In what experts are calling, "a thing that has certainly happened", Peter S. Beagle, author of the critically acclaimed book The Last Unicorn, has issued several bold declarations in the form of signatures, inadvertently spoiling the plot of his story for readers everywhere.
"I'm pretty sure it's impossible to spoil a story published in 1968." An unknown pony was heard saying shortly before rolling her eyes and stomping away. Try telling that to the pair known only as "Dat Fucking Writefag" [sic] and "Ghiro", now forever consigned to know that Rarity is the most fabulous unicorn and that Lyra "will not turn into a human". Naturally, the owners of these new altered novels were unavailable for comment, but one Rarity T. Unicorn had the following to say:
"I would just like to thank Mr. Beagle for his obvious taste and refinement in recognizing my grace, sophistication, and charm. I may not be the last of anything, but that's no excuse not to dress in style? Hm? What's that? Hush Rainbow Dash, can't you see I'm--" [editor's note: the full quote continues for eleven and a half pages. For the full version, please buy our printed version!]
When spoken to about the signatures, Lyra held up a small sign explaining she had Laryngitis, and proceeded to make a face so sad that the universe itself was moved with pity.
66 comments:
Oh Phoe....
ReplyDeleteHey that rhymed.
SECOND (?)
ReplyDeleteTag "I Don't Know What" is well-earned.
ReplyDelete@Mr.MooMoo
ReplyDeleteIt's pronounced more like "Fee," so no rhyme for you! :P
I am very, very largely confused. What the heck is this?
ReplyDeleteI do believe that this went over my head.
ReplyDeleteRarity is indeed one of the two best ponies.
ReplyDeleteThe other being Luna, of course.
Oooookay....I don't know Phoe... O.o
ReplyDeletePeter S. Beagle is the author of "The Last Unicorn", everypony.
ReplyDeleteThis post has revealed he is a brony.
...I...I believe my soul has reached a state of perfect bliss. ^_^
I am quite enjoying these "I Don't Know What" posts; they are really fun. xD
ReplyDeletewelp
ReplyDeleteAll I heard was Muffins
ReplyDeletePeter S. Beagle is a brony?
ReplyDeleteI laughed so hard after reading this
ReplyDeleteThese kinds of posts are among my favorite parts of EqD.
ReplyDeleteWhat is this?
ReplyDeleteI don't even...
ReplyDeleteNot to ruin everyone's fun, but Peter Beagle sells "personalized" copies of his novels at an extra cost, so he signs them and writes a message of your choice. More likely than not, he was asked to write these messages, but maybe he actually is a brony? :x
ReplyDeleteIs that the one about the unicorn going around with a wizard who can't do magic? Then she gets turned in to a human and falls in love? That was a pretty good book. That is one of my father's favorites. I got him to watch the second episode of my little pony, but he isn't manly enough to realize that he can be a man and watch un-manly things. This might make him a brony for good.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Rarity is best pony.
ReplyDeletePhoe, is this legit? I am a huge Last Unicorn fan and confirmation this is truth would make me very happy. If this is a joke, which I highly suspect, I will imitate Lyra's sadface from the press release.
ReplyDeleteWhy is this article so random?... Oh, Phoe.
ReplyDeleteYou so random.
@Unknown Well, he wrote a book about unicorns, so it is plausible.
ReplyDeleteYet, I wouldn't know if he likes pegasi or ponies, for that matter.
Pure.
ReplyDeleteWin.
Thank you Phoe, for giving me a bonus smile and chuckle I wasn't expecting today.
DO NOT GET.
ReplyDeleteDid Phoe just troll us?
ReplyDeleteI was just about to reread this book to. Guess I will for sure now.
ReplyDeleteeh, not much either way.. I;ve heard he wasnt; to fond of the story after he finished. but maybe he's come to like it, or, jsut maybe he got looking what the internet had shipped his chars with now, and fell in love with the show..
ReplyDelete(that said, Red Bull x ursa major.)
Rarity 4 lief I got da sticka yo
ReplyDelete@Unknown with the good explanation.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOhhhhhh, Phoe as in Phoenix... Duh. *Facehoof*
ReplyDelete"Be rary of wousing a rizard's wrath - rousing a rizard's - Be wary of making a magician angry!"
ReplyDeleteThat quote still puts a smile on my face everytime. Love the book and the movie, glad to see Peter S. Beagle enjoys MLP. :)
Niiiiice.
