[Light Shipping] [Normal]
Author: MalevolentSpoon
Description: It's the coldest day of the year, and Rainbow Dash is stuck outside. Desperate for some better protective clothing, she turns to a friend for help. But what will she do when she finds that friend broken down and crying?
In the Chill of Winter
Additional Tags: Rainbow Dash, Light Shipping, Crying, Friendship
Additional Story After the Break!
[Shipping][Sad]
Description: When Dash gets the worst news of her life, Rarity takes it upon herself to help Dash heal... and discovers her true feelings towards the pegasus in the process.to the mooon
Additional Tags: Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Wonderbolts, healing
66 kommentaari:
Rainbow Dash and Rarity?
VastaKustuta...I can safely say I've never seen this pairing before.
@ToonNinja There was a well-done one posted recently. It's probably on the second page.
VastaKustuta@ToonNinja
VastaKustutaThere was one up a few days ago, till then I don't think any had been posted.
Did I miss something somewhere? Where is this RarityDash shipping coming from?
VastaKustutaI've read over 50 Dash ship fics and just in the past two days we've gotten two RarityDash fics.
<_<
Seems weird that these 2 would ever ship. Just such a difference in character. That could mean that if the story is written well, it would be amazing if they made it seem believable somehow though
VastaKustuta_Another_ RariDash uploaded before I can even write my own? Ugh!
VastaKustutaWell at least people will be used to the pairing by the time I get my story out, haha.
Will read this when I get home from work.
Something about winter that I just love as a setting. I shall read this.
VastaKustutaGot to the end of this, saw the first name in the honorable mentions... moved on.
VastaKustutaThe Combinatorics Project had Rarity and Rainbow as a celebrity couple. Of course, the point of TCP is explicitly to invoke every pairing, so maybe it doesn't count.
VastaKustuta*complete tag*
VastaKustuta*end of the story says there will be more*
I am confused by this.
still, good to see a shipping story around friendSHIP, rather than romance.
Don't get me wrong, I like romantic ships as much as nonromantic ones, it is just a lot harder to find good fics in the latter category.
Fics like this one.
Thank you for the fic! I'll waste no time reading it!
VastaKustutaRarity/ Rainbow is still something I wouldn't usually read but at the same time the promise of anything happy along with it being light shipping made me read it anyway.
VastaKustutaIt was fairly sweet, I liked it. I like the idea behind it and while I can't see Rarity being quite that upset over blueblood its still a good idea and fairly in character.
I'll give it a four becuase it was pretty well done and they were both kept in character for the most part.
Now if you'll excuse me I have a certain stuck up insufferable prince to go double taxes for or something.
This was impressive. Short but not rushed, good emotion. Heck, it even made me like Rainbow Dash for a time.
VastaKustutaOk, one thing I will note is that I liked the moment where Rainbow called Rarity "Rare".
VastaKustutaI mean - it's really odd, when Mane 6 are calling each other their full names all the time. It feels like they are at the Gala 24/7
And while ponies with two part names have it simple (just call them by the first name) - Pinkie, Twilight and Rainbow - and Applejack can be called AJ, I always had problems with Rarity and Fluttershy.
So "Rare" struck a right chord. Good job.
One of the tags is "complete"
VastaKustutaYA DUN GOOFED EqD!
I finished it after taking a break from it.
VastaKustutaIt was really good, for a light ship. 4/5.
is this another lesbo pony story?
VastaKustutaI wouldn't call this a five, but I gave it a five anyway because I hate seeing a good story brought down by ratings that misrepresent its quality.
VastaKustutaQuite an interesting idea, I'll read it.
VastaKustutaWhat the...?
VastaKustutaAnother one?
In Just a few days?
What madness is this?
It's almost as terrifying as that Baby Pinkie Pie in the commercial I just saw.
@DerpyHooveS
VastaKustutaThere's nothing saucy in it at all and if there was, Seth/Cereal/Phoe would warn us.
Crying is a tag now? What not sad enough for SAD?
VastaKustutaRarity is hard to ship. Her standards are, I think, too high for most of the cast. Pinkie/Rarity wouldn't work at all, for example, but I think this is just close enough to work.
VastaKustutaIt's an okay story, but I feel Rainbow Dash's "feelings" for Rarity sprout up rather abruptly, especially for nothing to be done with them. Other than that it's pretty decent.
VastaKustuta@Nine
VastaKustutaWell, Pinkie is technically shippable with anypony so you could make a RarePie ship but I think it'd be more sauce than substance.
Sorta like a dull steak only made good by sauce, if that's possible. >_>
The pic is adorable. Idk why but I like the idea of RD/Rarity.
