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Author: CLAVDIVS CAESAR
Description: A day in the life, and a glimpse into the mind, of Ponyville's favorite mail carrier and single mom. But if she had the choice of any one day for everyone to read about, it probably wouldn't be this one...Ditzy Doo's Dismally Derpy Day
Additional Tags: Frustration, pain, coping, support, discovery.
Author: CLAVDIVS CAESAR
Description: Dinky enjoys staying with Sparkler, but is still anxious to go back home to her mom. The bright young filly and the young-at-heart mare use their time together to teach each other about growing up and what it means to be family.Dinky Debates Dexterity, Destiny and Dinner (New!)
Additional Tags: Sisters discuss life, universe, everything.
81 comments:
"Frustration, pain, coping, support, discovery."
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a sad fic, too. I hope it is...
Alliteration, ho!
ReplyDeleteOooh I love Ditzy Doo Stories :D
ReplyDeleteI need to read this, now.
Cute, funny, and smart - Ditzy Doo's Dismally Derpy Day is fantastic fun for the whole family.
ReplyDeleteI like this Ditzy Doo, and Big Mac was awesome. I just wish we could've seen Ditzy put her plan for the bullies into action.
ReplyDeleteMaybe there will be sequel? :3
That was cute.
ReplyDeleteGah, I do so hate it when a story sets itself up in such a way that it could be either a one-shot or a series! Now I'm going to wait expectantly, every batch of story updates a hoof-bitingly nerve-wracking affair!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this story ^_^
ReplyDeleteThat was an absolutely fantastic story.
ReplyDeleteAlliteration, we meet again.
ReplyDeleteOutstanding work - well written, believable characterizations and a true pleasure to read. Please consider continuing...
ReplyDeleteI LOVE YOU!!! Such a great story it required Royal Canterlot Voice. I need a sequel. More Derpy gooey goodness. I was a RariMac lover. I think you just converted me. Long live DerpMac!!
ReplyDeleteThis is the author here. Firstly, yes, I'm already working on a followup focusing in Dinky and Sparkler.
ReplyDeleteThis my first pony fanfic, and I was hemming and hawing for months before submitting it, continually tweaking here and there; I needed some major encouragement before I could finally send it in, and I'm tickled pink to see how much everyone is enjoying it.
I was tired of seeing Ditzy as a one-joke pony, and I wanted to give her the kind of fair treatment I hadn't seen her get in fiction. (Some of the comics that star her, though, have been better.) My inspiration was, in a nutshell, "What if Ditzy wasn't mentally handicapped, but just kind of odd? What if she had Asperger's syndrome?" A friend's brother has it, and I've read a fair bit about it, so I tried to portray it accurately and respectfully.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@CLAVDIVS CAESAR
ReplyDeleteIf this is only your first, I cannot wait to see more from you.
:)
A one-part story about my favorite mail mare? Yeah I think I have time for this.
ReplyDeleteFive stars from me.
ReplyDeleteYou've taken a background character known only for googly eyes and the occasional mishap and given her an interesting, engaging personality. Telling this story as a slice of life style really let that shine through.
I look forward to more.
I liked the story... but...
ReplyDeleteWhere do I go to find out how it is her daughter is a unicorn?
(I would think Celestia would frown on mixing wings and horns.)
MAXIMUM D'AAAWWWWWWW
ReplyDeleteI love this story it really just spo.... D'AAWWWW
ReplyDeleteThere are no words to convey the level of D'AWWWWWWW present here.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, I find the lack of Doctor disappointing. But still, MAXIMUM D'AAAWWWWWWW
ReplyDeletei totally agree with the 4 above me . . . endless D'AWWWWWWWWW <3
ReplyDeleteUBER D'AWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Why can't this be a part of my life?! WHY AREN'T I A PONY?!?!? I mean... smashing my hoof would be pretty bad... but to have friends like that... to be a friend for friends like that. MY LIFE DOES NOT COMPARE TT^TT
ReplyDelete@jayessell
ReplyDeleteI seriously doubt Equestria is the kind of place that would have anti-miscegenation laws. :) Nah, I just figure her dad's a unicorn, and with mixed parentage there's a 50/50 chance of the kid being either. One or both parents being of mixed parentage might skew the odds, but I'm not gonna run the numbers on it.
Please don't be stupid Derpy.
ReplyDeletePlease don't be stupid Derpy.
Please don't be stupid Derpy.
@CLAVDIVS CAESAR
>What if Ditzy wasn't mentally handicapped, but just kind of odd?
