[Grimdark][Adventure]
Author: Peroth
Description:Twilight Sparkle's horn begins to hurt one morning, and after an exhausting trip to the doctor she finds herself and her friends whisked away on an adventure whose success can decide the fate of Equestria. Contains OC Pony Villians.Growing Pains (All Links)
Growing Pains (Chapter 26 - Separate) (New!)
Additional Tags: Long, Adventure, OC, Battle, Laputa, Anemone, Anathema, Cloppin, Rukafelth, Shallom, Balla, Galio, Golding
121 comments:
Thats a damn good fic. Go read it now.
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty good, but sometimes it throws a little too much dark for my taste.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't like Cloppin, either little undeveloped or a little over the top there.
I read this ages ago, EQD is slow.
ReplyDeleteOh Celestia... Seth, go to sleep. I'm not kidding. We dont need you falling head over hooves to post things on the blog. Get some rest, please?
ReplyDeleteok, when it says Cloppin... are we talking clopfic here or wut, cuz I need to kno wether to give this a wide birth or commit to my first grimdark read.
ReplyDeleteFinally this awesome fic made it here.
ReplyDeleteTo all those somewhat uncertain cuz of the grimdark.
It's the grimdark one would expect of war.
Now go read it!!
I'm ashamed...
ReplyDeleteI thought title said Growing Up and i begun reading description i was like...rly?
If this is the story I think it is, then it's awesome. It has a whole repertoire of appeasing and exciting moments.
ReplyDeleteI don't know where to post this, but have you looked at trixie's image gallery on the wiki recently ,seth?
ReplyDeleteAbout time this was here. 'tis a good fic, and I'm glad it's here.
ReplyDelete@Risky
ReplyDeleteSome of the best stories on EQD have the Grimdark tag, however the Grimdark content is neither graphic nor traumatizing. The tag is used to cover an incredibly broad spectrum of content and unfortunately makes many readers fear the worst. Check the comments to get a feel for the actual type of content.
hmm This has same name as a Fluttershy fic..
ReplyDeletea sad one :(
This story is simply amazing. It's not grimdark in the traditional sense at all; it reads as if you brought war into canon FiM. The world's still full of optimism, and the powers that be have a plan to prevent the worst possible outcomes from happening. Twilight and Rainbow's powerup (which is so thoroughly world-changing I literally can't say more than those four words about it) is the coolest thing ever to happen to this fandom. At least 20% cooler than Nyx.
ReplyDeleteAWWW YEAH PEROTH,finally got it up on EqD. Good luck with the rest of it.
ReplyDeleteHoly trippin hooves this is something else.
ReplyDeleteI am impressed, I can't wait for more.
I found everyone talking about Twilight being on her period hilarious, for some reason.
ReplyDeleteThis story is amazing! It is a really compelling story that totally captured my imagination. 5 stars easily
ReplyDeleteSPOILER- DON"T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU
I also really love the idea that that Twilight is a Queen, I really hope she stays that way in the end.
@Risky
ReplyDeleteno, we are talking about a character called Cloppin. Think the Joker in pony form.
also if you haven't read this yet, START. NOW. really, it is that awesome.
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
it features, among other things, Twilight getting a Flying castle from basically the non-evil (technically), pony equivalent of Cthulhu.
do you really need any more reason to start reading this?
I just... I couldn't get through this. The first chapter had me chomping at the bit to read more, but... something was lost for me as I continued reading... the characterizations, the dialog the word choices just didn't engage me... I didn't really feel like these were the characters I adored...
ReplyDeleteA part of me wants to keep reading, to discover What Happened (tm)... but at he same time.. the obvious Twishy (fluttersparkle?) combined with some utterly awkward moments like Fluttershy calling Twilight "Miss Sparkle" to Spike...
nngh. Maybe I'll give it another try in a few days?
I like it. It started off with a bit of potential Twishy but then went off of that and developed into a potential Twidash. A lot of funny moments that I enjoyed, like the wtf face and the wrestling. It also came as sad at some parts. All in all I enjoyed it, and will read to finish. Love the floating castle and Queen Sparkle. Burn in Hell Cloppin.
ReplyDeleteI spent two days reading through all 15 chapters, and I honestly have to say that this story is amazing. I was able to read through and not lose my spot from start to end, and with the constant collection of everything from comical moments to suspenseful moments, I never got bored. I always wanted more.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for this story to update.
This story is amazing. All my bits!!! Take them!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't let this story's tags frighten you from reading it. All death has been, to this point, restricted to OC characters. There are some truly horrific events that occur in this fiction, but they serve the story, and set the reality of the threat to Equestria. Yes, some of the Mane 6 will be hurt, tormented, tortured, or imprisoned, but they always manage to pull through, come out on top, or become stronger for their personal losses. The story is ongoing, and Dash still has some recovery to do... but I have faith in her, and the author.
