[Grimdark]
Author: The Descendant
Description: Equestria has fallen, and life for the ponies and those who they had protected becomes one of hardship as the land loses its magic.
Yet, there are rumors of a vicious pirate, the Purple Mare, and all she is doing to liberate the land. Outside the city of Port-au-Prance that mare, Twilight, waits as a familiar ship approaches...
The Purple Mare: Chapter I
The Purple Mare: Chapter II
The Purple Mare: Chapter III
The Purple Mare: Chapter IV
Additional Tags: This will buckle your swash!
44 comments:
Buckle my swash!? My swash was unbuckled!?
ReplyDeleteOh my! How embarrassing!
Pirates, huh? Sounds interesting. I'll give it a looksie.
ReplyDeleteFirst (j/k second)! Sounds interesting, might give it a shot later.
ReplyDelete@Aesahaettr
ReplyDelete(j/k fail)!
But really.. i have not seen many pirate fan fics.. ill give it a go
XD The GREAT and POWERFUL Trevor can't see how he can't NOT read this! XD ONWARD! TO GLORIOUS BATTLE! YEAAAAAAAAAW!
ReplyDelete(And I agree with Sweetie Belle! My swash was unbuckled?! That is HIGHLY embarrassing!)
@The GREAT and POWERFUL Trevor
ReplyDeleteSo, you're not reading it, then?
Heck, I didn't even know I had a swash to unbuckle! What else have I not been told!?
ReplyDelete@shibboleth
ReplyDeleteFor one thing, your family members are actually kitchen appliances. Also, you owe me fifty bits.
Pirate Ponies?! Intriguing! I'll have to remember not to unbuckle my swash anymore, though...
ReplyDelete@shibboleth
ReplyDeleteHay, wait a second... You?! You owe me 20 bits, you cheating card shark! (XD Couldn't resist, sorry.)
@Aquaman52
Mayyyyyyyybe... What's it to you? XD
(Technically... Yes and no. I PLAN to read it, but sonce I'm not, atm, reading, or have read any of it, it's true that I'm not reading it! XD HaHA! You can't trap me with my own words!)
I guess this isn't the worst "but it was all a dream" cop-out ending I've ever seen, but it still feels like a cop-out. It's like the author couldn't decide if he wanted a grimdark world of oppression and defeat and only a sliver of hope for the future, or a pretty much okay world where goodness prevails, so he hedged his bets and went with both even though they're kind of diametrically opposed.
ReplyDeleteI guess having Celestia just magically watching an alternate reality explains away things like how cats managed to kill a couple of immortal goddesses at whose merest command the sun and moon rise and set, if you just write them off as built-in assumptions of a magical thought experiment. But it also cheapens all the drama and struggle of the characters we do see in the magical thought experiment that they're not actually real and their suffering is literally the creation of the whims of a deity.
So, I guess this would've worked better if it wasn't basically Celestia reading grimdark fanfiction as the frame story.
@ToonNinja
ReplyDeleteOh, I already knew about that. It explains a lot when I tell others about how my father was toaster and my mother was a blender.
...Aaannnnnnddd about those bits I owe everbody, uh, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?
*points randomly and runs like hell*
@shibboleth
ReplyDeleteWhat?! *Turns to look for just a second, before turning around again*
CONFOUND HIM! After him! The GREAT and POWERFUL Trevor will not tolerate this! NOPONY makes a fool of the GREAT and POWERFUL Trevor and gets away with it! *Epic chasing music starts playing form the middle of nowhere*
@shibboleth
ReplyDelete*I, Pinkamina Diane Pie trap shibboleth*
That reminds me, you still owe me 400 bits from that time I baked you 400 muffins. Pay up, or I will make you. PINKIE PIE STYLE!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, do I smell a Scooby-Doo styled chase scene coming on? I think I do. Jinkies!
ReplyDeleteYou'll never catch me! Muhahahahahaha! And it's not cheating, it's just thinking outside the box!
@shibboleth
ReplyDeleteBut I just said that I already caught you! Honestly, do you even listen?
@Pinkamina Diane Pie
ReplyDeleteMy grandfather was a second-cousin to Houdini, and I distantly inherited the ability to escape from inescapable traps. Oh, and card tricks. That,too.
...I have an interesting family tree so far, don't I?
I'll have to give this a read considering the only other Pirate ponies I can find are OC Air Pirates in Skies of Equestria or that porno in Progress: Luna vs Threesome.
ReplyDeleteIf equestri falls I would put in place a socialist government. :D
ReplyDelete@shibboleth
ReplyDeleteYes, but I am PINKIE PIE!!! That means I win no matter what.
@Pinkamina Diane Pie
ReplyDeleteMmm... yes, that may be true, but I know your weakness!
HEY, LOOK IT'S RAINBOW DASH DRINKING COKE SUGGESTIVELY!
*points randomly and runs like hell but turns around for a second just in case Rainbow Dash is actually drinking Coke suggestively, then goes back to fleeing*
@shibboleth
ReplyDeleteNah. I myself am not particularly interested in Dash right now. Muahahahaha! You'll never find my weakness! NEVER!!!
Damn, the shipping chart lied to me!
ReplyDeleteCan I interest you in another ship? Perhaps, the S.S. Twilight or S.S. Fluttershy?
