• Story: Loyalty


    [Sad]

    Author: Arbarano
    Description: Despite the rejection still ringing in her ears, Rainbow Dash is able to move on from one of her less-successful flight forays. However, just as she overcomes her own problems, a certain pink mare gets entirely the wrong idea.
    Loyalty

    Additional Tags: Wonderbolts, Failure, Dashie, Suicide, Subversion

    55 comments:

    1. First. ... I can't believe I just did that. *is ashamed*

      ReplyDelete
    2. Nooo! Not another suicide fic. I can't take the sadness!

      ReplyDelete
    3. A sad Dash fic. Im assuming from the summary and tags that she failed to try out for the wonderbolts, almost commits suicide, but then Pinkie Pie saves her

      ReplyDelete
    4. Additional Tags: Wonderbolts, Failure, Dashie, Suicide

      OH GOD NO

      ReplyDelete
    5. @MandoPony
      I feel sorry for you and Dash because this has that ship feel to it

      ReplyDelete
    6. @MandoPony I could have stopped you if I really wanted to. I just never thought that people would go so low as to post a first on a fanfoc

      ReplyDelete
    7. Suicide? This is a show about marshmallow ponies we are talking about here. Well, at least it doesn't involve Scootaloo.

      ReplyDelete
    8. Whelp, between cupcakes and every sadfic I've read I can assure all of you that I am emotionally Dead inside. Keep up the good work!

      ReplyDelete
    9. I'm starting to think we're in that episode of TNG where they're stuck in the infinite time loop, except instead of the Enterprise blowing up is sad Dash suicide fics.

      ReplyDelete
    10. Oh wait a tic. This fic has the tag "Subversion" and people are commenting that it's a twist on the "Dash commits suicide" trope. Which means it's not the same, so that's a relief.

      -Let us read on!-

      ReplyDelete
    11. So what is it with the large number of R.D suicide fics, I feel like the only person these days who wants to live.

      ReplyDelete
    12. Does the "subversion" mean Pinkie only thinks Dash is suicidal? That would be an interesting twist.

      Cause if this is another Dash tries to kill herself fic, I have to say I'm still not interested. It's like gay porn to me. Nothing wrong with it but I have no interest due to the premise.

      ReplyDelete
    13. Well, that was a nice little fic. Kind of a counterarguement to all the "Dash attempts suicide" fics. Well done.

      ReplyDelete
    14. Good news for you DPV111, it's exactly as you say. Pinkie only thinks Dash was suicidal. Pinkie is very adorable when she expresses herself. xD

      ReplyDelete
    15. I'm still emotionally dead, unfortunately. But on the plus I no longer feel

      ReplyDelete
    16. Well that was readable.
      Weirded out that the author implies Soarin' is fat.
      Could have had more buildup on Pinkie's misconception too. Made the scene more elaborate or at least give Pinkie more motivation to think what she did.
      This was, I guess, to suicide Dash fics what Light in the Darkness was to psycho Pinkamina fics.

      ReplyDelete
    17. @PaperCamm

      Have you considered reading happyfics and comedyfics?

      ReplyDelete
    18. Good read, despite the apparent mild freak-out some of the others had.

      ReplyDelete
    19. @WizardShy

      Hmm...

      The port wing has taken a direct hit, we're venting rainbows!

      The friendship core is about to breach captain! Attempting to eject the core.

      All hands to the escape pods!

      I'm getting injury reports from all over the pony.

      Friendship core breach in 30 seconds...

      Ejection system failing, I can't dump the core!

      ALL HOOFS ABANDON PONY! ALL HOOF ABON...

      *outside shot of Rainbow Dash spinning in the sky before she blows up...twice*

      Hmmm....nah.

      ReplyDelete
    20. WRITERS!

      Y U WRITE SO MANY SADFICS?!

      ReplyDelete
    21. @Stormcaller Luckily, Pinkie broke the 4th wall to send her future reiterations a simple message: four. Unfortunately, Pinkie's future selves thought the number "4" was the picture of a person jumping off of a diving board and committing suicide.

      ReplyDelete
    22. hey, this one actually went far differently than i expected.

      ReplyDelete
    23. Seriously, it's a worthwhile read.

      ^SPOILER*

      If you're worried it's another "Dash offs herself" story, then never fear.

      ReplyDelete
    24. @DPV111

      Oddly enough I don't see much need for expanding on why Pinkie would think that. If it had been any of the other characters maybe, but Pinkie's just so excitable that her assuming Dash was going to off herself has an intuitive logic to it.

      Lovely story and nice subversion the Dash suicide fic trope.

      ReplyDelete
    25. @DPV111

      Oddly enough I don't see much need for expanding on why Pinkie would think that. If it had been any of the other characters maybe, but Pinkie's just so excitable that her assuming Dash was going to off herself has an intuitive logic to it.

      Lovely story and nice subversion the Dash suicide fic trope.

      ReplyDelete
    26. why does some ''sad'' tagged fics are often the happiest ones ?

      Don't worry , there's no real suicide in there , just a pretty nice fic :)

      ReplyDelete
    27. Don't worry, no pony dies, and it has a happy ending :)

      I started to get a little teary eyed in the midde~ It was sweet :3

      ReplyDelete
    28. Lyra says: two thumbs up.
      I don't usually read sad fanfics but this was written in good taste and has the feel of a well refined piece that the author spent a good deal of time on.

      ReplyDelete
    29. @Pete Dash
      "why does some ''sad'' tagged fics are often the happiest ones ? "

      I dunno...I teared up a bit when Pinkie started to cry.