My biggest complaint with the story, isn't the story, it's that the writer is not the most experienced writer, and some trains of thought get pretty well hijacked when things jump from place to place without any warning or sufficient descriptive text to direct the reader. Writing technique is worse near the start, but seems to improve with each chapter. Learning as you go, I guess! There is also very inconsistent use of Equestrian terminology. It's become so extensive that my brain is automatically replacing every occurrence of Man with Stallion or Colt, Every appearance of Woman with Mare, Girl with Filly, Child with Foal... I, for one, am glad my brain can replace those on the fly in my minds voice as I read, without slowing my pace, but I know not all people are able to do that little mental trick easily. I know it broke my pacing for the first few chapters till I adapted.
The wonderful thing, is that these are all things that can be fixed with future revisions, editors, etc. I do not consider it something to stop me from reading this story. The story is well worth the inconvenience of some linguistic confusion, and having these non-Equestrian terms infiltrate this story.
My following post will contain a few vague spoilers, nothing detailed, but, be warned...
I never thought I'd become attached to a... Cthulhu like being. He's actually a very nice guy! You'll like him :D There is some very intriguing "pre-history", which provides an interesting backdrop as to why Equestria is now so peaceful. Twilight and Dash both are subjected to suffering through some of the middle chapters, but it's something that brings them together and lets then strengthen each other emotionally, magically, physically, and brings their friendship to a whole new level of trueness.
ReplyDeleteSome people have expressed concerns regarding shipping. The only shippy bits are either pain or drug induced hospital bed stupor, or are part of an elaborate illusion that has a significant purpose, and is never something that gets out of hand, or into reality. It's in fact, for Dash, a point of "Eep!!! Moving on... Next mirror please" (You'll understand when you get there). As far as "eew content", for those who are squicked by it, there is a point where Twilight is sick at the start of the story where rumor and gossip leads to some false beliefs in town that Twilight is dying from a period that won't end. In the latest chapter, a medical examination is being reviewed by one of her enemies that implies Twilight is still a virgin, due to her still having an intact hymen. The pony tries to postulate whether the information can be used as a weakness against her.
Two enemys stand out above all the others in both their bold nature, and their brutality and evil.
Shalom is an interesting character. He seems like an evil inversion of Rainbow Dash, and I have a feeling there may be a showdown in later chapters, but that's just pure speculation. Totally focused on his apparent pursuit of power, even amongst his servitude towards the goals of his superiors, and totally full of himself.
I agree with other comments. Cloppin is somewhat of a cross between the Joker from the modern Batman movies, but with a touch of Pinkie Pie style randomness, corrupted by the most bitter and utterly vile evil imaginable. I'd also go so far to say that his Evil Pie style is maybe tinged with a bit of a touch of Ichi the killer (not sure what ratio of Ichi vs Kakihara he falls under, but I got that very same sadist/masochist vibe from him). Clopin is EASILY hatable... especially considering the evil trauma he directed towards everypony's favorite bubbling joyous pink poof of energy, and... Horshire... Oh God... You'll LOVE to HATE Cloppin!
As for Twilight and Rainbow... So far, they seem to end up with some amazing gifts out of this ordeal. Still, I have to wonder, much like the characters in the story, what lies ahead. Peroth, I certainly love this story. Over the 15 chapters that are out, I've seen your writing quality steadily improve, and I can say that you have a winner on your hands!
Make this epic, make this complete!
Oh, and Rainbow Dash needs to be at least 20% more filled out by the end of this story... I's sad to see Dashie like that. Don't forget what the elements of Harmony did for Rarity and her tail after their battle with Nightmare Moon. Anemone chose Twilight for a reason. I think he chose all of the Elements of harmony through selecting her... That's the impression I get anyway.
Keep up the good work, and keep pumping out those AWESOME chapters!!!
Oh this is great, a very interesting story, and it has one of the best written flying battles I´ve read. 5 stars.
ReplyDelete!!!!!!!!SPOILER!!!!!!!!!!
so... you made a castle in the sky... called it Laputa... and give it to Twilight...
YOU GAVE TWILIGHT FREAKING SPARKLE A FREAKING FLYING CASTLE CALLED FREAKING LAPUTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
OMG I love this please keep it going
ReplyDeleteThe lack of rating stars thingy keeps me from giving this the 5 stars it deserves :(
ReplyDeleteOk. First off, I love it. Thought I commented on the first 15, turns out I didn't. As for the 16th, one small problem.
ReplyDeleteSpoiler? ---------------------
The dragon dash stood on was a she, right? And the one she stood on was named Rattler, right? And you reffered to Rattler as a he multiple times as Pinkie and Fluts mounted "him". Am I misunderstanding or is it a minor mishap?
/Spoiler ------------------------
That is all.
'Boring emotional stuff'?
ReplyDeleteYou belittle yourself unnecessarily. Although I am looking forward to the approaching action, I must admit.
K...I really should read this this weekend after I'm done being amazed by season 2...
ReplyDeleteI've put it off too long.
AHHHHHHHHH I saw that this story had been 'updated' and nearly squeaked for joy, only to realize that I've already read chapter 17 elsewhere and have been waiting on 18 for what feels like far too long now! Evil, evil anticipation of what will surely be a delightfully thrilling, action-packed next installment!
ReplyDelete....Uh, well, anyhow. I suppose what I mean to say is please do keep it coming, dearest author. Small grammatical errors aside, you spin quite an engaging yarn with this story and I eagerly long to find out what will happen next. Kudos!
