• Story: 6 Angry Mares (Update Complete!)


    [Crossover] Yep, that's a 12 Angry Men crossover!  It's supposed to be really good though!

    Author: Jelly
    Description: Six complete strangers find themselves locked in a jury room. Their job is to deliberate over one of the most heinous crimes ever committed in Ponyville. And their votes will determine whether a lonely zebra will be able to keep her liberty, or be banished from Equestria -- forever.
    6 Angry Mares Act I
    6 Angry Mares Act II
    6 Angry Mares Act III (New!)

    Additional Tags: Jury; trial; curse; banishment; prejudice

    57 comments:

    1. Hmm, good timing, I just watched two movies about juries.

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    2. Holy crap and I was just thinking of writing a literature crossover.
      Also First

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    3. This perplexes and intrigues me. Going in the "To Read" file for later today.

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    4. Wow. Adapting this classic to ponies... hope folks that read it bother to find and watch the original.

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    5. Democracy? In my Equestria?

      It's not as likely as you'd think.

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    6. 12 Angry Men?

      cool!

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    7. Interesting start. Looking forward to the rest =)

      In the meantime, I need to dig up my copy of the original and watch it again, it's been a while.

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    8. @Rekiara:

      The very fact you own a copy of the original earns my respect.

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    9. Wow... this is surprisingly well-written! I'm very anxious to see how this story progresses! Good start, Jelly!

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    10. No. Fucking. Way.
      Reading that right now.

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    11. woah that was pretty good! Seth did not lie!

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    12. It's heartening to see how many people here have already seen and love the movie. This is just the second MLP fanfic crossover that I've ever been interested in; gotta read it later when I have time...

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    13. This is one of my favorite movies.
      I'll give it a read.

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    14. Hey, this is a pretty good day for fic on the board. Of course, I'm kind of actively procrastinating, but still... 3 for 3 on new stories today.

      Good stuff... looking forward to the continuation.

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    15. 12 Angry Men? Ponies?

      One of my all-time favorite movies turned into ponies. One thing that made 12 Angry Men was the diversity in characters. I sure hope the ponies stay in character for this one.

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    16. So if they're complete strangers... is that a spell or is this an alternate reality?

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    17. idk, I suppose it's just me but knowing who the six are and calling them by their code names seems silly. I understand it's an adaptation, that's fine. But half the time I was mixing everypony up with their code names.

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    18. 12 Angry Men was a fantastic movie, I might have to sit down and read this.

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    19. Aw, I wanted to make a crossover with 12 Angry Men :(
      It was a great movie.

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    20. One of my favorite plays crossed over with one of my favorite shows? And then the result being as intriguing as the original?

      You've earned all my stars, for sure.

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    21. This is simply brilliant!
      And the "maybe it will get published on EqD" line made me chuckle. Not a mean feat with me, I rarely show emotion ;)

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    22. Interesting. I'll put this one on my list of fics to read.

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    23. It's SO good! :) I can't wait for more.

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    24. Wow. Pinkie Pie's "Evil Enchantress" takes on a much more disgusting tone in this story. Well done.

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    25. I love how Fluttershy is presented here. You perfectly capture the "Silk Hiding Steel" nature of her personality. And I'm very happy that, in the last part of Chapter 2, you didn't resort to using Flutterrage, instead making her quiet, but firm in her resolution. I hope you continue with that characterization.

      Keep up the great work.

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    26. Pinkie Pie, you god-damn racist you. I'm half expecting her say the N-word.

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    27. I kind of have to read to this since 12 Angry Men is one of my top ten favorite movies.
      Now if only we can get a crossover with my favorite film (The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly)

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    28. I had my doubts about this story when it landed in my pre-reader inbox. The same standards we apply to most fanfiction submitted here could not apply here -- the story hinges entirely on dialogue and characterization. In order to succeed, the author had to nail each. Juror's. Personality. Exactly.

      I called for its posting, though I regret not calling for its posting more enthusiastically. Part 1 left me on the floor. Had I had Part 2 then, it would've knocked me down from my second-story apartment into the basement.

      It is my belief the author has succeeded. Barring a couple of mechanical slip-ups, this story is a pristine example of the best this diverse fandom has to offer.

      6 Angry Mares. 6 stars. I wish to see this done.

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    29. CouchCrusader: this is an awesome story that I want to see finished. I'm glad you recommended it. Given the constraints (and perhaps without) this is about the best story I've seen in this fandom.

      Less senseless shipping. Less stupid sad. Less grimdark. More THIS.

