Author: Charcoal Quill
Description: After what seems like an eternity, Wheatley and Nightmare Moon cross paths and discuss their respective exile in space.Of Cores and the Alicorn
Additional Tags: Wheatley screws up big time
Story Two After the Break!
[Crossover][Random][Comedy]
Description: Nightmare Moon is free, but the magical accident that released her did more than just send her back to Equestria. Now, from behind the scenes, Luna exploits Nightmare's newfound weakness in order to sabotage the plans for eternal night.Guerrilla Corefare
Additional Tags: Nightmare Moon slowly becomes unhinged
103 comments:
I must resist making portal 2 jokes, I must.
ReplyDeleteThis has to be either the best or worst thing ever, and it is going straight to the top of my reading list.
ReplyDeleteLol really? Ponies...
ReplyDeleteHAHA im just gunna say it once SO nobody else will.. the caik IS a LIE HMPHF
ReplyDeleteNot that little talking thing again…
ReplyDeleteReally, really enjoyed this story had some pretty funny moments
ReplyDeleteI'ma give it 6 stars
@Luna
ReplyDeleteAt least you didn't have a little yellow one orbiting you babbling about space for a thousand years.
Love the Holy Grail reference!
ReplyDeleteSo Wheatley and the cores from Portal 2 are the stars that aided in Nightmare Moon's escape...
ReplyDeleteMind Blown.
@remenescent
ReplyDeleteI promised myself i would save this for when I felt like something hapy, you made me read it earlier.
Spoiler warning (just incase):
It was good, I'm always picky about comedy but I liked this the fact and space core made me laugh.
I really liked how nightmare Moon and Luna took turns in control and how the cores inadventantly freed her. They can never do anything right.
Overall it was very well done and made me feel good reading it; really deserves five stars.
Poor Luna though, thinking she was free just before nightmare moon came back.
I have a horrible sense of De Ja Vu. I've probably seen this story in a dream once.
ReplyDeleteConfound these AI cores. They drive villians to freedom.
ReplyDeleteMust read for Wheatley. (I loved that guy...)
ReplyDeleteHaha, oh gawd, i will read this!
ReplyDeleteHa! I liked it just because Portal and Ponies are awesome!
ReplyDeleteMy gosh.
ReplyDeleteIt all makes sense now.
My favorite line:
ReplyDelete***spoilers***
"Experts have concluded that one of the most likely suspects is Nolan North."
***spoilers***
But seriously, great writing. Charocoal really managed to capture the humor and voice of all the characters in the fic.
Also: the theory behind this is hilarious. Now I want moar Portal/Pony Crossovers.
A SEQUEL MUST BE DONE.
ReplyDeleteAnd the cores were now stuck on the moon together, and Wheatley couldn't even fall into the bliss of madness because he was a moron.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Rick the Adventure Core can defy physics because he is awesome.
"No rest for the wicked"
ReplyDeleteHaha, is that perhaps a bit of borderlands ref I spy?
Great story, by the way. I was thrilled to see this pop up. I'd been thinking about this very meetup for a long time. Glad(OS) someone took the time to make it a real story. 5/5
Short. Funny. SPACE! All around good, have some stars.
ReplyDeleteThat was a damn good story.
ReplyDeleteSadly it's finished xD
Spaaaaace sequel?
ReplyDeleteThe Fact Core was brilliant. I cannot tire of Portal and Ponies. 5 stars.
ReplyDeleteI like the part where Space Core talked about space.
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, I think you captured the cores' personalities perfectly. Your explanation for 'The stars shall aid in her escape' was superb.
Fact: Personality cores provide a realistic simulation of life on a natural satellite.
ReplyDelete"In the entire history of the universe, fedoras have never been out of style."
ReplyDeleteThis is bucking TRUTH.
Heh... I didn't expect that to work as well as it did. Great job melding the cores into Pony continuity!
ReplyDeleteYa know, I'd really like to see a sequel. I don't care if it doesn't have much of a plot, a slice of life story in which Wheatley and the other personality cores are Luna's friends.
