[Sci-Fi] [HIE] [Sad] [Comedy]
Author: Shalrath
Description: A visitor arrives in Equestria, bearing a wealth of knowledge and a troubled past. The Mane 6 are quick to befriend the stranger, who helps them to discover what they truly value in life, and how to achieve it.The End (New 15!)
But learning to achieve their desires comes at a steep price, paid by their innocence.
Additional Tags: Serious but funny, depressing but hopeful. Long.
62 comments:
HIE?
ReplyDeleteLooks like a good one.
ReplyDeleteoh, wait, derp.
ReplyDeleteA sad, dark comedy. whut...
ReplyDeleteHIE? Sad, dark, and comedy?
ReplyDeleteWhat is this I don't even...
HIE? Humans in Equestria maybe? I think?
ReplyDeleteSO MANY TAGS
ReplyDeletesounds nifty keen
ReplyDelete...
ReplyDeleteWhat?
Just slap a [Shipping] and [Normal] tag on there and you'll be all set.
I'm reading this story SOLELY for the collection of tags it has
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to think about the tags on EqD any more. There's a story out there tagged [Light-Grimdark] that features the sole survivor of the pony species travelling the wasteland of Equestria after everypony else in the world died horribly in an apocalypse. That's "light." Another doesn't have any sort of grim tag and the first chapter featured ponies being enslaved, tortured, and murdered by humans (granted the author eased off on the grimness afterward and overall it's well written enough to be worth it, but that still happened).
ReplyDeleteSo I figure a story with the title "The End" and [Sad] and [Grim] tags is probably suicide-inducing, despite the incongruous [Comedy] tacked on.
@Bryan"Another doesn't have any sort of grim tag and the first chapter featured ponies being enslaved, tortured, and murdered by humans (granted the author eased off on the grimness afterward and overall it's well written enough to be worth it, but that still happened)."
ReplyDeleteDid I just read that? Enslaved, murdered, tortured? Is that fundamentally even supposed to be called Fan-fic?
This looks interesting though. I'll give it a try.
Dose Tags...
ReplyDeleteI was avoiding it cause of the long tag, but 17k words is short...
ReplyDelete@Bryan
ReplyDeleteAuthor of that second fic here. Well to be explain myself a bit, I didn't care to give myself a Dark or Grimdark tag since my overall idea for the story wasn't anyway near that dark, but I wanted to put something that dark in the first chapter, just to illustrate my point a bit. Thanks for the praise though.
To this fic's author: Certainly looks interesting. I'll be keeping an eye on this as it goes on.
Ok lets see here. Dark, Sad, HIE? Comedy?
ReplyDeleteWat?
didnt i read this on FIMfiction?
ReplyDeleteI imagine this is the Portal style of dark comedy. I'll give it a read.
ReplyDelete@Bryan
ReplyDeleteThe tags don't have the ability to convey either the severity nor the nature of the tagged content. A lot of stories with non explicit violence prefer not to use the grimdark tag due to that primarily being associated with gory violence and death, explicit torture and rape).
It also doesn't help that a relatively tame story can suddenly turn really grim or dark later on, alienating the current fans.
Really the only way around this would be more content related specific disclaimers from the author about exactly what type of grim-darkyness is in or planned to be in the story.
@MuffinShy
ReplyDeleteThe story he is referring to is "The Son of the Emperor". The scene involves a sick OC earth pony being "put down" by a black market pony slave trader. It's unpleasant but not gory and so far that is the only violence in the story.
If you can make it past that it's actually an amazingly well written story.
The story itself isn't meant to be grimdark, gory, or shocking in any manner. But that's not to say it can't be emotionally depressing.
ReplyDeleteHowever, that comes a bit later. At the moment, I've just finished with Act 1, and we have a lot more material waiting in the wings.
I'm just gettin warmed up!
Oy, and now I'm talking in the third person here.
ReplyDeleteAnyways - does anyone enjoy it?
@Bryan
ReplyDeleteAnd Growing Pains, which is just gritty more than anything else, is tagged as Grimdark.
@NoMoreSanity
ReplyDeleteIt did work out, IMO, and I've recommended the story to other grimness-averse friends as well. It just caught me a bit by surprise when I encountered the scene and thus it stuck in my memory as an example to use when the subject of tagging comes up like this. :)
I didn't mention story names because I didn't want to be seen as taking a position on those specific stories, just on the subject of tagging in general.
@DPV111
ReplyDeleteI echo the recommendation, BTW, just in case anyone thought my use of it as an example was meant to be a disrecommendation. :)
Serious but funny? Depressing but hopeful? What ever happened to "Secret but fun"?
ReplyDeleteAnyhow I still don't know what HIE is, though it might be Human in Equestria, so i'm still reading this, the collection of tags warrants my attention.
@Shalrath
ReplyDeletePerhaps this will be another example of a story where I've been mislead by the tags, in that case. I'm quite willing to ignore tags and rely on comments for recommendations instead these days.
I actually like this story quite a bit. I find that it can seem a little scattered at times. I'd recommend focusing a little more atmosphere and narrative descriptive detail into some scenes and trim the fat on others a little, but it's not bad as it is. Should probably have the Random tag though.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete...This had better be an "every new beginning comes after some other beginning's end" type of story.
