[Human In Equestria] [Comedy][Adventure]
Author: CardsLafter
Description:All Links after the break!
"So yeah, I'm a human. And now I'm a pony. No, that's not a joke, though I would laugh if it were. All I did was party at my place and pass out, only to wake up in Ponyville. Now you must be thinking I had one too many, and I'm right there with you. But no drunken hallucination lasts this long and whatever the case, The Nightmare seems to have a problem with me. A big one.So now, armed with my cigarettes and some cool unicorn magic, I have to fight off The Nightmare, my own Fanbronyism, and try to find the time to let the ponies give me a name. I know, I suggested getting a pony name first, but they're pretty excited about that. Not sure why. All of the ponies in this town are crazy."
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 1
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 2
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 3
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 4
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 5
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 6
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 7
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 8
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 9
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 10
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 11
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 12
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 13
Through The Eyes of Another Pony Part 14
REVISED EDITION:
Through the Eyes of Another Pony Part 1
Through the Eyes of Another Pony Part 2
Through the Eyes of Another Pony Part 3
Through the Eyes of Another Pony Part 4
Through the Eyes of Another Pony Part 5 Part 1 (New!)
Through the Eyes of Another Pony Part 5 Part 2 (New!)
Through the Eyes of Another Pony Part 6 (New!)
Additional Tags: Humans Are Not Monsters, Okay? Emotional Roller Coaster
4,596 comments:
A human as a pony. @_@
ReplyDeleteI knew this would come along sooner or later... will read
ReplyDeleteI lol'd at the additional tags...
ReplyDeleteI think that convinced me to read it.
The OC pony picture frightens me, why is it completely charcoal colored and built like a tank? Anyways, now that the tags have convinced me I am not a monster, I suppose I should give this fic a read through.
ReplyDeletePretty amusing so far. Being too lazy to bother with a psychotic breakdown has... interesting connotations.
ReplyDelete@ToonNinja
ReplyDeleteIt has AWESOME connotations. :D
There are a few mechanical errors, and I'm not sure if laughter was intentionally misspelled or not.
However it is without a doubt very funny, keep up the good comedy.
that fan girl moment woulda happened to me if i met twilight
ReplyDeleteTHAT WAS FUNNY I NEED MORE!
ReplyDeleteAwsome. Keep making more.
ReplyDeletehehe This is really entertaining. I usually don't like the human in Equestria stories, but I like this one, it's funny. Looking forward to chapter 2!
ReplyDelete@Aquaman52
ReplyDeleteNo! Now get your hand away from those bars young man! You might catch something delusional from him!
Oh look at that, he's still anonymous.
Interesting...
ReplyDeleteThe story seems okay so far, but I'll reserve my judgement until there are more chapters.
Too bad, human in equestria always gets a few one star ratings from people who don't even want to read it. It was actually really good and while at first I just gave it 5 stars to counter the bad votes, after reading this I felt they were justified.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is not a concept everyone likes, but for what it is, it's good. A very realistic view, seriously I would act exactly the same way. Well maybe without passing out in the end :)
The only good thing that can be said about stories written in the first person is that they are not stories written in the second person. Too many 'I's. Can't read.
ReplyDeleteThough I think the story could of been executed a bit better, it was a hilariously enjoyable read. Your writing style is pretty nice, and I only saw one typo. (It was, by the way, the incorrect tense for "light", during one of the cigarette bits.) Otherwise, very well done. Four stars.
ReplyDeleteEveryone just calm down.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the sinister, irredeemably evil human will suddenly sexually assault one of the Mane Six or something. Oh, how fallen Man is. For he is the devil's foal. Yea he will murder his brother to pocess his brothers land. Let him not bred in great numbers. For he will make a desert of his home and yours. Drive him back into his jungle lair. For he is the Harbinger of Death.
Well, I for one found this quite entertaining. If you feel satisfied with the story, than it's a keeper if you ask me.
ReplyDeleteI also loved the fashion this was written, like a progressive journal.
"humans have soft, smooth, mostly hairless skin that have color tone ranges of pink, orange, brown, white and mixtures thereof"
ReplyDeleteBUT NOT *BLACK* HUH ಠ_à²
i've just read it, and boy, it's actually quite hilarious. i can see that this guy's writing style is heavily influenced by the hitchikers guide, among toher things i can't quite place yet. very entertaining.
