[Shipping]
Author: Bookman230
Description: Applejack reevaluates her feelings for a certain Pegasus.Pacing of My Heart
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Additional Tags: Heartwarming, realist, lovely, complex, engaging
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Author: Bookman230
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
Additional Tags: Heartwarming, realist, lovely, complex, engaging
Sildid: Applejack, Author: Bookman230, Celestia, Everypony, Fanfiction, Gilda, Incomplete, Rainbow Dash, Shipping, Star-4, StoryShare This!
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24 kommentaari:
Moar shipping! WE MUST SHIP EVERYTHING.
VastaKustutaAGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.
4 chapters, no comments?
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaI think it's just barely being posted.
I was wondering when this was going to be put on Equestria Daily. I remember reading it on Deviant Art a while back and it's pretty good.
VastaKustuta@Delta Pangaea ... so i see this is your first fandom?
VastaKustutaI've only read the first chapter so far but, Jesus f*ck the plot happened as fast as a bullet
VastaKustutaNeeds to be edited better. Tense changes and lack of detail about the story in certain places are pretty distracting. I do love a good AJ Dash ship though :D.
VastaKustutaNeeds to be edited better. Tense changes and lack of detail about the story in certain places are pretty distracting. I do love a good AJ Dash ship though :D.
VastaKustutaI've only read the first chapter so far but, Jesus f*ck the plot happened as fast as a bullet
VastaKustutaFirst chapter and... filly, that was shocking fast as artillery payload.
VastaKustutafeels pretty rushed at some points but overall, I'm glad I read it.
VastaKustutaSHIP SHIP SHIP KGO
VastaKustutaRushed and, in a cute way, tripping over itself. A short sweet tale with little to no character development and a very rudimentory rom-com plot line.
VastaKustutaUsually I would say that this feels a bit rushed out of the door and that I can't really feel for the characters that much. However, character development being mitigated by the fact that we already DO know them to a large extent (albeit not canonically on this level) and more importantly by the fact that we just need MOAR APPLEDASH I say HURRAH DAMMIT.
VastaKustutaI hate all this damn shipping crap.
VastaKustuta...Curiosity killed the cat.
The writing wasn't great; the pacing of the story was too fast and there was very little detail. Furthermore, each chapter seems to be focused around one problem or challenge AJ and Dash are trying to overcome, but these are resolved far more quickly and easily than they should be for a good narrative.
VastaKustutaThat said, this story was adorable and I thoroughly enjoyed it. A story doesn't have to be especially well-written to be cute and fun, and this is a good example.
@Rauzu
VastaKustutaThis. I haven't read much yet but it feels very rushed and the wording's a bit clunky IMO.
I personally think the key to a good shipping story is carefully planned-out characterizations and plenty of reasoning as to why one character should be with another.
VastaKustutaThis story just felt rather forced and unrealistic.
Keep practicing though! Anyone who dares display their work in a public setting has potential to write powerful stuff.
Oh lordy I love this. Especially that last chapter. Good to see Gilda in a positive way. <^_^>
VastaKustuta@Delta Pangaea
VastaKustutaShip! Ship all the things!
Honestly, I didn't like this as much as I thought I would. Its alright I suppose, but it almost seems like it is leaning on AppleDash being a common pairing to sell what is going on rather than presenting the characters in a way that would justify what was going on.
Seen it this exact same story done better many times before. I'm not asking for a novel here, but I am asking for you to make yourself stand apart from the crowd...
VastaKustuta@Anonymous To be fair this was written months ago, the author just was nervous about getting it posted here. And now he's having writer's block for more chapters, sadly.
VastaKustutaSo they are gey.
VastaKustutaI NEED THIS TO LAST LONGER
VastaKustuta