[Normal] [Sad] [Dark] Sadly, this story is in no way related to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead.
Author: MiloSaysRelax
Description: In the clearing of an unnamed forest between Canterlot and Ponyville, the bodies of Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were found, along with the wreckage of a flying machine. The Royal Guard are claiming it was a tragic accident, but Twilight Sparkle suspects that there is more to it. Will she find an answer to a question that nopony asked, or is she just trying to distract herself from her own grief?
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie Are Dead
Additional Tags: Minor OCs, Mystery
93 comments:
FIRST, Reading now!
ReplyDeleteWt...
ReplyDeleteNope not even gonna say that.
Uh, a very creative title, that's for sure.
ReplyDeletePony Hamlet?
ReplyDeleteI like Twilight's black mock turtleneck. She looks like Steve Jobs. Also, good writing, even if I am hella tired of reading about our heroes getting mashed and mangled.
ReplyDeleteNope, not even gonna bother, fed up with dark and sad fics...
ReplyDeleteIsn't there enough dark and sad in real life without bringing it here too?
Interesting title.
ReplyDeleteIf the "sad" put anyone off, the vast majority of the story's sadness will probably have happened in this first chapter, I tagged it Sad as a bit of Hail Mary considering the subject matter was probably going to make it that.
ReplyDeleteA pony version of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead would be hilarious.
ReplyDeleteThe title made me rage (lol)
ReplyDeleteT.T Rainbow can't be dead...
Hmn... nah!
ReplyDelete@Zarkanorf
ReplyDeleteYeah, when I saw this, that was my instant reaction.
Imagine Pinkie flipping that coin. Oh dear god I can actually imagine the weird way's she'd be doing it to.
Would... who would be playing hamlet??
Pretty interesting fic up to now, can't wait to see where it goes. ^^
ReplyDelete@NinesTempest
ReplyDeleteTwi probably, being mane character. If it was done for the Pilot, it would be nice to have Pinkie Pie and Nightmare Moon talking about the inevitability of her defeat while both are off screen. Plot Bunny to a Good Home?
they ran away from mr cheese man
ReplyDeleteThat title will get you attention, positive or not is to be seen.
ReplyDeletePersonally... I get enough reading out of reviewing and editing stories over at /fic/, I'm even 2 chapters behind on FoE... you know it's bad then.
For my money, I'm betting on Gilda
ReplyDelete@moocow1452
ReplyDeleteAll these ideas are fantastic.
I now want to adapt shakespeare to ponies while keeping them in character.
@KitsDamn, you beat me to it! That's what I also thought the moment the scene was described.
ReplyDeleteGah. More grimdark. Even if the writing is superb, I'm just going to skip it. I like my ponies the way they are -- fluffy marshmallows who at worst face a baddy before taking him/her out, or end up talking to inanimate objects before they're snapped out of it. And heck, that last isn't all that dark from a kid's PoV, just make-believe.
ReplyDeleteoh my. definitely what it says on the tin. uhm, i really have nothing i can say about the story itself. it all seems, uhm, well written. characterization seems pretty good. i'm getting a bit of a vibe from Rarity's scene that maybe she's being, uhm, downplayed? but it's so minor and really, with six - er - four characters, i can see some of them having less time than others. actually, re-reading her scenes i think it was my own interpretation that was tainting them and not how it was written.
ReplyDeletenasty way to go though.
The title pulled me in, by just being so blunt. It's not even all that sad....at least no more than a lot of TV drama type shows. My brain went in the same place as Twilight's anyway, so it's not depressing, if that makes sense. 'Mystery' does seem like it's the best tag for it, which makes it interesting.
ReplyDeleteWill certainly be following this one.
Wait! PART ONE!!! THERE'S MORE! I'm really starting to hate these continuing stories. Especially when they're really good.
ReplyDeleteGilda is the obvious culprit considering the victims and means. But too obvious? Bitter!Luna could of done it too. or even some other third party. But I'll admit it's the first thing I thought as well
ReplyDeleteDone reading... Holy shit this is kinda heartbreaking. Still wondering why Luna is in the tags, she's clearly not in this chapter. My guess is it's either Gilda, Luna (plz no! Not Luna) Or some OC. For the first time ever, i'm finding myself eagerly waiting for the next chapter of a fic WITHOUT shipping...