ReplyDeleteand don't you worry your pretty little human-hating heads. it's quite casual
@MyCutieMarkisaGUN
ReplyDeletedude, black IS brown. find oyur nearest "black" citizen and hold a hardware store color chart next to his face if you don't believe me
Awesome. Gotta love this site for being ahead of the curve on Sturgeon's Law.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteYeah but to paraphrase John Shaft, Caucasians aren't Eggshell White!
Um... That pic isn't a unicorn
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDelete>Twilight
>Semen
Riiiiiight...
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qomos5A1BFE&t=7m39s
I think seth picked a random image guys... or, erm, cereal did.
ReplyDeleteI was hooked when it mentioned smoking and pony's there needs to be more O.o
ReplyDeleteA little bit of a rough read, but amusing enough for me to forgive it and continue, especially since it's from a first time writefriend.
ReplyDeleteIm hooked...alot.
ReplyDeleteMore please, i DEMAND more!!!!
I think we´re going to see some shipping :)
ReplyDeleteThat was hilarious and I demand more ^_^
ReplyDeleteXD at the additional tags. I'll give it a read just for that.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't STOP laughing once I started reading! this is some of the best comedy I've read in a long while.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteSeems doubtful. He just fainted from seeing his idol.
I mean, if I saw Sonic or Rainbow Dash, I'd probably faint.
Love the direction of this story, and definitely looking forward to more ^^
ReplyDeleteHuh, if this happened to me I would assume that I had lost it as well. I would have panicked to some degree though, at least until I got bored, then I'd need to find something to do. Having a food fight with Pinkie does sound like fun, though I can't see how one would claim victory,that pony can be anywhere at anytime in anything.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to see more of this story in the future.
Interesting story, Great invention to insert this kind of human into Equestria.
ReplyDeleteNot gonna lie, im a sucker for these kind of stories...
ReplyDeleteA little sesquipedalian in places, and nothing excuses a "said blandly" dialogue tag. But not badly done, otherwise, and the stark "this is how much of a nerd I am" tone throughout is kind of endearing. Wish there were half ratings-- it's somewhere between 3 and 4 stars.
ReplyDeletemoar
ReplyDeleteplsnoship
lolfirewall<
I LOVED it! And I definitely wanna see more of this, please continue ^^
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteHey you! You with the face!
GO DIE.
But... Humans ARE evil! One of the greatest arguments for there being no aliens is that if they knew we existed, they'd take steps to stamp us out xD
ReplyDeleteThis is quite entertaining. I definitely look forward to further updates.
ReplyDelete"An ash grey hoof. I could tell from the shape and having seen some hooves in my time, you see."
ReplyDeleteI love you bro. *promptly continues to read*
good story so far. and as far as humans being monsters i think we are. just monsters with feelings.
ReplyDeleteFor a name of the Pony. I was thinking more along the lines of Breathfire. It sounds awesome and Spike never saw a pony do that before. And it would work as a name for the rest of the story.
ReplyDeleteAnyways I laughed a lot.
A thought: crossover Kafka's The Metamorphosis with this human->pony business. I don't care how it's done, but I sincerely believe that it needs to happen.
ReplyDeletewas a fun read.
ReplyDeleteDude, I wish I could light stuff on fire with a thought. I'd probably go mad with power and accidentally roast someone I care about, spiraling into a life of supervillainy, but it'd work out in the long run. Hell, I might even get a movie deal!
ReplyDeleteHaha! This is awsome and funny.
ReplyDeleteI'm usally not into human in equestria but this is funny and well written.
ReplyDeleteMore Please!
It's fun enough to read but there doesn't seem to be a point to it yet, aside from 'OMG I'm a pony and I can breathe fire!'. Of course it is just chapter 1.
ReplyDelete(my personal hoof theory is gecko pads. Definately gecko pads. And no fur -- they have lizard skin aside from their manes. It's true! n.n)
fainted like a fan girl... that made me laugh.
ReplyDeletealso that was an amazing display of laziness. I always thought i was lazy but this is impressive. Truly that was impressive and i would applaud you but that requires way to much work so you get a yay.
HELL YEAH!!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry, but this is a really cool story, for all that it needs some proofreading.
This is hilarious. This story seems to actually portray a reasonable reaction to being in Equestria (at least I think so). It's comical and also introspective. I love it, five star!
ReplyDeleteEeyup, thats how i would probably react if this happend to me.
ReplyDeleteAlthough i'd wonder how to operate a smartphone with hooves (and what i should do if the battery runs low).
For the name: Firebreath seems fitting ^^
Looking forward for more.
Yes. Def need more chapters to this. Well written and very very humorous! Looking forward to more!
