, sir, are a genius! Discord as Kefka... Dash as maybe Sabin? Lets get on this, bronies!
ReplyDeleteBut the future refused to change...
ReplyDeleteIts Rainbow Dash, that picture, and Chrono Trigger, 3 great reason to read.
ReplyDeleteShit, another RPG crossover? I REALLY need to start plotting out the Shadow Hearts crossover I want to write before someone beats me to it.
ReplyDeleteO.O FUCK YES!
ReplyDelete@ ponydoraprancypants: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! *Barney Stinson Spif*
Magical Trevor shall attempt a Final Fantasy VI Crossover! ... DAMN that's going to be tough... Might ahve to cut a few of the characters, like Yeti/Umaru and Gogo. (Or whatever that mimic's name is. Never really liked him anyhoof.)
So... Let's see, who would be who? Twilight would be Terra, OF COURSE! Locke would be... Rainbow Dash. Yes. Or would she be Seltzer?... Damn... Like one said, this is going to be a challenge... Trevor calls for a team to help one make this fic a reality! Allons-y!
~ Magical Trevor, Misntrel of Equestria
p.s. ... And now it's time to actually READ the AMAZING CT crossover fanfic! 8D (... It had BETTER be DAMN good, YOU HEAR ME?!?!)
Here's a random Pony/Chrono Trigger crossover picture for the lulz.
ReplyDeleteBattle Scene.
My favorite game of all time.
ReplyDelete....still need to finish Chrono Trigger someday....
ReplyDeleteAwesome! ^^ It's my Chrono Dash pic! I love that thing. ^^
ReplyDeleteChrono Trigger Crossover? SO MUCH YES!
ReplyDelete@Magical Trevor
ReplyDeleteClearly Pinkie Pie would make more sense as Setzer, you could even have her go pinkamena for the first bit post WoR (Darryl's tomb and whatnot). Also, Apple Bloom as Realm (with Granny Smith as Strago?).
@Zephyrion
ReplyDeleteOSHIT!
That means there are still antibronies in the future? Man that sucks.
Also horray for that rare cat robot from the begginning of the game.
@Magical Trevor
ReplyDeleteTrixie is Setzer. OBVIOUSLY! :)
Terra - Twilight
Locke - RD
Edgar - Applejack
Sabin - Big MacIntosh
Shadow - Fluttershy
Interceptor - Angel
Gau - Pinkie Pie
Celes - Rarity
Strago - Derpy Hooves
Relm - Sweetie Belle (or Dinky if you want)
Mog - Spike
Kefka - Discord? (maybe be a pony, but then Discord as his final form)
You'll have to figure out the Espers on your own! Alicorns?
Granny Smith and Apple Bloom work for Strago and Relm actually. I like that.
ReplyDelete@ponydoraprancypants
ReplyDeleteAlso, Snips and Snails as Vicks/Biggs and Wedge
Oh, sweet! Chrono Trigger is my favorite RPG ever! I'm still waiting for someone to do Starcraft and Mass Effect, though. Time to read!
ReplyDeleteEver since I saw this picture long ago, I was hoping for this to happen. Will enjoy this.
ReplyDelete@ ponydoraprancypants:
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, Trevor is working as hard as he can on figuring out wh oshould be who, but, sorry to disappoint everypony, but bloom and GS aren't going to be Relm and Strago, because AJ and Mac will be Edgar and Sabin. Can't have other family in the story w/o them being related... On noes! Trevor is giving out story spoilers! GAH! Still... If you know anypony experienced as a pre-reader AND FFVI, please send them Trevor's way at Nightsongthebard@gmail.com . Thanks!
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
... WTF?! PINKIE PIE is Marle?! That makes almost no sense! Fluutershy is like the PERFECT Marle! CJBIPUVBDU(BPFIEBIPWEVBCDUSBK!!! ... Trevor will keep reading to figure out the reasoning... (This was typed the second that one found out who Marle was)
ReplyDelete~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
@Magical Trevor:
ReplyDeleteBut if you're worried about family relations, then...
*FF6 spoilers*
You can't make Fluttershy Shadow. Otherwise, Relm would have to be her daughter, and we don't know any of Fluttershy's relatives.
YEEEEEES!!!!!
ReplyDelete@Dachimotsu
ReplyDeleteYeah, worrying about relatives seems like more trouble than it's worth. But then, this may just be the fact that I love Fluttershy and Angel as Shadow and Interceptor.
Omg you should definately make trixie be magus!!! :D
ReplyDeleteI have never played Chrono Trigger, but doesn't one of the main characters die towards the end of the game?
ReplyDeleteI have a bad feeling about this...
@Xenagon
ReplyDeleteBest RPG EVER!!!!
Mattatta: CT is very open-ended. If the correct decisions are made, then every main character will survive.
ReplyDelete... @ Everypony involved in the FFVI discussion:
ReplyDeleteYes, Trevor has, mostly, decided to throw the entire family aspect at the wall, since there's just too much inter-relatedness involved in the game that isn't in MLP. The only way it would work is to make the Apple Family have Strago, and Rares and Sweetie Belle be Edgar and Sabin, which makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER!
So yeah. Besides, one is working on making the story different anyhoof, so... XD Although, it will be a LONG time in coming... For those of you who want to have input on who's who, go to www.zidanewaterflower.deviantart.com/ in order to vote on one's poll. PLEASE and thank you!
~SPOILERS~
(Also, only mostly through the first chapter, and one IS enjoying it. And One guesses that Pinkie Pie IS a good Princess, but now, looking back, maybe AJ would have been a better choice, with Big Mac as the king, but then who would be Ayla? XD Anyhoof, looking forward to seeing who's Frog and everypony else! (And, sadly enough, Trixie can't be Magus, since NMM is Magus... Which sucks, really, because how can you have her in the story, and not Celes? It just... Then again... That would make Schala or however you spell it her older sister... NVM, it makes sense now. Carry on.)
~SPOILERS~
ReplyDeleteXD Of COURSE Rares is Frog! How could one be so stupid! XD One didn't even need to read the gem-encrusted whatever, or the speech to figure it out! XD Silly Trevor, thinking for a second that Flutters would be Frog! As if! Flutters is likely to be R66Y! 8D (Please... Since AJ would make a better Ayla, PLEASE tell Trevor that Flutters is R66Y... Trevor is begging you...
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
p.s. if you ever want a pre-reader... One knows Chrono Trigger forwards and backwards! One has beaten it at least three times for each system alone, including all of tghe optional endings. If you even need a pre-reader, Trevor's your Stallion! (And yes, one has references, if you care/need to see them.)
I'm liking this, and I normally don't really like crossover fics that just retell story A with the characters from universe B. I blame it on the subtle changes you're managing to weave into some of the interactions I guess. Also, Celestia as schala and OC alicorn as Zeal?
ReplyDeleteI claim full responsibility for this
ReplyDeleteoh it doesnt like youtube links http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sorLEwGXWbc
ReplyDeletehmm...
watch?v=sorLEwGXWbc
O.O HO-LY BUCK... Trevor KNEW that there was something wrong when the story ended with RariFrog saying that she was leaving, but reloading, and Trevor is only half-way through the chapter?! Just how far are you going to go in this FIRST chapter?! TO the End of Time?! ... No, that's TOO far... Probably in the Future, One would venture to guess... Still, so far, it seems like it's only re-telling the story, so for now, one will give it four star, but this has SO much potential! Dashie is SO in trouble for how she acted in the Fair! XD Can't wait to see if she waits the three days for TwiLucca to rescue her, or busts out of there herself! Well, there's only one way to find out! Allons-y! To the rest of the chapter that appeared after Trevor reloaded the page! 8D
ReplyDelete~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
SD:ASd.ASFsf
ReplyDelete^
my first reaction to this, so awesome game.
As much as I'd love to read this (and I really would, even if it's only to see how it turns out), I'm having problems viewing it - the right border is missing on the google doc. Is it uploaded anywhere else?
ReplyDeleteMUST READ.
ReplyDelete@Mattatatta Yes but the rest of the cast goes through a series of events to spit in the face of causality and bring him back.
ReplyDeleteAlso, is anyone else clicking the link and getting no text?
Still waiting for my dragonnest crossover...
ReplyDeleteI hope this isn't like mine or else I lose.
Crono Dash is best Dash.
ReplyDeleteI thought I was going to do homework. Apparently not.
ReplyDeleteWhaza--
ReplyDeleteWhoza--
I was JUST going to write this! With Dash as Crono and everything! Get out of my head!
@Mattatatta
ReplyDeleteHe gets better.
Yes. Just, fucking yes
ReplyDeleteWelp, there goes one fan-fic idea I have (that I'll probably never have wrote anyways, heh). Still, I may pop this one open and give it a read. Nice to see Dash cast as Crono, I'm in total agreement wit that. Curious about the rest of the casting...
ReplyDelete@o@
ReplyDeletePardon me as I joy-gasm all over my laptop.
*ahem*
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
That. That was delightful. Can't wait for Zeal! Mayor Mare as Queen Zeal? :?
ReplyDeleteWow... I'm not sure what my expectations for crossovers should be. It's hard to rate this, especially considering I'm a Chrono Trigger fan.
ReplyDelete=====POSSIBLE SPOILERS BELOW=====
I'll have to give it five stars and not just for the whole Chrono Trigger thing. There were maybe two errors in a 90+ page document. Also, this is only a part one. If I'm right about document spacing, that would make a short novel if put into form as a children's novel.
The characters are well played and the casting makes a ton of sense. I especially love how the author somehow managed to have Rarity play Frog successfully. That was impressive.
The writing is engaging, especially considering that I've played the video game so it would become boring. I had to switch between doing this and a school project.
NOW HOW THE EXPLETIVE DO I WRITE WITH AS MUCH DETAIL AS AUTHORS? I CAN'T DO IT! Maybe I need a bigger vocabulary or a better grasp of mental imagery. Shame. I can tell you that the detail was not lacking.
This story deserves five stars without a love of the subject matter.
Hate to do a part two, but I forgot to mention something that really pushes this fiction to five stars.
ReplyDeleteIt has a sense of morals. Rainbow Dash expresses absolute objection to PinkieDash. Not only that, but the author not only very sparsely uses inappropriate language in verbal dialogue, he uses it CONSTRUCTIVELY. The author deserves applause for those two things ALONE.
Been waiting for this!!
ReplyDelete@Magical Trevor
ReplyDeleteI hate to tell you this, but the CT characters were laid out a long time ago in inkwell-pony's art. http://ponibooru.413chan.net/post/list/inkwell-pony/1
XD Oh GOSH, that fourth wall breakage... XD Just look it up in the Tutorial section in the menu! XD Priceless...
ReplyDeleteXD And way to scare Trevor for a second there! XD One was all like 'WHAT?! But that's the game over screen! WTF?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!' Then one kept reading, and was like... Oh... Okay! Trevorisokaywiththis.jpg
Looking forward to see what you change and what you keep the same! Keep it up! (Though if each part is that long, Trevor gets the feeling it's going to be a LONG time before we get part two...)
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
Chrono Trigger !
ReplyDeleteExpectations will be high ! :D
@ponydoraprancypants
ReplyDeleteIf I remember correctly my FF6 lore... Shadow is supposed to be, somehow, related to Relm... which would make (here) Fluttershy secretly related to the Apple family.
@Nova25: Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhhh NO. We're kind of screwing the who family thing, to a certain extent. The only family large enough to be Relm, Strago and Shadow is the Apple Clan, but then who would be Edgar and Sabin? Big Mac is a PERFECT Sabin, and AJ OR Applebloom make a good Edgar, so... We're kind of screwing the family aspect to a certain extent. Although... In light of the new episode... Ninjaty is now Canon... Do you bronies still want Flutters to be Shadow? Because Rarity would make an AMAZING Shadow at this point... Again, haed to one's DA to vote!
ReplyDelete(In the game, Shadow is Relm's father.)
So... What do you think of the fic, Nova?
Snap! Thanks for all the comments! Glad to see so many ponies are excited by this. I hope this will live up to everypony's expectations (feedback welcome!). It's a bit nervewracking, cuz I know how many loyal CT fans are still around, and the level of standards we have. But once I had the idea in my head, I just knew I'd have to take a stab at it. She's looking like she'll run a weeee bit on the lengthy side, but hopefully I won't be keeping everypony waiting too too long for the next releases.
ReplyDeleteAlso glad to see so much speculation on the casting. I must've spent weeks on that part alone. @_@ There were a few tough choices, but I'm pretty happy with how it's looking now. There's maybe around 40 characters who will be making an appearance, so there should be somepony for everypony. Probably the biggest downside is that I set most of the casting before Season 2 aired, so still trying to see if Discord will make an appearance. We'll see.
Re: the Mane 6, I did end up with the same choices as Inkwell did (thanks again for letting me use your awesome Crono Dash!). It did lead to a few interesting choices, but I agree it's the best fit overall. (I was a little apprehensive about Pinkie as Marle, but by the end of Part 1, I was sold).
Anywho! Part 2 is underway, and I'll be typing away as fast as time permits. Please look forward to it!
@Brevity You should check your video's comments. Also, its EqD post at http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/09/pmv-my-little-chrono-trigger-pmv-what.html ;)
ReplyDeleteSo the author DOES read the comments here! One was beginning to wonder! XD Yes, PLEASE keep up the AWESOME work! One is a HUGE CT fan, and wants to see what all else will change! (And also, Trevor would like to formally apologize, as it's Trevor's fault for making close to half of the comments here being about FFVI instead of CT. It's rude of one to do so, and will try to stop. (The hard part is finding another place to post about it, you know? Still, one will stop spamming this fics comments with something unrelated. Again, I apologize.))
ReplyDelete~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
yay
ReplyDeleteI LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOOOOVE this fanfic.
ReplyDeleteI love it and love it and love it and love it and then I get tired and have to go to sleep and when I wake up I love it some more.
I can't wait until we meet Aylajack, Roboshy, and Lunagus.
However...there is one that that ALWAYS pisses me the fuck off with Chorno Trigger's story.
The Trial. I mean, Yakra 13's case against Chrono and motives for doing so are so poorly written in the original game.
I can tell the author tried to make it better, but that segment of the story brought down my enjoyment. Its hard to polish that turd.
(Actually...I did work out that if the Chancellor character snuck something into the bag of the Crono character, something like poison, he could have a much stronger case and might add some actual drama and tension instead of frustration to that chapter of the story. I still have no idea how getting back at Crono helps Yakra 13's revenge unless he knows Crono personally killed his ancestor...)
However, now that all that is behind us and the heroes are about to find out about Lavos, I can only predict good things for this fic.
Go, Pav! Hurry up and make more!
ohmygodohmygodohmygod!! It's like playing the game, but instead you're watching it... AND ITS PONIES!!!
ReplyDeleteHolly damn ? 104 pages ?! I think it's even longer than that one super-long Part of FO:EQ ?
ReplyDelete... From the start, I say (my guesses for the cast, most of them chose for very obvious reasons) :
RD:Chrono, Rarity:Marle, Twilight:Lucca, AJ:Frog, Fluttershy:Robot, Pinky Pie:Ayla, Trixie:Magus, Discord:Lavos, Luna/Nightmare Moon:?...Zeal, Celestia:?...The King in the Past/Present or Guru of life, Doctor Whooves:Gaspar(guru of time), Ditzy/Derpy:Belthasar(guru of reason), Zecora or Celestia:Melchior(guru of life). Oh, and 'Luminaire' will be the Sonic Rainboom.
Let's see if this holds. (Also, I know every corners of that game by heart, just saying) ...
-----
>Rainbow Dash caught a glance at her cutie mark: a set of three balloons.
-Wait what ? Is that an error in the casting ? Pinky Pie as the princess Marle, for real ?
She SOOooo doesn't fit that role... Rarity would have made a much better fit, considering her character, personality and background in the series. And, we all know that Pinky Pie is energetic and random, and a bit ''wild''... kinda like Ayla, you know ?
But, I guess that with some tweaking, it 'could' work...
>and flew over to the pink pony, necklace draped over her hoof.
-Oh noes ! She didn't speak with... Pinky Pie... first !
That's gonna cost her 1 'guilty' later on.
