• Story: Peripeteia (Update Part 12+13!)

    [Grimdark][Crossover] SLENDERMANE... Tonight is horror night, hope your ready for it!


    Author: Odd Ranger
    Description: An otherworldly figure steps into Equestria, and already things take a turn for the disturbing. The girls try to investigate a rash of disappearances and reappearances of foals, but soon discover something far more dark and terrifying in store. Something big. Something involving the return of a nightmare. Something that will change their world beyond recognition, turn it upside down beyond anypony's control. Except, perhaps, for the tall one in the dark suit.
    Peripeteia Prologue
    Peripeteia Part 1
    Peripeteia Part 2
    Peripeteia Part 3
    Peripeteia Part 4
    Peripeteia Part 5
    Peripeteia Part 6
    Peripeteia Part 7
    Peripeteia Part 8
    Peripeteia Part 9
    Peripeteia Part 10
    Peripeteia Part 11
    Peripeteia Part 12 (New!)
    Peripeteia Part 13 (New!)

    Additional Tags: Slenderman, Twisted, Nightmare Moon, Darkness, After the End

    67 kommentaari:

    1. Looks like I'm not sleeping tonight!

      VastaKustuta
    2. Boy... we'll crossover ANYTHING with ponies, won't we?

      VastaKustuta
    3. GIMME 20 DOLLAZ

      VastaKustuta
    4. If this is even HALF as good as the other Slendermane story it should be awesome. Unfortunately I need to sleep tonight, so I'll read it later.

      VastaKustuta
    5. Yeah, sleep is a nice thing to have, so I think I'll check it out when I wake up in the morning.

      VastaKustuta
    6. IT IS YOU'RE NOT YOUR.

      VastaKustuta
    7. Grimdark time already?

      Oh boy, my favorite time of night! I'll read this as soon as I have time... and become tired.

      VastaKustuta
    8. No Incomplete tag or Complete tag?
      So its neither finished nor unfinished?

      VastaKustuta
    9. @Gavin
      http://bit.ly/nDNTxf
      I listen to higher powers, sir.

      VastaKustuta
    10. Eh...its okay.

      Overall, the writing is fine, a few sentences need revision, but there's nothing wrong with the diction or syntax. However, the narrative voice is disjointed (all the sentences in parentheses are unnecessary and horribly jarring) and the story seems to be going downhill too soon and there's not much build up, especially for a Slenderstory. As is, I'm not feeling any tension or suspense.

      2/5, but could work its way into 4 or 5 range with some work.

      VastaKustuta
    11. NOW I NEED SAMUEL L JACKSON TO READ ME A STORY SO I CAN SLEEP

      VastaKustuta
    12. Requesting samuel jackson to do the audio book of this fic!

      VastaKustuta
    13. Oooh. Two of my favorite things. Ponies and Slendy man.

      But, the truth is, all he wants is 20 dollars.

      VastaKustuta
    14. Tall one in the dark suit? Sounds like Anonyponyus.

      VastaKustuta
    15. Nice, Slender Mane and a new Marble Hornets in the same night! Time to not sleep.

      VastaKustuta
    16. Being an avid MarbleHornets watcher, this is absolutely cute.

      VastaKustuta
    17. Hey Seth, this isn't showing up under "Fanfic only" view.

      Might need that fixed

      VastaKustuta
    18. @DJ Midli thats not gunna help but the lulz would be worth it

      VastaKustuta
    19. NO WIFU IN THE CLUB, GIVE 20 BITS, GIVE ME 20 BITS

      VastaKustuta
    20. He just looks so happy in that picture, it's hard to be scared xD

      VastaKustuta
    21. Is the writer greek or does he know greek?

      VastaKustuta
    22. I just read through Ch.5 on deviantART. Is the writing supposed to be so laden with typos and bad formatting in some places? It does capture the whole "reality is screwed" vibe, but I can barely understand the storyline!!

      I m3An, it no sEnse!
      ShadOwsHaDoWsHAdow
      makes

      VastaKustuta
    23. It sounds like Slenderman's due for a date with Pinkie Pie. He won't last long against her, especially with friends with her to help her Giggle At The Ghostie.

      VastaKustuta
    24. Judging by what I've read in the fanfic, Slendermane is the thing that hides under your bed and goes bump in the night, and when it switches to his thoughts, it's as if he's not some monster, but someone that genuinely cares about children.

      SIngasOndof6PAPOCITFUllofReye

      VastaKustuta
    25. Somepony give him 20 bitz!

      VastaKustuta
    26. So my original comment was deleted, but it fell along the exchange of currency.

      VastaKustuta
    27. itcomesitcomesitcomesforus

      h13oref2w dq23o yu2 da23o

      Mqswdy CHwdilllllldr@@@@@@n

      VastaKustuta
    28. After having to completely leave the Paranormal side of the internet at the hands of Marble Hornets, would this be a recommendation? I still love the SlenderMan Mythos (even if it scares the sh*t out of me).

      VastaKustuta
    29. Needs a story tag, it doesn't show up under /fanfic/ atm.

