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Author: Conner Cohen
Description: When one of her heroes appears out of the blue on a visit to Ponyville, Rainbow Dash very quickly makes the mistake of forgetting a promise she had made to a friend while trying to impress the Wonderbolt, leading to a confrontation between best friends that puts dreams up against responsibility for which should come first, with Sweet Apple Acres' business on the line.Flying By Fire Wire
Additional Tags: Episodic, Comedy, Wonderbolt, Light Hearted
26 comments:
Yay for non depression Dash fictions.
ReplyDeleteHoly crap, that description. It's the epitome of a run-on sentence
ReplyDeleteI helped Pre-Read this on Ponychan!!! If Cohen sees this I just wanna say Im happy you got this far! I knew your story would be on EQD!
ReplyDeleterainbow dash isnt being shipped? FINALLY
ReplyDeleteI really liked this. You captured the feel of a regular episode perfectly. I think Rainbow Dash got off too lightly, but she learned a lesson, and that was the important part.
ReplyDeleteThis was a really fun, but lengthy read. I enjoyed this alot.
ReplyDeleteIt was great, and felt like it could be an episode, but I also agree in thinking Rainbow Dash got off too lightly, and thought Applejack was completely in the right going off on her...still great though, 5 stars.
ReplyDeleteQuite fun and satisfying, thank you!
ReplyDeletelighthearted?
ReplyDelete*looks at Applejack's destroyed farm, her life*
...yeah.
I gotta say, Rainbow Dash was a rather spectacular douche bag in this story, and whats with Applejack apologizing to her at the end? She should've punched her in the face.
ReplyDeleteHey folks, C.Cohen (author) here. Just wanting to say I'm loving the comments here being as honest as they are.
ReplyDelete@ Dubs
Damn, you're right. I better watch that in future. :p
@ Brony2.0
Thank you man, I really learned a lot from you and Vimbert's pre-reading. Some of you guys should have seen the mistakes I made before those two sorted me out. The importance of pre-readers!
@ Popcorn
Thank you, sah. I guess to me, how someone is let off can oft-while be the true measure of forgiveness. However given these stories are supposed to be about morals, perhaps I needed to think on "consequence" a little more.
@ Sindiewen
Yeah, my stories can often extend. This was originally planned at 20 pages, but sort of changed when I got down to the writing...
@ Streek
Thank you, episodic was my absolute intention. Interesting to note the general feelings of everyone on Dash at the end. I'll certainly keep the feedback in mind for anything I write in future. Thank you for commenting!
@ Wierdplatformer
Nice to hear, thanks!
@ Anon
I guess I was thinking "light hearted" in relation to the humour style than the story. The farm wasn't really destroyed or anything, but soaked and hard to work in. However I will bear things better in mind when I tag things in future. Thanks :p
@ Anon
For some reason "spectacular douchebag" made me giggle like an idiot as a pairing of words, love it. XD
I guess what I was aiming for was to show that if someone is willing to come back and right a wrong, it can be possible to forgive and forget to hold a friendship up. However, given you aren't the only person commenting on "getting off too lightly" then I welcome the criticism and will definitely keep it all in mind for future. Thanks for the honesty!
Rainbow breaks open a bag and catapults apples into a farm (Rainbow in the wrong, farmer receives consequences)
ReplyDeleteAJ slips due to mud and catapults even more apples into a farm (Rainbow in the wrong, farmer receives consequences)
Rainbow carelessly kicks a storm cloud into the distance and it stops over a farm (Rainbow in the wrong, farmer receives consequences)
Karma really has something going against poor farmer.
@Anonymous I honestly agree 100%
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't a bad story by a long shot, but after trashing a Library and creating a whole heap of trouble on the orchard, it is a case of getting off far too lightly.
I certainly know if a friend came over and destroyed my house and insulted another friend after putting a serious dent in their business, I'd be rather pissed. :P
Hello all. I recently got into the MLP series and I wanted to say hai :P
ReplyDeleteAnyway... Please, welcome me to the herd :P
I think this deserves the "long" tag, took me 3 hours to read.
ReplyDelete@MLPBronie
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the most awesome phase of your life.
Wow, this was awesome but I cant help but feel sorry for the old colt. I know the pain of not being able to settle downm with a good book afyter work.
ReplyDeleteHey, it made it! Well done.
ReplyDelete@Matrilwood
ReplyDeleteIt's 103k. Not huge by any means, though quite long for a one-shot.
Anyway, I think IMO it's the epitome of a normal fic. Yes is has DRAMA, true, but it's not sad, it's not specifically comedy, and it's certainly not dark.
People say it destroyed SAA...but I think the parasprites did far more damage.
I loved this story, very well done. This should be an episode in season 2 :P. I also love the pic of Rainbow Dash on the Story's page.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Fuzzy
ReplyDeleteOh dear. Just look at that comment's error. I SUFFERED, PEOPLE. I SUFFERED.
I kid, I kid. Hey, I'm just glad I can contribute to some fanfics while I have horrific writer's block on stuff of my own.
This was very good. It really did feel like an episode, right down to Rainbow Dash getting off lightly (I mean, you've seen some of the things the ponies do in the show with virtually no repercussions). The ponies felt like themselves, and it was all around a very good showing.
ReplyDeleteYou proofreaders did miss one improper apostrophe use in a plural, though. Try "a dozen trees" instead of "a dozen tree's". I'm not going to go any deeper into editing advice than that, much as I want to go insane tweaking wordings. I didn't see anything wrong other than that "tree's", though, so good work!
I don't actually think there was anything wrong with what happened in the story. To claim that Rainbow should have been punished for what happened or something to that effect seems to miss the point entirely, as this is a Normal story to the extent that I can see it being used word-for-word as an episode.
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day, everything that needed to be done got done, everypony learned a lesson about friendship, and there was no lasting damage to anything; so why should Applejack hold a grudge against Dash? I mean, hell, if you want to play strictly by real-world conventions, Twilight was basically directly responsible for the complete destruction of SAA (not to mention most of Ponyville) during Swarm of the Century, but I don't see any resentment between her and Applejack in the show. The most Rainbow did in this story was make a huge mess of the library (which happens practically once per episode anyways), break a promise to Applejack and turn the orchard into a mud-pit.
That poor background pony...
ReplyDeleteJust rediscovered this. First fanfic I ever read :3
ReplyDelete