[Normal] [Random] [Comedy]
Author: Twilight Dapple
Description: Princess Luna has been attending a party in Ponyville and returns to Canterlot to find that Celestia is being controlled by a pony obsessed with order. To free her sister she must call on Twilight Sparkle, and her plan finally leaves the fate of all Equestria in the hooves of... Pinkie Pie?
Food Fights Are Magic
Additional Tags: Short, Food Fights, Silly, Royalty, Comic threat
12 comments:
Hahaha whaaaat?! Will read.
ReplyDeletePinkie Pie?
ReplyDeleteDOOOOOOOOMED
Ehhh... found it a little too fast-paced. While it was very descriptive, it lacked nuance. Everything happened one right after the other in a distinct sequence, which can be a good thing, but here it felt like it was rushing the action. The plot was kind of predictable, but I did enjoy it for the most part. Keep writing.
ReplyDeleteIn Pinkie's hooves? We're going to die, aren't we?
ReplyDeleteALL SHALL BOW BEFORE PINKIE PIE!!!! HEIL OUR RULER!
ReplyDeleteGood idea, poor execution.
ReplyDeleteFirst try. Could have done better.
ReplyDeleteI'll admit it wasn't the greatest thing ever, but it did keep me entertained for a the while it took me to read it.
ReplyDeleteYaaz!
ReplyDeleteI think... I think this author could benefit from an editor, and maybe a more experienced writer to lend him a hand.
ReplyDeleteHe has two stories now that are both really interesting ideas. There's this one, and then there's one where Celestia turns into a filly and loses her cutie mark and her memory. In both cases we're working with really good ideas and it's obvious that the skeleton of a good story is in here somewhere, but they just move too fast and without any sense of subtlety or atmosphere, and tend to toss just random crap in at the drop of a hat... all in all what is a great concept is bogged down in mediocre execution and lack of any organization.
I'd absolutely LOVE to read these fics again with an editor and monitor behind them, because the SEEDS of excellent stories are here. But its just too unfocused at the moment.
...Also he sems to have a certain fascination with a single OC that shows up in both fanfics. I can't be sure but given the way it was acting in the Filly Celestia fanfic, it realy rings of self-insert... might want to work on that...
LULZ. It's a pretty lighthearted fic, it doesn't need to be totally deep. An editor is always good, but still I for one didn't find it hard to read or anything.
ReplyDeleteCertainly makes me curious about the author's other story now.
A good attempt. I'm somewhat leniant on different people's writing style, but it seemed like story lost track of itself in places. A cool idea that needs work.
ReplyDelete