You ever like so many aspects of a thing you can't decide on which to praise? Yeah, me too.
ReplyDeleteHaven't finished yet, but I am heavily enjoying what I have read so far.
ReplyDeleteThe lore here is just really rich and I love the characterizations.
SPOILER!
I can't tell if Fluttershy is being shipped with Twilight or Rainbow is...
Lol, the end of Chapter 17 had me cracking up. It was just so out of left field how Dash was suddenly completely enraged, and then the kiss, I was like, "What. What. What did I just read? What." Because I was so confus. Hilarious how Dash kind of took the sudden kiss in stride.
ReplyDeleteIts cute how Fluttershy and Dash are both, like, totally into Twilight, though.
Also, the 'boring emotional stuff' is all quite engrossing. So don't worry about it. In fact I'd love to see that stuff between Dash and Twilight explored more. And that stuff with Fluttershy and Twilight.
ReplyDeleteI also want to see Applejack do her 'sexy voice' again.
Give us more! Moar like this!
ReplyDeleteThe "Boring Emotional stuff" is actually rather engaging, and gives us a view of each ponies mindset before they set off for their adventure.
ReplyDeleteThis story gives me a "Redwall" vibe, and it feels like their already was climax, the escape and the raising of ******SPOILER********
Laputa.
All in all, I enjoyed it very much.
-Delta-
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Delta Takahashi
ReplyDeleteNow that you mention it, I can definitely see the Redwall vibe the story gives off. There is great tragedy and hardship going on, but the main characters stay upbeat.
Probably why the story has captured my attention as much as it has!
Keep up the good work Peroth!
YES. That was such a terribly agonizing wait between chapters, and now I must go through it all over again! Arrgh. Well at least I know it will be worth it, or at least if the current story is any indication. And of course it is~!
ReplyDeleteAnd well, considering how ridiculous my last bit of 'feedback' was (I was just so terribly excited!), I feel this time I really should go a little more in-depth and offer you some more substantial critique. The following contains spoilers for those perusing comments, as I would think would be expected~
First off I want to say that I think you write our ponies very well. The dialogue, and characterizations all seem spot-on to me (leastways, I can easily hear and visualize all of them in my mind as I read this), to the effect that it's easy for me to believe the wild and fantastical situations they are now finding themselves in, and I think they are reacting as they truly would if the series ascribed to such a dark and dynamic tone. The shipping is likewise made more believable because of this. Though generally I feel rather indifferent towards the subject I can enjoy it if it's done right, and while Twilight x Rainbow is not normally something I think I'd support, you make it work well within the context of your story and that is a great thing.
Secondly, I want to say that I think your pacing in writing out these scenes is just perfect... there's quite enough detail to be able to visualize things nicely, but it's concise enough that the story (and the action scenes in particular) don't lag in the slightest. The way the scenes jump around, ala-soap opera is somewhat jarring at times but in a good way if that makes sense... at least it makes me plow through the story that much faster to find out what's going on.
Mm there's probably so much more I can say but I suppose I've rambled enough for one comment, anyway. Now to touch on some impressions of this chapter (18) specifically:
- Twilight's waking scene was great, I loved the descriptions and the mention of Fluttershy's (and Dash's) scents, specifically. Authors don't always utilize smell when describing things and it adds so much richness to a scene, I think!
- Now I'm curious just why Rarity was looking so pleased with herself. Did she end up cooking something lovely for Applejack, after all? =^.^=
- The scene with the monkeys in the cave was incredibly cute.
- I will admit, I think I inwardly winced when I realized you were bringing Prince Blueblood into the story but that quickly dissipated when I saw how you were handling his character. Color me impressed dear; you might get me to like that royal lunk yet, truly a testament to some nice writing skills!
- Lastly, Derpy. I honestly am not even sure what to say about those scenes, despite the flurry of thoughts and emotions they brought on. So incredibly tragic, and the descriptions of the flying hell-beast were appropriately horrible in their vividness. Really, not enough words but that was some captivating writing.
I eagerly look forward to the next installment, godspeed please~!
.... And oh my, that was really quite the long comment wasn't it? Pardon me... ^^;;
ReplyDeleteI wonder how useful RD's copy ability can be. Not a lot has gone into the details of this ability, at least not that I can recall.
ReplyDeleteDo the clones have shared sight or any mental link? Even if it's just passively, RD would be a much better fighter if the clones are able to keep track of each other in some way so they don't accidentally get in each other's way. This would also allow her to defend the others better since each clone would be able to tell if one of them gets attacked by surprise.
Another thing I thought of that might be cool is if they shared combat experience. Like, when she spars against Pinkie, she can split off the other clones and they can fight themselves, thus increasing the amount of skill increase RD gets when she becomes whole again. Since she's the Guardian, it would make sense that she would be able to improve and get stronger faster than the others.
@EonMaster
ReplyDeleteThat would be cool, but it would COMPLETELY RIP OFF NARUTO.
@EonMaster/DPV111
ReplyDeleteAnd Naruto no doubt completely ripped off someone else. Shaired vision HAS been confermed, since one of the Dashes saw Twi do that Eye Twitch thing, while a DIFFERENT Dash was the one to comment on it. However, this ability makes it impossable for Dash to train with "herself" on the grounds that she would always know her own attacks. Now, training with multiple opponents at ONCE, on the other hoof...
