Author: Lounge_Lizard
Description: Sweetie Belle, alone and dejected, comes across TheThe Guidance and Patronage of Trixie Part 1
Great and Powerful Trixie, who was ostracized for her prior misdeeds
involving the Ursa Minor. Trixie becomes Sweetie Belle's tutor, giving
Sweetie (and perhaps herself as well) both the guidance and
companionship she needs.
The Guidance and Patronage of Trixie Part 2
The Guidance and Patronage of Trixie Part 3
The Guidance and Patronage of Trixie Part 4
The Guidance and Patronage of Trixie Part 5 (New!)
The Guidance and Patronage of Trixie Part 6 (New!)
The Guidance and Patronage of Trixie (All Links)
Additional Tags: Trixie, Sweetie Belle, mentor, emotional, loneliness
70 comments:
dat description...
ReplyDeleteNever seen a fanfic like this before, should be very interesting. :)
ReplyDeleteYour story reminds me a lot of Transendence, mostly the frustration that doesnt show from the crusaders mishaps. But what I'm looking forward to, The Great and Powerful Sweetie! It also makes me wonder, what kind of magic would help a singing talent? If unicorns have magic to match their talents that is.
ReplyDeleteThis is definitely something I've never seen before. Trixie helping other ponies? Is that possible, or even allowed?!
ReplyDelete" Sweetie Belle, alone and dejected"
ReplyDeleteWat? Gonna have to read this one.
TRIXIE!
ReplyDeleteThe sad fics... why so many sad fics =(
ReplyDeletePoor Sweetie Belle, she doesn't seem to get much facetime by herself. Usually you see all of the CMC members at the same time, and Applebloom and Scootoloo get their own fanfics about themselves, but I don't recall Sweetie Belle in many fanfics by herself. She needs more hugs.
ReplyDelete-hugs Sweetie Belle-
@dublio
ReplyDeleteYeah, shes about as under appreciated as Applejack...
Must read this!
ReplyDelete@PaperCamm
ReplyDeleteLounge_Lizard here. I had to consider what kind of magic she might use too and how it might interact with other 'normal' unicorn magic like levitation and light spells.
Also, I can't say I've ever heard of 'Transcendence', sorry. ^^;
Am I the onlypony who couldn't stop reading this in the voice of Applebloom? -.-"
ReplyDeleteHmm. The complete 180 AJ does bothers me a bit, especially after she reveals she had heard Trixie's story. Other then that though, enjoyed it enough.
ReplyDelete"Sweetie Belle"
ReplyDeleteREADING
@Phluorescent
ReplyDeleteYay figured out how to change my blogger display name.
I am the author and I had that very same problem while writing Sweetie's dialogue. Just try to think of her squeaky-ness, it helps. xP
I'm liking this. The "sad" isn't super sad, and it looks like over the course of the story it's going to turn happy (or at least less-sad) which is exactly the direction I like for this sort of thing. :) Applejack's reversal at the end is a bit sudden, true, but at the same time I think her reaction was overly harsh to begin with - Trixie didn't actually do anything _wrong_ in Boast Busters, it was Snips and Snails that brought the Ursa Minor to town. Trixie even did her best to vanquish it, and had her home and all her worldly possessions destroyed in the process. So it's okay for Applejack to cut her some slack.
ReplyDeleteI told the author in googledocs already, and would like to repeat to a larger audience that this story works greatly for me. Both Sweetie Belle and Trixie are handled rather well. It does kind of break my heart that Rarity and Sweetie Belle have so much trouble, and I feel that at some point when Sweetie Belle blew up, then collapsed, Applejack should have at least asked, if not insisted, to consult Twilight. But overall, if it continues as strongly as these two chapters, this could turn out to be a favorite of mine.
ReplyDeleteAlso, yes, I feel the [Sad] tag should not be over-interpreted. It is serious (and does not lack comic relief), but it's not heart-rending in the least. Yet.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I'm interested. I never thought that Trixie would be a good teacher for Sweetie Belle, but now that I see it, I think this'll end well.
ReplyDeleteTo chapter 2!