ReplyDeleteSorry... this may be the most brilliantly-written fic ever, but I will never know, because I'm not going to read it. I avoid grimdark stuff in general, but one that starts out with two of my favorite characters dead? No, I can't handle that, sorry.
ReplyDelete(For the record, they're all my favorite characters).
Id say gilda but this is fiction so it would be too obvious! Its most likely Some unlucky pony with the readon why pulled out of nowwhere. Its never obvious in fiction, realistic would be so boring. Kinda like CSI, with best subjects always being unrelated.
ReplyDeleteI dont like the title and I felt the ponies didnt take the situation gravely enough in few scenes but It was alright. Waiting for update...
If the author is as good as this story indicates then it won't be Gilda ............it is too obvious
ReplyDeleteBut I can explain the Luna tag very easily
They crashed either at "night" or the Early morning
Here is hoping for some awkward luna interegation
I really enjoy the style. And I probably hat the weirdest idea ever. A "Coltlumbo" Episode in Ponyville. Even tough it would be a strange Crossover I think this could fit well with the everypony is crazy theme. Oh god, now I have to write this...
ReplyDeleteGriffon the Knock-off
ReplyDeleteI can definitely see some interrogation happening. Luna, tracking down Gilda, Trixie, investigating whether any participants of the young fliers competition or whether any fans of hers were violent.
I don't think it'd be Luna... The girls saved her from her Lunar imprisonment (without her purification, she'd have been forced back eventually, undoubtedly). I think she'd be grateful to them.
I could see Gilda steaming for a year, and then encountering one or both ponies and going all instinctually ballistic. Gryphons do predate on ponies in mythology.
If it were Trixie... then they are all in danger. If she lost her mind over her life, possessions and career being destroyed by the Ponyville 6... Well...
I won't get into OCs. If it's an OC, then the reasons are in the author's head, not mine, and I don't know where things will go.
Of course, the story could end with Twilight in defeat, mathematically figuring out just exactly how an accident could cause everything, seeing the evidence lead up to the improbability of a freak accident... I think that she'd mentally break for a few days. Everything would hit her at once I think... maybe.
I hate sad stories, cause they make me feel bad, but sometimes it's OK when friends can band together and find the silver lining.
There better be a silver lining!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI really feel like it could be better to have obvious and simple explanation to everything than some half assed deus ex machina. Not implying that it would be neither though, I'm just thinking theoretically.
ReplyDeleteThat picture seems a bit odd doesn't it? Does every fic need a pic if there's not a single one that fits?
I was kinda disappointed in myself when I saw the initial star rating here, but then I read the comments, and I cheered up slightly. Not due to the compliments of my writing style (although I do quite enjoy them), but because, well, a good mystery story makes you speculate, and there's plenty of that going on here :D
ReplyDeleteSorry, author, you lost me. Too over the top. It just doesn't have any emotional impact anymore when you kill off two of the cast and are already spouting grimdark cliche lines by the top of page 2.
ReplyDeleteIt's been done, and really this doesn't have much interesting to say beyond the same old tug at the heartstrings that every sad fic tries.
@NinesTempest
ReplyDeleteEXCERPT FROM SONNET 51:
Then should I spur, though mounted on the wind,
In winged speed no motion shall I know,
Then can no horse with my desire keep pace.
Therefore desire, (of perfect'st love being made)
Shall neigh, no dull flesh, in his fiery race;
Hrmmmm....Ponies in Pentameter, eh?
I could see it happening...
Why?
ReplyDeleteWhy does this need to exist?
Answer: It does not.
If clopfics can exist, then so can grimdark fics like this. Don't like it? Don't read it and fucking deal with it.
ReplyDelete@Dusty the Royal Janitor
ReplyDeleteArguably, why does any fanfiction need to exist? All that is required is one person's want to make it exist.
Of course, you probably just don't like the story and are hiding it behind a witty comment. Which is fine, I suppose, but you could be more useful if you explain your problem with it rather than just comment in such a manner that I can only assume is designed to make me feel bad.