ReplyDeleteI never was a fan of a human being turned into a pony. I have not rated it though as that would be unfair, as I have not rated it.
ReplyDeleteNice work. Can´t wait for more.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for reading my attempt at pony comedy! It was a of fun to write and only involved a small amount of alcohol!
ReplyDeleteThat said, here is some responses!
Lafter was purposefully spelled the way it was.
No, I don't personally wish to be a pony someday.
Feel free to speculate/suggest names.
And if there's to be a ship (which I do not plan on at all) it will certainly NOT involve the protag. Cross my heart, hope to fly.
DO WANT DO WANT DO WANT MOAR :D!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI still vote Firewall as the name.
ReplyDeleteIt works with the shield cutie mark, References something of Earth not found on Equestria but not a term that is too alien to apply literally in Equestria either.
Plenty of fire referential names but no others that go with the shield. Only other one I can think of is a bad pun: Ignite (Ig-Knight).
Well, you asked :P
Anyhoo, love the story.
Lol i also have that exact same RBD shirt he talked about. and i had RBD as my wallpaper for a while, until today when i changed it to princess luna for some reason.
ReplyDeleteThis is really funny^^
ReplyDeleteHope you make more!
I Vote for Firewall!
ReplyDeleteIt really does make sense as a name, and it matches his cutie mark really well.
Now, I simply have to offer a serious critique, if only to help you improve your writing skills.
First, watch out for the run-on sentences. Read the sentence out loud, and any time a thought ends or a new one is interjected, add a comma or a period.
Second, remember that everything that occurs in a story must occur for a reason. Don't add unnecessary details that neither add to the setting and atmosphere nor provide any foreshadowing. And don't add any elements that don't pertain directly to the story, no matter how cool you think they are.
And third, and this is a huge pet peeve of mine, always, always, always remember to provide a description of the setting any time you move to a new scene. You don't have to overboard with details, but remember to take note of all the senses. ( For example, in the way you described the inside of the library as smelling of old wood and paper. That was a nice touch.)
If you would grant me the privilege, I would love to proofread your story for you. My email is [email protected].
It was a pleasure to read, and I look forward to more chapters. 4 stars for the first chapter.
This is so wonderfully meta! A plus for you, good sir.
ReplyDeleteWhy does everyone keep insisting that RD is cyan? She's not cyan, she's sky blue people! The current background is cyan. (sorry little rant over ;P)
Well, thanks to multiple versions of colors spread among the magical place known as the interwebs, she is definitely sky blue half the time, one hundred percent of the time! :D
ReplyDeleteWe need a pic of the protag! I want to see it.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had one! Sadly he is only conceptual. :( If anyone knows a good artist willing to work one up for cheap (or for free!) I would love to see him come to life. :D
ReplyDeleteWow, love this story 8D
ReplyDeleteWell written with a good character!
Hope to see more :3
Chapter 2, but... It won't let me in!!
ReplyDeleteSorry everyone! I forgot to change permissions! XD I hope that's a common mistake, because I feel exceptionally embarrassed.
ReplyDeleteWHEN IS THE HUMAN GOING TO DEMONSTRATE THE INHERENTLY WICKED NATURE OF MAN? MOAR MISANTHROPE GRIMDARK PLZ
ReplyDeleteHe's not a monster and this isn't Fox News!
ReplyDeleteYay Ch 2 must read!
ReplyDeleteLOL I just noticed that the author re-edited Part 1 to add "black" to the list of human skin tones, presumably after my half-serious "ANGEL'S FOOD CAKE WHITE! DEVIL'S FOOD CAKE BLACK!" rant. Well good lookin out. You're aiight wit me, CardsLafter. *fist bump*
ReplyDeleteYES!
ReplyDeleteNew update!
This is seriously one of my favorite fics already, even though you have only made two chapters. But hey, I'm a sucker for human-in-Equestria themed ones anyway.
Still though, 5-star from me!
"let me know if I might be doing someone you think is wrong"
ReplyDeleteReally? Doing someone?
So it's one of those fics, is it?
Meh. What the hell, it's that time of night. Play on!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Bronode
ReplyDeleteYeah, I wasn't entirely awake when I wrote those Author's notes... But hey, that's what I wrote them there for! XD Thanks
Reading Ch.2...
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome, no other words are needed.
ReplyDeleteEnjoying the fic so far!
ReplyDeleteThe brony's internal monolouge continues to entertain. He's a fun narrator to follow, I'll say that at least.