Promising stuff so far.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I'm MORE interested. The anger in Trixie's voice even at the mention of Twilight's name. *shudder*
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't blame AJ for that complete 180. Trixie made a terrible impression the first time she was there, and her later confrontation with Twilight (explained in the story), didn't help.
I really like this story. Here's hoping for a quick update!
Not gonna comment on Trixie's psych since that's been done to death. But I'm gonna guess that Sweetie's magic is more in the ultrasonic to micro-seismic range rather than kinetic on the macro scale. More or less, she controls vibrations. If that's because she's still got a way to go development wise, or inherent skill bias, I dunno, but she should be decent at breaking kidney stones at the very least.
ReplyDeleteI liked it so far. Only thing that bothered me was how AJ tells that Twilight kicked Trixie's ass and drove her away from Ponyville when Trixie was retrieving her stuff from her, that just doesn't sound like Twilight to me. But maybe when we hear more about that part of the story it will make more sense.
ReplyDeleteBoth trixie and sweetie characters are brilliant in this and just work. I'm glad that sweetie has a different persona to other fics. Looking forward to readin more of this..
ReplyDeleteI like this fic a lot, all the characters seem well represented.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to lounge lizard! Made it to EqD! ^_^ one of my favorite fanfic writers!
ReplyDeleteThis fanfic is working quite well IMO, Its perfectly believable to me and you got me crying in Chapter 2. Looking forward to future chapters, Thanks.
ReplyDelete^BTW, Though Trixie was super-braggy I can't wrap my mind around her being evil or something. I can't see Gilda as a complete jerk either, I can't even picture Discord as a complete jerk. I suppose that's partially why I enjoyed the fic so much.
ReplyDeleteCan't say as I care for some of the characterization here. I don't doubt Twilight might give a lecture, but I don't think she'd get into a fight without being goaded like crazy. Then again, she was dealing with Trixie, so that might've happened. As for Rarity, well, I really hope that hoofslap thing was Sweetie Belle's imagination and not what actually happened. That would be way out of character for her.
ReplyDeleteThe rest of the story isn't bad by any means, and I do like Applejack's portrayal, as well as Sweetie Belle's. I'll have to wait and see how things turn out before rating, but it's around 3.5 right now.
Odd premise, lovely execution. Told you this much already, but I'll happily say again that it's a delight to read.
ReplyDeleteIm SO gonna read this till the end- Can´t wait for more chapters. Very well written especially the part where Sweetie Bell is afraid to be abdone by Trixie. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteI'm kinda hoping that they have Trixie return in Season 2. Some sort of redemption episode, where she apologizes or something.
ReplyDeleteA very heartfelt and touching story so far. I really look forward to seeing more of this!
ReplyDelete@cursormortis
ReplyDeleteI think its interesting that a lot of people get hung up on Rarity's actions without waiting for the explanation, especially after Applejack said 'I wanted to just think of you as some storybook villain who wants to hurt other ponies, but it isn't that simple'.
I would have thought that people would take that sort of idea and realize that villains are complex people too with feelings, rather than just assume I have (as an author) simply wrote off Rarity as some horrible pony. She is in my list of characters at title of each chapter, do people think I'm going to ignore her role in this? At the very least I would hope that people would suspend judgement until they have the whole picture.
Perhaps it was a bad decision of mine to submit the story with a main character of the show being cast in a negative light, but regardless I hope that future chapters will improve your opinion of Rarity's characterization.
@Lounge_Lizard
ReplyDeleteI suppose it's because you have it so that all the focus so far has been on Sweetie Belle and Trixie while Rarity's character has been very removed from actual present interaction. It gives the sense to the reader's that we aren't ever going to see things from her side. Some might see the story as going in the direction that Rarity is a horrible person and that Trixie is here to save her and be the true parental figure. Having Rarity slap Sweetie Belle with her hoof in a very quick flashback probably doesn't help this at all.
Now, I don't see it that way, I understand that there's more to this but you have to realize that certain things in the way you have the story are the reasons for why so many people are seeing things the way they are.
