Author: Orange Peel
Description: After the events of "Dragonshy," Twilight Sparkle and Rarity return to the cave. A manuscript buried inside the cave described a brief, unverified ancient history of Equestria.How Equestria Was Made
Additional Tags: History, Origins, Celestia, Luna, OCish
42 comments:
image source please.
ReplyDeleteThat image is awe inspiring to say the least!
ReplyDeleteDat image.
ReplyDeleteWill read!
Will read for image. Badass.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written. I can't get enough mythology-style stories, and this one really hits the nail on the head. TS's notes are a pleasant aid to the 'realism' of the story, rather than a distraction. 5/5 stars.
ReplyDeleteI thought that Pinkie Pie created Equestria by randomly bending the spacetime into a closed loop, leaving an apple muffing at the very beginning of it, so it was able to grow and some bacteria colonies that already contained pony genes thanks to viral induced horicontal gene transfer survived on it long enough until solar dust accumulated to a planet nearby that muffin whereon it crashed and over millions of years, ponies evelved from those ancient bacteria. Then one day, Pinkie was born and somehow able to bend the spacetime and placing a muffin at the very beginning of that closed loop...
ReplyDeleteHm... I think I know the form that Oak'ki took on. :3
ReplyDeleteOh yeah... 5/5
ReplyDeleteVery well written, and just the right length.
The picture, by the way, is awesome! Can we have a high-resolution version of it, please?
ReplyDeleteGreat read, thoroughly enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteIt was definitely an interesting twist how Celestia banished her sister out of her own greed and malice instead of benevolence, and then having the elements cleanse her as well.
5 star all day.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful story telling and creative filling for plot gaps in the mane story made this an exceptional read.
Very good story. The part about the ponies gifting Oak-ki with the concept of Royalty was truly excellent. My only complaint is that the Nightmare came out of nowhere with no explanation; I'd like to learn a little of its origins!
ReplyDeleteThe pinkie implication also made me shit bricks. So much sense has just been made.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSooooooooo.....Pinkie Pie really did make Equestria after all. Cool.
ReplyDeleteI loved everything about this story. Those mythology style tales are wonderful and this one had such a great style. I loved the twist of Celestia having her own issues but being cleansed.
ReplyDelete(Also loved how the rainbow colors of the star inspired Oak-ki just like the sonic rainboom inspired Pinkie.)
"We are star stuff -- which has taken its destiny into its own hands."
ReplyDeleteI felt a Carl Sagan quote applies to this.
I wonder what form oak-ki took and if she is one of the background characters
ReplyDeleteSo when Pinkie Pie told the CMC that was how Equestria was made...she wasn't lying...and that means Pinkie is Celestia's mother....this story is brilliance...
ReplyDeleteAnd that's how Equestria was made!!!
ReplyDeleteSomebody had to say it.
So there's "Mild" Grimdark now? OH WHAT THE FUCK. ಠ_à²
ReplyDeleteGreat, we're gonna see [Slightly-Mild Grimdark] as a tag soon. Congratulations, you've ruined Fanfic tags. Slightly-Heavy Mild Grimdark. You've opened Pandora's Box here.
Thank you everyone for reading it, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. This is my first ever fanfic of any kind that actually made it into text.
ReplyDelete@Edracon and others The image came from http://jackjacko-eponymous.deviantart.com/art/StellarDeities-239851248
@stitch: Other commenters in the thread answered your question. (Another hint is in the list of labels.)
@Rarity-fan: Thank you for the compliment and that was exactly what I was going for!
One other thing that might not be as obvious: If you combine the names of the ages as "Oak-ki'id Oak-ki'il, Oak-ki" (say it fast!) you get a prayer asking for the joy to depart.
Pretty. Damn. Good.
