• Story: To Be a Better Stallion (Update Complete!)

    by

    [Normal] [Comedy] [Light-Shipping]

    Author: Autumn Wind
    Description: After a crushing second rejection from Rarity, Blueblood finds himself rather emotionally shaken. However, when he finds himself under the guidance of an unassuming farmer, the noblecolt's life will take a turn the likes of which he would never have expected.
    Google Documents
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 1
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 2
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 3
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 4
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 5
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 6
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 7
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 8
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 9
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 10 (New!)


    Deviant Art
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 1
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 2
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 3
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 4
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 5
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 6
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 7
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 8
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 9
    To Be a Better Stallion: Chapter 10 (New!)


    To Be A Better Stallion (All Links)

    Additional Tags: Blueblood works hard to improve
    Monday, April 23, 2012 op
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    69 comments:

    1. TenchiFreak5September 21, 2011 at 4:02 PM

      This comment has been removed by the author.

      ReplyDelete
    2. TyranomanSeptember 21, 2011 at 4:06 PM

      Another Blueblood fic? Eh, what the hell may aswell read it.

      ReplyDelete
    3. Pinkamina Diane PieSeptember 21, 2011 at 4:09 PM

      I just finished the new chapter of A Prince Among Paupers, and now this? Quite a bit of Blueblood.

      ReplyDelete
    4. YetAnotherBronySeptember 21, 2011 at 4:10 PM

      Looking at the tags...

      Big Mac, Blueblood, Rarity, Shipping...

      Hmm, is this a new m/m pairing? I'll have to read it and find out...

      ReplyDelete
    5. AeolusSeptember 21, 2011 at 4:22 PM

      Blueblood isn't my favorite character, but I love how oblivious he is. Hes a bit over the top, but not where he's annoying like in the show or most fics. I like it.

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    6. TenchiFreak5September 21, 2011 at 4:23 PM

      Hm. I think I like where this one is going.

      ReplyDelete
    7. AnonymousSeptember 21, 2011 at 4:24 PM

      You got published! Sweet!

      The fiction's just awesome, man!

      ReplyDelete
    8. Melon HunterSeptember 21, 2011 at 4:24 PM

      I like this fic a lot - the plot is set up well, and I'm looking forward to seeing how this turns out. Also, I very much approve of the 'victim of his own upbringing' characterisation of Blueblood; it's very believable.

      ReplyDelete
    9. AeolusSeptember 21, 2011 at 4:29 PM

      I like it so far. I swear though, if this turns into a applejack ship I will be disappointed...

      ReplyDelete
    10. MoochSeptember 21, 2011 at 5:09 PM

      I have to say, this is the first Blueblood fanfic I have read that doesn't have him come across as incredibly vapid and self absorbed. I love how you have written him knowing he was in the wrong, but he still wants to change to be a better stallion. Kinda, sorta hoping he doesn't hook up with Applejack and does try to make amends with Rarity. I'll be keeping an eye out for more chapters!

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    11. Nicklas The BronySeptember 21, 2011 at 5:26 PM

      "His first love had been a pegasus filly by the name of Amethyst, the daughter of BaronEmerald Heart." When i got to this point i realiced i realy wanna hear this story someone plz write this story!! i will read it.
      (i alvays wanna know every backstory i run into i just love them more than the actual story most of the time.)

      ReplyDelete
    12. Autumn WindSeptember 21, 2011 at 5:42 PM

      Thanks for the comments, everyone. ^^

      As for you guys wondering about the pairing: Take a look at the pic It's there for a reason. :P

      ReplyDelete
    13. Aqua BoltSeptember 21, 2011 at 5:44 PM

      Good to finally see this up on EQ daily. Can't wait to see more of it

      ReplyDelete
    14. Party FavorsSeptember 21, 2011 at 5:50 PM

      Wow, another fic I can add to the list of Bluebloods that I actually somewhat like! That brings the total to... 2.

      ReplyDelete
    15. Autumn WindSeptember 21, 2011 at 5:55 PM

      @Party Favors

      You got a laugh out of me, have a cookie. =D

      ReplyDelete
    16. sparkleshyguy85September 21, 2011 at 5:55 PM

      It's nice to see a different characterisation of Blueblood. It'll be interesting to follow this one.