The idea behind the antagonist intrigues me, I'm glad it's not going to be just no-name-given walking around ponyville. Still, I hope you're careful with this and make sure there's a good reason why it's after him. It's kinda like... I don't to read about the brony who was transported to Equstria because only HE could stop this new threat. Perhaps whatever force sent him to Equestria also supplied him with the capability of driving of the nightmare? Or perhaps that's just a quality of humans, that they can do that? He can fight it because he was transported to Equestria, not nice versa, I hope.
... has the nightmare even got the right guy?
Loved seeing Celestia. If you're as much a fan of her as no-name is, then I hope sincerely that she'll be sticking around and playing a real role in the future. The bit where Celestia's light revealed his true shadow was brilliant, great image to end the chapter on. However, he and Twilight already discussed humans, is he going to have to repeat himself? And will Celestia have any answers?
Yes, chapter 2 is up.
ReplyDeleteI was very surprised Celestia didn't know what a human was, but I was glad she didn't. Stuff like this enforces the fact that she is a powerful pony, but still a pony, and should not be irrationally feared.
Somebody mentioned the name Firewall, which I thought would be perfect for your character, if you choose to name him, but that's just my opinion.
Can't wait for more.
This just keeps getting better and better keep up the good work. cant wait till Celly sees a smart phone of course i think she would call it black magic :)
ReplyDeleteLove the humor in this story, keep it up :D
ReplyDeleteHave Celestia temporarily show his human self, as if surrounding him with an illusory copy of his human body. That would keep him from having to repeat himself. Plus it's a great image to start the chapter with.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, name him Firewall.
I am your dedicated fan, from now into eternity. Unless you include lesbian shipping in your story. Then I'll just have to kill you.
This is funny and very easy to read. Keep working on this and you'll have yourself an awesome story that a lot of people will appreciate!
ReplyDeleteThis is shaping up to be a fun and cool adventure. Exactly the type I like to take the edge off the grittier stuff the fandom puts out. Looking forward to the next chapter. Keep er commin Lafter!
ReplyDeleteHmmm... Now you, the author, have challenged us, the readers, to give the ever so sarcastic main character a name. Fair be it, I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE! So, now comes off a fire round (Hur hur) of possible fire related pun names!
ReplyDeleteSpitfire- I know its already taken, but it just seemed appropriate seeing his abilities. (And hey, what better way to get an in with Rainbow Dash than to 'borrow' her idol's name? ...probably alot more appropriate ways, but I digress.)
Black Sooty- Meh, just popped in my head, thought it would just kinda be funny for good 'ol Pinkie Pie to offer in passing.
Blazin- Not so much a clever pun, just an actual suggestion
Fire Light- Mentions fire, (NO? REALLY?) and the fact that he's the protaganist.
Emphysema- Smoking's bad, m'kay?
Pyro- Short, sweet, and to the ever so obvious point.
Flamer- More painfuly obvious fire puns, AND a reference to his (and everyone's) inner troll.
Burnt Ember- Running out of smart ass puns, so have another real suggestion.
After Burner- I dunno, seems fitting to his wanting to ship with RD and his troll side.
Grey Smoke- Another smoking pun. *TrollFace*
Well... Thats all I could think of off the top of my head, so please (or not) take my suggestions into consideration.
...hmm I dont think I said suggestions enough. Suggestions suggestions suggestions.
looking forward to part 3 surprisingly
ReplyDeleteHis mark is a frickin flaming shield.
ReplyDeleteWhy SHOULDN'T his name be Firewall?
Wow Pinkie Pie being replaced by a rock? Well I would give you something No-name vs. The Nightmare. I will give you some credit I would like to see No-name with a name later on.
ReplyDeletei love this! write moar!
ReplyDeleteGreat start! Can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteThis unnamed pony.
ReplyDeleteHe reminds me of my self.
Apart from smoking; I really don't consider slowly poisoning the very organs I require to survive a terribly brilliant idea.
@MihailK
ReplyDelete"I don't do it because I like it, I do it because I'm addicted."
Being a quitter myself, it's a much harder habit to kick than anyone could possibly believe without having tried it themselves.
To hell with cigarettes.
ReplyDeleteThe protagonist should've had a bag of weed on him. Burn one with Pinkie, then eat all the cupcakes in Equestria.
Ah, you went the evil-magic-bent-on-ruining-him-or-summoned-him trope. Admirable as hell.
ReplyDeleteI loved the prose. Even during the intense action sequence, I worried shitless for dash, and I was scared for the others too. You managed to keep it tense, but still had his personality brimming.