Also, I have said it before and I'll say it again: fannon Ditzy Doo is the best pony. Working mother, physical disability, and just plain BAD ASSED!
I was NOT trying to be serious there...
ReplyDeleteAnyway. I'm enjoying what I've read of this so far. I'm taking a leap of faith on an incomplete grimdark and trusting in the author not to throw anything too messed up in here. Other fics have let me down after I gave them a chance. (Just an FYI, randomly having one of your Mane characters get raped will make me stop reading anything you write).
It doesn't help I already call Dash's cloning ability the "Rainbow Clone No Jutsu" outside the fic itself.
ReplyDeletelove dis' fic.
ReplyDelete@Mister Morden silly filly, they BOTH being shipped with Twilight!
ReplyDeleteas the author's editor and proofreader, I am glad that this is getting the recognition this deserves.
ReplyDelete*spoilers below*
FUN FACT: I actually drew some stuff for this, such as the flying castle scene and cloppin. look up mechanicalProfessor on DA if you wanna see it.
Personally, I would have swapped AJ's and Fluttershy's ages around. ...but that's just me. Also, yes, I ~AM~ wondering if the words "Three Way" are going to become relevent to the shipping in this fic.
ReplyDeleteHeh.
Also, something from early on. I've always wondered just how much "Earth Pony" energy Fluttershy has. She isn't exactly what one would call a good flyer, and her talent is based around a profetion that is usually handled by Earth Ponies and maybe the odd Unicorn. It just seems to me that if anyone was going to be blessed by the Alicorn of the soil and all things living upon it, it would be... well, Applejack, but I'm sure the big guy would spare something for Fluttershy. ...if only as a way to taunt Atmos.
There should be a shipping tag somewhere...
ReplyDeleteAnd TwiDash is, what I think it will end up with.
6 on 1 0_o
I started to read this story because I like long stories, nothing else. What did I get? The best Shipfic I've read so far! Why can't there be more shipping stories that don't go on like "HERP Wanna cuddle and kiss?" "DERP for sure"?
ReplyDeleteAs for the rest of the story... I don't know how to describe it, it's like one of those "crap stories" (that's what I call stuff like Harry Potter, Eragon, ...) in actually entertaining. Without alcohol. The Dash&Twi powering up was so silly and goofy, yet just fun to read!
Oh yeah and you managed to make me like Blueblood and Silverspoon, well played, well played. Need new chapter. NAOW!
I spent around 12 hours reading through this fic from start to finish, and because of this I didn't get to sleep until 7 am!
ReplyDeleteDespite this, I can not join in with everyone else who praise this as such an Amazing and Awesome story. It is a really good one though, but I'll try to develop my reasoning here.
First story warning: The first 8 chapters or so are Very, Very dark. It lightens up, but if you don't like dark fics, this is not for you.
Anyone starting to read this fic should also be warned that it starts of Really, Really slowly. The first 6-8 chapters felt to me as if they moved in a snails pace and there were several points in where I felt the characters were, well, out of character. Especially Celestia seemed to act without the wisdom I'd expect from her.
As the summary in the description says, Twilight becomes sick. The illness is serious and not even the best doctors in Canterlot has ever seen anything like it before. After Twilight have spent several days in pure pain she finally gets back to health again. After she's finally no longer in such pain, it takes them all of a 20 minute test to decide that yupp, it's now perfectly fine to send her on her way! Never mind that weird illness and the weird effects it had on her. We're sure it'll turn out well. You can probably guess how that turns out.
I also found myself having severe problems with the pacing of the story for these first chapters. Several times I strongly considered closing down the fic to do something that just wasn't so frustrating to read. It's a jumble of scenes and perspective shifts. In fact, it's not uncommon for the perspective to shift as many as five or more times per chapter. Most of these felt like they could have been handled better.
If you've read any of the other comments/reviews of this fic you ought to know by now that both Twilight and Rainbow Dash will get significant power-ups.
ReplyDeleteI can Easily say that the conclusion of this "power-up quest" Easily makes the slow start of the fic worth it. The power-ups are creative, well described and has hilarious comedic effect. Something Much needed after the dark start of the fanfic. Nowadays, the word "Epic" is perhaps a bit overused, but I can find no more suitable description for their powerups and how this is all introduced.
It's not perfect even after this, but everything feels like it's handled better and I can't wait for the next chapter.
Oh and for those who are concerned that this is a shipping fic: Yes, it is in fact a shipping fic. Despite being 19 chapters into the fic there's been no conclusive "pairing", but there are plenty of "romantic" themes and romantic tension between characters. (Minor spoiler: It starts out as FlutterTwi, but then turns more seriously towards TwiDash. The latter with a lot of snuggling. Some hints of other pairings as well, but nothing that's as serious as the TwiDash is.)
Below I will give some more opinions, but this time I will give a heavy Spoiler Warning. Don't read it if you want to avoid spoilers.