ReplyDeleteIt's a great story overall though!
^ I totally agree with Violet Droplet up there. Doesn't have to be much, but it'd be cute and funny.
ReplyDeleteGreat work :)
@Sis
ReplyDeleteYou don't know the half of it, although it was always floating by every so often.
Constantly regaining then losing control was agonizing. And I thought I was only losing it before the moon. You wouldn't know what it's like being thrown back and forced to watch as a-a demon takes your body for a joy ride. And the things she did with it! Those are memories that will haunt me forever.
8 STARS!
ReplyDelete@ZigZag AND HE WAS RIGHT. Which is amazing.
ReplyDelete@Violet Droplet
ReplyDeleteI second the motion!
This deserves more stars than I can physically give.
ReplyDeletei love the bit about nolan north
ReplyDeleteI doubted that this was ever to exist, but someone did it anyway
ReplyDeleteStill, it is a great read! :)
I laughed, and I learned to fear herrings. They will not stop until you are dead.
ReplyDelete"Space pony." Well-written and hilarious!
ReplyDeleteThis is definitely worth six stars for the Fact Sphere's lines alone.
ReplyDeletePretty good, too many physics errors and the random appearence of the fact core made this hard to enjoy though...
ReplyDeleteI have to admit. this was pretty awesome. Too short though.
ReplyDeleteThis was way too short! WE WANT MOAR! WE NEED MOAR! NEIGH, WE DEMAND MOAR!
ReplyDeleteHonestly though, this was a great story. I've never played Portal, but I searched it to find out what this was all about. I regret nothing. Especially reading this story, and the chocolate cupcake.
A bit short, but great for what we got. I kinda want to see Luna retrieve the cores afterwards and have them do a roll around the world with her. Think of the SCIENCE they could have fun with.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Nice nod To Andrew Joshua Talon with the Abacus.
This is now the new fanon for Trevor... Wow...
ReplyDelete~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
Six stars. Take them. That was awesome.
ReplyDeletethe only bad part was when it was over, please make a sequel...
ReplyDelete-Just as expected.
ReplyDeleteShe's not going to just leave them there, is she?
ReplyDeleteHeehee, just noticed how similar sounding "AI core" and "Alicorn" are :p
ReplyDelete@ZigZag
You haven't read Better Living yet then, I take it?
Star. Star. Star. Star. Star.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this one. A nice short crossover fic. I think you captured the core's personality perfectly. The only thing I had against this story is I would prefer if Nightmare Moon stayed as Nightmare Moon. Not that a split personality isn't canon. I just think the split personality didn't flow well enough with the story. When Luna would come out, she would be lonely, sad, and longing for her sister. It's a constant mood whiplash for the reader. I found immense comedy in Nightmare Moon trying to keep her composure with the idiot cores floating around her. It was good to show how even Nightmare Moon gets bored (or even lonely) when there is no one to belittle. She has a dilemma. These cores are idiots, and they can only be an annoyance, but they're another being.
ReplyDeleteYou know what? I get it.
ReplyDeleteWheatley originally worked in the Enrichment center, to, along with GLaDOS, help manage it.
Wheatley became resentful of the fact that nobody ever seems to acknowledge him, and goes power-mad.
Thus, he was banished to the moon.
Luna originally worked alongside her sister Celestia, to help manage the sun and moon.
Luna became resentful of the fact that nobody seemed to acknowledge her or her night, and became power-mad.
Thus, she was banished to the moon.
Wheatley.
Is Luna.
Also can we get a sequel here?
ReplyDelete>“Star. Star. Star. Comet. Star. Star. Black hole. Space dust. Star…”
ReplyDelete-Another star, a blue Police Box, star... wait what ? ;)
>What a brilliant plan, he thought. Ha! Who’s the moron now, GLaDOS?
-That's funny, because he's forgetting the horrible burning part of the reentry into the atmosphere. :)
>“The plastic tips at the end of shoelaces are called ‘aglets’,” it said. “Their true purpose is sinister.”
-''Sinister aglets''... Those things do look sinister under the right light. Probably plotting with the Sporks, to take over the world !