I have to admit that... he obviously isn't mary sue. But he's still surprisingly level headed. I loved it when he had his equivalent of losing his shit at pinkie and could only respond with "Um." that was priceless.
Also, your Pinkie is on the list of Pinkies that do NOT annoy me, and that I enjoy reading. The other two? Ebonmane and Butterscotch Sundae.
MOAR PLOX
ReplyDeleteI have my suspicions that the author is TinWhistle in disguise.
ReplyDeleteYou're doing wonderfully so far.
ReplyDeleteYou'd have to careful and let the mane cast be more part of the scene (the scene felt at parts too centered on the protagonist in terms of physical actions), but boy, am I hyped about the next chapters! I love your humor, and your attention to canon detail! I can't wait for more ^^
@PlaceHolder
ReplyDelete:o? Who?
Also, Tosxychor, I think you're right. The other ponies are there for a reason and I don't need to take the easy way out by making it all about No_Name.
And yes, I am trying to stay true to canon because you know what? Those ponies have a huge following for a reason and changing a winning strategy just doesn't make any sense to me.
Lawls and facehoofs around XD. Keep it up, this is to me top tier entertainment. I don't know how I'll bear the wait till the next one.
ReplyDeleteI am having the most wonderful time reading this. MY GOOD SIR, YOU AND ME HAVE EVERYTHING IN COMMON. the only difference is the fact that the Yin and Yang thing goes better with me and my sister, she would be "Lafter" and I would be Soic. ;)
ReplyDelete@Jack Knife EDIT: It's wierd too, I wear darker colors and facehoof at my sisters goofy actions a lot (Which BTW I'm older) and she wears lighter, more cheerful colors than me. But we have our alternating moments.
ReplyDeleteONE MORE THING: Yin is the darker side of the Taijitu, and Yang is the lighter side. Just random trivia ;)
ReplyDelete@Unknown; DURR I'm NOT OLDER, I'M YOUNGER! DURR
ReplyDeleteShit this stuff is good i found it so funny.
ReplyDeleteThis story is fantastic and funny and other f-words. I can't wait for more installments, it's so entertaining! :-D
ReplyDeleteOh dear. I'm not sure how many Mareboros it's going to take for No-Name to get through this little interrogation, especially if it's done Pinkie Pie-style.
ReplyDeletea name aye? hhmmm...
ReplyDeleteooo! i know, firefly. not only is it relevant to his ability (well, minus the "Fly" part) but it was also the beta name Rainbow dash before that name was scraped due to copyright issues.
the beta name for Rainbow dash* (seth needs to add an edit function for comments...)
ReplyDelete@Lafter
ReplyDeleteGuy who wrote Imposition, a Human in Equestria fic; Good fic, awkward ending.
I might be a terrible judge of character, but I thought your writing style was a much milder version of his in that fic.
@PlaceHolder
ReplyDeleteI read that fic! I will admit, his was much better, focusing more on detail and general thought process instead of humor.
I will also admit, it was his idea that all ponies have magic that allow them to interact with objects. It just made so much sense I couldn't put it out of my head to formulate something more original.
That said, no, I am that person but I totally endorse his fic. It's more practical and less humor intended than mine but try it anyway.
But yes, awkward ending indeed. XD
@Lafter
ReplyDeleteThought process is humor.
Maybe ponies have these microfiber hooks on their hooves that allow them to grab objects.
But then they'd be able to scale trees like a gecko would.
You don't have to answer, but do you have your ending planned out?
Hmmm a name, maybe something that has to do with Ash? IDK
ReplyDeleteBut honestly, this and the halo crossover are the only fanfics I've actually thoroughly enjoyed. Must have part 3!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOh, for the name, I'd love something with Ember inside! It fits the coat color IMO. Maybe something like Ember Shield, or Ember Blaze ^^
ReplyDeleteI'm not that that person*! ... We really do need an edit post utility...
ReplyDeleteAnd as for an ending, not specifically. I have events lined up and am often struck with ideas that I put in whenever I can and I have the general idea thought out, but nothing solid.
It's what makes it enjoyable for me, the process of unrestrained creation, that is. The freedom is rather refreshing compared to other, more planned out writing projects. :o
I'm aware that the quality suffers
Damn, mistouched on my phone... Anyway I know the quality suffers somewhat, but it's not a serious story. It's something to laugh with and enjoy. :)
ReplyDeleteBecause I'm Lafter and I'm the best medicine!
Note: consult your doctor before taking Lafter. Lafter is not for everyone and should be taken with care!