YES! This is the Derpy I consider canon. When I read Today, Tomorrow, and Forever (Derpy sadfic), I liked the story, but I thought Derpy was annoying. Having no coherent speech, and randomly yelling "MUFFIN!" didn't sit well with me when Derpy didn't act that strange in any of her canon appearances. Derpy is just a klutz (Pinkie Keen), and Ditzy just has trouble following directions (Winter Wrap-Up).
It looks short, so I'll be sure to read this one soon.
Aw, poor Derpy. Ah, I mean Ditzy. Sorry, never knew calling her Derpy was considered an insult!
ReplyDeleteI like this theory of her cutie mark the best. Probably because it's one of the few that make sense or are actually useful.
Heh, according to Big Mac, Ditzy handles parties and social events much like me.
Great story. Very touching. Wouldn't mind reading more.
I prefer the Ditzy Doo over flat out Derpy, so..
ReplyDeleteYou have one of the most thought-out interpretations of Ditzy's Cutie Mark I've seen. it was a nice change from the 'she just really likes bubbles.'
Looking forward to seeing more of your work, and I'd love to see you continue with this 'verse, if not continuing this particular story.
@CLAVIDVS
ReplyDeleteI do have Asperger's. I recognized what you were aiming for, and it was very respectful.
THIS is the Der...er, Ditzy I like. I applaud you you Clavdivs for doing a such splendid job.
ReplyDeleteI did really like story. Some complaints, though:
ReplyDelete1. I feel like this should be marked just "Shipping," not "Light-Shipping."
2. Fluttershy felt out of character. Not timid enough.
3. Some language that Applejack used felt out of place("dearie").
one of the best characterizations of Derpy that ive ever read! im really looking forward to the follow up with dinky and sparkler, i'll make sure to keep my eyes peeled for it.
ReplyDeletealso, great job on your first fic! 5 stars! hope there's much more to come.
@CLAVDIVS CAESAR
ReplyDeleteInteresting. Now, as I read through your story, I assumed that you settled on characterizing Ditzy as being simply clumsy and nervous - a pony with "two left feet". If it was your intention to portray her with Asperger's syndrome, then that wasn't something that I identified.
Overall, this is a very sweet and charming story - even though Ditzy goes through some miserable trials, there is always a friend or a special someone willing to lend a word of encouragement or a helping hoof. My favourite parts would have to be Dinky Doo's worried rambling to her mother and your musing on Ditzy's special talent for understanding air currents. It's not an obvious talent like "fashion design" or "apple farming", but as Fluttershy points out, it has some very important practical applications.
I also have to give you props for your research on horse anatomy - I was very impressed with the detail and terminology you incorporated into Ditzy's horseshoe-removal scene and the later trip to the hospital. "Ditzy Doo's Dismally Derpy Day" is a wonderful read if you're in need of a 'pick-me-up', or in the mood for some light Ditzy/Mac shipping. Bravo!
@Voodoo-Tiki
ReplyDeleteThank you, I'm glad that came across like I'd hoped. I actually have a few of those issues myself, although I haven't been diagnosed, so some of it was informed by my own experience. (I don't have nearly her problem with eye contact, though.)
@Dubs Rewatcher
1. I was going to go with [shipping] originally, but it's not really the focus of the story, so calling it 'light' seemed to fit.
2. Fluttershy was a challenge to write, but I figure she can relax more around Ditzy than a lot of other ponies. Plus, Sonic Rainboom showed us that she can be assertive when needed; it's not impossible, just hard.
3. "Sugarcube" just gets too repetitive after a while. :)
@Cypher DS
Asperger's is a pretty subtle form of autism; you really have to know what to look for. But key elements I tried for are a poor grasp of social subtleties, a low frustration tolerance, difficulty restraining emotional reactions, a tendency to hyperfocus on one's interests, discomfort making eye contact with others, and being easily overwhelmed by stimulation. Physical clumsiness is common, too, but there wasn't an obvious place to work that in and I wasn't exactly working from a checklist of Asperger's symptoms anyway.
As for the anatomy, eh, five minutes on Wikipedia was all it took. :D
As a quick side note: I consider this story to share continuity with "What Do You Do With a Drunken Unicorn" (note the occasion for the party) and "The Fourth Crusader", but not necessarily every story the authors consider THOSE stories to share continuity with.
ReplyDeletehow many bits must i give to you to make more of this, i have many......well....some.....ok one.....
ReplyDelete@Jelfes
ReplyDeleteIt's not really sad. She does hurt herself pretty badly, but it's on the side of just being really stinking painful, rather than a life changing injury.
Good story. I really like this type of Ditzy over the Derpy character. Working on my own first attempt at a story I can understand what it took to get this done. Sadly I doubt mine can even come close to this. I look toward to your next story.
