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Author: GenericNoun
Description: The Great and Powerful Trixie used to be just a tiny filly, but it doesn't mean her ego was small too. Overly confident in her magical abilities even at young age, Trixie goes to take the entrance exam at Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. She should be a shoo-in right?The Great and Powerful Filly
Additional Tags: Origin, Cute, Trixie, Magic, Celestia
35 kommentaari:
The daww is strong in this picture...
VastaKustutaI can haz first?
VastaKustutaDawww. An origin story for Trixie?! Never seen such a thing, will read!
VastaKustutaToo late :(
VastaKustutaThis setup sounds crazy familiar. Was this story in a WTG in the past?
VastaKustutahivemind, you can fucking not.
VastaKustutasorry everypony. i'm in a terrible mood.
uh
VastaKustutaquestion
where is the story?
Filly Trixie is adorable + Origin story = awesome.
VastaKustutaWARNING! Cuteness overload! Dawww levels at critical mass! System failure imminent!
VastaKustutaWackyteen's right, tis blank. xD
VastaKustutaoh gawd, cuteness overload approaching from this fic :D
VastaKustuta@wackyteen This.
VastaKustutaAlso, care to say why?
...it's gone.
VastaKustutaWhich is a shame, because the story is every bit as cute as the picture. Hopefully this is just a link error.
It's right here.
VastaKustutaAnd now I'm almost certain I've read this before...
Hm.
Derped link the following works: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/2003/1/The-Great-and-Powerful-Filly/The-Exam
VastaKustutawhere mah story? I want to reads it!
VastaKustutaWell I haven't had my daily dose of daw today so I might as well start with this.
VastaKustutaHm! Interested Josh. I shall get to this tomorrow.
VastaKustutaSeth will be happy im sure.
VastaKustutaNot sure if want though.
ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!!!
VastaKustutaYAY FOR NEW BANNER!!!
Oh man, i read this on FIMFiction a while ago! I was wondering when it would get here!
VastaKustutaSo did this happen before or after Twilight got in?
VastaKustutaJust wondering.
Ton of errors but the story itself is awesome.
VastaKustuta@DPV111
VastaKustutaThat slacker! He told me he fixed over 100 errors!
FREE TRIXIE RIDE NO MORE
EVEN IF SHE IS CUTE
@Sethisto
VastaKustutaWell I counted less than 10, so that's like 9 10s less than a hundred.
What is the attraction with Trixie? I just don't get it.
VastaKustutaGenericNoun here. I'll gladly fix the "less than 10" errors if someone PMs them to me on my Fimfiction account. I worked hard and had this thing proofread by multiple people, to have it pulled because I got some horse terminology wrong is kinda annoying.
VastaKustutaThere's a missing " somewhere if that helps. I liked the story, I could really imagine this being canon. It seemed a bit short to me because I'm interested on how you would tell Trixie's story of being the arrogant and boastful foal she was.
VastaKustuta@Sethisto
VastaKustutaI've re-read this yet again. The mistakes I corrected were EXTREMELY minor. Also, is there a way to fix the link at the top to the new one?
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/2003/The-Great-and-Powerful-Filly
@GenericNoun
VastaKustutaYour pride rivals that of the blue unicorn herself.
"As she approached the exam room door, she lite her horn"
Lit her horn.
"As she finished her introduction a long twisting beam of light that looked like a golden serpent shoot out of her horn and slithered past the heads of the elder unicorns. So close and bright was her illusion that any normal pony would have stopped to look in awe, however the unicorns didn’t not give Trixie’s magic even a second glance as it soared to the other side of the room and vanished in a thin puff of smoke."
"A golden serpent shoot out?" "The unicorns didn't not give?" Such amateurish mistakes. And the flow of the paragraph is all wrong. Try this instead:
She ended her introduction by shooting a long, twisting beam of light, which took the form of a golden serpent. It slithered through the air, passing through the gaze of each proctor. Most ponies would be captivated by such a flashy and bold illusion. The elder unicorns, however, showed little interest as the snake swam to the far end of the room and vanished in a puff of smoke.
Need I go on, or do you get the message?
Autor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.
VastaKustuta@GenericNoun
VastaKustutaThank you, this is what no one was doing for me. I didn't realize Lit her horn was a fragment I derped with that double negative there. I like the word proctor, I'll use that instead of examiner to avoid repetition. This particular paragraph wasn't my best but please go on, when compared to the other stories that get posted everyone seems to be on me for grammar. I want to get this edited right.
@GenericNoun
VastaKustutaWell now I just feel bad for going off on you like that.
Protip: Provide a link to a Google Docs version with comments enabled. Individual issues can be pinpointed out.
VastaKustuta@DPV111
VastaKustutahttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1sv4Yx4dWMIJ3QbHcIXQZg5sBC0EV1i8V29trNxIj3v0/edit?pli=1 I can't be certain whether the comments are enabled are not.