---
>I guess you’re right. If you don’t have a turbo controller
-I had one of those back in the days. It was the ONLY possible way to win that damn mini-game.
---
>Must’ve been caught up in the fighting with Nightmare Moon’s forces.
-Nightmare Moon as Ozzie ? Well, it's ok too, I guess.
It's one of the 3 Big Bad Guys after all (not counting the final boss). But, now who will be Zeal ?
>Reckon I’m what you might call a ‘venturer. Name’s Braeburn.
-Him as Toma the explorer... hmm, well, anypony could have fitted that role I suppose.
... So far, story is well built and paced, I would say ...
---
>It wasn’t much of a logic jump for Rainbow Dash to guess that this was King Sugardia
-Ah... well, Celestia was just a far-guess, anyway. I wonder what role she will have...
>“As always, Chancellor Octavia, your counsel is most appreciated.”
-Heh, I guess she can fit that role well... the 'real-Chancellor' part, not the monst..*cough*, huh I mean.
>“If only Sir Spike were still here, to lead us Bolt Knights into battle.
-Spike as the deceased Cyrus ? Again, a role I didn't especially think about. But, I guess it works with the whole 'shining knight in armor', from that one episode.
>“He can understand you just fine.”
>He stared blankly ahead. “Yes. Yes we can.”
-The guard answering back is actually rather funny, here.
>I don’t know... I’ve never witnessed a Grandmother’s Paradox before.
-Paradoxes, they are so fun to watch... until you try to solve them, of course.
The solution ? Michio Kaku and Quantum Physics !
---
ReplyDelete>their hindquarters had been replaced with the body of a snake.
>“SNAAAKES!”
-Ahh... Twilight. You and your phobia of snakes, bats, and stuff, but not spiders apparently. :)
>“My dear, you simply must be more cautious. Stay ever vigilant until the ‘bitter end’, as ‘twere.”
-What ? Nooo... You gave Frog's place, THE brave-hard working-vigilant-honorable and honest FROG... to Rarity, and not Applejack ? An even bigger miscast than Pinky Pie as Marle, if you ask me.
I can *hardly* think of a good reason for 'THIS' choice...
(sigh) Anyway... ''etc, etc, with HEAVY tweaking, etc...''
>She’s scared of frogs too, isn’t she...
>“A f-f-frog! A gross, slimy frog just touched me! Eww eww eww!”
-Well, Twilight isn't scared of frogs in the series... and I didn't remember that Lucca did ? (1 video later : Bah, it lasts for a big whooping 5sec in the game, no wonder I forgot that)
>My, to think of the fashion and luxury that could be invented over the course of four long centuries...”
-Yeeeah... Fashion and the glorious Frog don't go together...
AJ would have worked SOOooo much better, with the whole 'honor' thing of Frog and desire to work hard to become a strong soldier like Cyrus and being a protector for others and stuff... Just saying.
>Rainbow Dash was both awe-struck and terrified of the golden alicorn depicted in the statue. “This... this is Nightmare Moon?”
-Nightmare moon is Magus ? Hum, I thought she was Ozzie earlier ? ...it's because of the evolution from 'Enemy to Party Member', I suppose ?
Mmh, well, considering what happens with Magus MUCH later in the game, I guess this works.
>Every time we’ve been attacked, I’ve been such a...” she said as she clenched her eyes tightly shut, “...such a coward.
-Lucca is THE kind of adventure-scientist that goes on the field, blow up/set on fire things, and SHOOT stuff... I don't get why the author made Twilight-Lucca into a scaredy pony ?
>She screamed at the creature, “Quod erat demonstrandum, your flank is mine!”
-Errrr... Where does 'THAT' comes from ? Random Latin sentence for '20% cooler' effect or ?
---
>A pony-shaped frog talks to her and she doesn’t even bat an eyelash?
-Yeeeah... in the game Marle has a complete opposite reaction, initially (for a big 5sec though)... which would have made Rarity even more proper in Marle's role, considering her 'distaste' for slimy, dusty, grimy things.
>But Frog taught me an important lesson about the magic of friendship.
-Waaaaait ? So... you forced 'Lucca' to be useless and scaredy, in the abbey, JUST to force one of Twilight's ''frienship lesson'' in there ? ...bad.
>After selecting the Combo command, scroll down underneath your Single Techs, and you will see a list of all available (...blablabla)
-You know... the 4th wall thing with Pinky Pie is only funny in small-short doses well spread OR when done SUBTLELY... not like that.
>a self-important grin on her face. “Volia!
-It's ''Voilà ''. (small error)
>She had a white coat and deep blue mane, with electric blue highlights streaked through her mane.
-DJ P0N-3 as the second Chancellor, really ? Being a 'Chancellor' doesn't seem to fit a pony like Vinyl Scratch ? ...could have been 'Mayor Mare' or anypony else, really.
---
ReplyDelete>“What the hay are you doing? You aren’t a lawyer! You’re an inventor!”
-The hell ? Lucca NEVER has been Chrono's attorney in the game. (sigh)
>she edged a book out of her saddlebag
>she could read the title: The Egghead’s Guide to Defending Kingdom-Level Court Cases.
-Oh please... please tell me all this wasn't done JUST to 'cram' that in there...
>Didn’t even check if the Princess was okay.
-Well, at least 'that' is consistent with what is supposed to happen, from the game.
... Be careful there... Adapting some elements from the game to better fit the 'ponies' is one thing, screwing with the material is one whole other risky thing ...
>Chancellor Scratch turned to the judge. “There you have it. Rainbow Dash planted an accomplice as her lawyer
>you are hereby considered an accomplice and will therefore receive identical judgment
-Errrrg! ...(sigh) ...See what I meant ? Lucca is SUPPOSED to come to Chrono's rescue :
1) After Chrono decides to break out of Jail on Day 1, Lucca will appear when you are almost outside the prison...
OR
2) Wait after day 3, be dragged to the execution room of the prison, THEN Lucca comes and stop it, and you both try to escape the prison.
Placing Lucca in jail with Chrono, from the start, instead of letting her 'save' Chrono (or even waiting the end of the prison-level to bring her, for 'The Big Escape') is kinda breaking the dynamic of that small part of the game.
---
>“Nice catch!” cheered Twilight Sparkle from behind the desk. “I found all of our stuff!
-Found ? Normally you have all your stuff, as soon as you exit your cell... It's MUCH-much later in the game that something like this happens.
(On a related note, I predict that Dalton will be Blueblood.)
>“Weh EFFUF meh! Ahf euph to euphin mah HUH, fo...”
>She shrugged. “Duh-nuh. Ah heff...”
>“If ah bwagom!”
-...If this continues, this will become quite annoying (especially since it wasn't really THAT necessary, or funny to begin with).
>Twilight Sparkle’s face fell. “Oo huuf abbuf... Ah mee uh bihfih foo fum...”
-Yep. Annoying. Seriously, why ?
>She stood defiantly, miniature chainsaw gripped firmly in her mouth
-She thinks she's Edgar or what ?
... Just want to point that, apparently, their chains and bindings mysteriously disappeared (not that, in the game, they EVER had them IN or OUT of the prison, once in the cell !) ...
>BUT... THE FUTURE REFUSED TO CHANGE.
-Too soon for that End ...I wonder if the author will go for THE Super End ? Or what side-quests will be done ?
-----
Forgetting the rather odd choice/selection for the pony-party member so far, it IS certainly well made and rather accurate to the game (except for some details that I don't know 'why' they were changed ?).
It was long (very long), but it was rather good overall... A good beginning for Chrono Trigger crossover.
I just hope the author will be careful with 'what' he change in the 'source material', that's all.
@Nova25 Thanks! I'll try to touch on some of your points here...
ReplyDeleteLength: Heh, yeah... I noticed a few of you were having trouble opening this in Google Docs too. Main reason for the single file was that I started this during EqNaPoWriMo in September, so keeping it all in one file was easier back then. But going forward, I'll probably break this into one GDoc per chapter, rather than cramming a full arc into one GDoc :<
I did consider a Mane 6 casting like yours (Pinkie as Ayla could've been particularly fun). The problem I saw with Rarity as Marle though, is that in Season 1 at least, Rarity was trying pretty eagerly to become royalty (that whole Blueblood debacle). Marle, on the other hand, is more this energetic free spirit who dislikes her royal duties (ex. ducking out of the castle to have fun at the Fair). It would be a little odd for Rarity to finally become royalty, with all its glamour and sophistication, yet hate it. Now obviously, she's not particularly thrilled to be a froggy in the current casting, either. But at least (avoiding spoilers) this comes with more of a backstory, which gets examined later on.
Twi as a scaredy-pony: when I was replaying that dungeon, keeping in mind RD and Twi would be green adventurers at this point, how many bats and pony-naga would be present, plus the pony-frog companion... It didn't seem to me like Twi would be particularly stellar in that dungeon. Nor does she enjoy being less than stellar. Thus, she has a bit of a breakdown. I at least tried to give her some redemption this arc with a few cool moves on both of the bosses. Don't worry, going forward we shouldn't see her hiding in corners too much, if at all.
Twi with her mouth full: yeah that probably was a bit too long ^^;
In general, about the deviations from CT canon... It's a fine line. I don't want to drastically alter the story and alienate the CT fans (myself included). I also don't want it to read like I took the CT script and search-replaced Crono to Rainbow Dash. Plus, the characters' personalities and motivations are slightly different, since the FIM cast has been crossed over into the CT universe. Essentially, I'm trying to allow changes to occur organically where they seem to fit (like Twi deciding she's ready to serve as a laywer after one all-nighter of studying), while still staying reverent to the source materials (even making sure the jurors came out in the right order). I'm bound to not please everypony, but I'm definitely trying to keep all the different audiences in mind.
Thanks for the feedback!
Looking forward to the rest. Loving how your not following the story exactly like the game. Adds a nice twist to the read.
ReplyDeleteLove this, and I have only ONE thing that you need to do......
ReplyDeletePLEASE
TYPE
FASTER!!
That's all.
Agreed! Please keep up the amazing work! Umm, that is, if you don't mind...
ReplyDelete*Feel like a hypocrite, since one is STILL working on the FIRST chapter of the FFVI crossover...*
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
p.s. While we don't want you to trade speed for quality, an update on how you're doing would be very nice! ^^
Absolutely amazing on so many levels :P
ReplyDeleteMaybe the first fanfic I enjoyed to the point that I didn't want to stop reading (even though it was 12AM...)
Can't wait to continue to see more updates coming. Amazing job, Pav!
Though I must say, I want to see desperately how Fluttershy is going to fit in :P
So...any plans to release the next chapter soon?
ReplyDelete@Magical Trevor @Xaos Eeyup, sorry for the slow speed, everypony. Holiday time has been fairly distracting :( If nothing else, by the time we get to the new year, I should have more free time to devote to this. But it's still very much alive, I assure you! I should have a few new chapters published within a week or two, if everything stays on schedule.
ReplyDelete@Pav Feira
ReplyDeleteAwesome! Thanks for the update :P
I'll keep on the story updates lookout on the front page. Hope the holidays are good on ya, but no need to rush during Christmas/New year. Quality over speed.
@Pav Feira Yeah, thanks for the update! (Sorry for taking so long. Apparently, I'm subscribed, but I don't get e-mails! XD)
ReplyDeleteAnyhoof, good to know! The same thing has kept me busy from the FFVI crossover, which is annoying, since we've figured out the ENTIRE plot, Espers, EVERYTHING. Now I/we just have to type it out... ~_~
@Magical Trevor
ReplyDeleteIndeed. Holidays be holdin' everyone up. But hey, Christmas, whatcha gonna do?
I'm half-hoping this gets released before Christmas comes, though since its under a week from now, I assume most fic authors will be a bit too busy. But hey, we lasted over a month & a half, a few more weeks for an update to this fic shouldn't be too hard ;)
Oh my o_o updating with a few new chapters before the end of the week? Why, that would require Feats of Strength...
ReplyDelete@Pav Feira
ReplyDeleteRofl, no worries ;)
Everyones busy this holiday season. I mean, I've bought Terraria, Portal 2, Super Meat Boy, Skyward Sword, and several other games, only to be too busy to play them. For me, that's a serious deal.
When it comes to Christmas, some things gotta take priority ;)
Anyways, no rush. I'm sure we'd rather see some good quality writing than last minute rushed work. Ponies shouldn't stop you from relaxing during Christmas season :D
@Pav Feira
ReplyDeleteAlso, (if you happen to read this) where does your name come from? It sounds familiar but I'm not too sure. (And if it's your real name, what's it's background? I know it's creepy to ask, but I have a thing for foreign names :P)
@Chip
ReplyDelete"Pav" I picked up from a summer camp ages ago. One of the other attendees had the nickname Pav because their last name was along the lines of Pavlovskii I think (something Russian or Eastern European). I liked the sound of it, so I wrote it down for later use. "Feira" I just made up :P That name was originally meant to be the main character of a JRPG that I never fully got around to writing the plot for, so instead I use it as my handle basically everywhere -- forums, MMOs, etc. Hope that answers your question!
@All
So, just as I was sending a few chapters (the ones I was being coy about earlier) to my editors, my laptop caught a virus and decided that DNS is overrated. So, I'm stuck borrowing my little bro's PC for the finishing touches and submission. Please allow 1-3 additional days added to the release date I never fully specified.
@Pav Feira
ReplyDeleteAhh, I see. Thanks for the answer :D
I was just asking because I happen to know a Danish person called "Pav" (which is apparently according to him a Danish name), but I just wanted to make sure :P (Was half hoping he was secretly a brony since he's a good writer but meh :P)
Sorry about the virus :\ That's gotta suck.
1-3 days should be easy to wait for :D Lookin' forward to it.
*Clock-is-ticking-twilight-face*
Hrm...I've had a similar idea for writing a Chrono Trigger crossover story...although mine is quite a bit different from this story. (This story is basically just the Chrono Trigger story with ponies...and there's nothing wrong with that.) Mine's...as I said, different, so hopefully we won't be stepping on each other's toes with our respective stories.
ReplyDeleteGreat job on the new chapters. Looking forward to seeing how Robo acts :P
ReplyDeleteThough I noticed I take some things to seriously upon reading your fic. When Twilight says "Thank the Sun" & "How under the Sun", I begin theorycrafting dozens of different ways that Celestia could fit in to the story based on that :P (Unless of course it's just implied ponies worship the sun or something, but w/e)
@cyberetah
ReplyDeleteJudging by the fact that "Sun" is capitalized, I'm assuming it either refers to Celestia. I've seen some fics refer to Celestia as a goddess (though based on recent events in the show/things Faust has said about her "genetics" and how she was born I'm fairly certain in the show she's just royalty), but I don't know about them worshipping the "Sun" itself. That'd be kind of weird o.O
Or maybe I'm taking things too seriously and it's just a figure of speech since we're not aware a pony "God" or anything exists.
@Chip
ReplyDeleteJust googled what Faust said... Also noticed apparently Luna was not "fully grown" when she turned evil... So apparently they do age... I guess they're just really powerful/long lived. Which would explain the royalty (and why other ponies can control the sun/moon too).
So I don't think they really would worship Celestia. I'm assuming either it's a figure of speech like you said, or they literally worship the Sun (but most likely worship the Sun since "Sun" is capitalized). Or something.
Woot, made it by the end of the week. It's a Festivus miracle! Thanks to everypony for tolerating (perhaps not loving) the slow update pace.
ReplyDeleteI'm also quite looking forward to Robo's appearance! I was actually aiming to do another 7-8 chapters to finish the 2300AD arc, but bluh, at the rate I was writing, there was no need to keep everypony waiting that long between updates. Just a couple more chapters, though!
@Kyronea, sure, the more the merrier! I was actually surprised that CT crossovers were still relatively rare when I entered the scene.
@Pav Feira
ReplyDelete"Festivus"... Oh, Seinfeld. You so silly :P
Nice job on making it before the holidays. Now I can safely waste my life away playing vidja games during my free time :D
Have fun yourself. (And Merry Christmas!)
Aria Whirl, lol.
ReplyDeleteActually, Pinkie brings up a good point. What exactly IS Marle's 'Aura' spell, anyway?