ReplyDeleteI still prefer Derpy over Ditzy as a name, (I simply think it has the most adorable ring to it.) but thankfully that didn't get in my way.
ReplyDeleteI felt lower lip wobble every now and then. I could relate to her so much.
Sometimes the story felt rushed, but you put a lot of characterization in it, that engaged the reader, imo, and I enjoyed that.
good job.
Five stars, doubtless! Although, I did find Fluttershy to be a bit out of character.
ReplyDeleteAs a fan of shipping, I'd love to see this one continued! Please make it happen! :D
I loved this story. Excellent job and I cannot to read more
ReplyDeleteA little clarification of what I was intending with Fluttershy, since more than one person (here and elsewhere) have commented that she seems off:
ReplyDeleteFirstly, as she's a fellow introvert, I think Fluttershy would have an easier time relaxing around Ditzy than she would around many other ponies. And we've seen on the show that she can be quite talkative when sufficiently calm or motivated.
Secondly, Element of Kindness, yo. She saw right off the bat that her friend was upset. A chance to genuinely help someone out is a powerful motivator for her.
It seemed logical to me that someone as quiet and sensitive as Fluttershy would be good at picking up subtle cues from others, if for no other reason than that most of her time socializing is spent listening and watching. Plus she's have to in order to do her job; animals in Equestria are expressive, but most still can't speak; since they can't directly tell her what's wrong, she has to infer it, and that requires keen observation. But she might not be as good with ponies as Ditzy thinks she is, because to her EVERYONE is good at it.
Lastly, someone told me that her "derp" at the end of her scene was badly out of character, because she'd know how hurtful it was. My point was that, coming from Fluttershy, it WASN'T hurtful, and that intent matters more than the actual words.* As I wrote in the story, Ditzy was making a joke when she said her hooves had gone derpy. The bullies turned it into an insulting nickname, but between her and Fluttershy it doesn't carry that baggage.
* Not to be taken as a defense of various slurs used in a "joking" context. Some words just have too much baggage for that to fly.
@CLAVDIVS CAESAR
ReplyDeleteI actually have Asperger's, although mildly, and funny thing is, during she and Fluttershy's discussion about her not picking up on social cues, I thought, "Maybe she has Aspergers!" You did a good job in that respect.
This is one of the most enjoyable things, fanfic or not, that I've read in a long, long time. I'll definitely be plugging it to all my brony friends. Bravo!
i like the humor in this fanfic. the interpretation of the cutie mark was refreshing, but i think the plot needs to be spiced up a little more. Some parts got were a little boring.
ReplyDeleteThis was very well written please continue with this story.
ReplyDeleteAll of my five stars! Take them!
ReplyDeleteI've banged out a first draft for another story; not exactly a sequel (it's Dinky-focused), but takes place shortly afterwards. I'll send it in after some much-needed spit and polish.
ReplyDeleteAnyone know how long it takes for the "Star-Needed" label to become "Star-x"?
....
ReplyDeleteOhgodohgodohgod DitzyMac yay!
I'm trying to write a DitzyMac myself (I've got a different idea in my head for Ditzy, though, so it's more... BrightMac) but... I really, *REALLY* want to see more of these two from your perspective.
I mean I'm throwing all my bits at the screen here, but nothing's happening!
I regret not reading this sooner.
ReplyDelete5 stars, good job!
derp
ReplyDeleteWell, as of two and half hours ago, I'm done with my last final exam for the semester. I have a rough draft of my next story and I'll be spending some of my newfound free time editing and polishing it before submission.
ReplyDeleteAfter that, I'm being positively swarmed by plot bunnies, so y'all can expect more from me in the future. ;)
Good to hear sequel is coming, this story was well written any enjoyable. Put 5 stars despite a small number of minor typos.
ReplyDeleteThis was a really nice little story. I don't read much Ditzy Doo stuff but I thought I'd give this a try. It was surprisingly enjoyable, and best of all, I learned some stuff thanks to the hoof injury and the later half of the story's scenes. The serious, sympathetic Doo was a contrast to how I sort of imagine her in the show, where her goofiness seemed to be more emphasized.
ReplyDeleteAh. Also, you may want to correct this:
"I'll be she's in there."
(bet)
Just read the second story and I loved!
ReplyDeleteIt reminded me of the first time my little sister heard me swear.
d'awwwwwwwwwwwww, I love this family way too much~
ReplyDeleteFriggin'. Adorable.
ReplyDeleteDinky Doo is best pony.
ReplyDeleteI demand more. As an aspie, I can say you really have nailed the personality quirks, and you write excellent character interaction. Five starred, and keep it comiing!