A way to potentially stem off this idea is by having us see some things from Rarity or at the least have her have more involvement in the story outside of just being mentioned or in flashbacks.
If you need a pre-reader and consultant then just ask me. I've done good work for the story 'Shadows of the Sun' by TheAmberFox, just ask them about me being legit, I could help you spot these things if you feel that you could use someone like me.
I'm really digging the hey out of these Trixie stories lately. Especially the ones that portray her as more than just a boastful braggart. In a way, she reminds me of Shampoo of Ranma 1/2 in the way that she can talk the talk and wants to be respected. Though, in Shampoo's case, she can also walk the walk when necessary.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, Trixie is quickly becoming one of my favorites due to the fandom picking her apart. I'm hoping that we may yet see her again later this season in the way many are interested in seeing Luna this weekend. My only main gripe is that it felt a little quick that Trixie warmed up to Sweetie Belle in only one morning, after three days of essentially ignoring her. I would have liked it stretched out a little more but it was sweat how things turned out regardless.
Keep it up!
@Specter Von Baren
ReplyDeleteThanks, I had already planned out that Rarity would get be getting some important scenes next chapter (yay planning). I too understand that its coincidental based on what material I presented up front, as you said.
I haven't heard of that fic you mentioned, but I don't mind additional pre-readers. Drop me a message on one of my accounts (da / FiMFic or otherwise).
That being said, I have lots of lifestuff coming at me so I don't know how much I'll have for you to read any time soon. xD
Very promising :3
ReplyDeleteA sweet story about Sweetie.
ReplyDeleteOdd how rare stories that focus on her are. But I just wnat to pet her so much right now.
The confrontation with AJ worked better than I hoped. Nice story until now, hope to read more soon :-).
ReplyDeleteI need more of this.
ReplyDeleteAfter watching the new episode, I thought it would be important to mention this to those waiting for my next chapter.
ReplyDeletePlease understand, my story was fully planned in summary before the start of Season 2. As it is, certain aspects of my story as I planned to write them no longer fit with the established show canon that came after the most recent episode in the new season aired, and I apologize. You may not see it now, but this will be apparent when I post my next chapter. To rewrite my story to accommodate this change is likely not possible, at least not without such significant adjustments as to lose the original story in the process.
I understand that some of you may no longer wish to read my story or find it difficult to accept the ideas I ask the reader to accept in light of new canon, since my fic is now essentially a S1-locked story. This will probably become more true if an episode involving Trixie was made for S2 as well. Regardless, I hope those of you who do continue to read it can still find my story enjoyable,
@Lounge_Lizard:
ReplyDeleteWe all know that while Season 2 progresses some stories we love will become un-canon, because the episodes show persons and families in another light. That's logic and no drama at all (the only solution would be to send no new episodes or seasons and I think that could be bad).
I think it is no problem to read a story in the knowlegde that another story (or even a "canon" episode) tells about the ponies in another light – I for example like the "good" Trixie in this story, but I like also the "bad" Trixie in "the night that never ended" or "The suns song". So I (and I think most others too) will just read this story as an interesting alternative to the more "canon" stories which will appear later; so do not grow grey hairs, just continue the story in the way you planed it :-).
Yeah, this was heavily jossed by Sisterhooves Social, but I think everypony understands, especially since it's downright impossible at this point to revise it to fit with canon, considering the death of Rarity's and Sweetie Belle's parents is so integral to the story. A "pre-season 2" disclaimer is all you need.
ReplyDeleteHmm... Trixie returns and tries to redeem herself by teaching Sweetie Belle about magic.
ReplyDeleteAWW YEAH! Hope she succeeds.
Is this an update on the horizon?
ReplyDeleteTo the chapter!
Finally got around to reading chapter 3. Excellent as always. I have to wonder how Rarity is going to reconcile with Sweetie Belle when she seems to have already found someone to fill that sisterly role, it hurts to know that when Rarity finds out about Trixie that it will only end in disaster.
ReplyDeleteSo good, its painful to read... Moar please.