Also: Big MAAAACCCCCCC D:
1 amazing story telling, I don't care the overall plot is detailed for you the dialog is not and you've meshed the first 4 with their respective analogs very well.
ReplyDelete2 rarifrog? good god green is not her color
3 pinkie constantly breaking the 4th wall, excellent
4 rainbow pie shipping, approved
5 sir spike, yes, fucking awesome.
so thats 4 of the 6, Flutterobo and Applejayla next?
Loving this story looking forward to many, MANY, more chapters. At lest 32 more chapters (wink).
ReplyDeleteThis is a fun and quick little story. I like how you've written the Mane cast, they're really entertaining here! Just going through the sixth chapter, but I'm sure I'm going to read it to the end.
ReplyDeleteWait a minute ? ...is it just my memory being all fuzzy, but wasn’t this story in ‘’A’’ big Chapter before, no (not cut in chapters like that) ? CH.9 is new, but it doesn’t start where I remember stopping ? Well then... let’s find where I was...
ReplyDelete-----
CH.9 :
>Rainbow Dash bit down on the rotary tool in her mouth.
-A chainsaw... I somehow remember that. Also, I still remember wondering ‘Why’ this was even there in the first place (I also don’t remember where RD took it) ? There’s no chainsaw (weapon or equipment) in Chrono Trigger or MLP:FiM (yet), so ? (hopefully this is the ONLY place we will see it)
>I tried pushing it, pulling it, digging under it (...) licking it...”
-Suddenly, I wonder what the door tasted like (for real) ? ...mmh, I must ‘still be Hungry’. ;)
>I feel completely rested.”
>“Ugh... but I’m still totally starving
-‘’But you’re still hungry...’’ ;) One of the best-most used quote from the game. :)
>The Telekinetic Slash attack was enough to finish the monster for good.
-A combo attack with unicorn’s telekinesis, mmh... I suppose some liberties will (have to) be taken regarding the list of attacks of the ‘’ponified’’ characters of the game, and their mutual double and triple tech...
>“Awww, that does stink. Ooo, I know! Couldn’t you ask your mom and dad?” asked Pinkie Pie.
-Yeah, she could ask her dad and... wait... Twilight is Lucca here, right ? ...ooohh.
I smell side-quest here.
>As she flew closer, minute by minute, the jagged peak grew, consuming the other landmass.
-Mmh...having something (or somepony here) that can already ‘’fly around’’ everywhere, so early in the ‘’game/story’’ could be problematic (for the continuity, I mean) ?
Also, the dome near the base of Death Mountain is of little use, so early... a kinda unnecessary detour, right now.
>my last attempt at making Adhoofsive
-I really don’t get why the word ‘’hoof’’ was randomly put in the ordinary word ‘’adhesive’’ ? Really, it’s not like it substitutes a ’human thing’ in the word, or cleverly create a funny ‘play on the word’, or anything ? Just seems forced. Like, by example, ‘’elechoofcity’’.
(Also, why does she talk about it ‘’tasting bad’’... it’s adhesive ? It’s not like pony would put it in their mouth... since they would logically be using their hoof combined with the adhesive, and not their mouth/lips/tongue anymore to ‘’grab’’ their tools/etc.)
----
A relatively ‘ok’ part...
I only hope they don’t get TOO side-tracked, like going to the dome near Death Mountain so early, for little reasons (with a game like Chrono Trigger, the story promises to be long enough already) .
CH.10 :
ReplyDelete>“I do worry that nopony was down there working the controls. We’ve been in this era for almost an entire day, and we’ve only seen a few ponies back in Trott Dome.”
-Huh...? ...she travelled *outside* with the other 2, right ? Didn’t she see the APOCALYPTIC desolation all around her ?
One would think that something really horrible (and destructive) must have happened to, at the very least, this region... plus the state of the ponies in the previous dome.
>As the ponies slowly entered the room, they confirmed that the creature was in fact a large purple sea serpent
-Wait... Belthasar, the Guru of Reason, is Steven the Sea Serpent ?! ... ...I don’t know what to say, honestly ? Just... probably not the him, as one of the legendary gurus, I would say.
... I’m already starting to mildly *fear* or slight apprehend ‘’who’’ is gonna be the other 2 gurus ...
>you simply must see the Ocean Palace,” the sea serpent gasped, “and the Phoenix too. Just a few of my fantastic inventions.
-?...just a second... http://www.chronocompendium.com/Term/Ocean_Palace.html ...huh? Well, what do you know, he actually did make the Blackbird AND the Palace ?
I played the game several tens of time, but never paid attention to ‘what else’ Belthasar did (or maybe glanced over it every time), aside of the Epoch.
Interesting.
>“You’re programming... an alligator?”
-Gummy(s) as the Nu(s) ? Well, they have the same expression in their eyes. ;)
>“Alas, my dear Princess of Zeal. So graceful, so shy.
-Wait, what ? No! Fluttershy as Schala... Why ? I mean... shouldn’t the ‘main 6’ also had been the main characters of ChronoTrigger ?
There’s also 6 characters in the game, with the optional(but everyone always keep him) Magus. That would have been more than perfect. Seriously ?
>My grandson, Big Macintosh, went down there a few days back.
- ...mmh... I guess that a generic OC or background character couldn’t have been used there ? Oh well.
Prediction : AJ will be Robot. In the future, we have so far ‘’Granny Smith’’, dead-huh-I mean-alive Big Mac, next seems like a good guess.
-----
Also a pretty ‘ok’ chapter... except that I must ‘raise an eyebrow’ about the selection of some of the characters...
CH.11 :
ReplyDelete> “STRUCTURAL FAILURE. SELF-DESTRUCT IN FIVE... ”
>“Oh, son of a...!”
-Yay! We won ! ...*Self-destruction sequence initiated. Entire base will explode in 5seconds.*... Oh, Gods damnit !
Always relatively funny.
>“Mmm hmm,” came a drowsy, echoing reply from within the metallic shell.
-I have to say, it’s rather funny (and kinda cute, in a slightly creepy way) to picture RD comfortably installed in the metallic ‘’entrails’’ of the defeated Giant Robot ; sleeping. Mmh, nothing cozier to sleep on than your last defeated prey. Ask any cat. ;)
>“It’s some type of advanced information-fetching device!
-Google ?
...yeah, I couldn’t stop thinking this, when I read that line ;). Just sounds funny.
>1) Day of Lavos [recording damaged]
-Ah ? I wouldn’t have thought that his name would have been changed too, but I guess it’s better that way. Main ‘’bad guy’’, main plot point, main *insert many things in the game*... would have been pretty hard to change something like Lavos.
> a mighty spiked dome emerged, filling the twenty-meter hole
-Huh... maybe ‘in the game’ (when fighting it) he’s relatively ‘’small’’, but in the video of that scene he’s as big as a dome.
Describing him like ‘he’ appears on the video, would make the scene much more threatening and ‘’Oh gods ! Apocalyptic monster !’’ (like in the game), no ?
(Maybe just being a bit more ‘vague’ on the size, for the moment at least, a quick mention of ‘’how frightfully huge the thing appeared in the camera’’... something like that, you know ? Just a suggestion.)
-----
Well, of the 3 new Chapters, this was the one I personally preferred.
The scene with the revelation of Lavos’ apocalypse is probably one of *biggest* (if not the biggest) scene in the game... finding that ‘literally’ the fate of the whole planet is at stake, the duty to save everyone and prevent the nightmarish creature from becoming reality, the rush of adrenaline and excitement you can imagine the characters having from their new resolve...
It’s a scene that should be capitalized on more, for its significant effect in the game and on the characters.
(yeah, it’s one of my favourite scene in the game, does it show ? ;) )
@Nova25
ReplyDelete>Didn't this use to be one long document?
Yes it did. Sorry if that threw anypony else. There used to be one giant GDoc with Ch 1-8, but too many people complained that their browser had issues opening it, so I split it up into chapters. If you're in the same boat, resume at Ch9.
>New Techs
Yeah *shrug* to me, it seems like I'd be wasting an opportunity if I didn't add/modify a few Techs to account for the fact that they're ponies. I won't be taking too many liberties here, though, so expect to see most of the more-standard techs. Notably, Twilight will stop being such an Edgar clone soon enough.
>Ch 10 detour to Keeper's Dome
RD/PP helped lampshade my feelings for me :P Without getting into heavy CT spoilers... eventually, the plot requires you to revisit this dome. Yes, revisit. Even if you haven't been there before, your party advises you, "Hey, remember when we went to that one dome? Let's go back there." I'm sure people who've played the game (especially multiple times) know exactly what I'm referring to, lol. But unfortunately there's really not a reason to revisit 2300 AD between now and then. So I had to either visit there now, or invent a reason to come back later (which would still break the plot's flow). In general, while mapping this story out, I've noted a few other points in the plot where mandatory foreshadowing or initiating sidequests threatens to screw up the pacing; I'll be trying to smooth those points over.
>Steven Magnet are you serious?
A bit unorthodox, but yep. In CT canon, Balthasar's mind was extra-gone due to the solitude of 2300 AD. And if you've played Chrono Cross... Needless to say, I felt the role called for somepony who "thought outside the box".
>"So graceful, so shy." Wait, Fluttershy is Schala?!
O_O nooooooononono. *makes a note to fix those lines* That was very unfortunate phrasing on my part, sorry. Rest assured that the FIM Mane 6 will be the CT main 6.
>Big Mac
Even though CT killed a no-name here, it felt a bit cheap for me to do that... death of redshirts doesn't exactly pull much emotion. Of course, pulling Big Mac in (like I did) is cheap in its own way. Honestly, I considered cutting that scene altogether, but I was too concerned I'd be undermining the tone of this era.
>Lavos's size
I don't believe there's official consensus in the CT fandom, but I went with the size I did since it lines up with the battle sprites as well as the FMVs. The map sprite is much larger, but the scale on the map is questionable (Crono is taller than his house, for instance). But yeah, I was a little concerned I didn't do that scene enough justice.
>Pacing in general
This era has been a bit frustrating to write, since it seems to mandate a lot more paragraph descriptions of environments and character appearances than the eras before it. The earlier chapters were more focused on dialog and action, which I'm more comfortable writing and which is presumably more enjoyable reading. The change in tone starting at Ch9 probably shows... Overall, I'm doing what I can to keep the interest up, like interjecting the cutie mark tales in Ch9. I feel confident that I should be able to recapture the original tone by the time we leave 2300 AD, if not earlier.
Thanks again for all the feedback! It's quite helpful.
@Pav Feira
ReplyDelete>I'm sure people who've played the game (especially multiple times) know exactly what I'm referring to
-I, personally, as I said before, played this game easily around 30-40 times in total... but, I haven't played it since a few years.
And, anyway, I almost always went into the sewer just to get Chrono's sword upgrade (when not in New Game+, that is).
When you played enough time, you end up skipping parts, knowing that you will be back there later, I guess.
>Chrono Cross
-Never played the game, but I have seen a *very* thorough Let's Play of it, a few months ago...
>So graceful, so shy
-Yeeeah... I guess it's just the 'surprise' that amplified the unintended misinterpretation there... It just seemed like a clear description of Fluttershy, like something Photo Finish would say in fact. :) ...mmh? Photo Finish ?
... Anyway, those were interesting new Parts, in general ...
Hey....what happened to my long, winding comment about Roboshy?
ReplyDeleteSIIIIIGHHHH....here's the abridged version:
Applejack as Robo:
Could work, I guess. If you insist on giving AJ a hat, its easier to do it if she's from the future. Also, while I could imagine Robojack working for hundreds of years to restore a forest...Fluttershy strikes me as more likely to commit to that much nurturing.
AJ as Ayla:
AJ is much more likely than FS to become an Amazon queen and lead her tribe in the fight against Reptites/Dinomen (actually, would Reptites be humanoid? They could actually be just normal dinosaurs in a pony-world.) I can imagine her using lots of Rodeo cries as ambushes the Retites from behind while they surround the group the first time they meet her.
Roboshy's design:
Replace "Rocket Punch" with simply "Rocket" and "Uzi Punch" wish simply "Uzi". Did you know Robo has a gun for a hand in offical artwork that he NEVER uses? Replace the giant hydraulic pack on back with wings and possibly a much narrower hydraulic pack.
Robo might require a bit of a redesign for whichever pony you use. The pony version mother brain might be vain and actually design her robots with manes. Perhaps the hair actually serves a function like a Shadowrun Datajack or multiple adapters to harvest energy from various sources.
Also...I kind of prefer a closed mouth instead of the open wire mesh under the helmet (particularly if we made the wire mesh external as hair). The Teal orbs that make up Robo's eyes fit Fluttershy's eye color, but they could also be made for expression. Let me write a few scenes (which you can totally steal from me) to show this....next post
Chrono Dash: Ah! It's another killer robot!
ReplyDeleteTwiLucca: Calm down, Dash. I think its broken...seems different from the ones before, more pony-like.
Marle Pie: Aw...she looks so sad.
RoboShy: *The machine was in a dusty heap, its colors dulled to appear white and gray from the dirt that had clung to it. It was in the shape of a pegasus, with a mane made up of some sort of cables, most of which seemed to have been chewed on by the giant rats for the dome, some of the strands still ended in various plugs and adapters, but most of which had been severed. It's titanium snout had no mouth, but the darkened orbs it had for eyes had not just a blank expression, but one that seemed to betray terrible sadness and indolence.*
TwiLucca: Okay, I'm going to give it some juice!
Roboshy: *sparks violently, spirals out of control, eventually*
Crono Dash: Oh, geez, Twilight! It's going to explode! *sees Fluttershy stop in front of Pinkie, its eyes form small illuminated dots that dance around the orbs before focusing intently on Pinkie* Oh no, Pinkie Pie!
Marle Pie: *is unfazed by erratic behavior* Good Morning! *is yanked away from spastic robot by Rainbow* Whoa!
Roboshy: Mo....Good mourning, Mistress. How may I serve?
Marle Pie: *giggles* I'm not your mistress, you silly filly! I'm Pinkie Pie! And this is Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle here fixed you!
Roboshy: *bows to Twilight, the illumination with her eyes narrowing into horizontal slits as if being "closed"* I understand. Miss Sparkle repaired me.
TwiLucca: Um...could you just call me Twilight?
Roboshy: *entire eye glows brightly as illumination widens* Oh no! I wouldn't! I couldn't! That would be rude!
TwiLucca: No, I really would prefer if you just called me Twilight. I hate formal titles, don't you, Pinkie?
Marle Pie: Hate 'em! *laughs*
Roboshy: Oh. Um...all right, Twilight. Sorry.
Marle Pie: Aw, you don't need to be so nervous around us. You should try being more...I don't know, assertive or something.
Roboshy: *shrinks into corner* I am not really...programmed to be assertive.
Crono Dash: Yeah, I can kind of see that.
Marle Pie: So, what's your name?
Roboshy: Name? *eye-illumination blinks off and on* Oh, you must mean my cereal number. I am R66-Y.
Marle Pie: No, no, no, no! That's no good.
Roboshy: Its not? *eyes darken around corners* oh, I'm sorry.
Marle Pie: You need a better name! Hey, Dashie, what's a good pegasus name?
Crono Dash: Um...I'm thinking...Fluttershy?
Monster: RAAAARRR!
Roboshy: EEK! *Crosshairs from artwork appear on eyes, blink and beep for a second, then Fluttershy launches Rocket from launcher hidden in hoof, killing the monster instantly*
Other ponies: 0_0
Roboshy: *illumination shrinks into tiny dot* O-oh. Oh, I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking! Oh, what have I done!?
Crono Dash: OH MY GOSH, FLUTTERSHY! *tackles squeaking Robot and proceeds to give noogies* THAT WAS SO AWESOME!
Marle Pie: Hee hee, yeah!
TwiLucca: Nicely done, Fluttershy.
Roboshy: *illuminated dot widens and wavers* whimper...
Roboshy: *uses cure beam* There, there, Rainbow Dash, you're all better now. No need to cry. *eyes "close"*
TwiLucca: NO! FLUTTERSHY!