      VastaKustuta
    30. Oh come on, the Slendder man thingaaamajig cant bee bad that
      ajfkadslj;fa sd
      'asdj kasdlkfasjf ioae
      afsdk
      sathioh dododododododogohgodohgodohgod

      akl;fjaldk;fjhalkjitsreal nokiddialkjhdfasjhdfs

      hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhelp memkfaksjdfbasdlkfadskljHELP
      A
      DKFL;JDKJFDSAKJLTHERES
      KFLASDKJFASISNMNOOEHAESL;SKLDHELEHELPEJHEKLAHFDKLJSA


      AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALSKHJALKHDJFATHE


      NIGHTERKLJTARLWEKS
      ADLKFAHJFLK;ASSHALLDSFASF
      ASD;LASTRKHJEKJHAJKHTERJKAH
      ASFSADKFJALFKJADSLKFJASLKDJFOREVERRRRRFOREEEVERFOREVERFOREVERAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

      VastaKustuta
    31. Author, I beg of you,BEG OF YOU to PLEASE not make any o the mane characters die, that is the only thing the really turns me off from a story like this, please!

      VastaKustuta
    32. Before I start, is it complete or incomplete?

      VastaKustuta
    33. I want more. Nao.

      VastaKustuta
    34. HE'S CLIMBING IN YO WINDOWS
      HE'S SNATCHING YOUR DIAMOND TIARAS UP

      aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh. I've never actually watched Marble Hornets but this is distinctly exciting in a scary way. More please.

      VastaKustuta
    35. GODDAMNIT, I WAS JUST ABOUT TO GO TO SLEEP!

      VastaKustuta
    36. This has 5 chapters, you know.

      VastaKustuta
    37. @Lilfut

      I'm glad I'm not the only one to notice this. I wonder when the links are going to be posted. xD

      VastaKustuta
    38. Hide yo kids, an' hide yo dollarz, cos he's snatchin' everypony out there.

      Oh, and hurry up with the story already! From what you hinted, it looks like Nightmare Moon vs Slendermane is just around the corner.

      VastaKustuta
    39. Hide yo kids, an' hide yo dollarz, cos he's snatchin' everypony out there.

      Oh, and hurry up with the story already! From what you hinted, it looks like Nightmare Moon vs Slendermane is just around the corner.

      VastaKustuta
    40. THANK YOU ALL!

      @KouThan
      Nope. I did, however, go on holiday there just after Chapter 5. Just got back from it, in fact.

      @Anonymous August 3, 2011 4:41 PM
      You have my word.

      VastaKustuta
    41. @Odd Ranger
      Just asking because Peripeteia (Περιπέτεια) in modern greek means adventure but you are probably using the ancient term that originated from ancient drama.

      VastaKustuta
    42. @KouThan
      Really? That's pretty cool. When I picked Peripeteia as the title, I was going by the definition 'reversal of fortune'. The reason will become clearer with the next few chapters.

      VastaKustuta
    43. The picture isn't very creepy, SM is too well defined and visible. If he were in the background, a fuzzier outline, blurrier face, and deep in shadows it would get creepy.

      VastaKustuta
    44. I think the SlenderMan was inspired from that character from Billy & Mandy

      VastaKustuta
    45. The prologue was so cheaply written it's laughable. Protip: using the present tense annoys a lot of people and often feels like a gimmick. Don't use it.

      Secondly, I'm only a few paragraphs into the first chapter, and I've spotted a mistake.

      "National Book Day is on Friday, and everyone has the right to a good."

      Don't you mean "everypony"? Only the most sleep-deprived Brony of Filly makes that mistake so early on.

      VastaKustuta
    46. ^"using the present tense annoys a lot of people and often feels like a gimmick"

      Noted, though it's the first time I've heard that. When other people start complaining too, I'll gladly adjust it.

      "Only the most sleep-deprived Brony of Filly makes that mistake so early on."

      I have indeed been sleep deprived, and I've just added the word 'book' so that the sentence makes sense. But couldn't she be saying that ponies AND other species have the right to a good book?

      VastaKustuta
    47. @Anonymous
      Actually, Slenderman existed for hundreds of years. He first appeared in drawings found in Brazilian caves, where the drawings date back to 9000 BC.

      VastaKustuta
    48. http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfdxi2Cu3e1qfans5o1_400.gif

      For those who need a brain cleanser after reading this.

      VastaKustuta
    49. ^...Okay, that was pretty funny.

      VastaKustuta
    50. Maybe I like this just because I have a bias towards liking Slenderman. I even just ordered the Marble Hornets Part 1 DVD. X inside the O, those who know, will be my bro-ny. This is a pretty badass fanfic also.

      VastaKustuta
    51. NO WIFIN IN THE CLUB, GIMME 20 BITS!

      VastaKustuta
    52. I had never heard of the slender man before reading the summary a few weeks ago. Now, after looking it up online, I wish I never had.

      Why do I always find the most terrifying of things so late at night? And does anyone know how to keep one away? I'm so terrified that I'm thinking just thinking of it will summon it into my room to kill me!