ReplyDeleteMy first major concern is Pinkie Pie. Seriously, what are you thinking when it comes to her? The character we're being shown is Not Pinkie Pie. It's not even Pinkamena Diane Pie. I can fully appreciate the fact that Pinkie is hard to write about, I'd be dead scared of giving her a heavy role in a fic myself, but here you're totally butchering everything she is.
I suppose you are trying to make her feel more like a "real" character than a cartoon character, but you still made reference to her pinkie sense. Why not include these special powers of hers instead? You pretty much make her an easy target for Clopin, which I think is beyond silly. If anything, she should be Clopins nemesis. her Pinkie Powers would be an excellent counterpoint to his scary clown powers. But nope, instead she acts decidedly Odd throughout. I mean, you even take away her cheerful disposition. How is she even Pinkie anymore? It's one thing to want to include character development, I'm all for that, and sad Pinkie can be appropriate as well. But this scaredy cat Pinkie is so unlike her it's not even fun. (She has literally shown herself capable of laughing in the face of danger in the show. I suppose you could argue that she didn't do that in episode 15, but she was having a sort of hard time concentrating what with her Pinkie Sense acting up.)
I also hope you will give some serious explanation as to how this "magic cancelling" thing works, and I hope we'll get it soon. Because so far, it has been used in a manner I can only consider to be far-fetched.
By your own rating, you gave Twilight Sparkle magic power that is 1/18th that of Celestias. While an ordinary Unicorn had less than 1/500th. So how is it possible for a measly 10 unicorns to form an anti magic field that could overpower her? She should be able to shatter that field without even trying to, considering how super powered she has become. This is what I'd call a major flaw so far, and it happened in the latest chapter. If anything, I think you should have the first attempt at blocking her magic fail, so that the enemy force had to increase their numbers to more along 30-80 Unicorns rather than 10. At least if we go by QuantumFires magic chart which you've referenced to yourself. (After all, it was only unicorns at their peak which had a power level of 2000. With Twilights level more around 56000, I can't see how 10 Unicorns could ever block her power. Despite this I still think Twi is actually a little bit too weak in her super powered form. I think 1/5th to 1/10th of Lunas had been more appropriately epic :). We've not been shown if Anemones blessing affected her actual magic power though, but if it did, then it should only increase the amount of unicorns needed to block her.)
ReplyDeleteErr, I've been writing a little too much here I think. Most probably won't read this far into my little analysis, but kudos to you if you do! I'll leave it here for now though.
Final word: I loved the story, once I got past the hideously slow start. I will be eagerly follow it to its conclusion, but I hope something will be done about Pinkie Pie, and I hope it will happen soon!
(Four posts because EQD refused to accept it as one or even two :).)
i guess chapter 20 isn't actually a chapter...
ReplyDeleteAnyway if you want an answer to the question i'd say the first or third one. If i had to narrow it down from there then i'd go with the first one just because i'm not the biggest fan of alternate universes.
Someone mentioned my magic chart YAY. I agree zanzibar, Twilght could of easily nuked 10 Powerful inicorns with ease. She disrupted an entite battle over Laptuas rising place on a whim.
ReplyDeleteNot sure where we are supposed to "vote" on the side-stories, so I'll just leave this here. Story #1 for when you need a break from this. CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT CHAPTER OMG. Not really a big TwiDash shipper, but this story is probably the only exception. It's REALLY well written, and executed, and I'm always checking back for the next update!
ReplyDelete@Mister Morden
ReplyDeleteEgads! Another massive pony fic for me to read! I'm going to blow out my synapses!
And by the way Mister Morden... I know you're working with the Shadows to subvert Equestria! I SAW you asking Rarity what she wanted! I'm a-tellin' the Vorlons on you! ;D
@QuantumFire
ReplyDeleteSuper Sayajin Twilight vs Perfect Cell-estia. XD
Her power level is now OVER 9,000! :O
this deserves a 6star for sure... so much epicness packed into 1 story.
ReplyDelete@Alondro
ReplyDeleteWhy Alondro, I have no idea what you are talking about!
So tell me, what do you want?
*clears throat*
This story is shaping up quite well, chapter 20 was very good. The only downside is the wait between chapters.
@QuantumFire
ReplyDeleteYes, you're absolutely right.
I've noticed a bit of a lack of forethought in this fic. The author manages to write spectacular battles, but sometimes he doesn't think things through enough. He seems to forget about things he's explained or written before.
Still, it's a good story. Not a perfect one by far, but very enjoyable.
@Zanzibar
ReplyDelete"He seems to forget about things he's explained or written before"
It's a little off putting when Twilight is amazingly OP one chapter and then has her flank handed to her the next.
@QuantumFire
ReplyDeleteI have to say I agree with you guys about twilight's power. I just read through the whole thing (Oh my God that took longer than I expected) and really enjoyed it a ton. But I do think twilight's power seems to fluctuate quite a bit. There has been like one single time where she was actually really powerful (the Laputa battle) but everything else she hardly even uses her powers at all. I think part of it is that she isn't really trained or prepared for combat, but STILL. she should be able to bust through any anti-magic and wreck their shit.
I just want to start this comment by saying I absolutely love this fic, and am always very giddy when I see it update. It was also the first MLP fanfic I ever really got into, and helped me to like Rainbow Dash (enough to earn the "coveted" title of best pony on my own personal best pony list).