>“I am the night,” she said, louder. “I… AM… NIGHTMARE MOON!”
-Ah well, she's not Batman then. ;)
>“While your inane friend has gotten his definitions missed up,”
-Did you meant ''messed up'' ?
>I could figure out how long it’s been if I only had an abacus…”
>“In the entire history of the universe, fedoras have never been out of style,”
-Ahh, the Abacus reference, always a great one... and then, the odd ''fedora'' reference ?
... And so, 4 personality cores (though Wheatley isn't exactly one, per say) were apparently the ''stars'' that helped Nightmare Moon escape ?
Well, hum, it's a good thing I guess :). It's as good a theory as any ;).
Though, now, I kinda want to read a story were Luna comes back to the Moon (after being 'cured') to meet the 4 Cores once again :D (after a few days, or even a month or a year, I'm quite sure they would still be there. After all, it's a good place as any to be in SPACE! ;) ) ...
I am happy now....I will now die....happy:)
ReplyDeleteYou know, the ending of this story strongly resembles the ending of Portal 1 and Portal 2 COMBINED! The character finds herself outside of her prison and free (Portal 1 and 2) and they are in a grassy field (Portal 2) but then something shows up and puts them through further imprisonment (Portal 1 "Party Associate")
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I thought this was a great story! Well done! The vital apparatus vent will deliver an autographed companion Luna plushie in three…two…o-BZZZZZZZT!
OH MY GOD! STORY 2! I JUST STARTLED THE NEIGHBORHOOD!
ReplyDeletePeople are saying this is an awesome story but it just seems too corny >.< should i read it?
ReplyDeletehey, might as well. i need a bit of a pick-me-up after "my little dashie" ;_;
@Nova25:
ReplyDeleteActually, Wheatley was indeed identified as a personality core by GLaDOS... one that the scientists added to her to lower her intelligence by feeding her bad ideas... an "idiot core".
And hey! A sequel! I totally didn't expect that. I look forward to reading it in a bit...
@Apsuenbwyfer11
ReplyDeleteYes. It's quite coreny.
Say. What?!
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a one-shot and you're telling me I get MOAR?!?one11!?! Sweeeet. Will have to read when less teh sleepies.
This is hilarious.
ReplyDelete*Spoiler alert*
Oh my gosh. Luna imitated THAT core. Ah ha ha ha ha.
OMG I nearly died laughing during the Shadowbolts scene.
ReplyDeleteOh Celestia! Story two... It was Hillarious. It's amazing how you pretty much just wrote Episode 2 of MLP but managed to make me laugh all through it.
ReplyDeleteYou captured the personalities of the cores flawlessly, and the way they made Nightmare Moon react made me laugh out loud again and again.
I especially loved how she reacted to the "flirting" with Rainbow Dash. I'm laughing out loud just thinking back on it.
This was even better than the first story! Five star for sure.
Part 2 was worth the wait, thanks!
ReplyDeleteWOOOOAH THIS IS AWESOME.
ReplyDeleteThe second one was amazing.
ReplyDeleteI laughed so hard at Luna's distraction of nightmare.
Luna likes cake and that increases the awesome.
A lovely happy ending.
AWESOME GOOD WORK!! i love both story to start to end (I wonder how they will be like in Luna premiere ep) or if discord kept fact to use as a idea maker.
ReplyDeleteSPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!
ReplyDeleteAuthor: Getting bored of space.
Aww, you're bored of space?! But Trevor LOVED the stories! Trevor eagerly awaits whatever stoy you do next! If they're half as good, then one shall wait as long as one has to!
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
DAT UPDATE. It's beautiful. I LOVE me some Portal 2 crossovers.
ReplyDeleteOh man, that was epic. And the Lord of the Rings reference was PRICELESS!!! Imagining Nightmare Moon saying "It burnssss usss!" had me rofling like I've never rofled before.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy that you did the sequel. You didn't rush it, it flowed nicely with the original MLP story and
you somehow managed to tie up both the Luna/Nightmare Moon arc AND the Portal series in a neat, cheerful little bow. It all makes sense now... Portal really WAS designed for ponies!