      ReplyDelete
    17. Municipal EnginesSeptember 21, 2011 at 6:10 PM

      I really dig this characterisation of Blueblood. I mean, for once he isn't impossibly inconsiderate or rude, only just really inconsiderate. Thankfully, he's finally smart enough in a fic to come to his own conclusion about his behaviour.

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    18. Autumn WindSeptember 21, 2011 at 6:24 PM

      @Nicklas The Brony

      Keep your eyes peeled, that'll come up in a chapter down the line. ;)

      ReplyDelete
    19. Party FavorsSeptember 21, 2011 at 6:43 PM

      @Autumn Wind
      -eats- Delicious.

      ReplyDelete
    20. MoochSeptember 21, 2011 at 6:45 PM

      Also wanted to say, that I totally forgot to type, was I love the interaction between Rarity and Applejack. Yea the two are opposites and sometimes end up butting heads, but I love how Applejack states her case, but lives the choice up to Rarity. And she sees how much her friend is conflicted and even hurting and she is there for her. I hope we see more of that in the coming chapters.

      ReplyDelete
    21. PinkPuttySeptember 21, 2011 at 6:58 PM

      You know, somehow I kinda like this Blueblood.

      Can't wait for more :)

      ReplyDelete
    22. AnonymooseSeptember 21, 2011 at 7:59 PM

      This is pretty good so far! Can't wait for the updates!

      ReplyDelete
    23. Magical TrevorSeptember 21, 2011 at 8:32 PM

      YAY! Come on! Trevor wants to read chapter 3! Hurry up! Everypony knows you obviously have nothing better to do with your time, so come on! Get to work! 8D

      (XD JK! Serial though, get working ASAP! (Please.))

      ~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

      ReplyDelete
    24. AnonymousSeptember 21, 2011 at 8:42 PM

      I actually enjoy Blueblood's characterization in this one. Normally I find it hilarious when he's a rude, inconsiderate jerk who uses words bigger than his brain, but this is pretty interesting. If Lord Byron was a pony, I think he would be kinda like this.

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    25. Anon September 21, 2011 at 9:16 PM

      I was one of the helpers/editors for this, I don't particularly like blueblood as a charachater in a fanfic unless hes portrayed as the villain. This fanfiction however, changed all of that. I really loved the portrayal of blueblood as a guy looking to change for the better. Its a wonderful fic filled with an amazing writing style and I highly encourage anypony to give it a chance like I did!

      ReplyDelete
    26. James BoltSeptember 21, 2011 at 9:41 PM

      And this story is why i usually avoid incomplete tags. i have a hard time with patience when it comes to such things, especially when you cut it off at a good point. all in all i like where this may be going. looking forward to a WAFF ending myself but thats just me.

      ReplyDelete
    27. Autumn WindSeptember 21, 2011 at 9:55 PM

      I cannot express enough how much joy your comments bring to me, everybrony.

      Therefore I'll just leave this here. http://www.discodiscord.com/?video=http%3A%2F%2Fyoutu.be%2FeBlJE2jjn0E&bpm=120

      ReplyDelete
    28. AnonymousSeptember 22, 2011 at 12:01 PM

      I like this so far, this is the first story I've read where Blueblood has been a sympathetic character... Partly because he's where I want to be in terms of romance. I want someone to love, someone who inspires me to be a better person to be worthy of her... (And, as it happens, someone like Rarity would do it for me: she'd be someone I could talk about design with, one of my real passions in life, AND she'd hold me to a high standard in the parts of life where I feel I need to improve myself.)

      But yeah, I'm looking forward to where this one goes.

      ReplyDelete
    29. MoochOctober 3, 2011 at 12:05 AM

      Man, if I could give another 5 stars I would! I don't know why, but this chapter just made me smile from the very beginning to the very end. Not many stories can do that for me. Heck, I even choked up a bit when Blueblood just knew about Ditzy's eye and speech problem, and yet he didn't even think of judging her for it. Gave me a warm feeling to know about his butler and how he holds him in high regard. And to pay for their muffins, milk and coffee like that. Blueblood, you are on the right track my stallion. Can't wait for chapter 4!

      ReplyDelete
    30. AnonymousOctober 3, 2011 at 1:18 AM

      I like this story, but Blueblood seems a little *too* sympathetic in it. Like, too willing/able to change. The shouting match with Rainbow Dash was actually the bit that felt the most "natural", if that makes sense. That said, the ending scene with Ditzy and Dinky was wonderful.