...Fine, you know what? Here's your filthy lucre. The cupcakes weren't that great anyway. Too much Rainbow Dash in 'em.
I'm still not paying anyone else back though.
@shibboleth
ReplyDeleteThey were muffins. Besides, I don't make muffins out of creatures. Only cupcakes! I make muffins with love and chocolate. So much chocolate.
@shibboleth
ReplyDeleteOh, and thanks for paying me back!
Oh... then where did I get the cupcakes? I do remember the muffins I pilfered from you, but I also had cupcakes that I took from somewhere else...
ReplyDeleteAnd are you 100% sure you're not confusing chocolate with blood when you're making muffins instead of cupcakes? It's an understandable mistake I make all the time.
Also, does Fluttershy know you make cupcakes out of creatures?
@shibboleth
ReplyDeleteDid I say creatures. Oops! What I meant was I make cupcakes out of sculptures of creatures. I usually carve them out of chocolate, or pack flour together like a sandcastle. Yes, I'm absolutely sure that the chocolate is not blood, because it's always either powder or solid, and I buy it from the grocery store. I have receipts if you wanna see them. And quite honestly, I have no idea where you got the cupcakes. Maybe, someone who was a meany pants counterfitted them. I don't know!
Not to question you methods, but... nevermind, whatever works, I guess.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I did not know cupcakes could be counterfitted. Do they make cupcakes molds and put them in ovens shaped like printing presses?
I'll need to find if I decide to start a cupcakes counterfitting ring. First, cupcakes, then muffins, then cake, then pie and all of the other baked goods! Muhahahahahahahaha!
...Or not. I'm not actually that evil. Just evil enough to cheat at card games and the occasional con job.
@DPV111
ReplyDeletePfft, air pirat -- WHAT? What was that last part? ... Hm... Kinky #@$%, I like that.
Cop out or not, it worked for me.
@shibboleth
ReplyDeleteYes, counterfitting baked goods is a very real and very serious crime in Equestria today. I'll have you know, though that each and every Pinkie Pie baked good is 100% legal, approved by Princess Luna and Princess Celestia, and grade A. That reminds me, Derpy is stopping by later to deliver my weekly supply of sculpting chocolate.
@Pinkamina Diane Pie
ReplyDeleteWhat does Equestrian law say about stealing, cheating, and conning? Where are some good places for a hideout, if one where to say running from the cops? Also, how escape-proof are the prisons?
...No reason, just curious.
@shibboleth
ReplyDeleteIt depends on what kind of stealing, cheating, and conning you're talking about. Usually stealIng'll get you in for a day or two. Trixie cons regularly, and doesn't get in trouble with the law. Cheating usually goes unnoticed, but that's because most ponIes only cheat in board games. Through my experience, I've found it ridiculously easy to escape prison during countless encounters. Of course all of these things depend on who you are and what you've done on what level you've done it on. If you want, I can teach you to escape from prison.
@shibboleth
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you about hideouts though. I don't really have or know any. I just turn invisible whenever I want to hide.
@Pinkamina Diane Pie
ReplyDeleteThanks, but I'm sure I'll manage. I have a PhD in Prison Escaping. Unfortunately, there is no one is my family who can turn invisible, so I can't do that. I do remember now that I have a brother-in-law who is a dragon that I could blackmail or bridge to let me hideout in his cave 'til the heat dies down.
Typo fix- Bribe
ReplyDeleteTypos are the bane of my existence.
@shibboleth
ReplyDeleteAlrighty! I guess You can contact me if you need any more help. Also, if you can remember, I would appreciate it if you could tell me who it was that sold you the counterfeit cupcakes. I need more recipes for my counterfeit cook… I mean I need to help track down that criminal scum!
@Pinkamina Diane Pie
ReplyDeleteOh, and I think it's hilarious how nearly 3/4 of the comments are you and me arguing/talking about schemes to break out of prison and whatnot.
Had been pleading for someone to portrait Twilight as the bad ass she is, and darn this does the job. >:3
ReplyDeleteThank you to The Descendant.
This was awesomely fun to read. :D
@Pinkamina Diane Pie
ReplyDeleteIndeed, I noticed it as well. It has kinda got outta hand.
It started with one off-hand comment about pirates and grew into epic proportions. I would just check up occasionally in between my sketching, thinking it would have ended long ago, but here we are. At least it was more entertaining that the troll arguments I've seen dominate some comment sections on this site.
...But sadly I am ending it here. You have your bits, and I have successfully escaped from my other debt collectors. I didn't really win or lose in the grand scheme of things, but at least I had an interesting dialogue. Oh, and several new plots and a new diverse family tree.
And, yeah, I remembered it was Trixie who sold me the cupcakes.
@shibboleth
ReplyDeleteOkie dokie lokie! Thanks for the help and the conversation! It was pretty fun!
Shouldn't this have the [Adventure] tag ?
ReplyDeleteI really like this story and this alternative grimdark-fantasy world that you've built up to account for everyone suddenly being pirates but the way you cut short the start of what could have been a great adventure in the 4th chapter stopped me from giving it 5 stars.
ReplyDeleteI honestly do hope there's at least a 'what-if' spin-off of this that continues this story. My favourite moment was probably conversations between applebloom and spike.
i gotta do all of this with twilight? Like i don't get enough of her already? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....
ReplyDeleteThis was awesome!
ReplyDeleteI really, really liked the ending in particular.