• Story: Karamel (Update Part 7+8!)

    [Crossover][Shipping] I'm pretty sure heterosexuality doesn't exist in Ponyville at this point.



    Author: The Unnamed Pawn
    Description: When the night sky fills with glamor, a lovely story awaits you. Welcome fillies and gentlecolts to the Golden Playhouse. Tonight's story is Karamel, an unconventional romantic horror. A stallion with a certain curse has a terrifying week. Our hero in this story is Big Macintosh. He's a quiet and hardworking colt, but one day we begin to see him have terrifying nightmares. On top of that, a torrent of sweet seduction sweeps down upon him. Will he be able to work his way out of the maze known as love?
    Sorry to keep you waiting. Raise the curtains. Now enjoy the show.
    Karamel Part 1
    Karamel Part 2
    Karamel Part 3
    Karamel Part 4
    Karamel Part 5
    Karamel Part 6
    Karamel Part 7 (New!)
    Karamel Part 8 (New!)

    Additional Tags: Big Mac, Atlus, Catherine, Caramel, Love

    58 comments:

    1. I KNEW this would be coming at SOME point...

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    2. Also, this game was just amazing... I actually just got done playing a bit just a couple minutes ago. B)

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    3. As soon as I saw the description, I knew I had to read this. Catherine was awesome.

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    4. @Anonymous

      Nevermind, I see it now. Derp. That game does look good.

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    5. @Infusions

      Did not mean to reply to myself. Double derp.

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    6. I am starting to question the sexuality of all the fanfic writers...
      It's getting much harder to convince others that straight men watch this show.

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    7. Sure, there's heterosexuality in Ponyville! Lunamac, Macintwi, Macdash... umm... Oh! The Cakes are heterosexual! And married to boot!

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    8. @KShrike Yes, other than, of course, the copious amounts of lesbian shipping in this fandom. It's hard, real hard.

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    9. @Anonymous

      I'm guessing you looked it up? Basically a horror/puzzle/adventure game dealing around the themes of relationships, commitment, and infidelity. It's incredibly unique.

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    10. Is this a Caramac fic or something else I'm confused

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    11. @KShrike ... you are aware that bronies aren't just men, right? And that a lot of women are fans of m/m, including yours truly?

      Yeaaah.

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    12. NVM I answered my own question enjoy your Caramac shipping... I'll be reading elsewhere

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    13. @D'Artagnan Rossfeld

      The Atlus game released last week. "Catherine"

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    14. @Infusions

      I also notice you rocking a Sissel picture. I think we can agree a lot in game taste just from this.

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    15. Everypony in Fim is bisexual..so all shipping is correct! THE END!!!!

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    16. @Infusions

      I read the reviews a few days ago. I just didn't catch the reference in the fic description until I saw another comment. Yeah, it does seem incredibly unique. I doubt I'll actually buy it though. Puzzle games rarely hold my attention for long. Maybe once it drops in price.

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    17. Well, I think we can all agree: Equestria is doomed. Completely doomed. Slim to none will ever be born to this generation at this point.

      But CaraMac is soooooooooooooooooo sweet!

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    18. @Anonymous

      Well if/whenever you decide to get it, I assure you the story is very interesting.

      @Josh

      Haha, you think so? I LOVE me some Ghost Trick! B)

      You could always confirm that by glancing at my gaming backlog:
      http://www.backloggery.com/gizzahmo

      ;)

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    19. CLIMB OR DIE!!!!!, (or run or die in this case...)

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    20. I thought authors made OC stallions to actually have a heterosexual story, guess I was wrong. But I'm glad the bronies accept everyone.

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    21. Hmm . . all right, you have my interest.

      (not at all familiar with the game, btw. Still quite intrigued by chapter 1)

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    22. @Homfrog why does a MYST crossover sound cool but boring

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    23. It amazes me how people can write fics for so long in which nothing happens. You're a good writer, but it took a looooong time for this story to go anywhere, and I can't even look forward to the next chapter because it will probably be full of secrets and lies and miscommunications.

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    24. What is it with people that can't read tags?
      And poor Big Mac...

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    25. [Crossover][Shipping] I'm pretty sure heterosexuality doesn't exist in Ponyville at this point.

      Just like what happened in SoCal Furry Fandom. For real.

      "We salute you, Bronies! If it weren't for you, Rainbow Dash would still be straight!"
      -- fake Bud Light commercial on YouTube

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    26. @Punchline
      Could have fooled me with all the constant gay shipping.

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    27. No straight ponies, eh?
      https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kYwrXREKh1VGf7mMrhpKvu-Urw3y-ebsa2ba0kQdj4Q/edit?hl=en_US

      Everyone knows Dash is straightest pony.