VastaKustutaYou know.
VastaKustutaI kinda like it, and can't wait to see more.
Though, it seems rather arbitrary that Rarity waited until winter to have her epic breakdown.
I just couldn't get into this.
VastaKustutaThe characters felt bland and slightly off, and the prose just wasn't engaging. I hate having to say this, since it's great to see more RariDash out there, but I just absolutely couldn't get into this story at all. :/
I'm kinda done with Lesponies.....
VastaKustutaRarity being upset that Blueblood was ignoring her after she broke her glass slippers so 'prince charming' could never, ever find her at the Gala makes absolutely no sense and jarred me out of the story. Blueblood didn't even ignore her at the gala. He never rejected her. He just treated her like shit. Her being upset that she could have ever wanted to be with such a ponce? Sure. Her being upset that her gala dress was covered in cake? eyup. Her pining over a moron that treated her terribly? Sorry, it doesn't work and makes her seem like an idiot.
VastaKustuta@Bunnylisk I saw it as Rarity being upset that her fantasies were not true. I'll reiterate: Rarity is sad that Blueblood was the moron she thought he wasn't; her fantasies were falling down about her, and she was trying to rebuild, but couldn't.
VastaKustutaSO MUCH WIN
VastaKustutaStories from pictures and pictures from stories.
VastaKustutaI love the reciprocal relationship.
RariBow is sure popular lately, isn't it? Not that I'm complaining or anything.
VastaKustutaI don't really feel like the premise fits with Rarity's established character. Rarity's self esteem is way too high to dwell on a silly crush that didn't work out--she's a beautiful, successful mare that can bat her eyelashes at most colts and get whatever she needs. And even if Rarity was the type to continue on with a clearly one-sided crush, I seriously doubt it would be Blueblood. Sure, Rarity used to fawn over Blueblood, but by the end of The Best Night Ever she seemed thrilled to be shot of him, even stomping that glass slipper of hers. I get the impression that even if Rarity is still holding out hope for a Prince Charming, it wouldn't be one like Blueblood, who mistreated her to the point of ruining her entire evening. She's better than that.
And I feel like the shipping came up kind of suddenly. There's no indication that Rainbow feels anything besides friendship for Rarity until near the end--if Rainbow really was waiting a whole year to tell Rarity her feelings, why is this not mentioned in the first place? There's not enough implication in the rest of the story for anyone to reach that conclusion. Off the top of my head, all I can think of is Rainbow stroking Rarity's mane, but even that can be explained--my female friends admire their female friend's hair all the time without any hint of romantic tension, and stroking someone's hair is an acceptable way of comforting someone.
And on Rarity's part, if she's still in such a state over Blueblood, why does she suddenly feel such an attraction for Rainbow? Her feelings seem just as sudden as Rainbow's do in such a context, especially considering that its a STALLION she's crying over. Why would Rarity seem so eager to get into a relationship with Rainbow Dash, a mare, when she's still getting over Blueblood, a stallion? It always bothers me when ship fics don't really make sexual orientations clear--are we just supposed to assume everypony is bisexual until its said otherwise?
I don't have any nitpicks on how its written, since I can't think of any distracting style issues that take away from the piece. My main criticism is Rarity being so OOC and the weakly defined shipping. Just because something is classified as light shipping doesn't mean the shipping shouldn't still feel natural.
are you still working on "A Bedtime Secret"'s storyline? i liked this, but i really wanna see the conclusion to you're other stories.
VastaKustutaI'll add this to my (long) list of fics I have yet to read.
VastaKustutaOn a side note: One thing I found irritated about shipping is that I can't read multiple fics about a single character at once due to my subconsious mind getting confused.
"...crafted out of leather and colored snowy-white..." Wait. Out of leather? Like... from cattle? What?!
VastaKustutaMagical Trevor awaits the second chapter of this story patiently! It was well done, and the shipping certainly seems light, like the tag says. One likes regular shipping, don't get Trevor wrong, but there are so many stories that don't explain WHY they like each other, happens too fast, ext. Anyhoof, next chapter please!
VastaKustuta~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
Oh my, that Wonderbolts scarf.
VastaKustutaI could buy that in an instant if it was real.
Now I'm not a fan of F/F shipping, but this has some pretty good writing. The characters had a very healthy growth in their relationship and didn't feel forced. The one thing that dissapointed me was the fact that the story didn't seem to go anywhere. I'm giving this 4 stars just for the writing style.
VastaKustutaThis is good, and i want more of it.
VastaKustutaVery good work.