So, in conclusion, why? Why does your comment need to exist? Answer: it does not :P
It isn't even a matter of not needing to exist, for me. It's a matter of wondering why you chose pretty commonly used cliches to base the first chapter around.
ReplyDeleteI mean, we've seen all these elements before, and from what is up here the only 'interesting' bit of question left to answer is who set it up. I'm not quite sure if it's a matter of the pacing you're using, or that I'm just not empathizing with your characters, but frankly I have a hard time caring after the chapter.
And it seems like Twilight's in the same position.
@Whiteout
ReplyDeleteWhat cliches do you mean?
I'm not questioning your opinion, by the way, if you don't like it, then you don't like it, that's cool. But I'm just curious to see what you see as a cliche.
Nope. Not going to read this one. You're not allowed to kill THOSE ponies.
ReplyDeleteFinding it funny how many are outright refusing to read this....
ReplyDeleteSo, I've seen.... about 2 or 3 others that actually know what this is mimicking... Congratulations, brony, on choosing a wonderful play to go over with ponies. I haven't read it entirely yet, but I still love the concept.
ReplyDelete@Desert Rose
ReplyDeleteI'm finding it odd too. I have another story here on EqD, also Grimdark, and in a lot of ways far more violent and visceral than this, and everyone seemed to like it.
Also, it's weird because its...a bit pointless to comment about it. "I'm not going to read this because I don't like Grimdark" is pretty much as constructive as someone saying "I'm not going to read this because I don't like ponies". All it could really serve is a tiny bit of disillusionment from the author.
@Whitney
ReplyDeleteOkay, I haven't read it yet, but the post itself says it isn't based on Rosencrantz/Guildstern.
Looking forward to Chapter 2!
ReplyDeleteThis story is pretty great so far. Only needs minor editing. The ultimate judgement will be on the later chapters to see how the mystery unfolds. The characterizations are great though.
ReplyDeleteWonder how long Twi will make it before having a proper breakdown to get it out of her system. Maybe after seeing the bodies? Will Celestia be there to comfort her?
I for one am hoping that Gilda didn't do this since in my opinion she is the one most suited to murder the hell out of whoever killed her former friend.
If you're not going to read a story because you don't like the content, why bother to post about how you're not going to read it? It's a waste of time, as well as possibly making the writer feel bad. If it's not your cup of tea, just turn up your nose and move along. Spitting in it doesn't do anyone else any good - it just clutters up the space that could be occupied by constructive criticism and commentary from those that DO enjoy grimdark.
ReplyDeletesee title
ReplyDelete...spoilers much?
not reading
Just read a story about pinkie pie dying, not sure if I wanna read one about my favorite pony dying too, even if I do love mysteries. I'll have to mull this over.
ReplyDeleteSo i definately love this fic and i want to give my input on possible suspects
ReplyDeleteFirst up is the one everypony suspects
Gilda: she is the one to dislike Pinkie and Rainbow Dash the most, BUT despite this envy and hatred of their friendship, i would like to say that she would not do something so brutal to Rainbow because of their past friendship. While she is one of the characters most likely to be a suspect because she can fly amd cause damage, she may not even be near Ponyville for all we know.
Next up Trixie: she is likely a choice because she could be using them to draw out Twilight, however I sincerely doubt her ego will allow her to do it and even then she would go after Twilight and it would be hard for her to kill Dash and Pinkie because she only shows knowledge of SHOW magic (bright lights, illusions, etc)
Also I want to bring in th X factor: A competitor at the Young Fliers competition can be the most likely to kill Dash over jealousy at her fame and Pinkie could be an unfortunate casualty, causing the.death of the two
This is all a guess from watching the show and looking at the details from the story, so if i miss anything feel free to add into it.
Oh and before I forget there is one suspect I have yet to mention. One who is among us, on this very same page whos hooves are red and has a mane with streamers stuck in it because of his sloppy cleanup. Yes! I am speaking of...
*dramatic pause*
THE AUTHOR! Milo killed Dash and Pinkie in order to get his story approved by bronies across the world. He was desperate for people to notice his writing and how he would leave readers in suspense. Waiting! Waiting for the next update! It was then that it was too much, in order to get loyal fans he killed off some of the mane cast to create a mystery story to leave the actual readers on the edge of their seats or holding their phone tightly.as they scroll to each paragraph.