ReplyDelete*Spoilers ahead*
On the subject of Rainbow Dash, I think I might just cry a little if Rainbow never gets her wings back. Right around the time when Rainbow and Twilight were getting their gifts from Anemone, thoughts began to circulate through my head, like Twilight getting enough magical power to fix Rainbow's wings, or that special book she got might contain something to help with that too (IIRC she hasn't done anything with it yet, so here's hoping).
Soon after that, though, thoughts of Rainbow Dash's wings never being fixed arose, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't angered by that. Rainbow Dash losing her ability to fly is akin to taking away a huge part of who she is. Rainbow pretty much lives to fly, and taking that away is just downright cruel. I was riled up more than I ever thought I would be from something as simple as a fanfic (I had to get up and walk around some before I calming down enough to continue reading), yet when she found a new resolve in protecting Twilight, that filled me with a sense of compromise and content.
In a similar sense, I hope Pinkie Pie goes back to her usual bubbly and perpetually hyperactive self. It just isn't the same when Pinkie Pie is down in the dumps all the time. Sad Pinkie makes a sad me. :(
I never thought a fanfic would rouse such emotion from me, but I guess that's a testament to the engaging style of this story. Excellent work Peroth, keep up the good writing, and I eagerly await the next update!
I want MOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRRRR..... pretty please?
ReplyDeleteIs this story dead? I was enjoying it..
ReplyDelete@Nichon GRRR i hope not..... I LOVE IT. but I remember in an authors note it said he was doing college, which I can attest takes a lot of time, so I hope beyond hope that we will get an update over the winter break.... lets start a petition!
ReplyDeleteCOME BACK TO US, WE NEED YOU! We're awash in a sea of uninteresting and utterly non-epic fanfiction! PLEASE DON'T ABANDON US! T-T
ReplyDelete@Kayriel AMEN.
ReplyDeleteEVERYBODY CHAPTER 22 IS BEING EDITED RIGHT NOW YESSSSSS I LOVE YOU PEROTH THANK YOU FOR NOT BEING DEAD THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!"
ReplyDeleteI hope this doesn't get turned into a TwiDash shipfic, seeing the way those two are behaving with each other is making me suspect that it just might be. I hope I'm wrong.
ReplyDeleteSo, am I the only one incredibly curious as to just what was in that cactus juice?
ReplyDelete@Municipal Engines
ReplyDeleteThere's plenty of romantic tension already. It's an unspoken love triangle between Twi/Dash/Shy, also it's pretty damn obvious with Rarity and Applejack.
If you don't like shipping, that's your business, but if you look down on a fantastic story because of it, then that's no one's failure but your own.
@kayriel that is exactly what i was thinking when i saw that..
ReplyDelete@hagil my guessis that it's something like absinthe
Man, when Fluttershy/Twilight were drunk i hoped for Shy to be a bit more agressive towards Twilight. Not as in violence, but as in romantic theme. Like trying to give her a tongue kiss or cuddling with her, telling her she smells soooooo nice and her fur is sooooooo soft. And then ofc Rainbow´s reaction to that with all the others watching it in glee. XDDD
ReplyDeleteBut sadly, we didn´t got that. Oh well, maybe next time. I do hope though that FS will get a bit more straight forward considering her feelings for TS. Maybe Pinkie can help her out or at least hear her out.
It would certainly be interesting to read RD´s thoughts when FS tries to gets closer to TS.^^
Oh and that Rarity/Applejack? Wasn´t Rarity the one who wants to marry a rich and noble colt in MLP? How would that description fit with AJ? XD
Anyway, great fic. I hope you get the next chapter done fast. :D
@Zanzibar
ReplyDeleteI suspect that whatever forces allow the ley lines to feed the world magic are impeded by the anti magic field. Think of it like this. Geo Metro vs Corvette. Which will win?
The one that doesn't have a $1.89 clamp on it's fuel line.
Doesn't matter HOW much power is under the hood.
Ig the competition can put a clamp on your energy source...
You lose!
The story started out slow, but now I'm really addicted to it. I really want to see what comes next! Please write more :-)
ReplyDeleteLove this story. Glad to see a new chapter, but I hope it resolves the coltria problms soon. MARCH 3... That's not today... NOOOOOOO.
ReplyDeleteLOL
in all seriousnes, this story truly is amazing. I just feel though,, like I'd want a little progression to happen soon. What's up with thhe sick pony. Are they going to see adventure soon, or just more Golding incursions on the city? Maybe Golding will force the hoof of the ruler. Who knows. I'm looking forward to it.
And don't forget to submit this to EqD. I see the EqD page for growing pains hasn't updated since September. Don't forget EqD is one of the best ways to gain viewership. Why this is not at 6 stars boggles my mind to no end.
ReplyDeleteWork for it man,
DEAR LORD IT'S GOING TO UPDATE!
ReplyDeletePRAISE JEEBUS!!
unless he is a dirty dirty liar...
@PinamenaDianePieTheThird
ReplyDeleteSTEB IS A DIRTY LIAR.. it should better update today though... I need my fix!