      I'm actually hoping he doesn't get together with Rarity at the end, but becomes platonic friends with her instead. I think that would make the fic stronger than "become nice, so that I can get the girl."

      ReplyDelete
    31. NeverKnownOctober 3, 2011 at 9:02 AM

      Keep up the Great work im looking forward to the future chapters :D

      ReplyDelete
    32. Specter Von BarenOctober 3, 2011 at 5:58 PM

      I do so enjoy this fic! It keeps Blueblood in character but at the same time, doesn't demonize him (No, seriously, aside from this and one other fic, they all show him to be nothing but an idiot and the worst person in the world). The scene with Rainbow Dash was very good, it showed him being angry and rude but he had some good points for it and he actually reflected on Applejack's words. Bravo!

      I really enjoyed the part where Blueblood commented on Ditzy's lazy eye and physical abnormalities in general. Blueblood in this fic is allot like Rarity but without the proper understanding of empathy and growing up in a political climate of self image and excessive luxury but at the same time, he isn't a bad person deep down, he just doesn't know any better.

      ReplyDelete
    33. Dubs RewatcherOctober 3, 2011 at 8:55 PM

      I LOVE the way you do Blueblood's dialogue. He speaks like he's pulled straight from an ancient Greek play, like Antigone or something.

      ReplyDelete
    34. BlackbeltOctober 3, 2011 at 10:28 PM

      Man, after reading this, I kinda wanna punch Blueblood's mom in the face.

      ReplyDelete
    35. TenchiFreak5October 5, 2011 at 2:27 PM

      Derpy entered the story, and my heart actually kind of sunk. I mean, so far, Blueblood is trying and he truly wants to be better, but he's still Blueblood as the earlier scene with Dash made clear. And then he noticed her eye. And I was actually shocked. To have him of all ponies emphasize with her, and better still, to do so for reasoning that is perfectly in-character for him in this story rather than an out-of-left-field bit of logic, floored me.



      I know this story is more along the lines of how his backstory forced him into the Prince Douche we all love to hate rather than just being that way naturally, but that really was a character-defining scene for this story and for his character. You've now got my full attention.

      ReplyDelete
    36. Harkotian ChroniclerOctober 5, 2011 at 4:27 PM

      This comment has been removed by the author.

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    37. KingTwelveSixteenOctober 5, 2011 at 5:41 PM

      Dear Autumn Wind,

      First off, this is an excellent story that I rated 5-stars and I thank you for writing it.

      Now then, I was just thinking about this story while sitting at a computer, several days after I read the last chapter - which says something about how good your story is - when I realized that such a thing as constructive criticism exists, and I could thus inform you of a particular problem I noticed in the last chapter and thus help you to better improve your writing skills.

      To be specific, during the scene in which Blueblood encounters Ditzy and Dinky Doo, I found Blueblood's reaction to Ditzy's lazy eye felt...forced.

      I don't say this because I think Blueblood's characterization of not caring about the eye is off (that was an excellent move), but because the story generally seems to be told from Blueblood's point of view and states specifically that he DOESN'T think anything of it, but then follows it up with what appear to be Blueblood's thoughts on how it doesn't matter.
      It just doesn't jive with me, and it gets even worse when, after the bit of dialogue, Blueblood seems to clearly have a thought of Ditzy's eye and speech problems being from the same source, again seeming to contradict what has previously been stated in the story.

      I also think the way you seem to out-right state Blueblood's attitude towards the matter a bit off in the first place, even without the seeming contradiction. It seems to me that the problem is that it doesn't follow the old piece of writing advice: 'show, don't tell'.

      I believe you could fix both problems if you simply had Blueblood notice the eye and be reminded of his prized butler instead of what you have now. That would give a way to show Blueblood's attitude towards such things instead of telling them, and also let you sneak in some background stuff about his butler.
      I am not suggesting going back and changing things you have already written, (that is a huge minefield of a discussion and you can decide whether to fix any problems you find with your own writings on your own) but I thought I should do my part as a reader of your story to help hone your writing skills even further.

      Thank you for considering and reading my critiques and for writing such an excellent piece of literature in the first place.

      Sincerely,
      King Twelve Sixteen.

      ReplyDelete
    38. Autumn WindOctober 5, 2011 at 11:46 PM

      @KingTwelveSixteen

      You present some good points. Thank you for the critique, it will likely help me improve future chapters.

