• Story: New Neighbors (Update Chapter 10!)


    [Comedy] It's OC ponies, so have something unrelated.

    Author: Multiversity
    Description: Three new ponies from three different walks of life move to a town we're all so familiar with. One is cynical, one is frighteningly calm and quiet, and one is utterly mad. Let's see what we can do about that, eh? All the while, the shadows writhe behind them...
    New Neighbors (New Chapter 10!)

    New Neighbors (Alternate Links)

    Additional Tags: Order and Apathy, Discord, Dark is not Evil

    37 comments:

    1. Hey, a discord fic?? With Oc?? Sounds interesting enough

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    2. 'Dark is not Evil'

      that's an interesting tag.

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    3. Awesome. New reading material. I'll read and give my opinion.

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    4. The title of the fic is surprisingly relevant to the picture without meaning to be. How can this be labeled normal? That description just makes it seem so unlikely. It also seems like it would be at least labeled as Dark with that whole shadows writhing thing.

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    5. So far I see Beck, Lime, and Monochrome as OC. Interrsting names for ponies

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    6. When I first saw the title in Google Reader, I thought it said, "Screw your neighbors!"

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    7. A picture of me and Luna is always related.

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    8. I've read through three of the chapters and I have to say it's quite enjoyable. The OC's are varied and unique (and they're well-wrote enough so far) to keep the reader entertained. Writing is decent, although I saw a few typos and spelling mistakes. The Mane 6 seems well enough in character, and some of the dialogue was funny.

      Only problem I have is that it's a bit slow to get started, and I can't even begin to guess where you plan on taking this, although the above description seems to hint at trouble. Maybe chapter four will reveal something...? (I'll read that after this!)

      That being said, still a good read. 4/5 to you, Sir.

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    9. A lot of fun, keep them coming.

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    10. This is a test. Ignore it.

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    11. inb4 People raging about OCs.

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    12. @warhunter
      OC rage is mostly a ponibooru thing. The majority of the fanfic here has at least a few original characters just like most of the official episodes have at least one pony that hadn't ever been seen before, and they're generally damn well written, so there are few objections.

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    13. Mary Sues and most self-inserts don't get past the prereaders, so the majority of the badly done OCs never get to EqD.

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    14. Nice read so far, would gladly read more.
      Also, I second the comments about the story picking up slowly. Omnious suggestions can only get you that far, if there is nothing really going on.

      P.S. Might be my personal taste, but I rarely see shipping fics that develop slow enough, and rarely see adventure fics that develop fast enough. Go figure :)

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    15. wow keep writing this, im enjoying this so much, the characters +drools+ need more info on monochrome though

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    16. @Multiversity
      dude, this is so freakin sweet. I don't see why people are complaining that it picks up slow. You actually made some pretty damn interesting OC ponies, and thats kept my attention. my fav is defiantly Lemon Lime, but Monochrome is pretty awesome too, especially how you described his preferences for style and aesthetics compared to rarity's, and his backstory is pretty clever too. I like the idea of Stormburg. ANd the Mane 6 aren't presented poorly either.

      And this should have a comedy tag! chapter 4 and 5 had me giggling maniacally, especially the bit with Meter's ursa minor and Hydra illusion thing, and the bit with Tom. Seriously, the visuals were hilarious.

      I cannot wait for more. this looks like its got a lot of potential, and a bigger story in the making. And btw, about that note you left at the end of chapter 5. Why not just use the pony creator?
      http://generalzoi.deviantart.com/art/Pony-Creator-Full-Version-254295904?q=gallery%3Ageneralzoi&qo=0

      Can't wait for more/too long a comment

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    17. I'm not very good at drawing ponies, but I want to try drawing the OCs in this fic.

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    18. Loved the bit with the crowbar :D
      First time in I don't even know how long that a story made me legitimately laugh... I applaud you for that.

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    19. @Risky

      Yeah, I've seen the creator. Don't know how to print my ponies, though.

      @Rachel Lynn

      Have at it!

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    20. The story is interesting, as are the OC's, especially Monochrome and Lime, but what really has me interested is Morphic Flash, master of dimension.

      (and YES, that is a play on master of magnet)

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    21. Interesting but strange. Talent slippage is an interesting name but I always preferred Cutie Mark Failure Insanity Syndrome.

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    22. If I may, I'd like to apologize for the quality of my last chapter. I have difficulty reading my own work, and tend to skim, which defeats the purpose of proofreading, methinks. FF.net is being stupid right now, but I'll try and get the fixed chapter out as soon as I can. And as for you, Risky, Chapter 6 was SUPPOSED to be erratic like that, as most of it was viewed through the fogged lens of crazy that is Beck. I apologize for any missed moments this may have caused.

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    23. I like Beck even though he's freakishly tall. Lemon Lime seems OK. He's just not acclimated yet. Monochrome I try to like but he's coming off as pretty Gary Stu so far. (Of curse I also personally resent him, getting all that attention from Dash and not caring at all.)

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    24. This story is so full of wat it's almost as wut as Double Rainbow was.

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    25. Personally I love this story.

      You have done an excellent job of your character development. I still love the back and forth Lemon and Pinkie had about the crowbar. It seems like Lemon is a potential fourth wall breaker... but getting back to my point, each character has a unique personality and is defined in excellent detail.

      I am going to be trying my own hands at a, similar concept, story soon (just with "darker" characters), and so far this story has served as a reference guide almost, of how it is supposed to be done.

      If and when I draw my OC ponies up and they don't look terrible I will do my best to draw yours up as well as my thank you present to you :)

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    26. @Multiversity

      *reads latest chapter intro* Exploding roses... maybe... if I could introduce enzymes which would reduce certain bonds in glycerin-like molecules... maybe I could also code for nitriles and peroxides... yes, time the expression using the pigment genes in the petals... compartmentalize the components in the various organelle-generated liposomes... some fusion proteins to fuse the lipid bi-layers at the right moment.. *evil grin* IT... COULD... WOOOORRRRRKKK!!! >:D

      *Now look what you've done! You've given an IDEA to a mad scientist! YOU FOOL!! YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL!!*

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    27. @Multiversity

      Pinkie hurting a being of order... when Discord could do nothing to him. Oh my, this could lead to very chaotic places.

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    28. Don't worry about your chapters being rushed. Write with passion, cut the diamond rough, then polish it later.
      So far I have no negative feedback about this story. I'm just intrigued and wish to know more.

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    29. Wow. I feel I'm alot like Lemonlime and Monochrome. I'm like Lemonlime because of my shyness, liking of plants/nature, and love of Fluttershy. I'm also like Monochrome because of my lack of expression of emotion. I really like the story so far and I'd like to see some more shipping between Fluttershy and Lemonlime.

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    30. What the heck? Why are order and apathy italiscized and together?

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    31. What is going on? I've never read this "new" chapter before, I know that. But I SWEAR I've read one that comes after this...
      Did you have another chapter up that you took down?

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    32. @DPV111

      Never mind. After checking teh reviews on Fanfiction.net I see what's going on now.
      Well I'm not overly anal about OC "rules" as long as the STORY comes first, but if you feel the need for a rewrite I can only expect things get better than before so I won't complain.

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