[Comedy][Friendshipping]
Author: Nightwings81
Description: When Rainbow Dash catches a bad case of pegapox, she cannot fly up to her cloud house and finds herself grounded in Ponyville. Rarity and Sweetie Belle volunteer to care for her while Twilight tries to find a cure, but can the pegasus survive her well-meaning nurses long enough to use it?Fanfiction.net
Dashes, Dots, and Pegasus Spots (All Links)(New Part 6+7+Epilogue!)
Deviant Art
Dashes, Dots, and Pegasus Spots Part 1
Dashes, Dots, and Pegasus Spots Part 2
Additional Tags: Funny, friendship, frustration, illness, tolerance
49 comments:
> Pegapox
ReplyDeleteEven ponified afflictions sound better.
Friendshipping is the best type of shipping.
ReplyDeleteMay read.
seth, you derped the dA links
ReplyDeleteI suppose this is one way to get around the "Rainbow Dash breaks her wings" story "ban" from a few weeks back lol
ReplyDeleteAh, I feel so hipster now. I actually read a story before it got posted on EqD for once! I suppose it helps that I actually know the author.
ReplyDeleteRead this people! If a picky critic like me thought it was good, you guys probably will too.
Wait, wait. Let me get this straight. Rainbow Dash's wings aren't broken in an accident, and furthermore, it's just friendshipping?
ReplyDeleteMIND=BLOWN
Okay, this is one of the cutest friggin' fics I have ever read. Just...d'awww.
ReplyDeleteRainbow Dash and Sweetie Belle just have one of the best and cutest dynamics flowing between them that I've ever seen in a fanfic. SO MUCH CUTE. Chapter 4 especially. :3
I can't stop rereading this fic.
ReplyDeleteAww, this is really sweet. Can't wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteYou accidentally the dA links
ReplyDeleteIf you're ponyfying...shouldn't it be Scootapox?
ReplyDeleteExcellent story! I really enjoyed reading it. Solid 5 stars from me!!!
ReplyDeleteHHHhhhhhhnnnnnnnngggghhh.
ReplyDeleteGreat story... how am i going to wait for chapter 5?
ReplyDeletegood story so far, and the picture is so cute /)@3@(\
ReplyDeleteWawity is now confirmed for best pony.
ReplyDeleteDA links are just to a picture.
ReplyDeleteLove the story, love your writing style. Please keep it up.
ReplyDeleteI love the story, reading about Sweetie Belle's accidents and how rarity reacts to them is always great, and dash is hilarious with bobo... freaky bear from the sounds of it =P
ReplyDelete2 thumbs up for great writing style and story =)
Loved the bear, completely predictable but I still cracked up.
ReplyDeleteAnother good chapter. I loved Scoot's playing sick - not to get out of class, but just to see RD.
ReplyDeleteI put this on my to read list, so hard that I practically broke my finger clicking the bookmark button.
ReplyDeleteOh mah gawd. U R so MEEN. Giv teh poor sick poni som broccoli. Nao!
ReplyDeleteThis fic is a PURE JOY to read. I wanna just give Dashie a big old hug and tuck her into a cloud... Shame there are no clouds on the ground for her. Also, poor girl needs to find a way to ditch the freaky green bear. Tell the adorable little dictionary to look up a word that means "To remove, to make disappear.", and to define the word "Creepy".
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for the next chapter!
Scoots, you don't want to catch this!
ReplyDeleteGreat story, thanks for the update.
Looking forward to the next!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLet's try that again...I would LOVE it if anypony did art on my fiction!! And thanks for all the great reviews! I'm still slogging away at the next update
ReplyDeleteLoved this, can't wait for part six!
ReplyDeleteI'M SO HAPPY!
ReplyDelete-grunt in background-
Luna, I'm trying to sleep.
the weirdest shipping I've heard of...
ReplyDeleteComplete? Oh Shiiiii HHHHNNNNNHHGGGG.
ReplyDeleteThis story is too adorable to not make me hhhnnnnnnggggggh.
@KookieRaider
ReplyDeleteIt's not shipping.
Friendshipping is a story that builds on and elaborates a platonic relationship, not a romantic one.
Woo, one of the only stories I actually read.
ReplyDeleteThe last line of the story is absolutely perfect!!!
ReplyDeleteA satisfying ending if there ever was one.
ReplyDeleteWell done all around, really.
The bear...the bear...
ReplyDelete*curls into fetal position*
Very good fic, a fun read!