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    30. I watched 12 angry men. I hope this is as awesome as it sounds :)

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    31. ARGH I was just about to do this as a PMV. Oh well.

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    32. I love the original '12 Angry Men'! One of my favorites as well!

      And I'm really impressed with what you got going here. It's very well written and a nice little idea of what these ponies would act like in this situation had they never met each other.
      My only complaint would be that Pinkie Pie seemed a little out of character. I mean, I know that she was the one who brought up the idea of Zecora being evil in the show, but that was out of fear of the unknown, not flat out anger. Having her lean slightly towards Pinkamena helped out a lot, though. Also, the argument could be made that the characters in the show became more tolerant and understanding of others because of their experiences and adventures together, and that if none of that had happened, even Pinkie Pie might be a mean-spirited jerk.

      Also, I feel it follows the story of the original verrry closely. That's not exactly a bad thing, as I LOVE the original, but the best crossovers are the ones where it really feels like the two universes have collided (Doctor Whooves in Mines of Dragon Mountain; Stargate Equestria, for examples), not where it just feels like characters in the original have been swapped for the ponies. Even so, the story is just different enough and the characters different enough that I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and can't wait for the next parts.
      (Unfortunately, I'll have to refrain from rating it until it is finished. Just a personal policy of mine :P )

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    33. I just watched this, very well written

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    34. This is really well done, but I'm sad they aren't friends like they should be.
      I'm hoping they are under some kind of "Jury Duty" spell to make them not know each other which will be undone after their service ends.

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    35. That's an interesting theory. Actually I can see that making sense -- having all the jurors be good friends wouldn't be too effective. And a few points in their dialog point to them living as they are shown to in the show, which means that they should know each other at least casually except for possibly Twilight.
      Though there's certainly implications they are a bit older too -- Scootaloo has her cutie mark, RD is a Wonderbolt.

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    36. @Melodia

      Well AJ states the events of Applebuck Season occurred "a few years ago" so I would say this is taking place 3-5 years after the point where the series started.

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    37. Flutte- I mean, Juror #6 is awesome.

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    38. Good story. Well writen and portrayed.
      Felt the last bit was a little rushed.
      2s change of heart was hard for people not heavily into the fandom side of things to understand.
      Also the Poison Joke reference was too obvious right from the start.
      The other problem I have is that you would think Zecora would have cured herself before returning to Roseluck's.
      At least pinkie was as OOC as in Bridle Gossip.

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    39. Having finished the story, I must say I enjoyed it a lot.

      I liked the way you managed to make the characters mostly believable as both their FiM personalities and the obvious juror references from the original film. It did, at times, feel more like it was "The movie, but they're ponies now", because the characters followed a little bit too closely to the 12 Angry Men scripting. That's a hard thing to avoid with a setting like this (and the movie is so great that it's not really a bad thing anyway!), so there's not a lot of ways to get around it. Wherever possible, though, the best crossovers tell *new* stories using the style of one universe and the setting of another.

      All told, I was quite pleased when I saw this story the first time, and remain pleased with the way you finished it. Also, many, many thanks to you for inspiring me to rewatch the original film.

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    40. Juror #6 is best juror.

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    41. 6 Angry Mares is second best crossover.

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    42. Kinda a let down that there's no explanation as to what was going on. I guess it was supposed to just be a full on fusion (NOT CROSSOVER DAMMIT, FUSION) to keep with the story.

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    43. Will we get an epilogue?
      Not that it is needed, just that i love your writing.

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    44. This is awesome... I suppose the only weakness is my own, in that I've loved the original for so long that anytime Juror #2 was speaking/ranting (Counterpart to #3 in the original) all I could hear was Lee Cobb, not RD. But, that being my mishigas, and not the author's problem, this is one of the finest fusions/crossovers/whatevers that I have ever read.

      6/5!

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    45. Howdy, all! I've tried to avoid commenting here, but I think it's relatively safe (or at least safer) now. And I know some people don't like reading the "author's intentions," so if that's the case feel free to just skip this. :P

      1.) First and foremost, I suppose this really is more of a "fusion" than a crossover; I'm afraid I was unaware of that term when I first submitted this story! My apologies.

      As I suspect is the case with many ponies here, 12 Angry Men is one of my all-time favorite movies, and while rewatching it lately I couldn't help but wonder what it would look like if I were told to adapt the story to Ponyville. And hence, this story!