THIS HAD BETTER UPDATE. THIS IS MY FAVORITE FANFIC. EVER. IF STEB IS LYING< I WILL MURDER HIM. No pressure. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE UPDATE
ReplyDeleteIT UPDATED. BUCK YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES. THANKYOU SO SO SO MUCH!!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat, though I see at least two instances where you've left in critic.
ReplyDelete"Little confusion, I thought everything had stopped on the training ground." and
"Perhaps you can italicize the book title instead, no quotes."
Might want to remove those.
Okay, before I continue reading I need something to be spoiled for me. Do Dash's wings heal later on? I won't continue unless I know for sure.
ReplyDelete@Xamrin
ReplyDeleteThe story has not got to that if it ever will. Currently they are covered in an anit-magic field, so it depends on breaking that first.
Twilight may learn how in the upcoming chapters as she will be getting lessons from somepony who can explain how anti-magic works.
I still dont quite get how antimagic works. I mean, those guys got like only a half dozen unicorns but they were enough to shut down Twi and RD´s magic though both got really powerful ones, Twi from that dude of the sea and Rainbow from Celestia herself.
ReplyDeleteIt does feels like an overpowered spell, one little one that can stop like absolutley every magic around it no matter how big the power is that gets stopped.
As for the new chapter:
So cute!!!
So cool!!!
So...whut another Pinkie?! oO
XDDD
@Amethyst
ReplyDeleteMy guess is that when Twi and Dash are back in Equestria, they will find the unicorn that clipped Dash's wings(I'm pretty sure he was captured with the rest of them) and force him to heal them. Either that or Twi learns how to get rid of anti-magic and heals dash herself, it would make sense in developing the whole TwiDash thing
@James Rye
ReplyDeleteThere may be a way to deal with it, but you have to know how to do so first and you cannot brute force it. (I think there is, based on some of the dialogue with Sul when they are captured with Coltaria).
@PinamenaDianePieTheThird
Those are two ways it could happen, the other is Atmos does it when they visit him (I can see the Alicorn of the Sky doing something like that).
I think there is some other plot important thing that the TwiDash in intended to bring up. Seems that way after talking about that lord of Golding that is indispose in the latest chapter.
@James Rye
ReplyDeleteConsider this analogy for magic and anti-magic. My theory goes as follows. Magic is fueled by the ley lines, this seems to be rather intrinsic to the story. so compare...
You have a car with a 450 HP engine
You have a second car with a 95 HP engine
Which car will win in a race?
Well... If you put a clamp on the fuel line on the more powerful car... the weaker car will win the race, cause it has fuel, and the powerful car has no fuel.
It takes VERY LITTLE force to clamp a fuel line, but the effect is massive, regarding what happens to the engine.
I look at anti-magic, as a sort of clamp that isolates the ley lines from a magic user. Once that connection is isolated, their magic is no longer fueled by the ley lines, and their spells all collapse.
make sense?
The story started out really slow and weird, and I'm really not a fan of what happened to Rainbow Dash, but you did write a compelling adventure and I'm eager to read how it all unfolds. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteEdit chapter 24:
You have massively impressive writing skills. Every chapter is beautifully described, I get really attached to the characters, I can't wait to read more. Thanks!
Is chapter 25 up? The update says so but I can't find it.
ReplyDeleteDamn, Equestria Daily LIED!
ReplyDeletethe cake is a lie
ReplyDeleteEh? Am I missing something? Says Chap25 is out, but it's not really. o_O
ReplyDeleteCrap now they got me itching for a new chapter that ain't there
ReplyDelete... GET IT RIGHT SETH. DO NOT TAUNT ME WITH GP CHAPTERS THAT AREN'T THERE.
ReplyDeleteWhere is it.
ReplyDeleteWhere is it.
ReplyDeleteI'm assuming Seth derped the numbers again. Probably bumped the 5 instead of the 4, and meant chapter 24. EqD can take a few days to post these story updates. This probably just refers to the update with the new trainer. Pretty cool chapter. Also... of course I derp the name of the country in some of my earlier messages. Oops!
ReplyDeleteNew chapter! And it´s awesome, so awesome, mega awesome, ultra awesome, awesome awesome, 20% more awesome than usual!
ReplyDeleteDid i mentioned already that it´s awesome?
Rarity is such an awesome troll, I love it.
ReplyDeleteA bit sad though that this fic doesn´t get more attention/posts/fanart.
ReplyDeleteAlone that moment where Twi kisses Dash´s tears away...dang, i wish i could draw any good stuff, i´d so love to see those words formed into a glorious picture. >.<
And those funny moments like when Fluttershy stared down a door (lol) or when Rarity trolled Twilight so hard and made those seven Unicorns almost *adults*(joke(rofl)) or when Fluttershy got asked by Sabine about her feelings for Twilight and had that awesome dialogue inside her head UP YOURS SPINE indeed (XDDDDDDDDDDDDD).
Hah, i love reading this fic~
I really want to like this fic, but I so so so want it to be Flutter/Twi, or at least Flutter/Twi/Rainbow.
ReplyDeleteFluttershy getting left out from Twilight's awesomeness would make me sadface.
I dunno, Golfer. She got a kiss form Twi, granted it was on the forehead but still. I doubt she can conceal her lingering feelings for that purple mare and disguise it as best friendshipping.