It is true sir! Confess your crimes! Confess and be given the righteous justice.you deserve!
*dramatic Trixie pose* *and bow*
I was so hoping for a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead parody
ReplyDeleteCSI:Ponyville. nuff'said.
ReplyDeleteHonestly I have to wonder at people's comments. Yes, two ponies are dead at the beginning. But this is less morbid than Star Trek. It's really NOT dark at all...it's serious, yes (though part of my first thought was that they trolled everyone and they are fake bodies or something....of course given the tags I'm sure this isn't the case).
ReplyDeleteBut hey, don't read it if you don't want to. I've skipped many many fics (including Fallout: Equestria) because I'm not a fan of grimdark in general myself. I read for enjoyment, and nothing is more enjoyable when reading then smiling or laughing. But...as I said above, the title pulled me in. And combined with the fact it's a mystery rather than "they are dead, how will the others cope without their best friends" or some silliness like that....well THAT is why I read it.
@MiloSaysRelax
ReplyDeleteOther story?
...
Oh shit, that one.
Anyways, I gave this a shot. Its interesting, getting the setup out of the way so bluntly, but I'm honestly not sure if I'm going to follow it further.
My problem is that I can't think of anyone in the show who would actually commit murder (let alone so brutally) without borderline character derailment (or, at the very least, an absolute shitload of background information that is completely made up). Certainly not Trixie. Not Douche. Not even Gilda.
This, in my mind, leaves one of two options: OCs were responsible, at which point my interest in the story sadly drops to nothing; or its going to end up being like it was in that episode of House when they blew the whole thing trying to figure out who murdered Kutner only to decide that he really did commit suicide.
And I almost want to say that the way it was done seems to contradict some of the stuff in the show.
I'll repeat again, I do have the issue of overtagging fics, it seems. I'm still getting a feel for the general opinion of the community, so I tagged this Dark and Sad for safety, as it contains Dark moments and Sad moments, but if I were to take it over an average of the events in the story (as they are in my head now) then it's probably mostly normal.
ReplyDelete@TechniFreak5
ReplyDeleteI like to think that the resolution (as it stands in my head right now) keeps everyone in character and is reasonably well explained.
But one thing I'll say is this, YOU HAVE SEEN ALL THE OCs YOU WILL SEE IN THIS ONE CHAPTER. So if it's OCs that are putting you off, then worry not.
I get the impression people aren't complaining about "wah, this story killed off two of my favorite characters" so much as "ugh, yet ANOTHER damn death story". They're not so much asking why must grimdark stories exist as why much there be so MANY of them.
ReplyDeleteNow, to be honest, I agree with them and I have no plans to read it either, but I thought I'd comment and mention that if I were going to write a story called "Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie Are Dead", here's what it'd be about:
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are as surprised as anypony to hear DJ P0N-3 reporting a strange rumor on her radio show: that Rainbow and Pinkie died a year ago and were replaced with lookalikes.
The DJ cites various tenuous bits of "evidence" in support of this crackpot theory, such as that if you play "Giggle at the Ghostly" backwards, it says "Pinkie is dead, pony, miss her, miss her", if you play Rainbow Dash's verse from "At the Gala" backwards, it sounds like "Turn me on, dead pegasus", if you hold up a mirror to the title of the show, it looks like "1ONE1X1X", indicating four living ponies and two dead ones, etc.
Twilight's inner Temperance Brennan speaks.
ReplyDeleteAs for the story, well, personally the only part I liked is drunk Spike.
ReplyDeleteSomebody should write a story about Spike getting drunk from brandy. That'd be much more interesting.
@genuineparts
ReplyDeletehttp://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/03/story-half-day-is-night.html
Hope this helps.
Im wondering if twilight is right then I think gilda killed rainbow dash and pinkie pie
ReplyDeleteStrange. Stories in which character's I love are dead don't bother me. I guess I'm only upset by the suffering of death (or any suffering), not death itself.
ReplyDeleteKeep going Milo. This might be the first FiM fic I give to my Mom to read. She loves a good murder mystery.
>Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie Are Dead
ReplyDelete-*facepalm* Errrg... stupid title...