Crono Dash: *charges evil robot brothers* LET ME THROUGH! GET AWAY FROM HER YOU MONSTE- ARG! *is knocked back*
Roboshy: *is beaten up, one eye starting to blink out like its been damaged* N-no. Don't fight them over me...its alright. *good eye looks down to the ground* I'm a defect... *pause in the horrible beating ends, Fluttershy's chassis crunches and dents under the violence*
Tarta: Heeellpp! Monsters! *running from Goblins*
Roboshy: Oh my gosh! That little colt is in trouble! We must help him
Crono Dash: Are you kidding? After all that posturing? He seems to be pretty fast for a little guy in any-
Roboshy: *The stare*
Crono Dash: ....Let's help him.
@Xaos
ReplyDeleteFluttershy also have a bit of a wild side... pretty well hidden, yes, but with the right conditions... You get the Grand Gala and 'The Stare!'.
Ayla also have that one ability called 'Charm', and she essentially dominated animals... and Fluttershy on the other hoof is also capable of ''charming'' ponies, and has a lot of affinity with the wild life, more than with ''nature'' itself.
Yeah... I had also thought of Fluttershy has Robot, initially, but it was mostly because of some Robotshy pictures I had saw.
Considering the current cast of characters, plus the Granny Smith and Big Mac thing... Seems like AJ will be Robot, which kinda work well when we think about it.
Hard working pony, reliable, love working the ''land'' (good for that one side-quest)... and I just thought of one thing...
Atropos. *cough* Applebloom.
Though, I REALLY hope the end of that side-quest will differ a bit from the original... if the author use it.
...Just some of my thoughts on this.
In love with this story
ReplyDeleteChrono Trigger is the best game.
@Nova25 Braeburn. Braeburn was Toma from the Middle ages. Also, I kind of think Caramel would make a good "Kino."
ReplyDeleteBut then again, part of Kino's character was his masculine jealousy.
Apple Bloom's giant ribbon is a dead ringer to Atropos' giant ribbon, but I think that ship has sailed. Sweetie Belle (and its implied the other Cutie Mark Crusaders) were talking about making bells in the middle of chapter 6, also back in the Middle Ages. The party only heard snippits of their conversation, however. Also, they were apparently fully grown. But then, Atro-Bloom would have to be designed as an Adult to be threatening in either case as well.
Robo, as in the original Robo from the game, was a sensitive soul. Not that AJ wasn't sensitive. But if Fluttershy is Robo, then we get to see Her fall in love with a green and unspoiled planet when she's brought back in time.
Robo grew a heart over the game, and fell in love with the planet. Fluttershy actually might sing "So many Wonders" in this fic.
Charm, as little flirty for Fluttershy....
That being said though, they would both make good Robos.
Well, anyway, I guess we'll find out next update. I still stand by a lot I said about carefully considering Robo's design.
Heh, found this rather relevant picture :) : http://atlur.deviantart.com/art/Pony-Trigger-258013184 (except for Pinky Pie).
ReplyDelete@Xaos @Nova25 I don't want to tip my hand right now, since we're just a couple of chapters away from Robo's appearance, but hopefully you shouldn't be disappointed :)
ReplyDeleteStill Alive Update: I've got around another chapter-and-a-half in the draft folder, but I'm a bit unhappy with how Ch12 turned out, so looks like it's gonna need a fair bit of rewrite. Glad I sat on it... Plus, there's clearly high expectations for Robo's introduction, so gotta make sure that chapter comes out great too. ;) [Twilight]No excuses![/Twilight]
Just found this, looking very forward to reading it. Chrono trigger is and always will be my favorite game. (Playing it right now as a matter of fact).
ReplyDeletePreemptive update! Ch12 just got sent, and should be appearing in a Story Update soon. It is a bit on the short side. Now, before everyone (rightfully) complains that Tank could write this thing faster than I, I'll tease that Ch13 is 100% complete and Ch14 is well underway, in which everyone's favorite robotic party member is introduced, and the 2300AD arc is concluded. They should be worth the wait, and since a large chunk is already written, that wait should be a lot shorter than usual! I mean it this time!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, consider Ch12 an appetizer whilst I put finishing touches on the main course. Thanks as always!
Oh man. I forgot all about Johnny!
ReplyDeleteI was so confused for a moment.
"Wait. This isn't the scene where they introduce robo. And..yellow and orange? the hell?"
"It's....the Maaaaare!"
@_0
..."Oh. I feel like a giant asshole now. I need to turn in my Chrono Trigger fandom badge."
CH.12 :
ReplyDelete>We just need to hop back in time, stop the big old baddy from popping out of his hole and shooting its death-rays
-There also a giant trans-time-dimensional spaceship involved, somewhere down the line... but, details, details... ;)
>A blur of yellow and orange
>a feminine voice from the jet-pony. “Everypony cool their jets.”
>“It’s... the MARE!”
-...Spitfire ? For a second (JUST a single second), with the colors, I though it was going to be AJ, but that wouldn’t have been right.
Also... and I want to precise that I’m not complaining here... why couldn’t ‘He (Johnny)’ have remained a ‘’male character’’ ? Part of his style/charm was from his ‘’80’s(or something) Cool guy’’ cliché(stereotype?).
I mean, ‘S-P7F-R3’ does make for a somewhat clever serial-name for ‘Spitfire’, but... I don’t know... Soarin could have worked too ?
>Slow enough.
>Dive inside.
>Sun dammit!
>Not hollow.
>It’s caved in!
>No, flash of light.
>There’s a path!
>Wall.
>Twisted desk.
>I’m almost there.
>Faster.
>Faster.
>Ocean.
-LeFt, word!, RIGHT, pizza, uP, lEFt, banana, ~?CONFUSION?~
No... really... Not sure, if this is one of those case, where people usually say ‘’show, don’t tell’’ or the inverse or something ?.. but... It might gain from a FEW less 1-2words ‘’sentences’’, in favor of some slightly more ‘’cinematic’’ descriptions/sentences of what’s happening. Maybe. Just a suggestion.
-----
Mmh... well... *cough*. It was... an ‘ok’ chapter, all things considered.
I mean, Spitfire as ‘Johnny’ works if we think about the speed and racing, and more-or-less good when it comes to matching his ‘’special-cool attitude’’ he displays in the game.
Also, while I ‘may’ get the thing with the flurry of super-short sentences... to simulate, I guess, ‘fast action stuff’... I think it may have beneficed from a more (epic-like)cinematic approach. Maybe a mix of both.
@Nova25
ReplyDelete*benefited (not 'beneficed''). Translation trouble.
Bahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteAnd to think I had JUST been playing CT and renaming all the characters after ponies.
...But naming Robo after Big MacIntosh was a bad idea... but it fit so well!
You know, I actually went back and tested if Frog was strong enough to save Leene on his own.
ReplyDelete-Crono and Lucca got as low HP as possible (with Crono going down vs. the Nagas) during the early fights. They usually went down after one hit in each fight and were not allowed to fight back at all. (Well, there was a point that I healed Frog with a Shelter just before going to fight Yakra, but they went down just the same)
-I ONLY used the items Frog started with and those found in the cathedral. (I accidentially opened a chest which contained a tonic, but I used that up before meeting up with Frog, and I kind of forgot to unequip the Sightscope, but that's not much of a tactical advantage) no stocking up on healing potions for you!
-No new game+! (duh)
-No retreating to recover HP and MP in some other way. (You can get fully healed for free by having the chef cook meals for you in the castle) No rest until the Queen is safe! Let's at least TRY to maintain the illusion or urgency, shall we?
anyway, my final score:
0 MP. 0 Ethers and Tonics. 84 HP. Iron Sword replaces Bronze Sword. Speed belt replaces Power glove.
If Frog had to fight five Nagas at the start (the four Lucca and Crono had to defeat, plus the one that surprised them), or if I had gone for the Bromide or otherwise got in anymore fights than I did, or maybe if I had not equipped the speed belt despite going out of my way to visit Magus' statue...I might've gone down.
but, then again, I made way too much use of the Slurp Cut vs. Yakra. I could've saved the MP for more Slurps, and even avoided fights to NOT learn the Slurp Cut. I was just panicking with the Slurp Cut, but really, its twice as expensive as Slurp and adds maybe 20-ish damage vs. Yakra vs. 41 HP per Slurp. 82 HP is just about how much health I had left after this...
So, I'm going say that: yes. Frog could take Yakra and his minions on. If he is cautious enough.
Hm...Predictions of characters to come:
ReplyDeleteAyla = Applejack
Robo = Fluttershy (as if that wasn't obvious)
Schala = Celestia (duh)
Gaspar = Doctor Whooves
Spekkio = Discord (hey, they both change shapes)
Melchior = Derpy (not the best, but they both travel a lot, and have weird things happen to them)
Dalton = Blueblood
Still don't have any ideas for Zeal, though...I'll leave that to you.
@Leo Archon
ReplyDeleteActually, instead of Derpy for Melchior, Zecora might fit better. That'd be interesting.
I forget, Pav; did you show off the scene in the fair where Melchior tried to get Crono to sell Marle's pendant? I don't think you did.
@Leo Archon
ReplyDeleteHo ho, someone finally called me on that. No, I skipped Melchior at the fair, since I didn't want to delay the Telepod scene any more than necessary. It didn't make much sense when returning from 600AD either; Ch6 was fairly disjointed enough as it is! Rest assured, we'll get introduced soon enough.
And hey, why not a status update? Ch14 is about 80% done or so (Y U write so slooow), and it's shaping up to be the longest chapter to date. Together with Ch13, we're looking at about 13k words. Also giving a shout-out to Dublio who's giving me (especially my old chapters) quite a bit of red ink! The new chapters should hopefully have a lot less glaring issues. Also, once Ch13&14 go live, I'll be doing a bit of polishing on the older chapters (not a rewrite or anything; just fixing some grammarz) before diving back into Ch15.
@Pav Feira
ReplyDeleteHeh. I know it's a long ways away, but I'm both looking forward to and dreading the first encounter with Lavos. I'm just wondering how much emotion you'll be able to portray with text.
I recommend having Frog, Ayla, and Robo go through the scenes afterwards, since I think both Twilight and Pinkie are going to be having a serious BSOD moment.
One thing bothers me about your writing style, though: Whenever you mention a character by name outside of conversation, you always use their full name or title. You never shorten their names to just "Rainbow", "Pinkie", "Twilight", etc. outside of conversation. I only caught this in my third read-through of this fic today (yes, I have no life). When you retool the other chapters, be sure to address this. I mean, there's not more than one pony who's first name is "Twilight", right?
@Leo Archon
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed! I've definitely been giving plenty of thoughts to major scenes like that one, and I have a pretty good idea of how I'll "stage" those scenes. I too hope that I'll be able to convey enough emotion to these pivotal moments!
>I mean, there's not more than one pony who's first name is "Twilight", right?
http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Family_and_relatives#Parents_2
Twilight's mom may also be named Twilight. :trollface:
I kid, I kid. Yeah, that was an intentional style choice. Sure, it's no problem for another character to call her Rainbow/Dash/Dashie/RD. But I consider those all to be nicknames, and it just feels too informal (I guess?) for the impersonal narrator to use a nickname over an actual name. (inb4 somepony points out the numerous instances where my narrator gets sloppy or informal :P I said I'ma fix those!)
And yeah, it's just personal headcanon, but I do consider "Rainbow" and "Dash" to be nicknames, rather than first and last names. I'd point to the fact that the Apple family doesn't share a "last name", or the staggering number of times that the ponies refer to each other by full name (how often do you refer to a friend by first+last name?). But again, that's just headcanon.
@Pav Feira
ReplyDeleteI think I'd be able to agree with that stylistic choice, if it weren't for one thing. You're using a 3rd-person limited narrator. That is, most of the story is focused around Rainbow and her perspective of things. It's not 1st-person, but it's close enough that I think it'd warrant the use of shortened names outside of conversation. Well, at least you aren't afraid to use pronouns. Because that would REALLY clutter the GoogleDoc's space.
And really, you're trying to apply human naming conventions to ponies? That is what we call an exercise in futility. Ponies may not share last names in a family, but they do share a theme (Applejack, Applebloom, Big Macintosh, Granny Smith, etc.). You've even done this with Twilight's father, giving him the name Night Light. Speaking of which, would Midlight be a good name for her mother?
One more thing to keep in mind; in the main CT story, we NEVER hear anyone's last name aside from Marle's (or rather, Nadia's), and even then, it's never explicitly said (we can assume her name is Nadia Guardia). Just some food for thought.
One last comment, and then I'll stop bugging you... at least until the next chapter comes out.
ReplyDeleteAccording to research, a mach cone forms when something is traveling at Mach 5. That's 5 times the speed of sound. Rainbow forms a mach cone in preparation to perform the Sonic Rainboom. So, technically, Rainbow could have broken the sound barrier without making a Sonic Rainboom. Might wanna address this little fact when you start polishing the chapter in which the Sonic Rainboom is discussed.
This leads into a little something I'd like to see happen: Spitfire and Rainbow's rematch. Spitfire keeps climbing higher and higher into the sky, trying to avoid all the obstacles. Then one or both of her engines malfunction. She starts dropping like a rock, and Rainbow goes to rescue her, and pulls off a Sonic Rainboom in the process. Note: Twilight must be present, so she can eat her words about Rainbow not doing the Rainboom.
What do you think?
Oh yeah! I meant to ask you something, Pav!
ReplyDeleteOne of the things that always bothered me about Chrono Trigger is how you are forced to only take three people out of six or seven to go fight Lavos, although everyone (especially the guy who can't do triple techs) has beef with him.
It also has certain things like Side-Quests which REQUIRE a certain character, and the game forces you to change characters at any given moment.
Now, this is just because of game mechanics infringing on the story (you can change party members just by pressing Y, even if you are nowhere near a Gate. How does that work, exactly?). Now, the whole "more than three people result in everyone being banished to the end of time" plot device IS necessary for the party to go to the End of Time.
But what exactly is stopping TwiLucca from say, building a second Gate Key? Or even a third one? Actually, heck. Maybe Mag-Luna/Nightmare Magus gets her own key and goes it solo, only to constantly meet up with the group at regular intervals, much to her annoyance.
eh. Just a thought.
In other news, I DID actually think about how Alyashy's attacks might work through animals, but that brings up questions about how she brings all her animals with her through the gates. Applejack is generally the "strong" character of the mane six, and just seems to fit better. Robo would also be served by being 'played' by a strong replacement character in a similar crossover story, but it isn't necessary because Robo is a Robot and all his muscles exist purely in his hydraulics. The pony that plays Robo doesn't really need to be one known for their strength or tenacity, because they will have those things built/programmed into them by virtue of being a robot that doesn't need to exercise OR rest.
@Xaos
ReplyDeleteWeird. I had this image of Roboshy building a second Gate Key at the End of Time, having scanned the first one. I'm under the belief that the EoT holds some sort of aether-like substance which can build things. How else did Gaspar build his little waystation?
What made this image funnier, in my view, is that a couple of guards in Equus were harassing Twilucca and Crono Dash. The guards were about to drag them back to the castle dungeons, with Chancellor Scratch nearby, gloating. Enter Roboshy. Roboshy sees her friends getting hurt. Roboshy uses Stare on the guards and Scratch. Guards and Scratch high-tail it for the castle. Twilucca, Crono Dash, and Marle Pie stare slack-jawed at Roboshy. Roboshy gets embarrassed.
Probably not going to happen, but hey! One can dream, right?
@Leo Archon
ReplyDelete>Mach 5
*facehoof* That's right! She's been flirting with sub-Rainboom speeds, so she'd still create a normal sonic boom on the way there. Which, notably, would've been heard in the backstory in Ch9. Good catch!
>RD's first actual Sonic Rainboom
@Xaos
>Gate Key(s)?
I've got a few ideas in mind :P Though, a lot of them don't get fully revealed until the second half of the story. It's a curse and a blessing though; I'd never forgive myself if I quit before I get to write all the juicy plot twists. So rest assured, this story will see closure even if it takes forever. Tenacity. Gesundheit.
>Fluttershy animal assists
Yeah, I had similar issues with the idea. We probably won't see the Mane 6 traveling with critters or pets. Probably. Fluttershy's animal empathy will likely surface in other ways, though.
Ha HA! Fluttershy as Robo! I KNEW IT! Made total, perfect sense!
