[Comedy] [Shipping]
Author: Ebon Mane
Description: Twilight's curiosity pushes her to go where no bookworm has gone before: on dates. Dates with lots of unfamiliar (and not so unfamiliar) mares. It goes about as well as you'd expect.U-Harmony (Update Part 10!)
A parody of dating websites in general, named after eHarmony.
Additional Tags: Blind Dates And Questionable Matches
43 comments:
Very nice.
ReplyDeleteI've seen this Twilight dating thing trending recently
ReplyDeleteBecause EHarmony needs to be made fun of!
ReplyDeletebeen keeping my eyes on this via DA. It's ruddy marvellous. Each section is short, sweet and hilarious.
ReplyDeleteJust read it.
Since this is the Equestrian version of e-harmony, I'm assuming they exclude heterosexual matches. Cuz they "don't have enough research" or something.
ReplyDeleteOh man this is deliciously funny.
ReplyDeleteFunny enough. A bit hard on some of the ponies Twilight is paired with (Moondancer, Trixie). I hope you do something with that at the end.
ReplyDeleteWill be looking for future chapters though. Definitely worth continuing reading.
First thought to pass my mind after seeing the title: Cutie Mark Crusader Moving Company.
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I too have seen this "Twilight dating" thing going around. Great minds discuss ideas, eh?
ReplyDeleteI hope that Moondancer travels to Ponyville and hunts Twilight down now. Pony stalking seems so cute somehow.
ReplyDeleteOh God I need more. WHY IS THE LAST CHAPTER NOT DONE YET?!
ReplyDelete@Baree
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately the author says there is but 1 date left so not a ton of updates left to do. If you chose to check out the DA page, a warning to you in the author comments is a hint that makes the next date pretty obvious(and later confirmed in comments) http://ebonmane.deviantart.com/#/d4a069f
I.laughed.my.ass.off.
ReplyDeleteAbout time this made it on here! xD Been tracking this on FIMfiction for a while now. =p
ReplyDeleteHilarious, cute, every chapter is short and sweet. I nearly died laughing in the trixie chapter at twilight's line 'i don't know which end if you is the bigger ass' XD
ReplyDeleteI actually found myself enjoying this very much. Just a bunch of humorous short stories that you could really visualize happening. Looking forward to more
ReplyDeleteLoved the Moondancer chapter, had a slight chuckle at the Vinyl chapter, got seriously teased in the Dewdrop chapter laughed quite hard at the chapter with her meeting her own mother of all people and kind of felt sorry for Trixie too.
ReplyDeleteLove the concept, and love the execution even more. I love that each chapter is relatively short--it keeps things on the up and up and allows the humor to shine through easier.
ReplyDeletePoor Twilight, though. Not in Rarity's league, huh? That's cold.
Ahhhh! So THIS explains the sudden explosion in views!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I get it now.
I had no idea they accepted direct links to FIMFiction! Overwise, I wouldn't have spent all that time converting to Google Docs!
*clicks link*
ReplyDelete*Sees FiM Fiction*
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-
Alright... I'm not a fan of FiM fiction. Most of the things that I've found solely hosted there I've found to be not very good. They also have absolutely no standards as to what they'll put up, and the commenters there seem almost completely unwilling to give any criticism other than "I NEED MOAR." All in all, I kinda hate the website.
Now, my rant about the website over with, I guess if it was good enough to be accepted by Equestria Daily it's worth at least a shot. But really, if this story is any good, please consider hosting it elsewhere because you have no idea how this site might accidentally color someone's perceptions.
*gets to reading*
Geez, this has been up on DA for over a week, why the hell is it only coming up on ED now? And why is it on FIMFiction?
ReplyDeleteAlso, Dusty, just go to EbonMane's DA page, all the chapters are there.
@iastfan112
ReplyDeleteYeah... I doubt I have to look. Looking back at who she has already encountered I have a fairly strong suspicion about who's up next.
Eh, I know its humor, but I just couldn't get into Rarity being such a /bitch/. Particularly with poor Twi. Chapter two takes an equally unpleasant note with Lyra cheating on Bon-Bon. Three is weird as hell, and not in the pleasant sense. Four however made it worth it, it gave me a genuine chuckle, it was the kind of silly I expected when I went into this. Five redeems Rarity for chapter one, and is kinda cute. Six, oh sweet Celestia I LOVED six; it's crazy, its silly, its believable, and more romcoms need to venture into the world of zaniness and flippant hedonism; and Twi's openness to all of it makes it. Seven just made me grin. Eight... not sure, just... I love Twixe and this makes me sad.