ReplyDeleteHNNNNNG*thud*
ReplyDeleteI WUV DIS! I wuv it so much it make me not think good! YAY!
ReplyDeleteOkay, that is frickin' adorable.
ReplyDeletei loved the ending "that bitch" -Ditzy Do
ReplyDeleteBoth of these stories are excellent.
ReplyDeleteSo if I get this right... Sparkler is the daughter of Ditzy Doo's ex-husband (by a previous marriage.)
You know, no matter how you arrange it, that's kind of tragic. Either a divorce or an affair or an out of wedlock child....
It's SAD, but I don't think it's necessarily TRAGIC. And being a single mom isn't the horrible scarlet letter it was in, say, 1950's America.
ReplyDeleteI've been assuming internally that Ditzy and the father split amicably, and while he may not spend all his time in Ponyville, he still has a relationship with his daughter like he does with Sparkler. I haven't gone into any detail about him or Sparkler's mom because it's still unsettled in my head (plus I wanted to look into existing fanon theories and see if I liked any of them), but I'm tempted to make the next story about their dad coming to visit.
@CLAVDIVS CAESAR
ReplyDeleteWhatever you choose for the next part, I'm looking forward to it :D
This part was really good.
OMG! SO. MUCH. D'awwwwwwww O.o
ReplyDeleteAlso I really like this version of Sparkler. More please!
I sort of wonder when we'll see a fic that has Amethyst Star (Sparkler) and her sister, but not as Ditzy/Derpy/Bright Eyes's children...
ReplyDeleteJust finsihed sotry 2, and once again, five stars! Aside from being hilarious, it was interesting to read. The conversation between Sparkler and Dinky flowed very naturally.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to reading more from you, Caesar!
Thanks again for the kind words, everyone. I had a blast writing this; the first story was somewhat cathartic, but this one was pure FUN. I have other stuff on my plate (I'm working on a multi-chapter adventure fic at the moment) but I plan to return to this family eventually. They just make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :D
ReplyDeleteGood job with the second story, I loved it!
ReplyDeleteLovely story, now just waiting for the 3rd ^^,
ReplyDeleteReally a nice story, and really shows ditzy as a different character - she's not just stupid. very nice language and flow as well
smooth but at points made me laugh, especially with the DT parts.
keep it up!
-Joe-
Loved the first part, and loved the second part just as much! I really do like your version of Ditzy (And the DitzyMac shipping) and Dinky Doo and Sparkler are just adorable.
ReplyDeleteWill there be a third part? I'm hoping so.
If anyone's still following the comments here, I thought I'd let you all know that I'm migrating my stuff to FIMfiction.net. It's just a lot easier to manage there. My profile page is here:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.fimfiction.net/user/CLAVDIVS%20CAESAR
@CLAVDIVS CAESAR
ReplyDeleteMy name is James and I wholeheartedly support this decision.
I wish more fics would be on FimFiction, it really is the best place to host at the moment. The only advantage I can think of for GDocs is that it has a mobile version and FimFiction doesn't.
I was really starting to get into this fic but then you lost me at the "most hated nickname" and I was all "oh here we go with another Ditzy VS Derpy name fight"
ReplyDeleteDerpy= a FICTIONAL word that was made that expresses a "Silly mistake" or has a "Derpy expression" in other words a "Silly face"
"Ditzy" is the actual insult because it states the person is accident prone, slow. It's like calling someone a blonde only more insulting.
I don't know I'll try and finish it but really I sorta lost the mood. I don't care if you call her Ditzy, Derpy or Brighteyes w/e, just don't go misinforming people and trying to spread dislike for something just because you have a bias towards one over the other.
JUST SAYING. Sure Ditzy Doo sounds like Scooby Doo~ (not really but it has the Doo) but Derpy Hooves is just as much a part of her as Ditzy and trying to make people think one is an insult over the other when Derpy is in fact the lesser of two derps, yeah...
Anyways good story, a bit too normal slice of life for me but I'll try and finish this and try and disregard anymore name favoring parts.
In case anyone still follows the comments:
ReplyDelete"Ditzy Doo's Dismally Derpy Day" has been PLAGIARIZED by FF.net user wanderingpoetoftruth.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8161262/1/Ditzy_Doos_Dismally_Derpy_Day
I have already submitted a formal copyright complaint.
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletehow much longer do you have working on and have left on part 3?
ReplyDelete@ohmybuddha
ReplyDeleteI haven't started on another story in this series yet, but I have plans for one. Instead, I've been working on something much longer and very, very different. You can find it on FIMfiction where I'm hosting my stuff nowadays.
http://www.fimfiction.net/user/CLAVDIVS%20CAESAR