Author: Semolika
Description: Rainbow Dash, the most talented flier in Equestria, is struggling with strange emotions. Though normally confident and bold, she begins to grow quiet and nervous when in the presence of a certain lavender unicorn.The Price of Loyalty Part 1
When a terrible storm strikes Ponyville, Rainbow Dash is the first pony to drop everything and come to the rescue. However, when Twilight Sparkle insists on keeping an eye on her, Rainbow finds herself fighting two battles on completely different fronts: one to overcome the perils of the storm, and another to confess her feelings to the mare of her dreams.
The Price of Loyalty Part 2 (New!)
Additional Tags: Storm, Sadness, Confessions, Shipping, Determination
61 comments:
I don't usually read ships other than AppleDash and FlutterDash, but what the hell. I'll give this a try.
ReplyDeleteoh my fucking Celestia. DO I SPY TWIDASH? :D
ReplyDeleteOh lawd, TwiDash. My OTP.
ReplyDeleteI'll never be able to compete with these stories, ugh. Checking this one out though. :D
Shipping sucks anyway, but twilight and dash? Really?
ReplyDelete@bronydash
ReplyDeleteD= You don't like shipping? <.< I love shipping, particularly TwiDash.
This was a really good story, read it a couple of days ago. hopefully the second part is out tomorrow. The shipping is pretty light in the part.
ReplyDeleteWorth the read imo.
I remember reading this the next part needs to come soon i love me some TwiDash
ReplyDeleteSo does EVERYPONY want to fuck Rainbow Dash or what? I mean seriously....
ReplyDelete@mycutiemarkisagunit's the other way around. <.<
ReplyDeleteI'm intrigued because TwiDash is so hard to do convincingly so I'd like to see how it is done here, but I'm also scared because of [Sad]. Not sure if want.
ReplyDeleteGod I've turned into a massive baby.
Haven't seen one of these in a while....
ReplyDelete@mycutiemarkisagun
ReplyDelete>Implying you don't.
I never got into shipfics. Guess I'll make this my first one!
ReplyDelete@Doctor Valor
ReplyDeleteA couple of good ship fics are "You can't be missed if you never left" and "The Party That Never Ends" or something to that effect, i forget the exact title.
first one is TwiDash. Second one is PieDash
Hopefully it's a temp[SAD]. Poor Scootaloo...
ReplyDeleteThis was really good. 5/5. yay, TwiDash. :D
ReplyDeleteWhoop, Sparkledash!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to see most of you seem to like the story so far. I knew that even if the shipping is pretty light in the first part, it would make a fair few of the potential readers shy away from the story. Thanks for reading, everypony~
ReplyDelete@mycutiemarkisagun
ReplyDeleteyou must be new here
@mycutiemarkisagun
ReplyDeleteFall Weather Friends is proof enough for that all the ponies want to do Rainbow. She displayed extreme flexibility in the ball balancing game and the ability to vibrate really fast in the bronco game. XD
More TwiDash? Oh yes please. Seriously this shipping doesn't get enough attention.
ReplyDeleteI will leave all of my feedback on deviantart page. I'm going to dive into it RAIGHT NAO!
Oh man, this is shaping up to be good...
ReplyDeleteBut I can't help but be very, very concerned about that sad tag. Scootaloo, please be okay... ;-;
My favorite tags are shipping and sad, and then the third being adventure.
ReplyDeleteCome now what's wrong with you guys?
Wow, Twidash? That's not a ship you see very often.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I don't really get into shipping in FiM, but if anything I prefer the straight ships (excluding Lyra and Bonbon, of course). It's just me, but I really don't see any of the mane cast as being "filly-foolers". Not even Dash (Bi Dash is a maybe).
However, that doesn't keep me from reading shipping fics. I just read it for the story, not for the pairing.
Sad + Shipping + TwiDash = WILL READ
ReplyDeleteI haven't read any fics in a while, mostly because there's such a huge pile of them in my favorites, but this one gets priority and is getting read RIGHT THIS INSTANCE!!
ReplyDeleteI seem to like the rarer pairings for some reason. TwiDash, Rarijack, PinkieShy.
ReplyDeleteGOT A MAIN BITCH, GOT A MISTRESS/
ReplyDeleteCOUPLE FILLYFRIENDS, I'M SO HOOD RICH/
@YetAnotherBrony
ReplyDeleteRarijack rare? HA!
And Fluttershy/anybody is rare because Fluttershy is ugly and unlovable apparently. ^_^
@SemolikaI'm just glad you chose TwiDash. I LOVE TwiDash.
ReplyDelete@Doctor Valor I didnt read ship fics for a while
ReplyDeletethen i read Black and White (oct/lyra ship)
which is one of the most masterfully written pieces of literature I have ever read.
now i read ship fics because I crave that same amazing feeling from Black and White.
@derpidety
ReplyDeleteWhoa, whoa, whoa... Are you THE derpidety? Dude, I LOVE your music!
:D
FlutterDash is my ultimate favorite, closely followed by TwiDash. ^-^
ReplyDelete@YetAnotherBrony
ReplyDeletethose are my top 3 :) I really just like the complete opposite pairing ::)
Part 2 is out on DA. It's the last part.