@Wierd:
VastaKustutaUmm, the author SAYS that there's more than one chapter, okay? This isn't a one shot, so the story doesn't have to be quite as rushed or anything. Just hold your horses! (... XD Wow, didn't even MEAN to make that pun!)
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
@GWGV
VastaKustutaThere are a lot of reasons to like someone, and saving someones life/being saved by someone can change your life forever. This seams to be where Rarity's crush on Dash comes from, and is perfectly understandable even if she is normally attracted to Stallions.
Knowing ahead of time that its a ship between two ponies sorta ruins things as it already foreshadows the plot, and the surprise/plot twist factor of when it happens in the script, though I do understand that the preview/tags are to let readers know its something they want/dont to read. The italicized and ...beautiful comment early on lets the reader know Dash is somewhat interested in Rarity, and the story shows the other side though neither pony can admit it yet. I do have to agree not much has been established for WHY Dash to want Rarity, but that might be yet to come.
Finally, Rarity's established character just shows she wants the status and lifestyle of royalty/nobility. That night she hated Blueblood, and meant it. That does not establish a finality to it. Her entire life and her goals wont be changed by him, in her mind she will justify everything he did as her fault to keep this dream a reality as that is her character. We saw pretty much all the main cast go crazy at some point, some more pronounced like poor pinky, and sad to say, human reasoning shows this to be true as well. Look at women who get beat by their husbands say its their fault their boyfriend/husband hits them. Its stupid to you or me, but true in their mind. Dont dismiss things so easily.
sorry for the wall of text. great story so far.
Complete? But in story it says incomplete…
VastaKustutaCan't wait for Chapter 2!
VastaKustutaThere's another story part to this? Unexpected but awesome. Reading now. :D
VastaKustutaWhat is it with injuries (emotional and physical) in shipping stories? There are other excuses for love to be discovered, because now it is just damn over-used.
VastaKustuta... Eh, it was only meh, if only for one reason: Why can't Rainbow Dash just join the military then? Seriously, what's the big deal? If Spitfire, Misty, and any other mares can get in and pass, what makes Spitfire think that Dashie would never be able to join? All she has to do is get into the military, and then pass some test or something. Doesn't sound that hard to Trevor, especially when we're talking about a pony as determined as Dashie is. It just doesn't make much sense logically, other than that's what needs to happen to help with the shipping. So... While it WAS well written, it just didn't grip Trevor's attention, as there was a glaringly obvious solution to the problem, and it was never considered or brought up at all. Just seems rather... Shallow? That's not the right word, but Trevor is tired from mowing the lawn, and is too lazy to think up the right term. Anyhoof, keep writing! You ARE a good writter! (Trevor just couldn't get into this one chapter due to something that seem(s/ed) like an obvious solution that nopony talked about.)
VastaKustutaHmmm. Did NOT expect to see it up so fast. I didn't even get to write my Author's Notes!
VastaKustuta@aJonathan
Believe me, I tried to do so without it... didn't work. You can't pair these two up for ANYTHING!
@Magical Trevor Well Trevor, although you have a very good point that Rainbow Dash could just join the military let me ask you this, If Rainbow Dash saved your life you would probably want to protect her life also, so would you recommend her to join the military and have the possibility that she may go to war with another nation and be killed in battle?
VastaKustutaWas not expecting a second part to this, however I'm very glad :D
VastaKustutaThe whole Dash-can't-join-the-Wonderbolts-because-they-are-military thing feels like it needs more explanation. The letter says she can't, but not why. I would have then thought the first thing she would do is go see Spitfire and ASK why. Also, Rarity was way too quick in telling her love. The first story was great, but the second story didn't really add anything at all.
VastaKustutaI really liked the first story. :3
VastaKustuta(placing very dark storm cloud over writer's head)
VastaKustutastill can't believe how strong this Dash ship thing is.
Overused formula in writing fics if you ask me.
VastaKustutaPony gets sad -> other pony helps them get over it-> love happens.
Makes it feel unnatural and makes me question if the ponies in question really do feel love for each other or if they're just going with the moment. Dangit.
I liked Chapter 1 the most b/c it was mostly friendshipping. Chapter 2 was meh.