ReplyDeletePoor Rainbow.
ReplyDeleteThat bear is going to haunt her.
Amazing story. Simply amazing. Hope you write some more fanfics cause this one was damn near perfect.
ReplyDeleteI liked it.
ReplyDeleteI confess it wasn't perfect for me - it seemed as if the author felt the need to put some big action at the end of what was a perfectly fine fic with no need for it.
Anyway, that's just a minor quibble of mine. I could be wrong. Certainly I loved reading it and gave it a good 5*!
Wow. Rarity sure has next to zero respect for Dash in this. I'm surprised it took so long for Dash to explode at Rarity for basically treating her like a pet or other sub-equine whose own cares, desires, and volition don't really matter at all.
ReplyDeletehey all, author here! I'm just writing to thank everypony for all the great comments and criticisms. i have to say that seeing how other people react to my stories makes it all worth the writing.
ReplyDeleteThis story was so much fun to write. I loved playing on the almost completely opposite personalities for Rainbow and Rarity, especially with Rainbow Dash taken so far out of her element.
***SPOILER ALERT***
I did want to address the final chapter before the epilogue. I had one reader mention that Rainbow should not have been able to perform a sonic rainboom in her condition given that it required her to be in peak health and ability. In actuality, the two times Rainbow has performed a sonic rainboom (and I don't count the Lesson Zero cloud as one) her health was not the issue to complete the move. It was her sheer desire and desperation--first when she was a filly and wanted to prove herself against the bullies, and second when she was saving Rarity and the Wonderbolts. In this case, despite being so sick she couldn't fly on her own, her desire to save Ponyville and the homes of her friends gave her what she needed to pull off the move. At least, that's how I thought of it while I was writing the ending. Hope others got the same impression :)
I didn't notice until after I was halfway through the story that the fandom has given a pegasus mare the name of Cloudkicker. Sorry for those who really stick to the names listed in the wiki. I would have changed it, but had already published the first few chapters.
I am working on two other stories atm, one epic and one slice of life, and have another sol one in mind that will throw Rarity and Rainbow together again.
Thanks for reading!!!
OK. I am no longer freezing my plot off at my in laws. So here is a more clear complaint/criticism from my last comment.
ReplyDelete*** BEWARE SPOILERS ***
First off, this is my opinion. I'm not accusing the writer of trying to send this message, I'm fairly certain these were all meant to be lol-worthy. I am merely pointing out what I saw in this fic. I read the whole thing in one go, so stuff from multiple chapters really piled up for me.
The end is the end. While, like To Trot a Mile in Another's Horseshoes, this fic's ending overshadowed the entire rest of the story, that is not my biggest complaint. Missing Cloudkicker isn't it either.
My biggest complaint is how little respect Rarity seems to have for Rainbow Dash. I mean 'respect' is it's purest form. Rarity, in this fic, has absolutely zero regard for Dash as a sapient being. Her entire attitude shows she views Dash as a non-entity that shouldn't be allowed to have any say in, well, anything. Except for the initial offering of lodging, and the the very end, she pretty much runs Dash's entire existence, allowing her no say in _anything_.
A lot of these issues could have been handled better by Rarity. The thermometer bit is a perfect example of doing it right. Dash is being stupidly stubborn about something that is _important_. Literally hoisting Dash into a bath tub when talking to her for a few minutes would have sufficed is a great example of doing it wrong. Rarity could have made valid points about Dash smelling, or just yanked her out of bed, or yanked the covers away. She could have let Dash walk the rest of the way once she was out of bed. Instead, she treated her friend like a puppy.
The scene at the window was downright off-putting. I honestly want to smack Rarity. While she is not my favorite pony, the only time I have felt near this much distaste for her was in Sonic Rainboom. This scene showed clearly that she, despite knowing that Dash is pretty much over her illness, thinks her friend is incapable of making even small decisions for herself and that her will is far more important even in these minor matters than any desire of Dash's. Between this and several smaller bits that happen consistently throughout the fic, Rarity's contempt for Dash's will couldn't be clearer. She comes off, not as a friend caring for another friend, but as a bully saddled with an annoying task that she's compelled to do.
Imagine if, in Applebuck Season, Twilight had magic-ed AJ to sleep and then just harvested the whole orchard herself. AJ would be _furious_ with Twilight. And I would agree with AJ on that.