ReplyDeletehttp://semolika.deviantart.com/art/The-Price-of-Loyalty-Part-2-258429713
I don't care much for the pairing, but its a good read none the less.
ReplyDeleteDAWWWWWWW.
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy TwiDash.
Such an amazing ending to an amazing story.
ReplyDeleteI loved this story. A lot.
This was a fun read; not as sad as some of the other sad fics I've read.
ReplyDeleteThough I think you could tighten up some sections, and the ship just seems a little rushed. You did hint at justification of the TwiDash ship, yet I feel as though you could sell it a little better.
Good job though! Looking forward to more :)
Reasons you should read:
ReplyDelete1: Scootalove
2: The shipping is not everpresent, it's only in a few scenes and only 1 is romantic.
3: The fic is not really sad. It's kind of an Adventure-suspense-shipping-sad in that order.
4: Wings are not tissue paper, YAY.
5: Scootalove
6: JUST DOOOOO EEEEEET!
@iAndster
ReplyDeleteI KNOW YOU!!! You're from the AVA forums rite?
Hooray for it not being all that sad. This fix is 5/5. I may be biased as TwiDash is my OTP, but there you go.
ReplyDeleteI've always been an AppleDash shipper, but this story is so well written, that I may convert to TwiDash! Excellent work!
ReplyDeleteSecond best TwiDash I've ever read. First being Building Bridges. Loved this story though, almost as much. :D
ReplyDeleteIn what way was that sad? It was tense for a while, sure, but [Sad] implies Sad Ending.
ReplyDeleteCute story, but I agree on that the [Sad] tag is completely unnecessary.
ReplyDeleteStill, I love TwiDash stories, and while this one did little that's new, it was very enjoyable to read.
Yep. I'll join the sentiments above me. Good story, but there is no reason it needs a [Sad] tag.
ReplyDeleteThis story, I'd say it's in the top 25% of fics like it. Scootalove = awesome.
ReplyDeleteGlad i read this. there's WAY too much appledash out there, i've been in dire need of some twidash.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful story <3
ReplyDeleteWow, that was a good story.
ReplyDeleteI usually don't like shipping...but the last few I've read have been really freakin good.
ReplyDelete5 stars. Well done, friend!
I finally got around to reading this (it has been sitting in my bookmarks for as long as it's been on EqD.) Great- No... Amazing story. I really enjoy shipping stories, personally. They're always so sweet and make me feel warm on the inside. This one definitely brought that warm feeling in my heart. I had never read a Rainbow Dash/Twilight Sparkle shipping until now; I loved it! 10/5 (I know, it's an improper fraction. So, what? You wanna fight about it? lol)
ReplyDeleteGood story, great shipping and a nice flow to the events happening: I´ll give you 5 outta 5.
ReplyDeleteThough i admitt if TwiDash wouldn´t be my OTP, i would have given you 4/5. ;P
But hey, TwiDash an awesome ship (20% more awesome than other Mane6 ships? Perhaps. :D) so a good fic about them deserve so many points. :)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI am recording my reading of it because I don't think there are any out there
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Nv72Qb_pso
I'm grateful that you have decided to take the time to record a reading, Chase. Perhaps this is the motivation I needed to start writing again.
ReplyDeleteWow Really?
ReplyDeleteThats awesome that you would start writing again because of me. Im liking the story so far and it I would record another story if you were to write it. Good luck.
Finished Reading! Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Nv72Qb_pso
ReplyDeleteThis marks my first shipping fic read since I decided that I would support TwiDash above all.
ReplyDeleteThe author was incredible in how each pony's dialogue was written: kept perfectly in line with how that pony would speak. Zecora speaking in rhyme was an excellent (if mandatory) touch.
All in all, a great read.
I listened to the reading of this story on Youtube, and I have to say, I'm rather disappointed.
ReplyDeleteStarting off, I was excited to hear this was TwiDash (of the two TwiDash fics I've read, one I helped edit and the other I wrote myself), and that it looked like it would be shipping with actual non-shipping plot. But sadly that didn't pan out, and the shipping took center stage in the middle.
I mean really: they find Scoot's goggles, Twilight breaks down (why? There was no untoward emotional investment for her in Scootaloo's disappearance. If anything, Rainbow should have been the one crying), figures out Rainbow has a crush on her, and then they have this long talk while standing in a clearing instead of, y'know, looking for the filly. The whole reason they're out there. Conversations like that should take a backseat to more important things, girls!
Lack of emotional development and investment was a major issue in this entire thing. I didn't believe the relationship was anything but "the author wants these ponies to kiss" (which I myself am guilty of, let's face it). And then they do kiss. And then they sleep together? Are you kidding me? Relationships don't work that way.
Anyway, quality was an issue as well. The editing seemed to break down towards the end, which is a shame, because the beginning was, again, quite promising. But mostly, it was the unrealistic horse kissing that drove this one south for me.
You'd think I didn't like shipping or something. :/
2.5/5