ReplyDelete@Mr.MooMooWell, more like "Phoebe" (Fee-Bee)
ReplyDeleteThis post made my day. After all Mr. Beagle is certainly something of an authority on unicorns, I'm sure we can all agree, so it's extremely gratifying to see he is obviously a man of fine taste, as well! Well done, sir! ^.^
ReplyDeleteInteresting. Now I feel conflicted because I kind of want to see this supposed unbeliveably sad Lyra face, but at the same time feel bad for wanting to see that.
ReplyDeleteThe signature sounds more like what someone would ask him to write . . . I mean, it would be a weird thing to sign otherwise.
ReplyDeleteRegardless of whether Mr. Beagle is into MLP or not, The Last Unicorn is an absolutely fantastic story that I encourage everyone to read.
Damn
ReplyDeleteI'm too drunk to understand what's going on...
Quick summary:
ReplyDelete1. "The Last Unicorn" is a fantasy novel from the 60's about Amalthea, who is (drum roll) the last unicorn to still walk the earth, and something bad has happened to her. The story follows Schmendrick and Molly, a pair of fairly ordinary people, who try to set things right. It was well-received by most critics, and has something of a cult following, but few would say it has the depth of, say, Lord of the Rings, or the spirituality of Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Personally, I found the book to be a good read... not life-changing, but it does have some very nice moments.
2. Peter Beagle wrote "The Last Unicorn". That's certainly his signature; I recognize it from having handled autographed copies of the book.
3. Rankin-Bass made "The Last Unicorn" into an animated movie. My own opinion is that like most Rankin-Bass productions of that era it is poorly animated and kinda ugly, but it has a couple of strengths: Amalthea is very nicely drawn (in a neo-anime kind of way), and the soundtrack is first-rate. Most MLP fans would find it worth watching.
4. White unicorn princess with excessively flowing mane and great big pretty eyes. Need we say more?
Haha, I remember people talking about ordering these. You can pay extra on the site to get a personally signed copy with a custom message.
ReplyDeleteI bought The Last unicorn movie on DVD for $7 at a grocery store, after thinking "I'll never find a better deal". It's awesome. Kinda reminds me a little of the old lord of the rings/hobbit cartoons, style wise. It's good. I was them furious when I saw the BLU-RAY at Walmart 3 weeks later, for only a few bucks more... I'm thinking of buying it anyway. I'll give the DVD to my Mom. Can't really give it to my brother's kids, on account of the mild nudity.
ReplyDeleteYo Phoe. Rarity is great, and imma let you finish, but Twilight Sparkle is the best unicorn, of ALL TIME.
ReplyDeleteHey all,
ReplyDeleteit's me, the owner of one of the books.
As to your wonder, yes, those are Beagle's handwritings, but no, he didn't do it himself.
I won't lie, me and Chiho have bought each a copy of the novel and asked for writing these quotes.
But we finally reached what we wanted to do:
1) Giving the ponybase more attention to its roots. Yes, along G1 TlU is actually the franchise which got many hooked up for Unicorns (and screw you, Caerdwyn, the movie was beautifully animated, better than lots of Disney movies and other cartoons/animes at its time!)
2) Turning Beagle into a brony (as relieable sources told me he hasn't watched the show yet)
3)Bronies buying both novel and dvd from his store to give him the financial support he deserves. ( viral,hurrr)
4)Tightening the friendship between him and us bronies
5)An own blog entry on ED :D
Unfortunately, we had issues with the postage. Living in Europe can f*ck you up easily if you order from the US, especially if one of us lives in Southern Europe.
So it was delayed for long. We opened two threads on ponychan asking for Bronies to join for our cause and help us with postage since we both live in Europe, but to no avail. We even asked Seth and Phoe, they both said no.
We have waited nearly a month after our order until we finally got our editions plus personalization, but it was worth it. Also, thanks for Phoe for posting this, this is the step needed to let bronies know of the true classic called The Last Unicorn.
Fellas, read the novel, watch the movie, learn the magics of a true fantasy story which isn't about hobbits and pupil wizards.
I hope it will inspire some bronies to buy a novel with their own personalization too.
We have still nothing for Twilight, Trixie, Luna, Celestia,Sweetie Bell, Dinkie, and...hm, who else? Oh yeah, Colgate!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWell this makes Peter S Beagle even more awesome. XD
ReplyDelete10/10 would pony again.