ReplyDeleteIt would be so nice to see an update for this story soon; I still think that this "pairing" work's wonderful and it doesn't matter for me if some parts of the story now bids with the canon tv-episodes.
ReplyDeleteThere so needs to be more of this.
ReplyDeleteMore is coming. Ch4 is 5.5k words written, still work in progress.
ReplyDeleteHuzzah! Looking forward to it.
ReplyDeleteIts up!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteJust finished reading chapter 4. I admit I would have preferred continuing the present story instead of devoting almost the entire chapter to flashbacks. Still, you painted a very interesting past for Trixie, and I like the heartwarming end of the chapter.
ReplyDeleteThis chapter seems to be noticeably darker than the previous three chapters. Are future chapters going to follow suit?
Wow... Last chapter was so sad.
ReplyDeleteI really like this story, and it was great to finally get an update for it again. I await the next chapter, keep up the good work!
@Pikari
ReplyDeleteThis chapter was a deviation, yes. The idea just popped into my mind and I decided to roll with it.
I was a bit worried that this one would be too dark, haha. I do intend some happier things for future chapters, yes.
Eh, I wasn't impressed with chapter 4. *Spoilers Ahead*
ReplyDeleteI'm reading this story because of Sweetie Bell and Trixie. Next, Applejack is introduced and I thought those interactions were done pretty well. Rarity then drops in with a really jarring back-story that, if it was kept as the only subplot, would have been interesting to see fleshed out.
Now we have Trixie and Twilight, Trixie and Summer, Trixie and her dad (plus mom?) and Trxie's dad and some sort of console that wronged him? I don't care about any of them! If you dragged Summer out into a field and executed her I wouldn't flitch because I just met her. The same thing isn't true for, say, Fluttershy because we already know and like her but this doesn't extend to ponies you've just created!
I don't think Trixie's back-story is even needed and it took reading this to realize that in most other Trixie redemption stories I've read how she became who she is and what's she's been up to since her return to ponyville is only given a few paragraphs or pages. You don't really need to know the specifics, just a quick mention that things were bad. What's more the entire thing happens in a flashback sequence via a dream. No one else knows anything about this and I feel having Trixie call out "dad" afterwards and having Sweetie Bell react like she knows everything is a pretty cheap trick. Having Trixie retell the story to Sweetie Bell (or anyone else) would be boring which makes me wonder why you didn't have her tell the story to her in the first place.
Anyway, if this story was mediocre to begin with I wouldn't have bothered writing any of this but I feel if these extra plots keep popping up they could choke out an entertaining story with a unique pairing.
@Chemistryaway119
ReplyDeleteMy idea for Trixie's dad has been shown since Chapter 2. In retrospect I also agree, Summer Sky is probably the weakest part of that chapter and could probably be cut without too much impact on the story.
In a sense yes, you could skip this chapter entirely. I've not said anything that wasn't alluded to in a previous chapter to some greater or lesser extent. As I did label it (unlike any of the previous three chapters) this is an interlude. On the other hand, I felt that to say 'Your father is dead' is very different than actually experiencing it. The purpose of this chapter to me was to show those events that would characterize aspects of Trixie's past rather than just list them and leave the reader wondering. It is easy to soften the impact of an event when you don't have to see it.
All in all I do not intend to make these subplots hugely relevant. Applejack relates to Trixie's continued stay in Ponyville, just as much as Rarity relates to the fact that Sweetie Belle can't just drop off the face of the earth with her new friend like nopony else exists. Comet Cloud is Trixie's cripple, because for my story it very much defines who she is, and what happened with Twilight accentuates that.
So from that, I can very easily assert that for probably ~95% of the rest of the fic wont be seeing Twilight again, she's not listed in the characters for good reason. I have no intent to choke out the story by constantly popping up additional plots. These only matter in how they relate to the kind of person Trixie is. You wont see Chopper coming back for revenge anytime soon, or Snips and Snails popping up to cause mischief, for instance.
You will probably find the later chapters more appealing. I haven't forgotten the premise of the story as it started. I am an amateur author without much creative writing experience, so I apologize if I'm presenting it badly or in a flawed way.