ReplyDeleteI guess this just means Aylajack is the last member by default, with Nightmare Moon being Luna. :D
I still wonder who Queen Zeal is going to be...Tyrant Celestia, perchance? xD
This is the best, and you are the best for writing it.
ReplyDelete... Woah! But... Dude! No warning at all?! XD Guess I'm not pre-reading anymore, which is fine, but a warning that I wasn't going to be woulda been nice! It's not like I would have gotten mad or anything... Crap, now I'm depressed, and class is about to start. ~_~ At least I'll have a couple of new chapters to ead AFTER class, so I guess that's something.
ReplyDelete~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
p.s. Put this on Fimfic, dude! It needs more publicity, and it's easier to comment there IMO! XD
@Magical Trevor Aww, *brohoof* you just seemed super-swamped with RL stuff, from your FimFic posts. I didn't want to overburden you further. Don't worry, it won't happen again ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd yep, the latest chapters should be up on FimFic now. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/2442/My-Little-Chrono-Triggers-Are-Magic
Oh my gosh, oh mygosh, OHMYGOSH!
ReplyDeleteROBOSHY! And her design is absolutely INSPIRED! /Rarityvoice
Also, I LOVE how you left Rainbow behind. Take that, "Main Character!" XD
@chapter 14:
ReplyDeleteRainbow, you dork! (I actually said the same thing when Rainbow realized she liked books and said "I'm an EGGHEAD!")
Oh, and I LOVED the scene with Rainbowmina Diane Dash. Mrs. Board is the BEST hostess
ReplyDeleteAwesomesauce. And, as is the norm, you don't hurt Fluttershy's friends and get away with it.
ReplyDeleteAnd I came up with a scientific explanation for why Aylajack makes more sense than Aylashy. Namely, evolution. Earth ponies were the only kind of pony back in the prehistoric age, as they're not capable of innate magic. Pegasi and unicorns evolved in response to changes in the world (changes which I'm sure you'll cover in a later update, as they are plot related). So, Aylajack won't have seen pegasi or unicorns before, and will comment on her visitors' unique assets.
An excellent set of chapters, and I look forward to the End of Time, where I firmly believe Dr. Whooves is waiting. I also look forward to Palomedina Village, and the revelation of who Melchior's equivalent is. I'm pulling for Zecora.
Calling it right now. The soup/poi drinking contest will be replaced with cider. The extra challenge from the poi being gross or super-filling gets translated to the cider being alcoholic. Bonus points for implying anything AppleDash happened offscreen afterwards.
ReplyDeleteI can't help myself. I've come up with some dialogue to be used at certain points.
ReplyDelete*After retrieving the Hero Medal and showing it to Frog, the others take the hilt of the Masamune and begin to leave. Rainbow pauses for a moment.*
Rainbow: Hey, Frog! Heads up! *tosses Hero Medal to Frogity*
Frog: *catches Hero Medal with magic, and blinks* But... why?
Rainbow: You may not think it, but you'll get your chance to prove yourself a hero, sooner or later. So long as you keep that medal, it's only a matter of time. *smiles at Frogity*
Frog: *is silent for a moment* Rainbow Dash... why do you say such things to me?
Rainbow: *pauses for a moment* Because I believe in you. Make of that what you want. *flies off*
Frog: She... believes in me? *thinks about it* Perhaps... perhaps what she's saying... is that I should believe in myself. *looks skyward* Sir Spike... do you believe in me?
*The group has arrived at Zecora's hut in 1000 AD to ask about the Masamune*
Zecora: Ah, welcome back, my traveling friends. Might I interest you in some new weapons?
Twilight: Actually, we're here to ask about one weapon in particular. *pulls out the pieces of the Masamune*
Zecora: *eyes widen* Methinks my eyes are playing tricks on me. Is that the Masamune I see?
Rainbow: So you DO know about it!
Fluttershy: Um, I don't mean to be rude, so don't answer if you don't want to, but why is your name on the Masamune's hilt?
*Zecora is silent for a moment as she thinks about it*
Zecora: Many years ago, I forged this blade. Twas the greatest work I had ever made. It saddens me to see it cleft in two. Only with Dreamstone can it be renewed.
Pinkie Pie: Dreamstone? What's that? Is it tasty? What's it taste like? Where do you find it? How do you -
*Rainbow sticks a hoof in Pinkie's mouth*
Rainbow: Calm down, Pinkie!
Zecora: To seek Dreamstone is a futile task. This rock went extinct in days long past.
Twilight: Seriously?
Zecora: Of Dreamstone alone was the Masamune made. Without more, it shall ever be a broken blade.
Rainbow: Well, I guess we'll call you if we find any.
@Leo Archon Those rhymes are Alicorn-Tier.
ReplyDelete@Leo Archon There's another level of validity to your evolution theory. The Dark Ages, when exposure to the evolution-inducing effect was at a maximum. That is when we get our alicorns, as the highest class of nobility amongst the ruling magical elite. There's even some parallels between their ability to move large celestial bodies and suspending a floating continent.
ReplyDelete@General Patton
ReplyDelete<Those rhymes are Alicorn-Tier
Aw, thank you! I came up with those on the spot. I'm REALLY hoping Zecora turns out to be Melchior.
<Evolution and Dark Ages
Thanks for the support on this. Of course, it means Aylajack won't get any magic of her own, since she came from a time before magic.
One other thing I'd like to see happen: 'Nightmare Moon' is just a mask of sorts that Luna created when she was flung to the Middle Ages by Lavos (as if that's a spoiler). She was surrounded by Mystics, so she created a mask that would appeal to them. She eventually became the mask, but (as with Magus) she remained true to her goal of defeating Lavos.
By the way, Pav, it's a little late to be asking this, but is this based off of the DS version of Chrono Trigger?
Delayed response is delayed. In fairness, I was at the office at 4am one day this week :< But enough of my excuses...
ReplyDelete>Zecora
I have to agree that your rhymes are sick.
I can't believe that you wrote them so quick!
Thinking about writing Zecora leaves me fearful,
Though if I omit her, readers will give me an earful.
So, as with every new character, it's a matter of practice.
I'll write them convincingly if I can just keep at this.
You're eager for the next chapters, and so am I.
You wouldn't get this from any other guy.
I just want to tell you *is shot*
>Evolution
It's a really interesting angle, but some of the implications worry me (and once again makes me long for spoiler tags. Since there's a surprisingly number of readers who haven't played CT yet (which they shouuuuld), I don't want to ruin anything for those readers.) That said, the biggest problem I see is that this would imply that ALL earth ponies are magicless.
>Version
I guess if I had to pick one, I'd say this is most based on the English SNES script, since that's where most of my nostalgia is rooted. However, I've been cherry-picking from the Japanese SNES script and English DS script as suits my needs. If the question is specifically "Will we see the DS-exclusive content?", I'm unofficially leaning toward "no" ATM.
CH.13 :
ReplyDelete>She was motioning toward the large silver door that stood predominantly on the back wall of the room.
-Why are they acting as if ‘’Robo’’ wasn’t in the same room ? ...because, you know, when you come into the place(at the end of the place), Robo’s body is right in the middle of the floor waiting to be repaired (quite hard to miss really)... not in a pit or shadowy corner.
>The object that was captivating her attention slowly levitated out of the pit and into the air.
-Was ‘’being in the middle of the floor’’, like in the game, too obvious ?
>At a sufficient distance, one might easily mistake her for a living pegasus.
-Whaaaaaaaaat ?? (sigh) god damnit... I’m seriously disappointed by that choice, even more than with the choice for Frog’s character(or Marle, which was just *shrug*).
For crying out loud... We had Big Mac, we had Granny Smith, all in the future, but nooooooo... Not AJ.
Would have made too much sense and worked too well with the fact that 2 other members of the apple family are there, and that Applebloom could essentially have been (very easily) Atropos ; bringing the whole family full circle... but, nooooo... of course. (How do you bet that it’s mostly because of those 1-2 pictures of Fluttershy as Robo ?)
Quite disappointed (and annoyed, honestly), at the moment.
>“Okay! Flipping the power switch,” Twilight Sparkle excitedly replied
>“You moron!” groaned Rainbow Dash. She shoved her friend backward, out of harm’s way.
-...huh ...what the hell was that ? Did RD went dumb/crazy for a second, with a reaction like that ?
>Great, now Twi’s getting an over-inflated ego, she thought. That’s the last thing this team needs.
-Says *Rainbow Dash*, which is also in the role of Chrono Trigger, the main character in the game... yeah.
>You see, I’ve always held a deep love for all living things. The flowers and trees, the critters big and small
-And you own an orchard, and later will terraform a desert into an ENTIRE forest over the course of 400 YEARS (clearly a hard working character), and... wait, no, you don’t...
I swear... Robo dares show a few emotions here and there (plus 1-2 healing techs), and then some people instantly believe he equals Fluttershy ? Really ?
Also, who’s even gonna be Fluttershy’s Atropos ? Angel (can’t be serious) ?
This also kinda makes the presence/use of Big Mac and Granny Smith as nothing more than a vulgar tease, you know ?
>“Oh hell yeah! We’re back in action.”
>“Language, Rainbow.
-...is that even necessary ? Seems a bit(quite) ridiculous to call on her ‘’language’’, because she says ‘’hell’’. They aren’t religious nuns from the middle age... not stuck up nobles.
>“What? No. Very much no. You’re not allowed to leave me behind. I’m supposed to be the leader!”
-So... does a troop of angry fans enters now or later ?
Really, what kind of decision is this ? You are NOT allowed to go without Chrono before a LOOOOOONG time in the game... This is very, incredibly bad decision.
I’m simply flabbergasted this was even considered by the author... I’m questioning the direction this story is taking, with decisions and bad changes like that.
-----
Well written, and that’s all that part was... because almost every significant elements there was, were rather (severely for 2 of them) disappointing.
I, me, for one and personally, considers the decision of making Fluttershy(and not AJ) as Robo, to be a bad idea, and the one to cut Chrono/RD from the team, at a point where he ABSOLUTELY shouldn’t, to be a terrible one.
That is all.
@Drakengarde
ReplyDeleteMaking sense ? For real ?
Applejack is THE one that is the working pony around, dealing with trees and stuff, and owns a (apple)orchard... and she would be Ayla ? The prehistoric Ayla that deals with *ANIMALS* ?
And, Fluttershy that deals and is officially recognized as THE mare that deals and care with all kinds of animals, and can submit to her will dragons and Cerberus... is stuck as Robo, which is a working robot that doesn't fear to help people, and at some point plant an ENTIRE *forest* over a DESERT!
Yes. Makes perfect sense... in the World of Bizzarro.
(sigh)
@Nova25
ReplyDeleteI notice how you're quick to say that Ayla deals with animals... when the one technique she has that has outside help is Dino Tail. Ayla has to BEAT UP animals to protect her village. Fluttershy wouldn't do that. Fluttershy is a Friend to All Living Things as the trope goes. So, planting a forest (and providing homes for countless animals) is well within her character.
And, as I said before, it makes sense for pegasi to not have existed in the prehistoric age. Earth ponies, sure. Pegasi and unicorns, not so much. Remember, Ayla is the one character in the game who can't deal any kind of damage aside from physical. Sounds like AJ to me.
And really, you're complaining about Pav detracting from the canon NOW? I think it's pretty clear by this point that Pav doesn't just intend for this to be a glorified walkthrough of CT, but a story in its own right. The fact that he had Twilight as Rainbow's lawyer, as well as stripping both of them of their equipment while in prison (which makes sense) should have proved that.
My points have been made. I await your rebuttal.
@Pav Feira
ReplyDelete>Evolution
I didn't mean to imply that at all! I just meant that, since AJ is going to be our resident pre-historic pony, that she wouldn't get magic, as she existed in a time before magic was made real
And seriously, people! If you haven't played Chrono Trigger by this point, you ought to go to Ebay or Amazon, find a copy (SNES or PS1, preferrably), and play! This game is awesome, and it pains me to know that there are people who haven't been introduced to the wonders of this game. Sidequests, music, techniques (though Double and Triple Techs aren't really worth the hype)... this game has it all. And unlike other JRPGs, the sidequests are actually MODERATELY USEFUL for you! What a concept!
Ahem. Sorry, I channeled HCBailly there for a moment.
>Version
Quick question: Masamune or Granleon (or however the phrack it's spelled)?
@Leo Archon
ReplyDeleteWhile making a point, you also partially contradict yourself... or rather you way too quickly glance over a detail you said yourself.
This story is the 'Chrono Trigger' game ponified by the author... It is *ponified*, meaning that the characters(and some of the content) of the game will be/are slightly altered to better fit their MLP:FiM counterpart... yes... meaning that with bare-minimal changes, Ayla makes for an excellent Fluttershy.
(the 'no pegasi/unicorn in prehistoric time' thing is a nonsense, really. Stuff were flying in that era too, you know... and magic DOESN'T have to be as strong and controllable and diversified as it is today, obviously).
Fluttershy : Deep love and care of *animals* (not trees, like AJ *cough*apple orchard, and Bloomberg*cough*) of all sorts... can also ''snap'' a bear's neck for his own good, make a DRAGON cry and see the errors of his way, out-will a cockatrice petrifying gaze to save friend(s)/children, threats THE Cerberus as if a little puppy... and I probably forgot one or 2 things that shows how much she loves animals and creatures, BUT! is also able to take actions(non-lethal ones, mind you) in order to save or help other ponies.
(also, wanting to be a tree doesn't exactly qualify for being a tree-lover and/or wanting to plant a WHOLE forest for 400 years).
Applejack, aside from other details I mentioned, is deeply related to her apple orchard and her family.
Caring for the many trees of her orchards, with some being even more, like Bloomberg, having a special place/meaning for her.
A minor adaptation for Atropos, passing from vague love interest/friend to little sister, would 'greatly' benefit the emotional response that Robo gets later in the game... and would, to a lower level, connects very nicely with the already 2 other ''apple family members''(though not related, in this story, I believe) present in the 'Future Era' of the game.
The dedication (aside from just the 'Robo is a robot' thing) necessary to farm/plant/terraform a *desert*, of all terrains, to make it suitable to create a lush forest... is WAY more explainable and strong, from AJ's perspective and love (and stubbornness, some might say) for the forest, than with Fluttershy.
There's more to be said... but, it's getting late here, between other things.
@Nova25
ReplyDeleteAnd here, you demonstrate that you ignored an earlier comment from Pav, who said that he wasn't planning on just search-replacing Crono with Rainbow Dash in the script. The changes Pav has made to the game make it its own story, rather than a glorified walkthrough, as I said.
And I stand by my statement on evolution. Just because there were things that could fly back then, doesn't mean that PONIES could fly. And magic came about in the Dark Ages, several million years later. Since pegasi control the weather, they possess innate magic, it's just different from unicorn magic. Not to say earth ponies don't have magic of their own, but again, it's on a different wavelength than unicorn magic. I'm under the impression that in this fic, earth pony magic is more 'natural' than unicorn or pegasus magic.
And you clearly ignored the fact that I said planting a forest would provide homes for countless animals, which is well within Fluttershy's character. Again, Fluttershy is a Friend to ALL living things, which includes plants. Why do you think she lives near a forest?
Also, think about the characters themselves: Robo is a gentle spirit in a metallic frame, while Ayla is a more rough-and-tumble girl. In terms of characterization, Applejack is clearly more in tune with Ayla than with Robo. Plus, AJ isn't exactly a thinker, and Robo is rather intelligent. I'm not saying that Fluttershy is a perfect Robo, but she's not the rough type like Ayla is. I can more readily see Fluttershy taking hits from her 'sisters' than AJ. AJ would more than likely fight back.
Next thing: AJ is (at least unofficially) in charge of Sweet Apple Acres. She's in a position of leadership. That makes her closer to Ayla than Fluttershy.
Finally, Applebloom and Braeburn have already been shown to be in the Middle Ages, therefore, your argument for Applebloom being Atropos is moot.
Bah, this bickering is pointless. If you don't like the changes that have been made to the original game, then don't read it. No one's making you read it. I personally enjoy a detraction from canon now and then.
I was planning to lurk until Nova finished the rest of his Ch13-15 comments, but I guess now's as good a time to jump in.