ReplyDeleteThat was good, those tags really don't do it justice. I've avoided [Grimdark] and [Sad] like the plague, but gave this one a try due to some good reviews and it wasn't what I was expecting at all. It fills a few plot holes, isn't THAT sad (Compared to the everyone dies sadfics which I hate), and has a good ending (I felt that it ended in an optimistic note, as we know what happens to Celestia and Luna in 1000 years). As I missed it in both the copyright info and the tags (I'm not a clever pony) it felt great when the subtle hints fell into place. Not sure I agree with it for an overall "How Equestria was made", as that would create almost as many plot holes as it closes, but as the ending to a single fic, that's a nice explanation for her. (Phew, no spoilers, I think. That was hard.)
ReplyDeleteI don't know... Implying that Pinkie Pie is the maker of the Elements when she herself is a bearer seems kind of forced. I think it would make more sense that she would know about it just because of the sheer fact that she is Pinkie Pie.
ReplyDeleteEven so, I didn't catch that tidbit the first time. Wonderfully crafted!
@eaglehooves I'm glad you enjoyed it; this was a fic that was hard to label. Particularly since it was my first one!
ReplyDelete@Wierdplatformer Of course, Pinkie Pie already showed extraordinary power in that episode: notice that unlike the others, she was able to locally dispel Nightmare Moon with "Giggle at the Ghostly". And compared to the more canonical viewpoint, why would the Mane 6 be able to eliminate the Nightmare Moon entity when Celestia (also with the Elements), could not?
I agree with Wierdplatformer's point above about Pinkie, and I also think that implying that Gummy is the norm for alligators in Equestria rather than an adorable exception contradicts canon.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, this was a fantastic origin story.
ooo that was so good it gave me goosebumps!
ReplyDelete@Orange Peel This was your first?!?! Wow...
ReplyDeleteI blatantly refused to read fanfics up till a week or two ago when I felt the need for some new content while waiting for season 2, so I'm a bit new to this, but I was impressed. It's deep, but not depressing (My usual thought whenever I see [Sad]), and I actually chuckled to myself when the realization hit. That's the first time a [Sad/Grimdark] has actually made me feel better (The others have been bittersweet at best). As for Pinkie, it makes even more sense when I think about it, but that would still make her story from Cutie Mark Chronicles a lie, and her shock at NMM staged. It's a great fic and one of the better explanations (As much as you can explain magical ponies) of her actions, but Pinkie being Pinkie is just a simpler and funnier explanation in context of the show. That's just detail canon/my fandon stuff though, I'm still 5 stars all the way!
@eaglehooves The beginning was actually designed, aside from the 'south fork' thing, from The Cutie Mark Chronicles, but using Pinkie Pie's story as a metaphor. After all, if you take it literally, what does rock farming even mean? But if the rocks were shepherded together to form the earth and the moon, they were farmed together!
ReplyDeleteNotice that the very first part of the story, just after the part Twilight Sparkle couldn't read, said that the story just heard -- from Pinkie Pie! -- was metaphorical. The missing part of the story was where Pinkie Pie told the author exactly what she told the CMC.
As to the NMM episode, notice that Oak-ki is not present during the confrontation between Celestia and Luna, so she might not know NMM's name. And since she had said in an oracle that Twilight Sparkle would heal NMM/Luna, it was important that she put together a party to get them together where Twilight Sparkle could not avoid it! So she could be a lot more playful ("Queen Meanie," "Black Snooty") because she already knew the outcome of the story.
@Orange Peel
ReplyDeleteI have to congratulate you on a very well written fic. That was pretty awesome to read, especially since this has been my own head-canon since CMC.
That's the thing with a character like Pinkie Pie -- she's the type that with infinite power would do exactly what she would do without, only with more ribbons.
I wonder if other things about her aren't as they seem. Maybe Pinkie owns Sugarcube Corner and the Cakes work for her. Their interactions being just what you get with a ditzy owner and employees that have come to love their employer as a friend; which is why they end up worrying over her so much (and the business) so much.
@Orange Peel
ReplyDeleteI was right...awesome and thank you for the awesome story!
@Orange Peel Ohh... That's good.
ReplyDeleteI still can't quite take ponies seriously enough to piece together some of these deeper layers, I guess that's what I get for staring out the window at clouds during lit class most of the year. I'd just taken Pinkie's story as cartoon humor at the time, and fanart had made it feel very real.