I am really excited to read the next chapter!
ReplyDeleteIf you ever need a southerner to check Applejacks drawl, i'll do it. And if this story ends with "an then i woke up", i'll be real mad.
ReplyDeleteMan why cant i stop laughing this is gold :D
ReplyDeleteI didn´t consult my doctor before taking Lafter, and i thing i overdid it. What do i do?
ReplyDeleteI don´t know why, but every time i hear Only Time by Enya i think of Celestia. I can´t take it off my mind.
ReplyDelete*Lafter side effects*
this is the funniest fanfic ever!
ReplyDeleteWords cannot express how in love with this story I am.
ReplyDeleteMMOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
I agree with RainbowDat, do want moar of this hilarity! :D
ReplyDeleteJust started reading this fic today and loved it so I was hoping that the 3rd part would be up soon. Look at that! Already up! :D
ReplyDeleteAwesome story, but I have one thing to say. At one point, he's gonna blab to everypony about EQD. HE'LL TELL OUR SECRETS!
ReplyDeleteOh man, the "I can picture it now" scene. And the Twilight cutout. And the Equestria screwing with you thing. And all things Celestia. Completely hilarious, and also quite deep.
ReplyDeleteThis may have been a placid chapter, but it was entertaining and well-made nonetheless.
Be sure to pack a little more action into next chapters though! I'm looking forward to it ;)
Also, (how could I have forgotten?) NoName going on the verge of unconsciousness for every little (or not) thing, including the letter to Celestia!
ReplyDeleteOh man, I can feel you, that's just exactly what I would do. Keep up the amazing work man.. I mean, pony! ;)
I like the interactions, you're creating. It has a certain 'I can so see myself being that ridiculous' to it. I also can't wait to see how our hero plans to explain "television show" to whomever he winds up telling.
ReplyDelete-Moonlight Ballad, Bard of Equestria
Well, the whole sensation of him getting thrilled over ponies is bound to get old...
ReplyDeleteSo I have something planned. Something big. I only hope it is well received...
I'll do my best with it, at least...
~ Lafter
well nice job so far.
ReplyDeleteI'm enjoying this a lot more than I thought I would, but luckily I'm not enjoying it more than I should. Because it's really good :)
ReplyDeleteMan this keeps getting better. I could not stop the sympathetic smiling all chapter.
ReplyDelete-By the chapter subtitles can I assume you are going for 6 chapters?
-I have no Idea how the protag's eventual meeting with Fluttershy will play out without him actually suffering cardiac arrest.
"P.S. Please tell him to stop shaking like that, I’m about to bust out laughing at him." God Twilight must have been crackin up like heck to insert that.
ReplyDeletePart 4 needs more time devoted into it!
ReplyDeleteI need to satisfy my addiction!
I do have to say this is one of the better, if not the best, human-goes-to-equestria fanfics I've seen yet.
ReplyDeleteInteresting point about the days being 12 hours long.... that would follow, wouldn't it, with the day and night being absolutely equally divided. (But what about summer and winter? shuddup, brain, I'm readin' pony here.)
A little heavy on the "cartoon physics" explanations... not one of my favorite tropes, that... but bearable.
FIREWALL! YES! perfect name! twenty bonus points to the one who suggested it!
ReplyDeleteThis is a blast to read through. There needs to be a chapter where he sits everyone down and explains how he knows everything! That would be hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI cried manly tears. Manly tears of pure joy.
ReplyDeleteOh, Ye Gods! I laughed MORE as I read this third chapter!
ReplyDeleteSomeone make the cover picture accurate tot he story for God's sake. -_-
ReplyDeleteThis is amazing stuff! AND it updates regularly :D
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, I didn't read the precious letter to Celestia.
ReplyDelete~Good Guy Greg
This fic is just so good. Lafter's an excellent writer :)
ReplyDeleteThis is just a fun read. As far as a name goes, I can't shake "Ash." Just think of the Pokemon jokes! THE JOKES, MAN, THE JOKES!
ReplyDeleteThis is excellently written... For some reason, you remind me of my friend Anthony. Do you happen to be of that name and remember a certain Matthew Visinski?
ReplyDelete@commanche105996
ReplyDeleteThat is not the case, my good brony. :o Although if you're mistaking him for me, he must be a pretty handsome... rugged... sophisticated piece of work. ;D
@Lafter
ReplyDeleteIndeed. He is a rather good friend of mine, so it would take me by surprise be he a brony. Also, main character sounds like him. Right down to family details. Uber spooky.
about time part 4 came along
ReplyDeleteYes! The pic is from No-Name, right?