ReplyDeleteI mentioned this way back in November, but before I put pen to paper, I spent a few weeks lining up all my casting decisions. In terms of the main cast, the only completely obvious matchup was Twi=Lucca. Every other role had multiple matchups that could work. Chrono, being a silent protagonist, could honestly be anypony. Putting RD as Marle could result in a few lulz, plus the tomboyish nature would fit. I do partially regret that I wasn't able to cast PP as Ayla (PinkiePie!Ayla is best Paella). As you point out, AJ could've made an excellent Robo.
My concern was more toward the fit of the ensemble, moreso that individual characters. "If Pinkie is Ayla, she can't also be Marle. So I need to move RD to Marle, leaving Fluttershy as Chrono?" What I wanted to avoid was having five really good matches, and one bad process-of-elimination match. It may mean that each individual role was not cast optimally, but as a full team of six, it was (IMHO) the best group match. I'm sure that before I finish, someone is going to come forward with a more-optimal casting lineup that I somehow missed, much to my chagrin, but overall I'm happy with the current lineup. In my mind, the least-explained matchup right now is Rarity as Frog, but that should be rectified in time.
In terms of Fluttershy as Ayla, I don't personally see it. "Hurricane Fluttershy" hit the nail on the head quite well: she's capable of awesome feats in an emergency, but in the day-to-day, she's just sweet old Fluttershy. Meanwhile, Ayla is quite a physical woman, living in a time of constant strife. You could argue that "perpetual strife == perpetual Flutterrage", but I think that would tire the poor girl out. So if I'd moved AJ to Robo, I would've had to move Fluttershy elsewhere too, like Marle perhaps. Yadda yadda, ensemble casting. *ponyshrug*
I'll circle back on the other points later. Just wanted to drop this point in first.
@Leo Archon
ReplyDelete...sigh.
>And here, you demonstrate that you ignored an earlier comment from Pav, who said (...)
-I'm there since the very beginning and I can read, thank you. I'm perfectly aware of what he says.
And here I thought this was supposed to be a discussion about the (theorical) proper matching of game-character(s) to MLP:FiM-character(s), following their own characteristics from the game/series...
>I stand by my statement on evolution. Just because there were things that could fly back then, doesn't mean that PONIES could fly. And magic came about in the Dark Ages, several million years later.
-You speak of ''evolution'', yet... it seems you choose to apply/think it only half-way, so to speak.
You say that :
»*ONLY* Earth ponies could exist, ''because''... flying is apparently magic, and magic didn't ''exist'' because it's a hard fact that it only appeared during the Dark Age, in Chrono Trigger (funny, considering how you keep hammering the fact that the author isn't following/making a walkthrough story and is free to modify the original parameters of the game)...
»That, even though other creatures were perfectly able to fly (without magic, mind you), pegasi can't exist, because... I'm not quite sure... because they can stand on clouds, and that's like magic or something ? And then, we loop back to your loop about 'magic' and stuff...
The thing is :
*Evolution*... 'Pony(ies)' is the species(or sub-species I suppose, if we go from Equine->Pony, then the sub-categories of ponies), and the Earth Pony/Pegasus/Unicorn are the different races, like skin colors for humans in a way.
»Stronger legs and body(in general) for the Earth Ponies,
»wings and lighter frame to fly a bit in order to escape and dodge land predators for the Pegasi,
»horns (and probably a slightly higher average intellect) for the Unicorns to help protect themselves, because of a weaker contitution...
»With time, Earth Ponies became more versatile, in order to better make use of their ''land-bound'' capabilities,
»Pegasi, through focused use of their wings and need to fly, at some point around the Dark Age era, became able to better make use of their aerial superiority (through the *beginning* of weather manipulation and clouds walking),
»Unicorns, because of their slightly higher intellect (averagely, more them in those days) and weaker constitution, developed progressively and to much greater extent, a connection to magic in order to compensate for their general lack of strength and such...
In a few words : a process of continuous change in a certain direction, from a lower, simpler, or worse to a higher, more complex, or better state.
-So you see... it would be nonsensical to remove pegasi and unicorns from prehistoric time just because in the FUTURE they can use magic(or magic-like abilities).
Remove magic, and you have perfectly-able-to-live beings, more ''physical'' than their future counterpart... like it was the case for humans, in a way.
-----
>Bah, this bickering is pointless.
-Pretty sure everyone would agree to disagree, at this point... some saying that, in the end, it comes to 'preferences'.
Personally, I stand by logic and life experience(s), not by a handful of emotions, to link a character to another... but that's just me.
>If you don't like the changes that have been made to the original game, then don't read it. No one's making you read it.
-How do dislike and disapprove of such weak-and-easy excuse for a response...
You should know better than to say a weak thing like that to someone ; especially when that someone has been loyally reading every single previous chapters made so far.
CH.14 :
ReplyDelete>“She seemed so upset. I think perhaps we shouldn’t have left her alone.”
-*cough* ...not saying anything. Nope.
>Her eyes wandered around the room, before pausing on an object at the far end of the dome. She arched an eyebrow in consideration.
-Found a gaming console, maybe ? ...that would almost be funny.
>If I can extract those components out of this arm, I might be able to use it to enhance some of my weapons.
-Sooo... they aren’t gonna ‘’find’’ weapons in chests, as much as they are gonna ‘’craft’’ them now ? (yes, I know MUCH later in the game that some weapons are ‘’crafted’’, but here I mean for the general ‘item/weapon-finding’ thing.)
>So you take two products, neither of which you created, combine them, and the result is your original creation? Is this inventing?
-Robo just didn’t have access to his original memory... he wasn’t dumb, from what I recall...
... RD playing with improvised ‘’action-toys’’ ? I guess it’s somewhat funny ...
>I know that robots are unable to feel pain
-This is a really debatable detail there...
It isn’t really specified in the game that ‘’advanced robots’’(Like Robo, Atropos, Johnny...) can’t feel ‘’pain’’ (or at least a close simulation of it). And, there’s plenty of Sci-Fi material to show that it IS possible for them, bearing that they have to proper component or program installed.
>I don’t think I could bring myself to fight like you.” She jolted and began stammering apologetically.
-Well, that’s not gonna make fights awkward or anything ? Hopefully, the next boss fight is gonna ‘’update’’ her view on things...
>“I guess this door is locked. It’s saying that we need a clearance code.”
>“A-E-I-O-U!” Pinkie Pie gleefully parroted.
-And thus, the Internet People laughter-out-loud...
>The fans of the climate control system whirred
-For just a fraction of a second... I though it was talking about RD. (like, the ‘’fan’’ of weather control, or something)
-----
It was a pretty ‘ok’ chapter. The things happening in the N.Factory are being compressed a little, which is good (and necessary) I suppose ; since the place is rather short anyway, when we think about just the ‘line/sequence of actions’ itself, that we have to do.
CH.15 :
ReplyDelete>She countered with a salvo of crossbow bolts >the bolts were not enough to stop her attacker’s pounce.
-Quick ! Use ‘Flame toss’ one row at the time ! (I would tell them to use ‘Cyclone’ on 2 at the time too, for a quick and easy kill, but...). Marle is really not that good for that fight.
>“Fluttershy?” gasped Pinkie Pie.
>Fluttershy turned back. Jerkily, she lifted a hoof, pointing it accusingly at her sister.
-I know that the author is ‘’adapting’’ the game to fits his needs, but still... (sigh)
At least ‘’flutter-robo’’ is doing something other than passively cowering in fear, and actually hitting something.
>her trunk shattered, sending her broken halves tumbling to the ground.
-I wonder if ‘robot disembowelment’ counts as grimdark ? Also, not really necessary... just falling deactivated on the ground, quite damaged, wasn’t doing it or ? (instead of being cut in half, with her ‘’oil’’ leaking everywhere and bits of stuff)
>“I can’t! Just look at this,” wailed Twilight Sparkle. “She’s ten times worse than when we found her.
-Which is about 9 times worst than in the game... *cough* Yeah, yeah, I said nothing. *mumble-grumble*
>She averted her gaze, looking instead at the pile of broken parts strewn across the floor.
-Yes, yes, we understood that 2min ago... quit (literally) stretching her (that part of the scene) everywhere...
>you guys just came from a factory. Doesn’t that place make robot parts?”
>but Fluttershy’s sisters looked like Fluttershy.
-Cannibalizing evil sisters’ parts to make emergency repairs ? For Science!
>“And Rainbow Dash, thanks for offering to get the replacement parts.
-Even though I really doubt she knows how to differentiate a ‘flux capacitor’ from a ‘quantum harmonizer’, or what they even look like... yeah.
... Save 10min of padding in the N.Factory ‘’quest’’(game), put it in the 30sec scene of Robo’s repairs to make a 10min one ! ... Hum, yay ? ...
>“I have no idea why you didn’t just use the Enertron. I mean, that is what it’s there for.”
-‘’But you are still hungry...’’. Speaking of hungry, they didn’t eat in... what?... 1-1.5 day now ? They must be starving right now.
>They left the post-apocalyptic future behind, hurtling through time to an unanticipated destination.
-They will face... ‘’Unforeseen consequences !’’, dun-duun DUN !
Also, *insert ‘Final Destination’ reference* about the place they going to ‘end’ up.
-----
It was also an ‘ok’ chapter, though I preferred how the last one had been handled.
Also, *insert rather random scene with robot guts, oil, and body parts being ‘’thrown/sprayed’’ a bit everywhere*, ‘’because’’ ..? The game lacked that kind of things ? I don’t know.
I mean, it’s not bad ‘’OOOoooOOO terrifying’’, but I still really scratch my head on that, wondering ‘’Why?’’.
Returning to some of the other points, as promised.
ReplyDelete>>Great, now Twi’s getting an over-inflated ego, she thought. That’s the last thing this team needs.
>Says *Rainbow Dash*
That was the joke ^^;
>This also kinda makes the presence/use of Big Mac and Granny Smith as nothing more than a vulgar tease, you know ?
Fair point. Due to the size of the casting, I'd ended up breaking a lot of MLP-canon relationships in order to fit the CT-universe (e.g. Apple family scattered across different eras), but yes, once again my special talent at accidental foreshadowing strikes again. I just hope that doesn't cheapen any of my actual-intended foreshadowing...
>Quick question: Masamune or Grandleon?
Neither~
>>“A-E-I-O-U!” Pinkie Pie gleefully parroted.
>And thus, the Internet People laughter-out-loud...
I'm classless to a fault :)
I'm loving this fix so much. You've mastered the art of blending together 2 things I like seamlessly. Makes me want to play the game again! I hope you write more soon, and thanks for sharing!
ReplyDelete@Nova:
ReplyDeleteI understand you're disappointed, but quite frankly, Fluttershy being Robo (or AJ failing to be Robo, or Fluttershy failing to be Alya, or whichever your actual objection is) is not destructive to the story.
Everyone had their own headcannon. Somepony was going to be disappointed no matter what happened.
One of the things I love about this story is that I actually already read a Chrono Trigger/Pony story: "Pony Trigger" on Fimfiction.net! It had TwiLucca and Chrono Dash as well, but it had Fluttershy as Marle. Pinkie Pie makes a great Marle. I really like how "Pinkamena" is used to represent a more mature false self of Pinkie Pie, as her real self is stifled by the needs of royalty.
I was completely surprised that Pinkie fit so well. If I had been more close minded, I might not have been able to appreciate how what this pony brings to this character. So give Roboshy a chance, okay?
I do think that Fluttershy's personality fit where the story was at that moment. Twilight wanted to earn the robot's friendship. And while Applejack would've been a perfectly suitable friend, if a little more energetic, there's something touching about Twilight declining turn Fluttershy into a servant, when Fluttershy is so delicate that all your really need to do to "Program" her to be your maid is give her a stern look.
Ask Angel. XD
And, Fluttershy likes trees. She'd LIKE to be a tree, if you recall.
Also, if I might poke a few holes in your headcannon, There are more opportunities for Applejack to be Applejack at the beginning of the planet's life, than at the end, when nopony even remembers a tree.
Even in the prehistoric era, Applejack might actually have the worlds first Apple Orchard.
She protects a village, and since the early Ponies don't eat meat and cannot hunt animals, they might actually have built their village around a thriving grove of fruit trees, and got a leg up on kick starting Agriculture. It would also explain how in the Cretaceous era AJ got the name "Applejack" as well as gotten Apples for their cutie mark. If Fluttershy is an assassin-bot, then while the world might not have very many butterflies, it still fits more appropriately as a statement of understated menace than three apples. (unless the robot's AI program was designed by Apple, inc. or something. Killer robots? There's an App for that.)
Besides, Fluttershy would have gone to Laruba village, not stay in Ioka village. AJ is much more of the "Stand and fight" type. There was a village for pacifists, Remember?:
"All in Ioka village fight. No
fight, go to Laruba village."
Also, this next line is pretty huge to Ayla's identity, but its not something I can imagine Fluttershy saying:
"Ayla fight while alive! Win and live. Lose and die. Rule of life. No
change rule. Old man breathe, but dead on inside."
Perhaps Ioka's orchard is what helped militarize the ponies there. Everypony in Laruba grazes on tasteless grass and scarce fungi, but those in Ioka eat delicious apples from the garden of eden itself. Perhaps because they haven't mastered Argiculture or because Ioka is the closest thing they have to a fortress and theres a fully matured orchard RIGHT THERE. If they go down, ponies will never master argiculture and there will be more apples in the future for Big Mac to find. My god...we can turn those silly apples into a SYMBOL!
Oh, and as for family, all of AJ's close relatives have been seen in other eras, but perhaps AJ's "cousins" make up Ioka village's warriors. With Caramel as Kino.
@Xaos
ReplyDeleteMy whole point was about 'Robo being more related to trees, in the game' and 'Ayla being more related to animals, in the game'... thus the direct association I was making and explaining of : 'AJ being more about trees, thus more Robo-like' and 'Fluttershy being more about animals, thus more Ayla-like'.
Not about the hypothetical value they would have in the story, if they filled other roles than those for which I provided explanations and details.
Simply that. (politely said)
---
Also, as I also said previously, it was more about the events and actions in the game, than the 'emotional state' of those 2.
After all, the author clearly seem to be using the 'ponies' personality' to fill the 'game character(s)', not the inverse...
So, hypothetically, some of the game characters' actions would have been adapted (and currently are, with the current selection) to better fit the ponies' personality, anyway.
Just thoughts and theories, always.
To anypony interested, I recall somepony mentioning that an FFIV crossover should be made?
ReplyDeleteWell, I have begun one, and it's been posted here on EqD!
Simply look up 'Pony Fantasy IV' in the archive.
Wait, I'm seriously the first new comment? Wow.
ReplyDeleteAnd I KNEW Dr. Whooves would be the Guru of Time! That leaves Melchior. *whispering* PleasebeZecorapleasebeZecora...
And Trixie as Spekkio? Huh. Didn't see that one coming. Still, I'm waiting for the time when the group brings a certain 'marlin' in to see her.
And finally, you just said 'screw the rules, I'm an author' to the Arbitrary Headcount Limit? Nice.
"You can call me The Doctor"
ReplyDeleteThere was an audible slap as I face-palmed.
"You're just in time for the show"
Buck. The great mage is going to be trixie, I know it.
"The Great And Powerful Trixie!"
Yeah, I knew it. Would've thought she'd make a good Queen Zeal though.
And nice to see that 3 pony rule abolished. Kind of wonder why they ended up there in the first place though, if it's not in play.
*Goes to look for new fanfiction*
ReplyDelete*Sees the fanfic roundup*
*Chrono trigger crossover*
MUST READ
@Leo Archon
ReplyDeleteRight? It seems like most of the commenters have migrated from here to FimFiction. Looks like the same happened to your fic too, actually.
@Luminous
But of course I'd cut that! After all, leaving half of your group to rot in the End of Time is hardly conducive to the magic of friendship, eh? ^^ As for why they appeared at the EoT since there was no 4-party-member violation occurring, I was somewhat cagey here for now, but Doctor Whooves implied he was responsible.
@MrValorage
Welcome aboard! You've unknowingly continued the trend wherein every chapter update has resulted in a "someone's writing a Chrono Trigger crossover?!" post (either here or on the story updates thread). I'm curious how long I can keep that going *hipster glasses*
CH.16 :
ReplyDelete>I suppose it was only a matter of time. It usually is, haha.