*Boot to the Head* in extra.
I was initially put off by the title, but I like how this is shaping up. +1 to my list of stories to follow...
ReplyDeleteI like how some people are saying "Hurr durr, I'm not gonna read this story 'cause ponies die and I don't like dark/sad stories so I'm gonna leave this comment and maybe even a 1-star rating without actually loading up the page".
ReplyDeleteIf they didn't like it (or even if they're just trolling - it happens), then that'd be fine. It's the judging before reading that annoys me. Isn't that exactly what some MLP fans complain about when others dismiss it as "just a little kids show"?
Just thought I'd drop my 2 cents into this thread.
ReplyDeleteI don't like Grimdark. I end up reading a lot of it because, like it or not, if it's submitted the LEAST we can do is read over it. As Grimdark goes, this is above average. The characters (those living) are fairly close to what I'd imagine they'd react like and there isn't excessive gore. That's why I recommended this be posted.
Most grimdark fics I see are about 6 characters named after our little ponies who have the same talents but completely different characterizations. I think this, more than the sad, is why I loath the entire tag: too many stories don't feel like ponies. Sometimes we get a true top-tier grimdark fic in (Silent Ponyville, The Cough) and those are good reads.
This story avoids the more common pitfalls of grimdark (it feels like a pony-fic), but it's still not to my personal tastes. I HEAVILY lament the fact that people seem to be forgetting what the show is about. I miss the slews of happy, sweet, and cute fics we used to get.
To whoever said they didn't read FO:E because of grimdark, I feel you. I haven't touched that fic for two reasons:
a) Grimdark
b) OC cast -- When I'm in the mood for fanfiction, I want characters from the show.
@Kits
ReplyDeleteI do love hearing when I'm above average :D
Another thing - has everyone seen that the tag is in fact "Dark" not "Grimdark"? I did that on purpose.
ReplyDeleteThe story involves the death of ponies, but never in any horribly graphic manner (the description of the bodies is probably as graphic as it is going to get), so I thought tagging it Grimdark was a bit too far. To me, Grimdark and Dark have completely different meanings, but I'm not sure how everpony else defines the two.
@MiloSaysRelax
ReplyDeleteSpecifically the ones that queue'd the Grimdark Fic Drinking Game were 'It's a dark story, Pinkie's either dead or murdering everypony.' followed by 'Dash loses her wings.', followed shortly by 'Twilight is an unemotional logic robot'.
@MiloSaysRelax
Eh, I think our calibration for that is different. Two of the main cast murdered offscreen and the story starting with the crime scene and bodies is a CSI intro, not My Little Pony.
It isn't as grimdark for the sake of grimdark as a lot of the drek that's been posted here and on DA lately, but it is still one heck of a distance from the tone of the show.
@Whiteout
ReplyDeleteI actually don't read fanfics as much as I write them, so I didn't know that such things were overdone.
And fair play if you only want fanfics that stick with the tone of the show, that's your opinion, but I've always found that one of the big advantages of fanfiction as a whole is that you can play around with the protocol a bit. To take My Little Pony to where it is in this story (and my other one, for that matter) could be considered a bit of a jarring transition, I suppose.
But hey, some people like it, some people don't. When you reach the stage of writing fanfiction about My Little Pony, it's a lesson you learn damn quickly. :D
Actually, I do write MLP fanfic. ;) I just don't have anything on EqD just now. Waiting until I can send it up whole instead of chapters.
ReplyDeleteMy point really is that a lot of the 'eh, grimdark, I'm out' responses you're getting are because of just that jarring transition. Going for shock value has become pretty common among what makes it to EqD (and even more common in what doesn't), to the point that another fanfic that goes for it gets apathy or outright kneejerk hate.
Kits puts it very well above. We, for the most part, all got into this fandom out of an enjoyment of what the show had to offer. At least from what you posted, this fic isn't that, and the characters and settings suffer rather badly when warped too far off their premise.
My money is on Gilda. She felt betrayed by Dash and she hates Pinkie Pie.
ReplyDeleteCan't bring myself to read,those ponies don't die...well...together anyway. Damn CUPCAKES!
ReplyDeleteI think we need a 'mystery' tag.