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    28. "Vibrating", that's perfect. Never take Pinkie out drinking.

      This chapter feels a little more haphazard than the first, switching around to a lot of little things in quick succession. I do like the introduction of Rainbow Dash, though.

      Ohsi, dat ending. @_@ Even though it happened in the other crossover fic, so did not see it coming! I will continue to read and enjoy.

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    29. @Present Perfect

      I'm afraid this is going to be how the chapters progress from this point. I couldn't think of any other way to incorporate the other customers/sheep.

      Also, Anon, I can understand your complaint, but you have to understand that I'm kind of constrained by the story itself at this point. After all I've still got five more chapters at least for this thing.

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    30. @The Unamed Pawn

      I know I'm (kinda) your rival with this Catherine Crossover, but... You're doing quite good. Damn Good...

      But my question to you is - are you going to up the Grimdark-ness? 'Cuz I was planning on making mine a lot darker than it already is.

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    31. @gillnavisingh

      I was actually going to try and avoid grimdark as much as possible. For instance you'll notice that while the Caramel specter was trying to "kill" Big Mac, its teeth were smeared with cake rather than blood.

      Plus I plan to avoid real-life death altogether. I just can't bring myself to actually kill in the my little pony universe.

      So in closing, I'm sure mine will end up being much less dark than yours. Also, thank you for the compliment.

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    32. @The Unamed Pawn
      Well, I guess this means we have two dinstinctly different audiences then!
      I look forward to reading part 3 of yours - and I'd like to invite to read the new second part of mine. (Direct link in the first part - until Seth updates the page)

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    33. Big Macintosh, you are a very irresponsible pony. >:| Caramel's lack of forthcoming about his boutiquely activities adds a whole new layer to this! The addition of Film Reel and his whole scene are great.

      And I know you're just following the ideas from the game, but it's like these nightmares are a virus, they're getting passed around during the daytime from talking to others. That's so neat. Kind of surprised Big Mac's not figuring out who these sheep are at all. Ahh! Whoa, and it gets creepy at the end.

      Aww, poor Breezy. D: Oshi, pink glasses is Silver Spoon, how did I not see that? At least I'm better at piecing things together than Big Mac.

      I noticed a couple slips out of pony-speak, as it were (hand, salesman). But the interwoven plotlines are progressing quite well and there's a lot to enjoy. :D Looking forward to the next part!

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    34. Hello everypony. I would just like to apologize for my rather terrible memory and apparent near colorblindness.

      As a result of them conspiring against me something I intended to be obviously telegraphed has failed miserably.

      I have gone back and altered the sheep with pink glasses. She is now the sheep with purple glasses.

      Once again, I apologize for being such an idiot. :P

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    35. I gotta say, I'm really enjoying this story so far, and it's making me curious about playing Catherine. Though from what I've seen of Catherine, there is one major difference that sticks out to me: in the game, Vincent seems whiny and has obvious commitment issues with his girlfriend, whereas Big Mac doesn't seem to have any of these issues with Caramel. That's not necessarily a problem, though. If anything, it makes me root for Big Mac even more, because he truly doesn't deserve what's happening to him, and I'm curious as to just what the heck is going on with this other character Karamel. In short, good job. Good sense of mystery, and it has me rooting for our main character. Eagerly awaiting more.

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    36. @The Unamed Pawn

      Okay, maybe I'm reading this wrong. When you're talking about pink/purple glasses, are you talking about the color of the lenses or the frames? Because for some reason, I had that sheep pegged as Vinyl Scratch this whole time.

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    37. @Anon 8:57

      I was talking about the color of the lenses and you were right to assume it was Scratch. I just recently noticed that her lenses were purple rather than pink thanks to present perfect's post causing me to look back.

      I was afraid I had confused people with my poor memory. I'm sorry if the alteration actually caused more confusion.

      @8:55 Anon

      I found that sort of thing happening alot while writing this. The characters didn't fit nearly as well as I might have hoped so drastic plot alterations, such as Caramel leaving town, had to be made to keep the story moving along the right path.

      I think it just makes it more interesting though. Now it's not too much like the game.

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    38. @The Unamed Pawn

      I agree. I love the way Big Macintosh is being portrayed here. It makes him a stronger protagonist.

      I haven't actually played the game yet, but from what I've seen of Vincent, just yikes. I think he's the main thing that's keeping me from playing the game so far, though I do intend to check it out eventually.