ReplyDeleteOverall though I have to give it four stars, when you hit the right notes you it goes perfectly, but sometimes I feel it just falls flat.
Bronies train of thought summed up in three easy steps:
ReplyDelete1: One character (on a kid's show, mind you,) has rainbow-colored hair.
2: ???
3: ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE HOMOSEXUAL!!!1!!!one!!!
Honestly, I'm a bit sick of it...
Well, as my previous comment no doubt hinted, I was really skeptical at first. And throughout the whole first chapter I really was considering just stopping outright. Twilight seemed way too sarcastic and even a little rude at times and Rarity was just so... pushy... and not in a way that I really felt fit her character.
ReplyDeleteBut when we actually got to the dating part things really picked up. I particularly liked the chapters with Dewdrop, Vinyl, and Trixie... but Rarity's chapter kinda threw me. I guess I can maybe see Rarity as Bisexual, but it's a little difficult. She really seems to me to be a much more "classical" kind of girl. Personally I don't think she'd be intolerant of lesbianism, but part of me just feels like she wouldn't swing both ways. Still, I guess at the moment that's just a personal preference.
What I was more weirded out by was the chapter with her mom. Not so much by the encounter itself, but more with the aftermath. The encounter itself was funny as all hell, but the whole thing with her father... I dunno, If I found that my wife was cheating on me with other women? Even the temporary humiliation of her accidentally dating my daughter wouldn't be enough for me to be laughing uproariously. I'd probably be upset all in all. It just seemed out of character for, well, any thinking being really...
Overall, cute story. Got a few decent chuckles out of me. Nothing really spectacular though. I'd give it a 4/5.
Grr I hate that site. It doesn't have a mobile version. And I really wanted to read this too.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Dusty the Royal Janitor
ReplyDeleteYou're missing the point entirely. The site is a place for pony fiction, like say, PFA. You write pony fiction? Here's a place to host it with other people who write it. Get it? The site isn't about setting standards and striking off bad fics; the users can do that. It's not Equestria Daily, it's an archive site. Lighten up. And don't complain about the users of the site like it's the site's fault. From what I've seen, plenty of people who comment here on EqD act the same exact way, even with anon replying disabled.
@Timber
Sorry about that! Knighty is still working on the mobile version with the new layout. I'm sure he'll get it done soon. :)
As for this story that we should be commenting on, it's Ebon Mane. He's my favorite writer. I don't need to say much more than that. It's genius.
These stories are just fantastic. 1st class comedy, completely worth the read!
ReplyDelete@Dusty the Royal Janitor
ReplyDelete'Cause no one ever sends the wife out to pick up a third party to spice up their sex life after 20 odd years of marriage.
Ok, outside of poor Lyra (she'd never cheat even if she were actually married to Bon-Bon which she's totally not), I love this fic. That would actually be kinda cool though, to have a dating service like that which actually sets you up on blind dates.
ReplyDelete@Dusty the Royal Janitor
Considering the letter, the way I read it is that Twilight's parents are swingers and/or had an open relationship and that there was no cheating involved. Not something parents tend to actually tell their kids.
Personally, it seemed to me that Twilight's mom was using the site, on a DARE. Which would make Crescent Sparkle's cracking up at the whole situation that much more sense. XD
ReplyDeleteThat said, I loved it the instant I saw it on FIMfiction. Been loyally following it ever since. The newest chap with Vinyl was probably one of the best so far. ^^
@bronydash
ReplyDeleteI'll admit the rampant lesbian angle is a bit aggravating, but then something like 90% of the characters we've seen on the in both foreground and back have been female.
That said this comic handled it well, and was actually pretty funny. I don't know which date was more awkward: Lyra, Trixie, Rarity, or Twilight's Mom!
I do have to say though, the "every one of these ponies is super-horny from the first date" is a little overdone though.
Rarity's a BITCH.
ReplyDeleteI love the chapters with Lyra, Scratch and Twilight's mom. Twilight's date with her mom in particular was just great.
ReplyDelete@Melodia
ReplyDeleteI agree. It's likely that Twilight's parents have an open relationship, so Twilight's mom wasn't cheating. At least not by the standards of their relationship.
Ship Twilight with everypony (providing they're a unicorn)!
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I'd like to see a spinoff with Dewdrop Dazzle and her friends.