Thank you for your criticism, I hope some of the reasoning I have given shows why I chose to write the chapter how I did, and I hope that it reassures you on my future chapters.
And one last thing, this is not a Trixie redemption story. :p
Woah, that was... deep... intense... not really sure how to describe it. I've read fics about how sad, lonely and destitute post-Ponyville Trixie is, but this blows them all away. I'd say mainly tears were cried, but I think you quite literally broke my ability to. This story was so heart wrenchingly depressing that it physically hurt, like my insides were being torn apart. I actually had to take a break after reading the part were Trixie speaks with a vision of her father because I lacked the strength to continue.
ReplyDeleteBefore this chapter I personally rated this a 4-star story, bordering on 3-star. I read it eagerly enough, but it sparked no passion in me. With this chapter, however, you might have just jumped up to a full 5-star. Bravo good sir and keep up the good work.
It's strange that I keep recommending your fic, but somehow haven't written a single comment yet. I could swear I reviewed it before... Well, time to fix it.
ReplyDeleteThis chapter was harsh. I understand that any plausible backstory for Trixie cannot be flowers and rainbows. But as you said, to understand and to experience it are two different things. I've go to stop reading a couple of times because it was too much to bear.
"this is not a Trixie redemption story"
I like this idea very much. We all have different truths in life and the truth of some like Twilight who has a loving mentor, trusted friends, brother/assistant and respect from general population is very different from truth of lonely and harshly treated Trixie.
That's exactly why I find all fics following standard [instant forgiveness/all deeds forgotten/friends forever] scheme to be very lacking. And it's also the reason why Ponyville scene was the saddest part of this chapter for me. It starts as any other cliched story, and I couldn't help but hoped for peaceful resolution despite the knowledge from previous chapters. But then the worst qualities of both mares (impersonal academism vs intolerance to intrusions in private feelings and thoughts) play against each other and the situation devolves into conflict. Damn, it's even more sad than Trixie speaking to the vision of her dad. ;_;
Anyway, you did great work on this chapter! Just keep telling your own story and don't worry about its canonicity. I'm interested see what kind of ending you have planned, even if it's not going to be very happy.
PS: you used the word 'arms' three times in this chapter (and once in chapter 2).
@Shantara
ReplyDelete""PS: you used the word 'arms' three times in this chapter (and once in chapter 2).""
Personally that kind of phrasing bugs me too, but according to the handy dandy pony chart the forelimbs can be accurately referred to as arms.
Thank you for finally writing an update (and what a great one!). I had lost all hope that there would be a new chapter ever – please do that never again ;/
ReplyDeleteUgh. I couldn't even finish reading that tripe. The first three chapters are nice even if a bit dramatic....then chapter 4 hits and suddenly we're in "Trixie goes through hell because of CONFLICT DRAMAZ!!!@$!@$".
ReplyDeleteNo. Seriously, I really enjoyed this fic before and now I feel like crap having read the first half of that chapter. Yes there's a sad tag, true, but it all came so out of left field that I have to wonder if it was even the right story.
@Melodia
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that you didn't find it to your liking, but I would firmly assert that what I wrote was 'tripe' or was written purely for the sake of adding otherwise non-sensical or pointless drama.
As I have said previously, to state an event occurred and to describe it carry very different weights. I felt that in an attempt to add more character to Trixie, it would be worthwhile to show just how bad her past has been.
If anything you can probably consider this an emotional low point in the story, or you can skip the chapter if you wish! It is an interlude (as the chapter title says), so you can probably go through the rest of the story without reading this chapter and not be lost on what is happening.
Thank you for your comment.
@Lounge_Lizard
ReplyDelete*was not tripe, rather
Can we hope for an update soon? :-)
ReplyDelete@Federhengst
ReplyDeleteI dunno about soon, but I'm working on it. Video games / school / art came between the last update and now (as well as ideas and writing for another unpublished fic) and so I'm back to writing this again.
@Lounge_Lizard
ReplyDelete"I dunno about soon, but I'm working on it."
That's all I wanted to hear :-).
An update — Yeah!!!!
ReplyDelete