As for ep. 1, you're right. I thought of her shock as the NMM made her entry, and thought she wouldn't be surprised, as she knew the timing. You did your homework though, and obviously thought it through more than I did. It's just that I can't re-write my opinion of Pinkie Pie based on one fic, even if it is one possibly deserving of six stars. I'd always thought there was more to her than what was said, but no matter how perfect it fits I'm not ready to rewrite my head-canon completely; it's nothing to do with your writing, and it's still enjoyable, it's just that my life is very complex right now, and Pinkie is my comic relief, and I'm not sure I want to think of her that seriously all the time. It's a piece of my head-canon, but doesn't displace the old view entirely.
With my overly long rant out of the way (I can't believe I just typed all that), I'd just like to say how nice it was to chat with you. It's nice you took the time to answer all of us (And sit through some of my longest walls of text ever), I appreciate it. I'd like to offer some useful advice rather than debate head-canon of Pinkie (Everypony will be a bit different, and I'm ok with that), but I'm not much of a writer. Because of that, and the fact my head is still recovering from all the mind exploding revelations (Three, I think, between the story and comments), I think I'll go back to lurking and open up the floor to everypony else. I eagerly await more of your work!
@EDracon
ReplyDeletehttp://jackjacko-eponymous.deviantart.com/art/StellarDeities-239851248
(I LOVE sources ;))
@mycutiemarkisagun
ReplyDeleteDo I see a ''previously anonymous'' angry commentator ?
As for tags, ONLY the already pre-existing tags are used when SEARCHING or in order to CLASSIFY stories around here.
The ''slight variations'' of them are PURELY esthetic.
Nice origin story, good work :-)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete>When Celestial Wings grew old
ReplyDelete-Huh... ah, ok ? So, this is Celestia, right ? ...and ''Oak-Ki'' is some being from space who made this planet ?
>And from the rays of the sun, I wove a small filly
-Ooook ? So... Celestia was made from a sun ray, and isn't Celestial Wing ?
Then, Celestial's only purpose was ''to be there'' basicly ?
Well ? ...humm... It was 'somewhat' interesting, though a bit ''odd'', honestly.
Also : ''Oak-ki'' ? Some sort of Japanese name ?
Kind of wish I'd read this while it was still on PonyDraft, but now that I HAVE read it I can safely say there's nothing I would have improved.
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome stuff. Also, not what I was expecting... which is good. I like surprises.
And I said to her when she was finished, “And of your Sigil of Destiny?”
ReplyDelete“Look up into the sky,” she said, raising her left forehoof. “What is the color of the sky? What is the color of the sun? I gathered the star vapor in great bags to kindle the sun. And that is the Gem of the heavens.”
I missed this on my first read. Only JUST now caught it on my second read...
Sygil = A symbol created for a specific magical purpose, bearing power, or serving as a means to summon a power or spiritual being.
Color of the Sky = Blue
Color of the Sun = Yellow
"I gathered the star vapor in great bags to kindle the sun" = Balloons
I REALLY dropped the ball(oon) missing that on my first read. The "Symbol" of destiny is a set of Blue and Yellow Balloons. And that IS how Equestria was made!
Sorry hadn't been back for a couple of days:
ReplyDelete@Nova25: Celestial Wings was a pegasus pony; she was Celestia's namesake. (If named like Luna, you'd expect something like Sol or maybe Helia.) Oak-ki was more of a joke; since she becomes Pinkie Pie I reinterpreted "okie dokie Loki" as "Oak-ki'id Oak-ki'il Oak-ki" (so, "Oak-ki, the joy will depart") since we all know what happens after Pinkie Pie says that twice!
@Wisdom Thumbs: Thank you!
@richfiles: Exactly! And since it was up in the sky, there was blue on both sides of yellow, at that. As I mentioned above, the part that was missing was exactly what Pinkie Pie told the CMC. I considered elaborating in a Twilight Sparkle footnote how the term for "cutie mark" had changed over time, but I decided to leave it as an Easter egg.
Sisters make universe.
ReplyDeleteSisters love universe.
Sister fights sister for favoritism.
Sister goes to moon for bananas.