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    39. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    40. To be honest Vincent really annoyed me alot throughout the course of the game. That just speaks volumes for the writing though because by all rights I should've hated Vincent, but somehow I actually ended up not just understanding his predicament but actually liking his character.

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    41. Grayamina? Not, say, Inkamina? She seems a little... bland, though I suppose that could be intentional. Does not make for riveting dialogue, however. In fact, the scene in the bar feels really stilted because of the way she's acting. Why isn't she doing this herself, or at least participating?

      Honestly? It feels like a video game. "Go do this because you're the hero." Moving blocks aside, I haven't gotten that vibe from this story up to this point.

      Err, "shook hands"? No. There's a lot of going back and forth and bizarre dialogue in the bar scene; I feel like the quality of this piece has gone way down since it started. For sure, there's a lot of typos and other simple errors abounding.

      So the sheep in the green hat knows who Big Mac is? I thought they were all unaware of their identities.

      Ohh, hmm, Vinyl Scratch? Maybe not Silver Spoon, then. Oh, I see what you did, having read the comments.

      Chapter 5 was a real drag, but chapter six is juuuuust making up for it. Things are finally moving forward... Hah, where does the dream end? Wonderful! The quality remains worrisome, but I will continue to follow this.

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    42. Might I have your email address for the sake of proofreading the final two chapters Present Perfect? You seem to be the most helpful critic here after all. At the very least I'm sure you could help catch my failure to use the proper pony puns.

      Grayamina is actually from my first fanfic, the bonus case in Twilight Sparkle Mare Attorney, and as I explained there when I created her I didn't know she already had a fanon name. So I named her and Pinkie's other sister Grayamina and Blueberrie respectively rather than Inkie and Blinkie.

      She doesn't do much this story, but she is little more than a plot device. I'd like to expand on her a touch more, but that will have to wait until later chapters roll around. If you'd like to see her personality expanded a touch more go and read the previous fic I mentioned.

      Your video game complaint is fair. I'll admit I stretched in Chapter Five, but I needed the conversations at the bar and I was running low on excuses to have Big Mac walk around. Chapter five was the lowest quality to date, and I was worried it might come across as such. Luckily the final three chapters move away from the set pieces a bit more

      Also you're complaint about the sheep in the green hat is simply solved. You've got to realize that all of these sheep more or less know eachother. Remember how Big Mac said "Eeyup" in chapter four when he was talking to the sheep?

      The only reason most of the sheep haven't noticed is because they aren't quite as perceptive as the sheep in the green hat. Plus they haven't been given many very clear hints about the identities of their fellow sheep.

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    43. Nice. Very Nice.
      Unfortunately I'm still looking for a Title Page artist for LiO... And the next four chapters are still undergoing heavy revisions...

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    44. I can accept that about the sheep; I did forget about him saying ee-yup in the dream, and that makes sense.

      And I'd love to help you out with edits, but I really can't, I've got too much on my plate as it is. The last guy who wanted me to edit his fic... never got it, because I have no time for it. I feel bad; I'd like to, but I'm sorry, now's not a good time.

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    45. I understand and I don't mind. I'll just need to be sure to proofread these last two chapters extra well.

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    46. That was a fantastic ending! Thanks for your efforts, Unnamed Pawn. I enjoyed the fic from start to finish!

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    47. You Win.
      I surrender. I can't get the story written fast enough, and besides - no one really liked mine to begin with.

      So congrats, and way to go on the ending.

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    48. There is no winner gill it wasn't a contest. As far as I'm concerned they are two completely different fanfics.

      Also I just had way more free time then you to finish it. Fast enough is really, whenever you happen to get it finished.

      Don't you even think of stopping. I was hoping to read more. I can't wait to see how you adapt the some of the games situations that can't be easily adapted.

      Also thank you to my other fans. I will most likely be writing more, not more Karamel but more fanfiction, so anyone who might be interested in proofreading my next story please post your email adresss in the comments.

      I'm not looking for an expert or anything, just someone who can catch some of the little things I miss.

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    49. Wonderful fic. Ending was lovely.
      Maybe I am a little clueless but it was certainty a surprise in the last 2 chapters.

      So is this the end or do we get more detail or more stories to continue on the current ending?

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    50. This will not be the end of Big Mac and Caramel don't worry.

      All of my stories are going to be part of the same continuity and Big Mac and Caramel will both show up as characters in the next story I'm working on.

      Various other's are planned to make appearances as well (Film Reel in particular) and this plot and the one from Turnabout Triplets will be referenced.

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    51. This story was point blank awesome! Sure, it had some spelling errors and parts that was a bit clunky, but as a story it gripped my attention quickly and I read through all the chapters today with almost no breaks. I salute you!

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