ReplyDeleteyes its no-name
ReplyDeleteD'aww he's adorable... Reading 4 now.
ReplyDeleteYay, chapter 4! Had so much fun prereading it.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Lafter? Luna's supposed to be pure as a delicate flower, you macho pig :(
Innocence + Internet = OH HELL...
ReplyDeleteGotta admit, you've got me hooked.
-Moonlight Ballad, Bard of Equestria
i thought you said humans are not monsters. this entire plot is based on the idea that our knowledge will corrupt an utopian equestria
ReplyDeleteNot just the internet. but ALL of the internet. at once.
ReplyDeleteNot ALL humans are monsters. I think he's more concerned over Luna discovering bronies :3
ReplyDelete... Screw Storm Wing.
@Tast
ReplyDeleteI agree fully.
I thought that she was looking at p**n or something like that. That was my first thought
ReplyDeleteSOOOOOO
ReplyDeleteyou have a career as a writer? or did these thing happened for REAL?!
b_b!
She just absorbed the internet?
ReplyDeletewell you know what they say. "The price for omnipotence is insanity."
The last thing we need is for ponies to discover the dark side of this fandom. Rule 34, clopfics, grimdark... Good Lord, if Fluttershy discovered her apparent folly in Fallout: Equestria...
ReplyDeleteI'll have to doomsay this. I'm sorry but there's stuff on the net that even HUMANS should never be exposed to! Poor Luna. All I can see is scene in The Fifth Element where Leeloo is learning about WAR.
ReplyDelete-Moonlight Ballad, Bard of Equestria
Can't wait for chapter 5. This is a very good read. Also, absorbing everything that GOOGLE can give you? Poor Luna. No more spoi,ers.
ReplyDeletewouldn't be the first time the internet made ssomeone go insane
ReplyDeleteThat was pretty intense. When I got the part where she absorbs the phone I just gave out a low whistle.
ReplyDeleteThat is several thousands of magnitudes more information then any one person could possess without going insane.
Not to mention how most of our history is extremely violent... and she would also learn about the MLP show.
Like I said, you would be insane for 100 different reasons all at once.
XD Okay, the GREAT and POWERFUL Trevor is SO reading this! After the paragraph about Clac with music playing, that got me hooked! (Actually paused in the first chapter to type this, lol.)
ReplyDeleteAlso, a note to the author: If you ever want somepony to help pre-read for grammar, just look me up, okay? I'm always willing to lend a hoof!
This just got epic.
ReplyDeleteWhat? Smoking In Ponyville?
ReplyDelete... Wow.
ReplyDeleteI have to say, i'm impressed. That title is surprisingly meta (HUMANITY through the eyes of another pony, anyone?) and... the tags finally make sense.
I can see this going on for 10 more chapters or ending in 4-5. And yet, I'd be totally fine with either.
Keep on writing brony, this is a great fic you got here.
Also, 4chan is enough to scar anyone that isn't used to it. let alone someone with a purely innocent mind that doesn't know the tragedies and evils of human history. I can't really imagine what's going on in her mind. At all.
LUNA ABSORBED THE ENTIRETY OF THE HUMAN INTERNET AKA WE ARE FUCKED!
ReplyDeleteLuna absorbed the Interwebs....
ReplyDeleteLuna ABSORBED the Interwebs.
Which means the Chans, Spacebattles, and everything.
She Absorbed the Interwebs.
Equestria as we know it is doomed.
Especially when she gets to the Cupcakes.
Oh GOD PLEASE help me! I'm going to die! XD I'm VERY Bipolar, so my mood can go from really happy to really sad REALLY quick, and I almost DIED when I read number ten of the things that went through your mind in ch. 1! XD Oh man, I'm going to pass out form lack of oxygen! XD I'm sure that SOMEPONY just groane dout loud from the 'lame' joke, but I just wanted to say that you made THIS brony almost die of laughter, so... XD WOOHOO! You'd make Pinkie Pie jealous if you can manage it! I mean, come ON! Making somepony pass out from laughing too hard, having so much fun?! She's TOTALLY be like 'No way! Somepony else can do that?! AWESOME! Tag-team PAR-TAY!' or something like that! XD
ReplyDelete*After the chapter*
... XD Oh man... This TOTALLY has the comedy tag on it! XD Oh MAN! I am going to DIE reading the other three chapters! XD I don't normally enjoy self-insertion THAT much, but this is just... I DON'T KNOW! XD For once, the GREAT and POWERFUL Trevor is speechless! (Aside from the gasping for breath from laughing so hard! XD)
Oh goddamn I can't wait for the next chapter seriously.