ReplyDeleteEducation:
ReplyDelete>It's the Next Big Thing in unicorn society.
-Huh... Why just unicorns ? Even if it started in Canterlot, there's still quite a few pegasi and earth ponies over there.
>U-Harmony is built on a spell that somepony cast such that any unicorn anywhere in Equestria can tap into it.
-It's a ''spell'' ? Huh... then it could be cast on non-unicorn ponies, maybe ?
>Race? Unicorn. I'm not sure why they ask that one
-For future possible application of the spell to other ponies (aka: money bags $)
>Rarity was clearly taking great pleasure in her friend's embarrassment.
-Rarity is kinda-sorta Evil, but kinda funny too, in a way...
Introduction:
>the green unicorn replied with an enigmatic smile
>"Lyra!" The other unicorn replied
-Huh ?! Wait what ? She not ''Green'' ?
She light-blue(turquoise)... ''green'' is quite far from that color, really. : http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Lyra
>'Sexy academic' indeed!
-Yes, indeed. ;)
Reunion:
>Anger flashed across Moondancer's face. She growled, "No maybe, Twilight, we WILL be together," her face softened as she added in a loving whisper, "Forever."
-I wonder if she has 30 portraits of Twilight and a shrine dedicated to her ?
Match:
>No doubt the results will be fascinating. So what'll it be, Twilight...," she raised an eyebrow, "Fight... or fuck?"
>"Check please!"
-This is relatively funny... when before that point it was relatively creepy. ;)
>"But I'll tell you one thing, Spike. I throw a mean right hook."
-Oooowwww... I mean... Fight ? Really ? Wasted opportunity.
Limits:
>Rarity sighed, "So I just will. I'm out of your league. As in way, way out of your league."
-Pretentious, and not just a bit MUCH ? I'm guessing she hit her head and completely forgot who Twilight Sparkle really is ?
Who's is the personal protégé of THE Princess-Goddess of the Sun, can levitate an URSA Minor while doing 4-5 other things simultaneously, and is also one of the legendary Elements of Harmony (like her) ?
... Definitely not the most interesting part ...
Opportunity:
>The purple-coated unicorn just stared at her date for a moment. Then, her face broke into a manic smile as she nearly shouted, "Can we go again!?"
-That's some nice little humor. ;)
Also : ~Yay !~ DJ P0N-3... too bad, here, she can't settle just for 1 mare. It would have been an interesting match (I don't think Twilight is ready for more than 1 mare, yet).
Horror:
>'Never speak of this. Ever. And don't ask; you don't want to know. P.S. Your father says 'hi' and seems to find this hilarious.
-Huh... one of those things where couples like to go out with other couples ? That's 1 of the things I'm guessing.
Nemesis:
>It had become personal. U-Harmony just wanted to break her will, to make her give up, to watch her fail.
>Her eyelid twitched.
-You know... one could be wondering, if it's not 'Discord' who's the mastermind being that service ? That would be only a half-surprising twist.
>Wait! Don't you have any sense of foe-yay?
-Foe-huh what ? Huh... To the Internet (or rather, Google) !
Also, Twilight seems to abandon quite fast, while barely trying during some of those dates ?
-----
... DJ P0N-3 seems to be the best and the most *cough* 'interesting' choice, so far. And, Twilight seems to have good chances with her ...
... At this rate she gonna end up on a date with Celestia ;) ...or maybe Luna ? Mmh, Luna: lonely mare seeking good pony, quiet, love watching the moon and stars and reading. Who knows ? :) ...
@bronydash
ReplyDeleteI think no one actually care, like you do, about what are the sexual preference of those ponies, you know ?
Most are mares... authors trying to do shipping... What do you think will happen, huh ?
You can only do so much with a handful of stallions. And, it's not like mare-mare was a crime OR boring, especially when it's well done.
to all people who dont agree with Hetero-Twilight, Hey why don't you give her a fanfix where she has a date with poison Rainbow (hes not oc, i named him poison rainbow as he is purple pegasus with a rainbow cutie mark, appears as a background character in the s1 episode SOnic rainboom just after rainbow dash offers to show the others Cloudsdale, hes one of the ponies flying past in the backdrop with Dr.Whooves. You can rename him if u want lol) I would like to see how that turned out, and you have a new personality to invent too :) i would do that myself but i am busy with a FlutterFour (all of fluttershys different personalities) shipping fic right now.
ReplyDeletei mean homo-twilight
ReplyDeleteHuh. This thing updated. Go figure.
ReplyDelete