      On that front, I think my high rating here is somewhat undeserved -- the credit should go almost wholly to Reginald Rose, the FANTASTIC author of the teleplay. I tried to stay relatively true to the biggest scenes and themes (especially in Act III), despite feeling that I had to stretch the pony personalities a bit to fit.

      In writing, I used a fair deal of dialogue verbatim (or almost verbatim) from the teleplay script, the teleplay from 1954, and the 1957 movie. So chances are if there was something said that seemed a bit "off" in the story, I was borrowing it from the originals.

      2.) Writing Pinkie Pie as a bigot and Rainbow Dash as the excitable bully was a hard line to walk, and caused me continually rewrite portions of Act III. I'm personally not convinced I pulled it off, either -- at times I feel they both lost their pony "voice" in their biggest scenes. Perhaps I should waited longer before submitting the final Act! Who knows.

      I will say that in writing the Pinkie Pie scenes, though, I am still amazed at some of the language Pinkie Pie actually uses in the Bridle Gossip episode. Although it is easy to dismiss it as silly while watching Pinkie and her antics, if you take her words at face-value it is actually more than a little disturbing. Most of her "rant" in Act III is completely based on her dialogue from Bridle Gossip.

      3.) Even for 12 Angry Men fans, I hope the various topics of debate where refreshing -- although many of the doubts brought forth are similar to those brought out in 12 Angry Men, I still think most of them are fairly unique to this story.

      In addition, since it was brought up: the reference to Poison Joke was not intended to be a "secret"; the story was created specifically so that pony fans would hopefully jump to that conclusion immediately. (After all, Zecora + Curse quite obviously leads to that conclusion for anypony who has seen the Bridle Gossip episode).

      But the critical point here is that while a potential "solution" (Poison Joke) may be obvious to readers, the actual jurors are clearly quite unaware that the possibility even exists. At least in theory, this should have added some sort of underlying tension to the story than was not present in 12 Angry Men.

      4.) Also since it was brought up, I have not planned for an epilogue, and so it is unlikely I will ever write one for this story. Part of the appeal of 12 Angry Men is that you are never told what actually happened, or even what happens to anybody afterwards. I am perfectly content to leave both of those subjects unanswered.

      ~

      Anyways, thanks for the feedback, all! *huggles*

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    46. The ending literally made me cry. Extremely well written, certainly one of my favorite MLP-FiM fanfics I've ever read.

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    47. What can I say.
      I am not an expert for fanfiction, but for a short story this is actually pretty good.

      I could go on, but I don´t reckon someone is interested in my personal experiences with writing.

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    48. After having read all the comments, I just want to add some.
      I never actually saw 12 angry men, only adaptions of it.(It´s harder to come by than other perfectly good movies(IMDB top 20))

      I actually feel that Pinkies character isn´t that far from home. She is fun to have around, but kinda shallow. Prejudging(Bridle Gossip) and unstable(Party of one). In Canon, she has a character, but no real personality.

      Now Rainbow, it actually surprised me when it was her to get angryand jump on the table.

      Except for RD the characterisations are spot on.

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    49. I remember seeing this film in my speech class.
      Reading this version here really does a good job at making it feel like the situation.
      Good show, good show.

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    50. Huh, I've never known anything about 12 angry men, so I'm glad to have read this.
      All the complaints I've read in comments can be answered with creative license.

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    51. Hahahaa I was a big fan of 12 angry men and this was an absolutely brilliant ponification of that drama. The only problem I found was that the case for acquittal was a bit disappointing. Part of what made 12 angry men great was the intellectual aspect in which the authority of the evidence was brought into question through sharp scrutiny. This story seemed to take a by and simply say adequate evidence was not presented to even make a case. Still I loved the writing style, skillful integration of memes, the characters were great, and you did an outstanding job capturing the conflict and drama represented in the original story 5 out of 5

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    52. Nice adaption, I love the movie too. Funny that I just watched it again recently not two days ago.

      By the way. In Act three when #2 was ranting, there's a slight typo. You put that Juror #2 picked up Juror #1's 'hefty stack of notes' when those were actually Juror #5's notes.

      Nothing big but I thought I'd point it out.

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    53. . . . But why does Twilight live in Ponyville?

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    54. Two things:

      1. Pinkie Pie is pretty OOC here. She's far nastier than she is in the show. However, I've seen 12 Angry Men and understand why you needed to give somepony that character.
      2. I might have missed something, but why did Rainbow Dash's picture of Scootaloo entice her to say not guilty? Did I miss something in the story?

      Awesome job by the way. This was a great read.

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