ReplyDeleteCOMMENCE WITH THE OPERATION
Serious but funny? Depressing but hopeful?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but I don't think I can read a story with tags like those. It's like when the customer starts telling the designer that they want something "light but dark" and "modern but old-fashioned." It never ends well.
"Father?"
ReplyDelete"Yes son?"
"I'm going to kill you."
A promotion from a "Sword-Wielding Magical Aquatic Apparition" is valid? Does that mean that he gets to be emperor if some watery tart lobs a scimitar at him?
ReplyDeleteMore seriously, I won't say that this is a bad story. I will say that I had a lot of trouble following it, however. And chapter 4 was damned dirty.
I will admit that it does jump around a bit, particularly going back and forth between Canterlot and Sugarcube Corner a half dozen times in not-necessarily chronological order. Although I felt that helped break up the two scenes without turning each into a giant ham-fisted wall of text - and revealing certain details out of sequence adds to the humor, at the slight expense of making it a little difficult to follow.
ReplyDeleteLaurie isn't really an OC self insert or anything, although I would be lying if I said I didn't have a few things in common. I think he's a pretty solid supporting character, and a wellspring of comic relief. He and Pinkie make a nice duo as the Prince of Profanity and the Queen of Caffeine.
Also, despite the reams of innuendo and subtle sauciness in CH4, that's mostly there just for the comedy value, rather than turning this into a clopfest. The rest of the story is going to be a bit more in line with the original description, now that I've finished the whole introduction of the Interloper.
First up.. "A Beautiful Derp".
Hope everyone enjoys it.
@Dusty the Royal Janitor Well, serious and funny are pretty much mutually exclusive, but depressing and hopeful aren't...
ReplyDelete@everyone thinking about the comedy tag
ReplyDeleteThat doesn't necessarily mean all at once. Most of the fic could be sad and dark, but then it could end off with a joke, or start off with one.
Story is incredibly confusing....
ReplyDeletewell it is for me after being awake for 20 hours after 4 hours sleep....
Past all this wierd discussion on the tags, this story is nicely written and shows promise. I'm definitely keeping it on my fictions to follow list. Good job :)
ReplyDelete@Avi
ReplyDeleteThanks :)
I'm not very far into this, but so far I've discerned that it's going to give me horrific nightmares.
ReplyDeleteGood job. :D
Serious and depressing... but, funny and hopeful ?
ReplyDelete...I'm not sure ? Which way will this go ?
Also, I see 'Derpy' in the tag ? I hope nothing bad happens to her, OR Dinky...
What Princess Celestia was dreaming...
ReplyDeleteI want to know, but at the same time I don't.
Derpy's role will be interesting.
ReplyDelete@Shalrath
ReplyDeleteI'm really torn over this story, I like the writing and the concept but the characterization is almost painful at times and you're giving ponies human names. That is really, really glaring to read.
The feeling of the story changes are pretty jarring as well, from fairly serious to almost inanely silly at times and it's like hitting a brick wall.
I really like the concept enough that I'll be following but you are in dire need of a skilled editor. 3/5
Like many said, it can sometime be confusing, but I realy like the concept and the writing. Good job :)
ReplyDeleteIt's coming along. Almost have CH 8 written, and it's pretty derp-tastic.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comments. They keep me going on this.
It actually took me a while to pick out "Lancaster" as a name. I got it from a list of racing horses.
ReplyDeleteNot so much for Dornier, but I figured that a British / German bomber motif kind of matched the differences between their characters.
I just really couldn't bring myself to name them "DarkBlaze McShadowstrike" or something of that nature.
Also, I've read a lot of Terry Pratchett, Larry Niven, Robert Heinlein, and Douglas Adams. It kind of leaks through sometimes, which might explain the schizophrenic writing style.
My God, this fic is quite impressive. I usually don't go for HIE fics but this one...its just amazing.
ReplyDeleteGreat Fic, hope to see some more
ReplyDeleteFUN STUFF COMMENCING!
ReplyDeleteThis story is amusing. I'm not sure what else to say. It seems that any time we might be getting to plot (hurr hurr), it veers off course into humor. As it stands, 4/5. Add a random tag, and I'll say it's 5/5, but as it is, it doesn't really represent everything that's listed.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis story seems to be just warming up, and I love the direction that it's going in. An amazing read, the best sci- fi on the site by far, keep writing!
ReplyDeleteI like this a LOT!
ReplyDeleteYou've written a human/pony interaction quite well. I'm enjoying it so far, especially the sharing of knowledge. But there's a lot that Trent *isn't* saying, and the intrigue is killing me! Please write more! Thanks :-)
ReplyDeleteThere's quite a lot that none of the ponies are saying too. Writing some of the dialogue felt like a poker game.
ReplyDeleteFluttershy is frighteningly good at deducing things...and Celestia's making everything feel on edge. Can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteInteresting little peek at something that takes place later (or before, depending on your frame of reference)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.fimfiction.net/blog/30015
Was the last chapter pretty good, btw?
Is there a chance for an update?
ReplyDelete@Federhengst
ReplyDeleteJust posted Ch 15
“It’s strange, really. You grow up with the stars over your head. All your life, staring up in awe and fear and envy. And then one day, you look down to find the stars at your feet. And here you are, standing upon the shoulders of giants, crawling from the teeming cradle of your world into the empty throne of the cosmos.”
ReplyDelete