@Magical Trevor
VastaKustutaWell Trevor, you make a point, but building on your point here was my major problem: How the hell didn't Dash know this? Clearly it would be public knowledge that the Wonderbolts are a part of the military, so how does Dash not know this? She spent years worshiping them and never once thought to do research on them? You wouldn't even have to research if they are that well known. You could look at a flier or ask someone, and they'd tell you. Plus with as much contact as the mane cast gets with Princess Celestia, you're telling me that 1. She can't get any pull from that, and 2. Celestia never informs Rainbow Dash of the fact that she can't join the Wonderbolts, despite knowing that it's her life long dream? I mean I know Celestia is a troll in all of our minds, but in a more serious story I don't think she'd allow Rainbow to waste her life training to get into a group she has no chance of getting into. Plus surely Dash must have figured out they were an extension of the military when she spent the whole day with them? There is just so much wrong with this being used as an excuse as to why Dash can't join the Wonderbolts. Since it creates the basis for the major conflict of the story, I feel that since its reasoning is illogical and weakly structured, the rest of the story seems to follow suite. I was kind of disappointed because I really enjoyed the first part and was hoping the second part would be just as enjoyable. It's a decent read,but when it lacks a sound conflict it just doesn't do it for me.
Well, the "Dash can't join the Wonderbolt" issues have been addressed by both Mist Skye and Trevor already. Its really a rather large plot hole. Slight addition to Mist Skye's comment about the mane cast: Twilight is Celestia's personal student. That should be of some help as well, at least.
VastaKustutaOther then that, how does Rarity "discovering" her feelings for Rainbow work here? The end of chapter one very strongly suggests she already has those feelings (and seems to suddenly realize Dash has them for her as well), but is waiting for Dash to make the first move (presumably not to rush the issue).
Finally, as said by others, this "confessing your feelings whils ta pony is at her lowest" things... it just bothers me. I rather liked the way you handled things in chapter one. That is how it should be done. Rainbow has her feelings, but she realizes Rarity just needs her support right now and doesn't need more emotional ballast. What Rarity does in chapter 2 (and what is often done in shipfics) just seems selfish and inconsiderate to me.
Well, not only that, but in answer to your question... Yeah, Trevor would. Why? Because A) It's her life-long dream; it's part of what makes her who she is, and B) It's FREAKING EQUESTRIA! It's been HOW long since the last war? One means, for crying out loud, there's not that much that's dangerous! For instance, it was Twilight and co. that was sent to deal with the dragon, not the Wonderbolts or the military. There is absolutely no sense in that, as the Wonderbolts would A) be able to fight WAY better than the mane six, and B) being performers as well, would have a WAY better diplomacy chance, score, whatever you want to call it, than would the mane six.
VastaKustutaTrevor's sorry, but it just doesn't make sense.
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
Well, if this bothers you guys this much, I could have Seth pull story 2 down and do it over.
VastaKustutaI apologize if this wasn't up to expectations, I went through 4 different plot ideas before I settled on this one, and each time I guess I worked away from the first story more and more.
I'll try to have something re-done soon, I'm just so burnt out over this pairing right now. Trying to put them together is becoming much more of a challenge then I originally expected.
@malevolentspoon
VastaKustutaI'm not trying to say your story is terrible, I'm saying there are a few issues that work against it. The writing is fairly decent, and the plot is fair, it's just the cause of the major conflict either needs to be: changed, or elaborated on. Also the resolution needs a little work.
I really enjoyed what you were trying to do don't get me wrong, hell I'd be willing to help you amend it and pre-read for you if you'd like. Hit me up if you would be willing to accept my offer.
@Mist Skye
VastaKustuta'fairly decent'
'fair'
These are hardly the words I wish to hear my readers use to describe my work, sir.
Now, I appreciate your offer, believe me, but I insist that I repair my mistake my way. You all brought up very valid criticisms. Criticisms that I will take at heart when preparing my next attempt at the sequel, I promise you. I hate having to make you all wait more, but you can't rush perfection!
Then again, you can't rush me either. :P
@DerpyHooveSno i think its just sorta advancing there friendship not lesbo
VastaKustutaI want to read the second story. :(
VastaKustutaFirst one was cute. I loved the subtlety there. :) I suppose there'll be a follow-up where RD and Rarity both stop playing these games?
Autor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.
VastaKustuta@malevolentspoon I liked it, and like all fan fics I like I pasted into a word document, so I still have chapter two even though you took it down. Anyways the point is that people seem to be complaining because you just had them fall in love due to events that happened due to their friendship. Since you're already re-writing it I would suggest actually having them obscurely think to themselves, then say to one another why they love each other. I'm a guy, but I grew up in a house with only my mother and sister. In a nutshell I was raised by women, so I ended up watching a lot of love story movies when I was a kid. I still watch one with them every now and then, so I kinda know how to write one. I'm just a critic though, and all I do is give out advise to those I think may need or appreciate it.
VastaKustutaAutor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.
VastaKustuta