      That being said, it's important to remember that the fic isn't explicitly from Blueblood's point of view. If it were, it would be in the first person. Rather, the fic has an omniscient narrator, though one that stands very close to Blueblood. (and occasionally to other characters).

      ReplyDelete
    39. Aqua BoltOctober 10, 2011 at 11:15 AM

      Chapter 3 has me wondering what cause an equestrian Orwell would have to write Shooting an Elephant.

      ReplyDelete
    40. DusklightOctober 10, 2011 at 2:18 PM

      I'm really enjoying your work Autumn Wind!

      It is great to see an in-depth analysis of Blueblood's character rather than writing him off as a spoilt aristocrat.
      It goes to show that ponies (and people for that matter) can change for the better! :)

      Thanks!

      ReplyDelete
    41. Scary ScottOctober 10, 2011 at 2:48 PM

      This looks to be interesting to me, Wonder how its gonna turn out.

      ReplyDelete
    42. Emperor JewelOctober 11, 2011 at 8:44 AM

      I just read the first two pages of this fic and I am already laughing so hard! Blueblood is perfect. I love how you do a balance between his upperclass behaviour and complete and total ignorance.

      ReplyDelete
    43. Specter Von BarenOctober 11, 2011 at 10:04 PM

      Another lovely chapter. As always.

      ReplyDelete
    44. Specter Von BarenOctober 12, 2011 at 10:21 PM

      Ah, there is one thing I think we need to see though. I think we need to see more of Rarity in this fic, see her hearing about Blueblood trying to change himself from the other characters, ya know?

      ReplyDelete
    45. Autumn WindOctober 13, 2011 at 8:08 AM

      @Specter Von Baren

      Indeed, you're right. I may have made the small mistake of leaving her in the sidelines somewhat too long, but I've been planning for her to show up again in chapter 5.

      ReplyDelete
    46. Ragneki5880October 27, 2011 at 11:38 PM

      This comment has been removed by the author.

      ReplyDelete
    47. Ragneki5880October 27, 2011 at 11:41 PM

      Woo! This story is just too amazing. I have to say, I can't imagine the difficulty I would have with writing such a pompous character. And you gave such depth to him as well. You really captured everyponys personalities so perfectly that I would consider you to be a storyboard writer for the show. I'd even say that this fanfic captures the characters better than any I have ever read. I love it!

      ReplyDelete
    48. TyranomanOctober 28, 2011 at 8:17 AM

      This is great man, Don't take too long on the next part! ^^

      ReplyDelete
    49. MoochOctober 28, 2011 at 10:24 AM

      Another great chapter!! I can really see Rarity being torn about Blueblood doing what he is doing. And Blueblood has really come a long, long way, especially if he is trying to reconcile with his old friends and is starting to see what a leader is really all about.

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    50. Specter Von BarenOctober 30, 2011 at 11:48 AM

      Got teary eyed at Blueblood's reminiscing of his lost friends.

      ReplyDelete
    51. MoochNovember 23, 2011 at 9:36 AM

      Gosh darnit Dash, don't go ruining this for Rarity!

      ReplyDelete
    52. Autumn WindNovember 23, 2011 at 10:46 AM

      Hey, everypony.

      So, I goofed.

      For pacing and content reasons, I had to cut down on a scene I'd foreshadowed in chapter 5's "in the next chapter" section.

      I've changed the foreshadowing now, sorry if it left anyone disappointed.

      ReplyDelete
    53. UnknownNovember 23, 2011 at 5:44 PM

      Woo, new To Be a Better Stallion.

      It's a great fic.

      ReplyDelete
    54. Capn_ChryssalidNovember 24, 2011 at 1:03 AM

      Not too long ago, you said to me, "fantastic work" - let me now return the compliment with the same. I've greatly enjoyed this fic, and I was happy to see an update enter the queue! The narrative accoutrements and timely prose helped to frame the dialogue, even when it became lighthearted, as with a certain owl. The laundry list of titles and noteworthies gave me a hearty chuckle, and I enjoyed the back and forth as Blueblood and Twilight had a reunion and reminisced about Canterlot a bit.

      Now I merely have to wait for the next update. It seems some reconciliation is in order. Must... be patient...