Well done sir.
Only one thing left to say:
*deep breath*
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE PONY!!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaawwww!!
Someone NEEDS to make a series of Day in the life style fics with the Cores turned into ponies
ReplyDeleteYou write a wonderful Fact Core.
ReplyDeleteBoth of these stories deserve 18.25 Stars, and a black forest cake! The personalities of all four personality cores were absolutely spot-on, and I just about died laughing at the interplay between them and NMM while the Mane 6 were in the forest! Fact Core's lines, especially, were utter comedic gold! Full stop, new paragraph!
ReplyDeleteOf all the comedy I've read on EQD, I have to say that your little piece here has had me grinning the most! Well done!
Oooooh, you won't believe how excited I was to see this post! If only I wasn't at the store at the time, I literally had to suppress a squee of joy to avoid drawing any strange stares!
ReplyDeleteAs for the actual content of the story, you give yourself far too little credit. Sure, the actual actions didn't deviate from what actually happened in the series but at the same time it did both point out (and seal) several gaping plot holes in Nightmare Moon's logic. I believe my exact reaction upon finishing it up was '... It all makes sense now.'
The final part with the letter seemed a tad bit off, but when you come down to it that's nothing to point fingers over. You made this update just to make us happy, and for that gift I'm sure we're all very grateful. I know I am.
So thank you, and happy writing!
I like Rick's part. I was laughing for most of it. Pretty good all the same.
ReplyDeletePirates of the Caribbean references please the Nathan
ReplyDeleteWait, this is continuing? Awesome. My least favorite part was where it ended. I'll read it in a moment.
ReplyDeleteLooks like I'm the only one that liked how short is was.
ReplyDeleteLargest attraction was the cores. Because we all know there was not enough of them in Portal 2 to keep us satisfied!
ReplyDeleteThey really don't fit in Equestria, but it was still a fun read.
So good. So wonderful. I enjoy this very much.
ReplyDeleteThe second part isn't as good as the first one.
ReplyDeleteIt's better.
Loved it. Well-written, happy ending. Portal and Luna. How much better can it get?
-Darth Equus, the Brony Sith Lord.
HOORAY :D
ReplyDeleteSweet, sweet closure :)
I like this. Happy endings all around, and the stuff with Nightmare moon and the strands of the core personalities during the pilot when she was messing around was great. A near seamless integration I might say.
Also, good for Wheatley, he finally got to apologize.
Heh. Almost want to see this become a series where Luna and the Cores go on wacky adventures and have hijinks... but somehow I don't think you'll be doing that given the artist comments.
Just finished Portal 2 this morning, and then went on to a day of sadness over Wheatley. Luckily, this story is the perfect cure. Mixes my favorite video game, with my favorite character from that video game, with my favorite pony.
ReplyDeleteFive stars, definitely. Made my night. The bit with the letter did seem a little forced, but, not gonna lie, I'm so happy it was in there, I thought it was great. Said there wouldn't really be anymore cores and Luna, but I'd love to see it again sometime.
Ha, I just read the first story a few hours before the second got posted (yes I am very slow at getting around to even the stories at the top of my list)! The first one was prety darn awesome. The second one was not quite as good, but closure is nice. I was wondering what was going to happen to all thos poor cores on the moon. Now I don't have to anymore!
ReplyDeleteTHIS FIC IS BEST FIC!
ReplyDeleteSo nice to see Wheatley fulfilling his original programming by supplying a constant stream of terrible ideas.
ReplyDeleteA GOOD READ
ReplyDeleteHahaha! I love the second part just as much as the first. It was a hilarious piece of closure.
ReplyDeleteThis is brilliant! I love it!
ReplyDeletePart 2:
ReplyDelete>Luna quickly slapped at two cords at random.)
>Rainbow Dash’s number one fan is the chicken known as Scootaloo.
-I suppose she pulled on Fact and Wheatley, right ?