-Oh ! What a pun ! ...actually, it’s a good one.
>“Well, you can call me The Doctor.”
-This was a rather obvious choice, really. ;) ...Doctor Whooves:Gaspar(guru of time).
>“I was quoting Becoming Popular again, wasn’t I?
-I... don’t have any idea why this is here or what it references exactly ?
(later: After searching, I found this was the name of the song in ‘Sweet and Elite’... but still have no idea as to why it was put there.)
> How can we possibly prepare to fight a world-destroying abomination?
-By doing quests (especially when the world is in imminent danger. Absolutely. It’s a RPG thing...), in order to get ‘equally-world destroying’ artefacts (in the form of game-breaking equipments and accessories), of course !
>The Doctor winked at Fluttershy, causing her to release a small puff of steam.
-...is it just me, or does those ‘’puffs of steam’’, each times, sound way more awkward than they should ?
>“Naturally, the Great and Powerful Trixie is referring to the most elusive and powerful force in the universe >magic!”
-...Twilight is a UNICORN ! She already does some form of magic.
I believe it would have been more proper to say something like, I don’t know, elemental magic ? Lost magic ? Secret magic ? Something-something more powerful form of magic than unicorns/magic beings *normally* have access ?
>“I already know magic,” she said.
-Exactly what she said. Which would have made, with one of the alternative I mentioned, what Trixie said more relevant...
But, I guess this was for the... humor ? *shrug*
>Do not sully the name of your ancestors and betters by claiming that this meager parlor trick is ‘magic.’”
-Well, Trixie just looks a bit dumb here... It’s still magic, but just not ‘’advanced’’ magic.
Yes, yes, intended as humor...
>Trixie looked Rainbow Dash over, noticing her lightning bolt cutie mark. “Sure. Light for you.”
-Light ? Huh ? ...I always thought it was ‘’light, for light-ning’’, you know ?
Hmm... bah, I guess I never really gave this too much thoughts, since Chrono’s magic was literally ‘lightning’ ?
Or at least, that’s what I remember thinking... Haven’t played in a long while.
... Twilight as Lucca was already good, but I hadn’t thought of the element, which make her even more ‘Lucca’ than she already was ;) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F71Y6PUekt8 ...
>“It’s not like there’s some artificial limit on the number of ponies that can travel through time with one another. Wouldn’t that be daft?”
-*Boot to the Head* ...sigh... Really, now ?
I can easily think of at least 3 things that could equally-easily explain the restriction to set a number of people while traveling through space-time, in dimension vortexes... It’s not that hard.
Also, good luck managing the team when they will be 6-7, all at the same time... yeah...
-----
Well, this was a relatively interesting part... though Trixie’s words about ‘magic’ seemed a bit forced, and the sentences from the Doctor, about the # of party members, awfully looked like a ‘’4th wall rock’’ thrown at the reader... to which I must *raise an eyebrow* and question the necessity of that.
@Nova25 Direct quote from Pav regarding the 3-person limit from the FiMFiction post:
ReplyDelete"But of course I'd cut that! After all, leaving half of your group to rot in the End of Time is hardly conducive to the magic of friendship, eh?"
Seeing as how the Mane 6 will be filling the roles of the Chrono Trigger main 6, this makes sense. I would have gone with multiple Gate Keys, myself, but I'm not Pav.
And as for Dr. Whooves quoting 'Becoming Popular', I found it hilarious. Rule of Funny, Nova. Don't knock it.
And while you're at it, I've got two new chapters of my FFIV crossover up. Do you have an FiMFiction account?
I applaud your dedication. Anyone who could keep writing, even when people like Nova25 are whining ceaselessly, deserves respect. As far as the story's content, I have been a fan of Chrono Trigger since the days of the SNES and I have greatly enjoyed your take on the events, and characters, of the game. Thank you for this gift of your time and talent.
ReplyDeletePS. Nova25, please stop. Most of us have played Chrono Trigger and can see the differences without you pointing them out and complaining about them. You are really getting annoying.
@eenor5000
ReplyDelete>Anyone who could keep writing, even when people like Nova25 are whining ceaselessly,
-You sir are simply insulting me, unnecessarily and clearly for the sake of looking interesting.
There's a word for that.
>Nova25, please stop. >can see the differences without you pointing them out and complaining about them. You are really getting annoying.
-And you are simply downright vulgar at this point... and don't seem to fully understand what ''commenting'' is really about...
There is more than one *way* to ''comment'', you know.
For my part, I read... think... theorize... wonder about things in relation to others... and write results AS I'm reading the story.
The thoughts and reactions of people as the story progress, their opinions on things and whatever facts they can dig up, the interrogations and questions they can create in other people that may not have thought about them otherwise...
As long as they are politely ''formulated'' (as much as possible, of course), and that the person is open to a *civilized* discussion...
Also, it is up to individual people to decide by *themselves* what a comment is worth to them.
@Leo Archon
ReplyDelete...honestly, my concern was mostly about the ''way'' the author throw the ''explanation'' at the reader.
I'm just saying... it could have been 'shared' with a bit more subtlety/diplomacy, so to speak.
Just that.
>Rule of Funny, Nova. Don't knock it.
-While I understand that 'cheap/quick jokes' can occasionally be inserted to lighten the mood, in various situations, one must remember that the ''rule of funny'' must not be used as an universal excuse. Politely said.
Okay okay, simmer @_@ I do appreciate Nova's feedback, as it sometimes provides a useful counterpoint, and forces me to make only decisions which I can defend. That said, for critiques of the format, "You changed X. You shouldn't have changed X," I can't help much there.
ReplyDelete>"Becoming Popular"
This was in reference to the Tenth Doctor's tendency to make inadvertent pop culture references, ex. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JsLGe5X3OY Since I didn't want to encroach on Pinkie's fourth wall destruction, I figured an in-universe reference would work instead.
>But if this is an alternate universe, and the events of "Sweet and Elite" never happened...
Shh.
>puffs of steam
Eh, yeah. I'm trying to not beat the reader over the head with "SHE'S A ROBOT! DON'T FORGET!" while still allowing her to emote, given the lack of facial expressions, for instance.
>It’s still magic, but just not ‘’advanced’’ magic.
True to a point. Yet non-unicorns like Rainbow and Pinkie are able to cast it, so it's clearly of a different nature. When one set of powers lets you summon massive fireballs, and the other lets you grow facial hair, guess which one will garner more favor.
>Light/lightning
This is the part where i geek out, Twilight Sparkle style.
In the original Japanese, Crono's element roughly translates to Sky. This is supported in a few other locations, like Crono's non-lightning based attacks, [Wind] Slash (obviously wind-based) and Luminaire (which the Japanese tooltip explicitly mentioned was holy-based). This was also mentioned in a few books in Zeal, which referred to the elements of water, fire, and wind.
For the SNES version, this was oversimplified to Lightning, to be more accessible to the newbie Western audiences (and given Nintendo of America's policies at the time, it was probably also done to help eliminate the Luminaire-is-holy-based fact. As a child, I for one certainly presumed it was some sort of green plasma or w/e, so mission accomplished). The DS remake chose a somewhat more accurate Light.
The pun here, of course, was that Rainbow and Pinkie both presumed Light meant "happy sunshine powers". Once Rainbow figured out Light included "run gigawatts of power through your foe's body", she was a bit more tolerant to the idea.
>4th wall rock
>a bit more subtlety/diplomacy
Don't tell me that you've already forgotten about the Dual Tech tutorial >:3
@Pav Feira
ReplyDeleteDual Tech tutorial ?
I was talking of what the Doctor said :
>>“It’s not like there’s some artificial limit on the number of ponies that can travel through time with one another. Wouldn’t that be daft?”
...it's 'that' subtlety, I'm referring to.
For the Japanese/Americain versions of the game, well... You're surely right.
I mean, it's far from the first time games got ''slashed'' is odd ways, when they import them to this continent.
Secret of Mana, and the ''first'' few Final Fantasy come to mind.
And, lastly, about the magic part... I was mostly referring to the 'Trixie-Twilight' part of it ; since Trixie surely saw Twilight was an unicorn too, and could have supposed she might have been able to use ''some'' kind of magic.
But, yes, like in pretty much any games, magic isn't necessarly limited to one race/species.
Being some form or another of energy, life of the planet, etc... that people only have to find a way to tap into (and occassionally have a predisposition for using 'it'), in order to be able to use it.
@Nova25
ReplyDelete> Dual Tech Tutorial
- Pav was referring back to one of the older chapters, where Pinkie blatantly breaks the 4th wall to instruct Twilight and Rainbow on Dual Techs. I think the point he was trying to make is that subtlety isn't really his strong suit. :P No offense, Pav!
As for Crono Trigger's translation convention, I have to say, it's better than most. Final Fantasy VII's immortal 'Attack while its tail's up' comes to mind. Most of the adaptations/changes can be attributed to Ted Woolsey. Most of the time, these make some sense, although one line about 'finding someone' has confused people to this day. You know the one, Pav.
@Nova25
ReplyDeleteYou're right and I apologize. I jumped to conclusions in regards to you're intent after only sampling a small part of your commentary. Upon further review, it has become apparent to me that the majority of your comments are, indeed, constructive criticism. I was out of line. I took frustrations out on you, with intent to hurt, under a thin veil of civility. Once again, I am sorry and I will refrain from further comment unless I have something constructive to say.
I would also like to applaud you, Pav Feira, for standing up for Nova25. You have shone more character than I.
@eenor5000
ReplyDeleteIt isn't exactly a question of ''standing up'' for or against anyone, but rather to stay calm and as civilized as possible while addressing an issue.
Of course, I do know this is the 'Internet', and that by default we(people in general) tend to expect the other side to not be open and/or reasonable... I am no exception... that's why I believe and tend (usually) to try to start conversations/discussions on a neutral level (or bring it to a neutral level), first, before deciding on a course of actions.
...of course, it's not always that easy to do.
Also, not everything I write is directly intended as 'constructive criticism' (since I don't really aim for making ''reviews''), some will often be random thoughts and reactions to the story and/or to something it suddenly made me think of.
But, there's always the remote possibility it will interest someone and/or the author, and help in some form or another. You never know.
Hmm... Nova25, your complaints here struck me as non-issues. Magic, light and party-of-three.
ReplyDeleteOn magic: this lampshades the canon Trixie, being far less magically inclined than Twilight. I daresay that Trixie's inflated ego on a unicorn with actual talent would indeed dismiss canon unicorn magic as "not real magic".
On light: another joke. In the western release, Chrono's element was "Light", presumably because they couldn't fit "lightning" on the screen. Lighten up. :)
On party-of-three: again, it's a joke. Party size limitations in games are really arbitrary and exist solely for game balance and engine complexity reasons, not for anything story-related. The excuse in Chrono Trigger is somewhat flimsy, and the Doctor is well aware of that.
@Whitespace Only
ReplyDelete>your complaints here struck me as non-issues. Magic, light and party-of-three.
-I never said they were, except maybe the last one, but only in part.
About the magic... initially, just observations and simple interrogations on Trixie's attitude to Twilight(also unicorn).
Light/Lightning... You ? What... issue ? Huh ?
I was wondering... I asked a question, and got a good and polite answer.
There's nothing there.
Party limitation... again, my ''interrogation'' wasn't so much about the 'choice' in the story, BUT! was mostly about the way it was *formulated* (especially with the Doctor going and saying : >Wouldn’t that be daft? ).
Not a very... appealing... way to say the message.
Just that.
Hey Pav Feira, may I interest you in an AU fic idea for when you finish this one?
ReplyDeleteChap 13: Bwahaha! Rainbow's the one left behind. *Priceless*!
ReplyDeleteChap 14: Sleeping? Their hero is sleeping?! She's gonna get such an earful when the others get back!
Chap 15: The scene with Fluttershy was just as touching as it was with Robo during the game. Moreso, even. Thank you for sharing, you're an amazing author and I can't wait to read more!
EDIT Chapter 16: End of time! Trixie and the Doctor were amazing. I especially loved the bit where the doctor mocks the character travel limit!
So, finally have read everything. Never played the game, actually never heard of it till i saw this fic. All i can say is that i enjoyed your fanfic very much so far and hope it will continue to be so good as it was.
ReplyDeleteIf you stay not faithful to the game, thats great (make it TwiDash, why does the princess always gets the hero and not the nerdy girl! Oh right, Dash is not gay. XD) cause a fic should always have a touch of its creator and not be a copy of something else.
Though a happy ending should be in order, especially after that horrible future thingie. <.<
But boy, that game sure is old, style totally reminds me of Dragon Ball. oO
@darkartsfart
ReplyDeleteWhen I finish this one ಠ_à²
lol. I mean sure, feel free to float it by me. Can either PM me on my FimFiction account, else pavfeira at hotmail. Given the amount of work remaining on this, though, I probably won't have time for other projects beyond a one-shot here or there.
@darkartsfart
ReplyDeleteWhat does 'AU' stands for ?
My ''list'' of acronyms isn't fully updated...
AU stands for alternate universe.
ReplyDelete@James Rye
ReplyDelete1. The game didn't have shipping. In fact, Crono was a silent protagonist who never said anything.
2. Akira Toriyama, creator of DragonBall and DragonBall Z, did the art or concept art for the game.
@General Patton Actually, in the PS1 version, an animated cutscene drawn by Akira Toriyama shows Marle and Crono getting married.
ReplyDeleteSo, yes. There is shipping. :P
Zecora is best rhyming weaponsmith.
ReplyDeleteZecora is best Melchior.
ReplyDeleteHey pav, love the story so far. CT is definetaly one of my favorite RPGs, and won't that I haven't grown tired of.
ReplyDeleteAnd you should totally roll with ending #2 at the end of this.
Yay Zecora! Nice job on the rhymes. And I can't wait for the confrontation with Nightmare Moon!
ReplyDeleteCh18 is in the blogponies' hooves! Expect it in the next X number of hours. Quick note: I've been going back through earlier chapters for some light editing. In the process, I named RD's mom (who had appeared in Ch1, unnamed) "Aurora Glow". You'd probably be able to figure this out in Ch18 on your own, but I figured I'd make mention of it, anyway.
ReplyDeleteAwww, poor Dash. Hurts when somepony you've only known for 4 days is able to dredge up long buried from a lifelong friend. Then again, Pinkie's always good at cutting to the heart of the matter while Dash seems to brush things off, so it's not unexpected.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward (eventually) to your interpretation of the Green Dream scene.
Woha, that´s harsh. ;A;
ReplyDeleteNo wonder Twi wanted to keep quiet about it aka had forgotten how she got her cutie mark. Getting such a thing on the same day when something like that had happend.
And poor RD. To think she teased/made fun of Twi and her studious/egghead image all the time, not knowing the cuase for it. No wonder she´s in shock...
Nice fleshing out of backgrounds here, I like it. I always thought that the whole thing with Lucca's Mom was incredibly touching. Well done.
ReplyDeleteCH.17 :
ReplyDelete>The green imp threw a dirty look at his companion. “What did I tell you? Last time this happened, what did I say?
-The perspective that this may be a somewhat common occurrence for them is a funny thought.
>Nightmare Moon was this super-duper, meanie-weenie, evil enchantress who got all the Mystics together.
-Sooo... Luna (or Nightmare Moon?) is gonna be Magus ? *shrug* I guess ? But, this might make the ‘family part’, later on, a bit weird... if not awkward ?
That also introduces the small problem of... If there’s Luna, where will be Celestia ?
Oh and... If ‘’Magus/Luna’’ is an alicorn, does that now mean that every or most ponies from the ‘’Magic Era’’ were alicorns too ?
Still say that a background pony with a somewhat ‘’dark-ish’’(but still potentially good in the inside) status, like say, Trixie... would have filled the role well too. Even better, I would say.
>“I’m a bit surprised to see a zebra in Palomedina
>tell Zecora what she can do for you.
-Yay. :3 ...I’m glad that Melchior(guru of life) is Zecora. It also works well with her living near a town of ‘’monsters’’(exotic location), and the crafting of mystical and rare ‘’things’’.
>“Holy shhh-eep,” Rainbow Dash corrected herself
-Oh haha... Holy ‘’sheep’’ instead of ‘shit’, with a meaning like ‘Holy cow’... funny.