ReplyDeleteOkay my Kidney just offered to sell its-self to have one of these. Beagle is a genius and it's a shame the way he's gotten shafted. I already own one legitimate copy of his works, I suppose I can buy another one if it comes with witty MLP comments!
ReplyDeleteDat is correct, go support the man who inspired most of us into unicorn love and all things pony and magic.
@Sins Of Hope
ReplyDeleteYou don't really need to sell your kidney for this, unless you know how to trade with it 8P
All you need to know is where to look:
http://www.conlanpress.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=LU-TR
Here you can buy the book from Beagle's private store. Plus personalization.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Kein
ReplyDeleteDon't make me come over to you
Let me nutshell this. Last unicorn, spoilers, lyra is sad and has laryngitis. That's all you need to know.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised at the lack of knowledge about the Last Unicorn... but then again, it's been a while since the animated movie and they never got around to doing that live-action version of it they were supposed to be doing...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, bronies, if you haven't read/watched it you should! Totally worth it! Plus... wasn't there an x-over fic around here with The Last Unicorn? Ah well.
Also, read "Two Hearts" the sequel to the story.
Even if Lyra didn't have laryngitis, she only speaks Italian apparently.
ReplyDeleteOh, Peter S Beagle is awesome. I was lucky enough to go see a play he wrote when it was performed in San Francisco.
ReplyDeleteOmg if Beagle is truly a brony, this is the best thing I've ever seen. The Last Unicorn was one of my favorites growing up.
ReplyDeleteWAL NOW HOLD ON A MINUTE
ReplyDeleteSeems it's nice and all that Peter Beagle writes nice books, but we can't get too carried away- if he was asked to write those things, all it means is that he's either friendly, or has no idea what he's sayin' XD
I mean, maybe he really thinks HIS unicorn is the most fabulous one (wrong as he may be! ;) )
I look forward to learning more about this but let's let the poor fellow make up his own mind, okay?
Oh and hi, I'm a new Applejack type, pleased to meet you :D
@Caerdwyn
ReplyDeleteYou forgot to mention the title track from the movie, which was a big hit single for the group America: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdsmqwCRoM8
When the last eagle flies over the last crumbling mountain
And the last lion roars at the last dusty fountain
In the shadow of the forest though she may be old and worn
They will stare unbelieving at the last unicorn
When the first breath of winter through the flowers is icing
And you look to the north and a pale moon is rising
And it seems like all is dying and would leave the world to mourn
In the distance hear the laughter of the last unicorn
I'm alive, I'm alive
When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning
And the future has passed without even a last desperate warning
Then look into the sky where through the clouds a path is torn
Look and see her how she sparkles, it's the last unicorn
I'm alive, I'm alive
Many fans consider the movie to be anime as it WAS animated by the Japanese studio Topcraft. And what was Topcraft's next project after completing The Last Unicorn? They teamed up with Hayao Miyazaki to create Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, which proved so successful most of the Topcraft team continued the partnership with Miyazaki to form what we now know as Studio Ghibli!
I remember that movie. It was so good but I was also confused by the ending.
ReplyDeleteIt bears mentioning that I saw Mr. Beagle at a convention earlier this year, and I don't doubt for a minute that he could easily become a brony. Chances are pretty good he saw some MLP fare at the con, and he seemed to strike it up pretty well with the attendees.
ReplyDeleteDon't be afraid to ask the guy personally - you never know!
@Dat Fucking Writefag
ReplyDeleteConsidering your username, I find it kind of hilarious that you chose to censor the word "fuck" in this comment.
Just saying.
@Aquaman52
ReplyDeleteYeah, I know, right?
Authenticated by Peter S. Beagle, no less. Wow.
ReplyDelete@Viethra
ReplyDeleteI met Mr. Beagle at Anthrocon this year. He was a delight to chat with and I got a signed copy of the latest edition of "The Last Unicorn" with new artwork that makes the unicorn look much more like he'd intended (as in the animated film version, which by the way had several future Studio Ghibli animators in the animation team). From what I learned of his personality, his love of fantasy and humor, it wouldn't surprise me at all to hear he'd become a brony.
@Wingbeat
ReplyDeleteI know what convention youuuuuu went to! Hee hee hee!
Uhm... cuz... I was there too. c_c
You know the sad thing is?
ReplyDeleteIf Seth wouldn't have blocked anonymous commentings, this entry would've been bombed with pretty cool comments.