ReplyDeleteI think people need to write stories about Rarity or Twilight or Applejack dieing or getting murdered. Pinkie and Dash have been used too much me thinks.
I'm hoping that at the end of all this that Twilight finally shows her sadness. I think I'd like a story where she goes full business for most of it because there are things to be done and only lets her feelings show when everything has been done.
I think I just found a much more appropriate pic for this story. http://bronibooru.mlponies.com/post/show/11530/blood-crossover-detective_conan-gabapple-highres-s
ReplyDeleteGod damn it, I really wanted this to be a pony version of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead.
ReplyDeleteI am saddened from reading the comments that this is apparently getting low starred solely due to the premise and not the merits of the story itself nor the actual subject matter.
ReplyDeleteI have seen and read horrors inflicted upon the bodies and psyches of these poor sweet ponies. Even worse I have witnessed them become the horrors themselves. An ultimate betrayal.
Please believe me when I say that when these characters are mistreated for shits giggles and cheap thrills I become a different person.
Molten metal flows through my veins, my heart becomes a black hole and my brain a squirming toad.
I would NEVER EVER endorse ANY work that would have this effect on me.
I endorse this. Wholeheartedly. It is not dark for the sake of dark. No sad for it's own sake either. It is merely a story with a premise some may be uncomfortable with.
Give it a chance or walk away, your choice. Don't troll the ratings.
Excuse me, how do I go too part 2? (newb at google docs here)
ReplyDelete@The unknown Rainbow Dash There is no Part 2 yet. When it's sent in, they'll put a link to it on this page.
ReplyDelete(It'll say something like: Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie Are Dead Chapter 2)
There aren't any links in the docs themselves unless the author puts them in.
@FamusJamus ohhh,I derped. All the talk about part 2 made me think there was a part 2 and I just couldnt find it. :P
ReplyDeleteOk, a few other people have said it, so now I can say it without seeming butthurt: yes, RD and PP are dead, yes, this story has dark and sad undertones, and I imagine the reason this particular story is gaining a lot of flak before even a word is read is just becausse of the bluntness of the title and the description.
ReplyDeleteBut if (and that's a very big if, because I've yet to see anyone this mean within this fandom) anyone did just see this, didn't approve, and gave me one-star without even reading it...just no. I know the star rating isn't the be all and end all, but purposefully trying to push down the rating so that less people will read is downright spiteful.
If you don't like it, just move on. I don't like opera, but that doesn't give me the right to attend one and shout "THIS SUCKS" at the performers. I simply don't go to any operas, and get on with my life :D
It was celestia trying to teach twilight another one of her horrible messed up "lessons"
ReplyDeleteNo rush but any eta on part 2?
ReplyDeleteThis is a Brilliant idea for a story and don't let anyone tell you different. If you ever played Phoenix Wright or games in said genre the reaction to the deaths is SPOT ON for a grand olde Murder Mystery. This needs to continue if only to see how everypony "Handles" the loss.
ReplyDeleteI can even accept there being little to no "Mystery" because you are so very good at keeping everypony in character.
twilight is so in character it hurts (in a good way).
Keep up the good work my friend
This is good; please continue!
ReplyDelete@MiloSaysRelax
ReplyDeleteGood story, can't wait to see more. Please tell me that you've at least started part 2? Not that I mean to rush you, but this is a mystery story and I got to have answers! :P
Also, maybe you could change the title to something a little less...blunt. Something like "Suspicion", etc will help to keep the neighsayers and the insta-one's at bay and may even get a few more reads from those weary of Grimdark. Just a thought.
Anyways, keep up the good work! Thanks
dude please say your making part 2
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this part and if there is going to be a part 2 that would be wonderful. I would definitely rate part one 5 stars, nice job man.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this part and if there is going to be a part 2 that would be wonderful. I would definitely rate part one 5 stars, nice job man.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this part and if there is going to be a part 2 that would be wonderful. I would definitely rate part one 5 stars, nice job man.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this part and if there is going to be a part 2 that would be wonderful. I would definitely rate part one 5 stars, nice job man.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this part and if there is going to be a part 2 that would be wonderful. I would definitely rate part one 5 stars, nice job man.
ReplyDelete