ReplyDeletePlus RD has a lot of death flags raised. Especially this very new chapter... granted she has her clones, but i get the feeling that each time a clone of her dies, it has a bad effect on her real body once she gets everyone back to one. Fluttershy might play a deeper role with Twilight and RD than she herself believed to be able to. :/
@James
ReplyDeleteI will admit I haven't read past about chapter...18 or 19. I loved the story, but as I watched Dash and Twilight get closer and closer with Fluttershy being on the wings (Heh puns) I felt kind of a stone in the gut.
I don't want anything bad to happen to dash, but I really really want that flutter/twi pairing. I'm such a sucker for that ship. Feel like I get a new cavity every time I read one that's good.
Freakin' ponies and authors making me care about them! haha
Also, first time I've ever actually commented on EQD even after lurking here for a year. =P
Warning you now, mate, put up a shipping tag. I like shipping, but some people don't, and they rely on tags. Kinda hard ro avoid what you don't like if you don't know the content. THAT SAID!
ReplyDeleteABORT FLUTTERSHY ABORT! Hoolllllllyyyy shiiiiiiiit, I was laughing so hard. SO HARD. This chapter seems very different, and whole I enjoyed it, if the difference between edited and unedited is this obvious, then you should wait until its edited... This chapter is just so different that, were it not for the references to past events, this could be AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STORY. Seriously, that's how different the past chapters are. NOW GRANTED... Differences did start with the alcohol, so you might be "writing drunk" so to speak. If so, bravo, it was great!
All constructive criticism aside, don't ever refer to Twilight as a bitch in anyway. I fucking hate that word, especially when used in context as a synonym for "weak" or "reserved", such as "whiny little bitch". As character speech, its ok, that's the speaker's personality. As the silent POV thoughts? Twilight has never thrown around words like that, and the alcohol hadn't even started. Maybe I'm being over sensitive, I just didn't like that.
That was such a long chapter, so much stuff!
ReplyDeleteFluttershy + Twilight = adorable. You managed to make Sabine keep her promise, and the night was fun and innocent, even if the headaches will be felt sorely the next day.
I hope you can manage to read more soon!
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is The. Worst. Possible. Thing!!!
I hope you get over your writers block. I still stand by my belief that if you don't know what to write about the current state of affairs, move forward. It's been a while since the girls went adventuring, and maybe it's time to pick that up again.
I don't know. I have to say this is one of the stories that makes my heart skip a beat when I see an update posted to my email. I honestly think my mouth was quivering as I read your update.
I pray that you sort out where you want the story to go soon. Your chapters are so long and epic, and this story is one of those true joys in my life. I need to see your mythos expanded to completion!
Good luck on getting that thought process cleared out, and ending your writer's block.
^^^
ReplyDeleteAlso... Gonna go curl up into the fetal position and sob uncontrollably.
Chapter 26 was OBVIOUSLY a cake...
Cause everypony knows... The cake is a lie! LOL :P
*Sigh* Why do you have to post this again? Nothing has changed since the last time you announced a new "chapter".
ReplyDelete@Firedon
ReplyDeleteWhat he said :l
Neigh, author! Wait!!!
ReplyDeleteMust thou speaketh such travesty... Surely, tis a lie...
We shall weep the bitter tears of sorrow and despair while we wait for the author to return to us this, the most wonderful of stories.
All... all while the author does his version of "The Elements of Gaming"...
First Celestia's Notebook... Now Growing pains. Legendary stories that have both run their authors head first into that dreaded block... A big old writers block, smacked right upside the cranium... :'(
I certainly hope you can overcome it quickly. Even if I have to wait another half year... It'll be worth the wait for this story. I just pray you've not completely burned yourself out on it...
Ehm...
ReplyDeleteCan anyone tell me where the picture here is from?
I really wish clicking a picture linked to the source of the picture.
CHAPTER 26 - SEPARATE?! I AM SO OK WITH THIS!
ReplyDeleteAN UPDATE AN UPDATE HOLY SHIT AN UPDATE! PEROTH HAS COME BACK TO US! WE WERE NOT FORSAKEN! THE LEGENDARY GROWING PAINS, IS IT BACK ON TRACK?!
ReplyDeleteOh most glorious of nights!!! A TRUE update...
ReplyDeleteWait... It's noon now... I guess I slept well...
Also... Why google docs, where we had to have EqD fix the link to reach?
chapter 26 is still the old message at fanfiction.net??? I'm just curious why the standard story never got updated. I'll have to read this tonight after I finish work!
:)
I am very happy!
I'm sorry to hear about your writer's block. But it looks like you can out of it just fine. That chapter was fun ^_^
ReplyDeleteOverreacting to Dash's happy mood is totally something AJ and Rarity would do. They always stick their noses where it doesn't belong. Well, Rarity does anyways. But I still love them to bits.
Twilight and Dash are absolutely adorable together :-D
And Dash showing off at the end? She *needed* that. It's been too long since she bragged.
Thanks for the chapter, I hope I can read more soon :-)
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/13082/27/growing-pains/results
ReplyDeleteNew chapter, don't thank me