      ReplyDelete
    55. SlytherinFebruary 13, 2012 at 6:31 PM

      I have been following this story and Fixing up Mrs Smarty Pants story and I can say I love these two stories. This series is my second favourite series

      ReplyDelete
    56. AeolusFebruary 13, 2012 at 10:08 PM

      Ahh, glad to see this updated. This chapter was brilliant, I loved it. The singing? Hilarious! I liked this fic before, and now I love it. Keep it up!

      ReplyDelete
    57. statooseFebruary 16, 2012 at 10:17 PM

      I must say, this is one of my favorite fics. I love the way you set up all the scenes and dialouge. I'm really enjoying the concept of Blueblood bettering himself. And the song part was fun. :D

      ReplyDelete
    58. MelodiaFebruary 18, 2012 at 10:52 AM

      That song needs to be made.

      ReplyDelete
    59. Autumn WindMarch 4, 2012 at 9:13 AM

      I've been writing fics for over half a year now, and I've just realised that I've written my email wrong on every last one of them through the black magic of copy paste.

      My email is autumnwind.mlp­@gmail.com, not hotmail.com.

      Massive apologies to anyone who tried to email me at any point in time. I'd be glad to hear what you had to say.

      ReplyDelete
    60. TenchiFreak5March 26, 2012 at 10:45 AM

      What a feel-good chapter. Really looking forward to how it all wraps up.

      ReplyDelete
    61. AlondroMarch 27, 2012 at 8:38 PM

      @TenchiFreak5 *Prince Blueblood closed the door behind himself..*

      And then they had... salt.

      What? That's what they said they were having! Oh. OH! I know what you were thinking, you perv! For shame!

      >;3

      ReplyDelete
    62. KroqgarApril 23, 2012 at 5:10 AM

      This right here is a great damn story. Regular updates, good chapter lengths, an engaging premise with enough twists to keep it interesting, always those little teases of "Next time on Dragon Ball Z!"

      You just did everything absolutely spot on. Loved it from start to finish. 5 stars, and no mistake.

      ~Kroqgar

      ReplyDelete
    63. TenchiFreak5April 23, 2012 at 7:07 AM

      This comment has been removed by the author.

      ReplyDelete
    64. TenchiFreak5April 23, 2012 at 7:10 AM

      Whoops. Wrong comment.




      Anyway, lovely way to end the story. Good job. It was a great ride from beginning to end.

      ReplyDelete
    65. AlondroApril 23, 2012 at 3:38 PM

      @TenchiFreak5 And they get ready for their big happy wedding and then... CHANGELING ATTACK!! AGAIN!! D:

      ReplyDelete
    66. LastOfLancasApril 23, 2012 at 6:14 PM

      Phew.. That was a pretty good story. I really hoped that Chapter 9 was the end (with Rarity leading Blueblood to a champagne room if you catch my drift), but I guess an epilogue that wraps the whole thing.

      Honestly, there were certain instances where I didn't buy Blueblood's change in perspective or pacing of the story (probably from the former), but as a whole, it makes a pretty convincing story that can be used as a story arc for the series.

      Will look forward to your next endeavor, Autumn Wind, whatever it may be. No sequels though. Not yet. :D

      ReplyDelete
    67. FoolonthehillzApril 23, 2012 at 7:48 PM

      Yay! Congrats to Autie for getting this out!

      ReplyDelete
    68. N.1.S.May 5, 2012 at 7:00 PM

      I finished reading "To Be A Better Stallion" about a couple weeks ago now, and I've had a somewhat hard time trying to come up with what to say on how I thought about it. It was by no means a bad story, in fact I personally think it's one of the better Blueblood stories I've read. Reading this story kind of made me think that Blueblood was having a sort of out of body experience, watching himself as he went through all of his changes. The plot development was rather solid, given that Blueblood could have chosen to quit at anytime but didn't. And the flashback portions with his two foalhood friends was a nice touch as well, having him mend his old ties with them. All in all I thought it was a story well done.

      If I may also suggest two stories for you to read if you haven't already, they would be: "My Sweetie" and "The Best Night Ever". (Two of my favorites)

      ReplyDelete
    69. Autumn WindMay 7, 2012 at 8:24 PM

      @N.1.S.

      I've read both of them, and loved both of them. Also, if you've liked "My Sweetie", I'd like to recommend you look up "Shimmer", another of my fics, which touches on some similar subjects and also focuses on Sparkler.

      ReplyDelete

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