      ReplyDelete
    30. DAMN.
      IT.
      The more I wait, the more "Rainbow Dash failing the Wonderbolts try-outs" becomes cliche.
      I'M ALREADY WRITING MY OWN DAMN FANFIC ABOUT THIS.
      MISSING MY OWN DAMN OPPORTUNITIES.
      MISSING MY OWN DAMN IDEAS.
      MISSING MY OWN DAMN CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.
      MISSING MY OWN DAMN PLOT TWISTS.
      MISSING MY OWN DAMN....
      Wait. What?
      Rainbow Dash is straight in my fanfic?
      I'M DOING SOMETHING DAMN DIFFERENT, DAMN I-
      Wait, I'm using an OC?
      EQUESTRIA DAILY'S NEVER GOING TO POST MY DAMN STORY, DAMN IT!
      DAMN!

      ReplyDelete
    31. @Dublio

      It's actually a VERY similar story to another one, where Dash DOES actually take the plunge, while talking to Soarin'.

      I'm guessing this is a "Take the same beginning, but one character makes a single, different choice."

      ReplyDelete
    32. A million and a half thumbs up!
      Finally a "Rainbow Dash didn't make the wonderbolts" fic that is actually ACCURATE to the character.
      Too many dumb suicide fics out there. I swear people are just looking for someone to commit suicide for them and they keep picking on RD cause she looks like an easy target.

      A major plus in that the story is actually well written as well!

      ReplyDelete
    33. SPOILERS:

      This isn't a suicide fic
      There's no shipping

      The story's well-written, character dynamics are all there, and the plot was a very nice emotion-tugger. I don't read suicide fics, so I can't compare this to them. Why should I? - it's a friendshipping thing, that's what it is, and it is good.

      ReplyDelete
    34. The subversion in this fic is cute and badly needed parody.

      lol, here's that advice dog macro i asked for in the last Dash suicide fic

      "FAIL WONDERBOLT TRYOUTS

      ATTEMPT SUICIDE
      "

      http://i42.tinypic.com/b89qx3.jpg

      ReplyDelete
    35. *raises right hand*

      Go with God, my son.

      ReplyDelete
    36. Nice take on a somewhat overly used cliche. Including Rainbows outburst. Enjoyed it.

      ReplyDelete
    37. A very intelligently written story! I noted in my own 'RD fails to get into the Wonderbolts first time' fic that there's a huge gulf between losing faith in yourself after a failure and committing suicide because of it. The subversion of this was very nice (and makes so much more sense). Also, kudos for being one of those rational authors who realised that 'fail to get into the 'Bolts the first time' doesn't equal 'fail to get in FOREVER'

      ReplyDelete
    38. @Melon Hunter

      Wow...thanks Melon :)

      In all honesty, yours was the story that got this idea going, and I'm very glad that you enjoyed it :D

      ReplyDelete
    39. I was hesitant to read after the sad tag, and I almost didn't even try after seeing the suicide tag, but after reading some comments, I decided to read it, and I'm glad I did. This was very well done. I love how Dash gets down about failing, but then gets right back up, determined to do better next time. That was spot-on with her canon personality. I love how a show like this can have such multi-dimensional characters such as this. Also, I think this one should have a friendshipping tag. Friendshipping is best tag,

      ReplyDelete
    40. @rainbowflash
      Hey your not the only one with problems writing, I have pretty much the whole thing writtin, I'm just missing a good beggining

      ReplyDelete
    41. Finally a fic with suicide as a tag and I DONT commit suicide.....

      ReplyDelete
    42. To be honest, I'm really not feeling this fic. The way Rainbow Dash dealt with her failure was well written and believable, but I can not honestly believe that Pinkie Pie would come to the conclusions she did in this story. They way you handled her felt forced, included purely for the sake of drawing attention to the cliche that you were subverting and nothing more.

      Still, I'm not saying that your story was bad, in fact it had some really nice moments in it. But the way you handled Pinkie really did stretch my suspension of disbelief past its breaking point.

      ReplyDelete
    43. Aw, someone beat me in posting a RD suicide satire. Well, I guess I'll finish my scootasad satire first.

      ReplyDelete
    44. @Rainbow Dash
      First, great honor to have you comment below mine
      Two, this is first suicide I've seen where you didn't kick the bucket.

      ReplyDelete
    45. @Travis Smith

      Actually there was also her hilarious failed attempt in The Main Cast-Offs.

      ReplyDelete
    46. A well executed subversion and lamp shading of my favorite sadfic premisce.

      ReplyDelete
    47. @Gizmo9

      I've seen... five "Dash fails Wonderbolts and is depressed" stories. To Fix You, Tough Love, Shattered Rainbow this one and a FlutterDash one whose name I cannot remember.

      The only one where Dash attempted suicide was To Fix You and Shattered Rainbow (though she was quite depressed in Tough Love), and the only one where you can reasonably say that she was acting out of character was also Shattered Rainbow.

      I simply don't think this happens nearly enough to make the claims that people are using "failing the Wonderbolts" just as an excuse for authors to have Rainbow off herself.






      As far as this story goes, it was good for the most part, but I honestly have to agree that Pinkie's role in the story was rather contrived.

      ReplyDelete
    48. This was great short read. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I not sure what some of the other comments are talking about with Pinkie Pie. I thought you handled it quite well, and it wasn't as out of character as they make it out to be.

      ReplyDelete
    49. This comment has been removed by the author.

      ReplyDelete
    50. Well, it's probably a bit...late by this point, but I thought I should say that I've made a few alterations to the story.

      Nothing major: just to (hopefully) clear up the issue regarding Pinkie that Montag and a few others have highlighted, that I really didn't make clear enough first time around :)

      ReplyDelete