...well... Somewhat funny.
A bit.
Kinda, I suppose.
>“It’s yours for eight thousand and five hundred.
>“What about the gold? Do we have the nine thousand for my sword?
-Hopefully, RD is just randomly giving a rough/estimated number near it, and just didn’t forget the real price that was said 30sec ago...
>Pinkie Pie picked up some improved ammo for her crossbow
-Wouldn’t something like ‘’a finely crafted crossbow’’(X description for crossbow) be more consistent with the ‘’buying of upgraded weapons/gears’’ session ?
-----
Well, it was a relatively interesting chapter, though maybe it didn’t have much ‘’content’’ in it... compared to other chapter (literally straight from a doorstep to another one, on a tiny island).
It could have had some more extra-content, like some of the minor things happening in the inn/weapon store. I don’t know ?
Suddenly, I’m thinking of ‘Blueblood as Dalton‘ ?
@Nova25
ReplyDelete>pony with a somewhat "dark-ish"(but still potentially good in the inside) status
Dunno. While I can definitely see arguments for somepony else (Trixie is probably the most mentioned alternative), IMO Luna/NMM just worked (will work?) too perfectly here to pass up.
>Zeal, alicorns, etc.
Ehhh, how much can I spoil for now... I guess I'll just reemphasize Pinkie's line in Ch17. She mentioned that Nightmare Moon was the only alicorn that her history teachers knew of. However, accurate historical records only go back so far...
>Buying xbow versus xbow bolts
Fair point. I guess I was just concerned because, as I described it—"A compact, [collapsible, spring-loaded,] leg-mounted repeater crossbow with built-in ammo chamber!"—it felt like it might be a custom-made-to-order weapon, as opposed to something more generic like a katana. So, for a shop to just happen to have an upgrade felt too coincidental, I guess? (inb4 someone mentions prehistorical robot arms...) Granted, Zecora's shop isn't any ordinary shop. Dunno. Pinkie will probably upgrade her actual weapon at some point or another.
>relatively interesting chapter, though maybe it didn’t have much "content" in it
Aye, my beta readers and myself did admittedly share this concern. In the end, we decided that it was interesting enough and served its purpose. Since bigger and better things were planned for Ch18 and Ch19 (minimally), we argued there wasn't much sense in delaying the better stuff by trying to shoehorn extra entertainment into this chapter. Like, adding an extra fight scene would make Ch17 more entertaining as an individual chapter, but in terms of the overall arc, it would just start to drag the story out too slowly. Something like that.
Thanks for reading!
CH.18 :
ReplyDelete>“Freaking—cough cough—shortcut!” Rainbow Dash screamed
-Whaaaat !? The author didn’t just skip the entire Ecran Cave !
What’s up with that ? I mean, seriously... the previous CH. ends up RIGHT as they are going to go to the cave, literally a darn ‘’cliffhanger’’(if we can call it that)... and not even a single damn word is said about it AND the boss in it ?
I know it’s a short ‘’dungeon’’, with just a small bit of information from the Ecran boss, but darn... we just had a ‘from 1 door to another’ chapter... the cave could have been easily fitted in the last one, with the ‘’cliffhanger’’ put in front of the whirlpool access ?
>For Pete’s sake, sometimes you can act like such a newborn.
-...I believe that ‘’foal’’ would be a better, more proper term here, instead of ‘’newborn’’. -_-
>“They told me you had b-been executed. My sweet, little filly...”
-Oh right... ‘that’. Humm... *cough*. Funny how that kind of things can easily be forgotten, when you start time-traveling.
Also... I thought for sure that the ‘’execution’’ hadn’t been made public, since the Chancellor *SECRETLY* changed it at the last minute, so (he)she could get rid of the hero(es). Otherwise... the Royal Court wouldn’t be too happy with him harshly overruling a decision from the Tribunal.
... Suddenly, I want to eat pasta of all sorts, in various dishes ...
>“Oh, go easy on her, Twilight. She didn’t tell me anything.”
>“What? But then, how did you—”
-Me think that the futuristic looking ROBOT-pony might be somewhat of a good hint.
>“Sweet Air,” explained Rainbow Dash. “She was my mom.”
>“My other mom.”
-...*shrug* Heh. It’s ok, I have nothing against that... just a little surprising of a choice there, that’s all.
>both Airy and I are her biological parents. Suffice it to say, there’s unicorn magic involved.
-And genetic knowledge and technology, of course. Magic... magic and SCIENCE! Or, techno-magic, if you will. ;)
>Twilight’s mom is... sick. She’s been stuck in bed, like, ever since the two of us were fillies.
-That ‘’sickness’’ is called ‘paraplegia’, RD... and, seriously, I can’t believe you made RD not knowing that detail. Considering the years and that, as far as I’m aware of, there’s no indication that ‘Chrono’ didn’t know that in the game.
>“Oh, you know me.” Twilight Wish smiled peacefully.
-Doesn’t Twilight’s mom already has an official name, in the series, if not a main fan-name ? (same with her dad, really)
>Pinkie Pie could see that her horn had been roughly snapped in half.
-Funny... I didn’t know that a broken horn could induce paraplegia ? Or, *raise an eyebrow* does the author decided to change this VERY SIGNIFICANT detail about Lucca’s mother ?
>It snapped both of her forelegs… and her horn.
-Really ? Going from bottom half to upper half ? ...just why ? ‘’Just because’’ unicorn ?
>Her horn, though… you can’t heal damage like that.
-Well... technically it’s not impossible. Buuuut, I suppose it depends on whatever limitation(s) people put on unicorns’ horn and magic...
>She… she never told me. We’ve known each other our whole lives, and she never told me.
-Yeeeeeah... I’m also not buying that... at all.
-----
Well, what to say there ? This wasn’t a bad part, per say, but... there’s an insane amount of weird choices and pretty questionable decision made in this chapter... Some are hard to ignore.
Pinkie Pie is going to be such a team asset with Ice Magic.
ReplyDeleteBehold!
http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzol34ao1z1ro9en2o1_1280.jpg
@Xaos
ReplyDeleteHmm, this does raise an interesting point. The cast in this fic is not nearly HOTBLOODED enough. I must meditate on this point. *grabs his BASE jumping suit*
@Nova25
>Heckran Cave
*shrug* In terms of story, that dungeon was pretty much filler. The only real purpose was the reveal that Magus created Lavos... except that, in the game, this point was already covered in the Medina town square! Sure, the town square was optional, and the cave was mandatory, so I understand why they did that. Even as a kid, though, I noticed how silly it was to "reveal" something I'd already learned before entering the dungeon.
In terms of this fic, since it didn't seem to move the plot, I omitted it. Before you get all worried that I'm taking a hatchet to the story, I'm pretty sure all remaining dungeons have plot relevance, so they'll appear in one manner or another. And for those itching for some more fighting already, Ch19 will cover the Zebran Bridge fight.
>Canon names
Twi's parents don't have canon names yet. To my knowledge, Night Light and Twilight Wish are the most common fanon names for them, so I went with that (much to the annoyance/confusion of having Twi Sr. talking with Twi Jr.) For RD, there's close to nothing about her parents in fanon, save a small handful of fanfics. So I made those names, characters, subplot out of whole cloth.
>Twilight Wish's injuries
I don't derive sadistic pleasure from torturing the characters in the way that I am, but for the sake of a compelling story (not just blindly following the narrative), it's often necessary. Even if I had made her a quadriplegic, that's only a minor inconvenience when you have magic that can carry things, lift yourself, teleport yourself, etc etc. Given both Canon!Twi and Lucca!Twi's personalities and backgrounds, it felt necessary (if squick) to disable her mother's magic. Injuries to her legs also kept her bedridden (though I went a bit merciful here, and let her retain some limited use of her forelegs). Given the manner by which her horn was injured, horn+forelegs injuries made more sense than horn+hindlegs.
For your other point, I'm highly concerned that my ambiguous writing struck again. I wasn't trying to imply that RD was completely unaware of Twi's mom's horn injury. Even if Twi's mom had Giant Hat Powers, that wouldn't fool RD for an entire decade. RD's description of "she's... sick" was her being intentionally vague to avoid squicking PP or FS on their short visit. Of course, this backfired when the Giant Hat fell off, but RD had no way of predicting that. Her closing line of "she never told me" was referring to Twi's story. She had known that Twi's mom had been injured long ago, but this was her first time hearing that Twi felt directly responsible for the incident. More on these points in Ch19.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Pav Feira
ReplyDelete-About Twilight's parents : On the pony wikia, they are listed as : http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_ponies/Unicorn_ponies
(Dad) Night Light
(Mother) Twilight Velvet
Still, yeah... it's just the mlp.wikia, for what it's worth ? (them are their despotic admins...)
Also... I never said anything against (on the contrary) RD's parents ? They are fine.
---
-About medical terms... :
*Quadriplegic/tetraplegia: paralysis of all four limbs.
*Paraplegia: paralysis of the lower half of the body with involvement of both legs usually due to disease of or injury to the spinal cord.
Lucca's mom is paraplegic, not quadriplegic.
>that's only a minor inconvenience when you have magic that can carry things, lift yourself, teleport yourself, etc etc.
-Not every unicorns in the world possess super(limitless/unlimited)-magic like Twilight, in the series... and telekinesis is still somewhat limited, and if you teleport to somewhere you still can't stand by yourself.
It's like if you are glued to you computer chair(with wheels), you can still roll around, but it's really not the same thing.
Paraplegia is FAR from anything minor, even with access to SOME amount of magic.
...in any case... Lower half or upper half, it's your choice. Whatever you think may be best.
Well, so much for my theory about Gilda and Photo Finish being Slash and Flea. Also, that foreshadowing about the horn, wow that's intense.
ReplyDeleteHm, not sure how to feel about this. :/
ReplyDeleteIt rather felt out of the sky those apologizes, like not really meant, even with the speeches/arguments with Pinkie/Fluttershy.
The whole chapter felt more like Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie are better friends than RD and Twi ever were to each other over the years they knew each other since they were fillies.
Which is kinda sad given that they´re supposed to be childhood friends.
No idea how to change that though. Maybe give it a bit more time, like a chapter or two more, Pinkie and Fluttershy should do help them, but not feel like they were the ones who fixed that broken relationship, but Twi and RD´s bond did it in the end. Right now it feels like FS/PP almost single-handed remade their friendship giving off a sort of unresolved feeling when reading how Twi and Dash make up/forgive each other.
Just my thoughts though.
The ending might suggest future problems, like Twi not feeling accepted in the group with her egghead observations while the rest rather enjoys the amazing awesome fantastic stuff they could do while not really getting it.
Well, we gonna see.
@James Rye Hmm, that's a fair point. Most of the friendship points involving FS/PP have occurred on-screen, which I suppose makes sense, as they were introduced in-story. RD&Twi has the author assuring you they were BFF's before the story started, and a few legitimately tender moments on-screen (Ch15, as an example), but mostly they've just been squabbling. Squabbling in a dysfunctional-friendship sort of way, but nonetheless... I'll keep that in mind. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteMy opinion on the matter was that they never actually had a fight before. In the anime, Ouran Host Club, the Twins Hikaru and Karou (sp?) had a fight after an entire lifetime of being so damn close it was painful, and the rest of the Host club was really worried that they were going to go too far now that they finally had a real fight.
ReplyDeleteOf course, that fight had a twist at the end, but you'll have to go hunt down the anime yourself if you're curious.
The point is, Twilight and Dash might've had problems BECAUSE it was a lifelong friendship that never had any serious arguments before now. "There's no more bitter enemy than an old friend." They clearly poke fun at each other in earlier chapter, but it was never mean-spirited. Oh no, for that, you needed a sense of BETRAYAL.
Of course, I think they would've eventually kissed and made up.
Rainbow: I LIKE STALLIONS!
Oh hush, you know what I mean.
Ah, the beauty of magical team attacks ^_^
ReplyDeleteThe CMC need to be spanked until they're black and blue for starving an entire population over their crusading >_<
CH.19 :
ReplyDelete>If you keep going, you’ll end up traveling back to before we met each other!”
-Huh... So ? *YOU* are time-travelling, all together. As long as you don’t kill your grand-father, you should be ok.
>That was that, ahm, ” he said, tapping his hoof against his chin, “that crazy one.
-‘’ahm’’ ? What kind of ‘onomatopy’ is this ?
>That fricking egotist makes it all about herself!
-Half-made swear words are the new trend now or something ? It doesn’t make their sentences ‘’more’’, by adding those like that.
>“You need me to chop up some bad guys. Got it.”
-No, you should go get them food... like whatever could be the pony-equivalent of ‘Jerky’ here. A giant cake, maybe ?
>Rainbow Dash took to the air, racing ahead toward the battle at Zebran Bridge.
-...another one of those ‘’moments’’, I see. -_-
> Twilight Sparkle smiled and nodded. “You’re quite right, miss. Sorry to have disturbed you.
-...the damn KING gave you the order to bring the soldiers the food ! You don’t ‘’exactly’’ have a say in this particular matter.
>“I’m gonna keep hugging ya until you’re your old self again!”
-The middle of a battlefield may not be the most adequate place for that, I would say.
>talking about being my laywer. Why is she even here?
-I remember asking myself the same question, back then...
>and she’s completely losing her shit
-Shit, poop, random odd swearing... Enhance any story by -20% ... ... ...Wait ?
>“Scootaloo,” scolded the earth pony, “we’re not all generals. Only Sweetie Belle gits to be one.”
-Ohhhhh... dear... by the 9 Hells !
I just... *BOOT to the Head*
You know, whatever... for all I care, now... It’s like a hemorrhage of lost potential.
>“Just cuz we’re the bad guys doesn’t mean we gotta resort to name-callin’ and other nasty business.
-Yeah. The ‘’good’’ guys are already doing it, anyway... -_-
-----
Sigh... I don’t know. I was ‘ok’, I guess... or something...
The longer this goes, somehow, the lower my hopes are getting.
@Nova:
ReplyDelete">If you keep going, you’ll end up traveling back to before we met each other!
-Huh... So ? *YOU* are time-travelling, all together. As long as you don’t kill your grand-father, you should be ok."
Um...you ARE aware Pinkie Pie is being Pinkie Pie, here right? But even taking Pinkie Logic into account, she has the basically said that they were travelling past their OWN timeline. As in, if they fix this problem, they could potentially regress and unbirth themselves.
Also, most of your other complaints are really nitpicky. I've been getting all sorts of things out of this story and I can't wait for more. Some of your points are less anal-retentive than others, but you really need to give the writer some space to maneuver.
Swear words? Really? And also, they've BEEN in this fic. Hell, they've been in lots of Pony fics. You are late by a -significant- margin to register this particular complaint.
In the mean time, some of us are getting quite a lot of this story, thank you very much.
I think I know what Twilight's problem is at the end.
She made up with Rainbow Dash, but got brushed aside. She had a combo with Pinkie Pie, but not Rainbow Dash. Rainbow had comboes with Fluttershy AND Pinkie Pie in that fight, but not Twilight. Rainbow even didn't go after Twilight herself when she fell of the bridge.
Now, Rainbow Dash had a good few reasons to be mad at Twilight over the thing with her Mom. Twilight was the one keeping a secret after all, and while I can't imagine they wouldn't have made up, there WAS a chance that they would have lose a certain intimacy with how they trust each other. (Indeed, part of Twilight's hurt feelings was that she had never considered that Rainbow Dash might actually be willing and expecting that kind of openness and trust. ...Which actually makes her feel worse in a really unfair way. D:)
If something bad happened to Rainbow after this point, what's to stop her from learning the lesson that friends DON'T talk about their pain? That's even more likely since they are on a big world-saving mission.
That said, Twilight was the one who had to live with it. She likely thought she was protecting Dash from her mom, and well...she DID have to deal with all of that alone, and as soon as she's found out, Dash seems like she hates her now and THE WHOLE THING IS JUST SO UNFAIR I AM NEVER TALKING TO THAT SPOILED SELF CENTERED BRAT AGAIN!
Seriously, this is great stuff and I can't wait for the next chapter. How many fights did Harry, Ron and Hermione have in the Potter series that was over stuff way more trivial than this?