      VastaKustuta
    53. Ehhh... It was off to a really good start but it devolved into too much humor starting in chapter 3 with the Shadow Bolts showing up and then Trixie's arrival in Chapter 4.

      It had allot of fear and tension but then it broke it with too much comedy.

      VastaKustuta
    54. Not really looking like much of a horror story at this point (at least not as much), but after seeing chapter 6, I think this has potential to be awesome in an entirely different way.

      VastaKustuta
    55. Huh, if this is half as good as the other Slendermane fanfic then awesome..I'll read it some time later today...

      VastaKustuta
    56. Read all 7 chapters. The first 4 are the best and kept me extremely interested. But it slowly went downhill after that. 3/5 Good read still.

      VastaKustuta
    57. Well apparently I'm a chickenguts, because this is certainly unnerving me. It doesn't help that a storm rolled in while I was reading, either. ;_;

      VastaKustuta
    58. I find this fic more confusing than anything. I can see it's not just "Pony version of Slendy terrorizes Equestria" but rather this is OUR Slenderman who has for some reason only comprehended by it (like everything it does) chosen to traverse realities to mess with Equestria and has found Nightmare Moon interesting enough to directly communicate and ally with. What's really confusing me is that Slendy doesn't seem to be the same form twice. He can be pony form or human form, but when he chooses either doesn't seem to have any consistency.

      But what irks me is that he's even found Nightmare Moon within his interest. Is she really that signifcantly greater than a mortal pony to be considered a viable ally to Slenderman? Sure, she seems to be purely made of magical energy and is the split personality of a goddess, but she's not exactly divine at this point, whereas Slenderman exists on a different level of reality than her and fundamentally changes the laws of reality with his very presence. Why did he need her to learn anything at all? As far as anyone knows, Slenderman is capable of knowing anything and everything at any given time.

      There's obviously something else going on here beyond what we can see, but that's just par for the course when it comes to Slenderman mythos. His motivations and intentions are incomprehensible until you see the results of the things he does, so until the story concludes we are probably not going to know what if any purpose he has for Nightmare Moon. I seriously feel like he's manipulating her and she has no say in what happens next.

      VastaKustuta
    59. Eonsig: Just to clarify, this Slenderman is in a human(oid) form the whole time, sorry if I didn't make that clear or if I typoed somewhere. Other than that, your third paragraph conclusions are completely correct, and there is a significant amount more than meets the eye. There are more revelations coming, some of which will probably annoy people, but this story was written for shits and giggles anyway.

      VastaKustuta
    60. well im stuck on chapter 7 for about 2 weeks, not because i dont understand(well alittle...alot) but im too scared to read the rest, you pretty much went far off the Slendermane vibe for me,interesting though, i thought this was going to be grimdark but it turned into an adventure!

      well ima try and read the rest just because ive read so much i dont want a cliffhanger roaming around the back if my head, but not right now because for some ungodly reason i decided to wake up at 4 in the morning, read The Empty Room and then come here to speak my mind bout this story, so im going to read this tonight cause right now its 5:58am and im pissed at myself already, good day to you sir! -rant over

      VastaKustuta
    61. this made me discover slenderman. not the endermen in minecraft, although that contributed to my curiosity. This was the main factor though

      VastaKustuta
    62. Few thoughts about this fic.

      1) Slenderman in Equestria is a nice touch, though I expected SlederMANE, not Slenderman. Hope you could bring some light on how he (or it) came to Equestria (or not. You could just brush it off as "It's MAGIC, bitch" argument, though it's just D:)

      2) Not getting that much horror vibe as I anticipated. After Chapter 5, it was just straight-out adventuring, which was D: at first, but turned out OK for me. Would it be possible if more of Slenderman(e) mythos could be added in the future installments? For example, before they face NMM after the Baronesses are defeated would be a nice spot.

      3) Seemingly soulless soldiers ARE soulless children???? OMG!! I nearly screamed out of my chair when I read it. Then again, it's a grimdark for a reason, isn't it? Wonder what other surprises awaits me?

      4) Not much Grimdark material. There are some off-screen (off-paper?) moments of Grimdark, but not as much as, say, PonyNoir (though anti-Pinkie Pie's theatrics before Mane 6 was a nice touch) Will expect more ACTUAL grimdark in the future (like kill off one of the side characters or something, IDK).

      5) Smart Trixie is a best Trixie. You, sir, made me a Trixie fan with this fic, though I should confess that I read few Twixie fics before this one. I didn't notice her anti-Mane 6 thing before she pointed out. Still, more character development would be nice. :D

      6) Question: Do you follow Marble Hornets? I ask this, because some writing style observed in the fic seems like Marble Hornets video styles put on paper and, if you do, I must say you are great at doing exactly that whenever Slenderman(e) shows up or referenced.

      VastaKustuta
    63. I love this.
      Needs to be said. I love this.

      VastaKustuta
    64. i love this, i hope a new chapter comes out soon. However if it's still going i can wait because it's amazing and theres probably something more important happening than writing a fanfic :3

      VastaKustuta