ReplyDeleteLuna is going to be off at the funny farm for a while.
On the plus side think of it. She just essetally turned into a living google engine.
i cant stop laughing! luna playing angry birds! thats hilarious!
ReplyDeleteUmmmmm, honestly, the idea of Luna wandering around with the entire internet in her head sounds like some dark $%&^. If it's only what was currently in the phone's memory, that would be much better.
ReplyDeleteIf it is the whole internet, they should definitely take that out.
I STILL can't stop laughing! how in Equestria do you manage to pack so much comedy into this?
ReplyDeleteWell that's it, comedy is over. Luna loses her mind, (she may be a goddess, but think: ALL of 4chan at once), Celestia will probably be very pissed, and when no-name finally wakes up, he may that he would be better off dead.
ReplyDelete@Lucki Poni
ReplyDelete'Tia is more understanding of that, and all the guards saw him try to stop her. I don't think it will be that bad.
But it will still be bad.
Luna absorbed the internet.
ReplyDeleteOH CRAP.
@Nocturna
ReplyDeleteI thought the EXACT same thing when I read it. I can't wait to find out what happens to Luna now.
XD Oh WOW... AWESOME line... BEST. LINE.
ReplyDelete“Sorry, I don’t think I could get along with you for a thousand years,” BAM! SMARTASSED! OH YEAH! I’M NOT EVEN WINDED!
XD I Was TOTALLY thinking the same thing RIGHT before I read it! XD SCORE! The GREAT and POWERFUL Trevor is a Smartass too! SCORE! 8D
*After finishing the chapter*
Princess Luna has the internets?! We're screwed... So long, and thanks for all the Ponys! *Prepares to die*
How did she even do that?!
ReplyDeleteDammit no-name you should have stopped her or interrupted that spell, cause now there is a pony that knows everything about Humanity and most likely will do something stupid with it
Luna absorbed the internet that means that she watched Two Girls and One Cup.
ReplyDeleteOh God the humanity, or in this case the horsanimity.
I'll channel No-Name here for a bit to answer some questions...
ReplyDelete"Ahem. Yes, well. We all know the dire implications of stuffing the Internet into a pony. I mean, dear sweet Jesus, the very thought would keep me up at night.
Now, I know we should all probably panic and place bags over our heads. Nah, I'm kidding, peeps! It's just a goddess pony! What's she going to do? Throw the Moon at usOSHI-..."
Well, now that you know his thoughts on the matter... :D
well.... this is gonna get weird... er
ReplyDeleteI have a random, somewhat relevant question: Where does Celestia get all these huge beefy pegasi to work as her royal guards?? All the other pegasi in the world are light and slender.
ReplyDelete-Moonlight Ballad, Bard of Equestria
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAfter finishing part 4, I can only assume Luna must have seen 4chan after she "read" all the information from his phone.
ReplyDeleteThat poor soul, she will be insane within minutes if she even sees half the stuff on /b/...
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! XD I agree chapter 4 is a work of hilarious art. If Luna absorbed EVERYTHING on the internet i'm sure she'd be dead for multiple reasons. I don't care how much time you give her but her brain is NEVER recovering from a shock like that. (my mind is now utterly confused with a mixture of emotions at the same time that goes as follows XD / =/ i'm so lost.....) All in all this is a great story and I can't wait till the next instalment. X3
ReplyDelete@Sing
ReplyDeleteThose armor plates they wear may be for decoration but they sill weigh 80 pounds. That would be quiet a workout.
You're in a land of happy ponies and YOU DON'T TURN ON YOUR MATURE FILTER?
ReplyDeleteReally? Man, No-Name, ya dun goofed.
wait she absorbed Equestria daily she *read* this story about her reading this story. nice Luna, you created a rip in space-time.
ReplyDelete@SingForTheMoon
ReplyDeletenot entirely, the football bullies are quite beef
Okay, CardsLafter, so here's the thing: we are now FOUR chapters into the story and your protag still doesn't have a name. Just effin name him already. After all the other side elements you've set up, leaving the name of your character so late in the game is no longer suspense-building, it's just friggin' annoying.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, Luna just did something monumentally stupid and I'm not sure I like where this is going. Be careful. The story's been very entertaining so far, but you're treading uncharted waters here. This is the point where, depending on how you handle it, the story either loses it's entertainment value or becomes monumentally epic. It's up to you. Tread lightly.