I can see how a lot of this could have been made light and humorous with a little more development an/or minor tweaking. The scene with the bath tub could have worked if/when Dash had been shown she was being stupid and then led to the tub, instead of being hoisted there. Rarity actually acting like she was being stupid and apologizing for the window scene could have highlighted that she was doing what she was doing because she cared, not because she was 'right'. But as written, I cannot honestly see Dash wanting much to do with Rarity after this.
Now Sweetie Belle. That was some good interaction.
---
I'm going to have to disagree with Pinkie now; the fastest way to lose a friend is not spilling secrets, it's treating her like a doll.
@Kits
ReplyDeleteEh. I'm not one to begrudge another's oponions, enjoying being quite opinionated myself, but I may try to temper them.
1: I agree that the way Rarity went about caring for Dash is rilesome, but it's also understandable. Rarity, like Dash, is rather young and probably has never had responsibility for another other than her cat and her sister. One is an animal, the other is a child. You can see where her fallback experience might not give her the same intuition and insight into her actions as somepony like Nurse Redheart might have.
2: If you have ever had someone placed under your care you may find that by shifting your mindset to the concerns of another, you start becoming very reactionary. You can loose sight of a sense of identity of the other person, becoming more detached, while conversely loosing objectivity and responding more emotionally and instinctively towards them.
3: There's a difference between someone not wanting to do something because they don't feel like it and someone not wanting to do something because they are strongly against it. Rarity's actions annoyed Dash but they did not upset her until the window thing because at that point Rarity was indeed being overbearing.
@DPV111
ReplyDelete1. Yes. And had this point been brought up at all in the fic, I would feel less strongly against this version of Rarity.
2. I have a 2 1/2 year old son and a pair of twins on the way. In my experience, I tend to become far more attached when they are sick. I am far more careful not to upset eiher of them. While stuff does become 'routine' and it is sometimes a shock when they get better, I've never hauled my sisters, parents, or SO out of bed and dumped them in a tub. I've argued with them about staying in bed, but have yet to attempt to overpower them to keep them there.
3. See. I got that Dash was pretty upset the first time she was lugged about like a sack of potatoes. The only reason she didn't DO anything about it was that she was laid out by birdflu.
The real thing that pushes it completely passed the point of bearability is how unapologetic Rarity is. Having her act like she feels at all bad about her treatment of Dash would have alleviated a lot of this.
I did ask two others what they thought, to sanity check myself. One didn't have an issue with anything until the window scene (well, the end, but that's a different issue altogether). The other quit reading at the bath scene for Bully!Rarity.
I'm not trying to hate on this, or make anypony who liked it NOT like it. All of my issues could have been dealt with with a bit of in-fic acknowledgement of said issues. Hopefully the author takes this criticism and keeps it in mind for next time.
@Kits and DPV111
ReplyDeleteThank you both for the comments, and Kits for the criticism. I certainly will keep it all in mind for my other stories and, it's comments like these that do help me become a better writer, which is what i am always striving to do.
i'm sorry that you felt so strongly about Rarity's actions because I certainly didn't mean to give any impression that she didn't care about Dash. Rarity's always been on the pushy and in your face side and the others have basically gotten used to it. Plus it was setting up the story arc since Dash actually had to ask Rarity to levitate her at the end, when she needed to be caught from her freefall whether she made the rainboom or not.
I will admit I might have filled in a few more plot holes, but as a reader myself, I really hate when authors spell out every single little thing rather than trusting in the imagination of their readers to fill in certain blanks.
All in all, your comments have been incredibly welcome and have not been lost on me. Please keep an eye out for future stories, if you enjoy my writing style and wish to see more.
@Kits
ReplyDeleteYou're probably right... my perspective might be slightly skewed due to working in an environment where part of my job is to assist in forcing unwanted medical attention on patients against their wills.
Wonderful, wonderful story! I found it a very entertaining read, and I highly recommend this one. It's always fun to see different characters' personalities play off of each other.
ReplyDeleteI love stories that put Rainbow Dash and Rarity together. They are such vastly different personality types, and I love to see how they handle the conflict the inevitably arises because of their differences.
I don't see Rarity as a bully, necessarily. While being the element of generosity, I think she actually does have trouble seeing things from other ponies' perspectives. Take Sisterhooves Social, for instance. I think she knows what's good for other ponies, but has a bit of trouble communicating that to others. It's a good lesson for real life, actually. There are a lot of ways to say the exact same thing, and saying something one way won't necessarily work for everyone. Sometimes one has to employ different methods until one finds a method that works. :)
The last sentens was wery good whrighting
ReplyDelete