>I was gathering magic – >Nightmare Moon’s brain caught up with her. …In order to stop wielders of the Elements of Harmony from defeating me.
>Luna’s smirk went into a full-blown, annoying grin.
-The cake... it was indeed a lie. But what a delicious one it was ;).
Is this what people call a ''Sweet Vengeance'' ? ;)
>But to Luna, the cleansing power of the rainbow was quite refreshing.
-It was... Minty fresh. ;) (with an aftertaste of spicy bubblegum)
>“I think I had too much cake,” Luna moaned quietly.
-Variation on the ' I think I had too much pie', I see ;).
Funny to see that Luna also has a 'little problem' with cakes, just like Celestia(as shown in, like, 10-15 stories. Good ones too.). It runs in the family, alright.
>“Everything that can exist therefore does. For instance, there is one world filled with nothing but shrimp.”
-Somehow, an entire universe filled with shrimps sounds like a very funny thing. :)
>“The Right of Parley is one of the rights in the Pirate Code,” recited Fact. “However, the Pirate Code is more like guidelines, anyway.”
-Ahh, nice 'Pirates of the Caribbeans' reference.
>P.P.S. Well, actually he said, “Hey, lady, I’m with Space Pony,” but it’s the thought that counts.
>Wheatley was fine. She turned her gaze back to the stars and smiled.
-Might have been a good addition to put a little something of a reaction from Chell, at the 'Space Pony' part of the letter... you know, maybe a tiny thing, could even be a reference to the ''There's a pony farm down there'' (or something close) that Wheatley had said near the end of Portal 2.
-----
It's was a rather pleasant read, I have to say. A simple, yet well done idea to integrate 'The personality Cores' of Portal, to Nightmare Moon ( 's defeat).
Also, it was interesting to see the events not just from a different perspective, but *literally* from an inside point of view ;).
So... We got 'Before the event', then 'During the Event'... and I suppose the end of ''Part 2'' is kinda the 'After the event'. I wonder what will/would be Celestia's reaction to those new odd friends of Luna ;) ?
The original was cool, the sequel was awesome ^_^ Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHeh... This was fun. It was hard to match the zany inventiveness of the original story, but I was happy to revisit it one more time anyway. I liked the fact core's nods to other series (Buffy's alternate universe of shrimp and POTC), and the explanation for why Nightmare Moon was rather ineffective as a villain was well done.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy that you made a sequel! Usually whenever authors cave into pressure for sequels, what follows is usually not as good as the first one. I was pleasantly surprised to see that part two is actually much better than part one.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely one of the best crossovers on the site. A well deserved 5-stars from me.
That story was epic, also you're remarkably good about spelling and grammar errors, I only saw one:
ReplyDelete‘The alicorn lifted turned its horn to the crater and lifted out another Core’
you used two verbs back to back
I'll have to read the sequel sometime soon
Oh not again, the second story was just as good as the first, meaning I am unable to comment on everything I liked. (I would have to write half of it out.)
ReplyDeleteI laughed at Wheatley being responsible for the thorn idea and the Fact cores rambling about the wonderbolts, Dash and scootaloo and I really liked the Pirate of the caribbean reference.
The whole thing was really funny and actually provided a good explanation for everything, the adventure core attempting to get Nightmare to hit on Rainbow was great as was when she thought she was going insane due to the cores ramblings, very well done.
I'm glad you were able to end everything happily and I really liked it. I really needed a good laugh and feel good piece. A great crossover and a really good read.
and @Nova, im fine with the cores so long as somepony finds a way to silence that incessantly rambling Space core.
I liked this story.
ReplyDeleteNo, I really liked it.
Nay, I LOVED it.
Can I please write a slice of life series based on this, showing what happens to the cores on Equestria as the show goes on?
why cant i view the second story?????
ReplyDeleteo, nvm, just found out i was retarded and looking at the wrong thing
ReplyDeletelove the story, was kinda hoping chell would go to equestria, but then realized that would b weird
ReplyDelete@jspang
ReplyDeleteIf you want Chell to visit Equestria, there's always "Better Living Through Science and Ponies".