 |
| Source |
[Shipping]
Author: BronyNeumo
Description: In the wake of a fun performance turned dramatic, two mares weigh their feelings for one another. In a sea of internal doubt and external crisis, might two struggling souls meet and find happiness together?
Confessions and Considerations
Additional Tags: Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Shipping, suspense, falling
All Additional Stories After the Break!
[Shipping][Sad] Story 2
Author: BronyNeumo
Description: In the tumultuous sequel to "Confessions and Considerations", the most close-knit family in Ponyville is rocked by loss, leaving one mare to spiral into depression from feelings long pent-up. Can Rainbow Dash rise to her rescue?Google Documents
Grief and Grievances
"Saucy" Version on Deviant Art
Grief and Grievances
Additional Tags: Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Shipping, loss, acceptance
[Shipping] Story 3
Description: Roughly 9-10 months after helping her marefriend out of emotional trauma, Rainbow Dash may face some of her own. Dreams left in question. Futures uncertain. Self-doubt and fear abound as one question surfaces in the mind of a pegasus: "Might I be in over my head?"Transformations and Transportations
Additional Tags: Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Princess Luna,Twilight Sparkle, Big Macintosh, Fluttershy, Applebloom, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Shipping, Birth
[Shipping][Bittersweet]
Description: When the eve of a happy day turns out to be the anniversary of a sad one for a certain cyan pegasus, it appears to be time for her new wife, Applejack, to be a healer. But as they delve into the past, what else might they discover?Google Documents
Memories and Matrimony
"Saucy" Version on Deviant Art
Memories and Matrimony
Additional Tags: Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Big Macintosh, Rarity, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Shipping, backstory, Dashpression
[Shipping] [light-sad]
Description: Applejack and Rainbow Dash may be finding happiness together, but what of their family and friends? While their own relationship blooms, another one grows as well, and it might be a strange little creature who strings Fluttershy and Big Macintosh together.Sympathy and Synergy
Additional Tags: Fluttershy, Big Macintosh, kitten care
[Shipping] Story 6!
Description: Growing up can be hard. But when your two mothers are both elements of harmony and you have twin cousins to play with? It can be downright crazy. Rainbow Dash and Applejack will have to keep up with their growing daughter if they're going to keep her out of trouble. Difficult? Maybe. But that's life with Applejoy!Applejoy
Applejoy Part 2
Applejoy Part 3
Applejoy Part 4
Applejoy Part 5
Applejoy Part 6
Applejoy Part 7
Applejoy Part 8
Applejoy Part 9
Applejoy Part 10
Applejoy Part 11
Applejoy Part 12
Applejoy Part 13
Applejoy Part 14
Applejoy Part 15
Applejoy Part 16
Applejoy Part 17
Applejoy Part 18
Applejoy Part 19 (New!)
Additional Tags: Appledash daughter Applejoy life growing-up
129 comments:
not first
ReplyDeleteOoooooh, another ship. This should be interesting.
ReplyDeleteFavorite Image Ever = Instant Read.
ReplyDeleteJust want to say this is my favorite image ever.
ReplyDeleteLabels: Author: BronyNeumo. Applejack, Cutie Mark Crusaders, ^
ReplyDeletedat period
this picture posted on bronies.memebase.com doesn't make sense anymore: http://bronies.memebase.com/2011/08/05/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-rejectionnnn/
ReplyDeletebookmarked for future read. Can't wait for more of this.
ReplyDeleteawwwww <3
ReplyDeleteThis was a good start (though for what I'm not exactly sure, if only because it almost seems self-contained as is). Nice characterization throughout, and ta particularly clever way of starting the story.
ReplyDeleteMain problems with it were grammatical. Quotation marks in particular tended to be misplaced, but there was also some comma mistakes and some occasional spelling hiccups (of the "used the wrong spelling of the word" variety mostly).
I'll keep my eye on it.
I'm just going to not approve... silently.
ReplyDeleteAnd be a grown up and NOT 1 star it.
d'aaaaaaaw
ReplyDeleteShipping is gross. Can you perverts PLEASE stop making MLP into a sexual perverted "furry" fandom?
ReplyDeleteGod, I hate that.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteNo.
You have two choices. Read this, or don't read this. That's it.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteNope.avi
And not all of it is sexual (I haven't read this one yet, so this does not apply completely but I'm just protesting your post.) sometimes we just want to see our characters fall in love in a good fic. If your protesting applies to the supposed 'sexual deviancy' of two members of the same sex falling in love, I will ignore everything you post in response to this because I don't respond to homophobes.
This is the best Appledash fic I've read in a while, probably ever.
ReplyDeleteThanks everybody who enjoyed it!
ReplyDelete@Techifreak: This story can essentially be called self-contained, but I'm writing several sequels to it.
Also, I do try, but grammar is not exactly my forte. I need an editor, but I have no ide how to get one...
@Anonymous 1:39: No one is asking you to read it.
@Brony Neumo
ReplyDeleteI would be glad to edit your fics for grammar/punctuation issues in the future. Feel free to send me an e-mail at [email protected]
@Tadgh
ReplyDeleteThat you! I should have the first sequel to this done in a week or two!
@Brony Neumo
ReplyDeleteI can't wait! Loved your first one.
Duh, winning.
ReplyDeleteJust ignore the trolls people.
ReplyDeleteAs for this story....I might go read it later when it gets updated. It didn't draw me in though for some reason, and I stopped a bit after "Cupcake Corner" -- was that a mistake? It's supposed to be Sugarcube Corner.
Okay, so, that was amazing. One of the best fics I've read. And you're writing several sequels...Ah love you.
ReplyDeleteGrammet is the only error i can tell you.
ReplyDeleteI felt the the story is really developed for a shipping fic. Hope to read more from you
Don't really read shipping, but this was incredible, two hooves up!
ReplyDelete@Melodia
ReplyDelete/facehoof.
I derped it up... Whoops.
Great stuff :D
ReplyDeleteWould love to read more shippin' from ya ;)
Great stuff :D
ReplyDeleteWould love to read more shippin' from ya ;)
You motherfu- I was gonna go to sleep.
ReplyDeleteEww........that picture is lame
ReplyDeleteEww........that picture is lame
ReplyDeleteEww........that picture is lame rainbow dash had a crush on...applejack?!!!
ReplyDeleteRainbow dash has a crush on......applejack?!not fun
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteWell, so was I. -brohoof-
Love the story, will there be anymore?
ReplyDeleteYes! My account is working!
BRILLIANT!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry for caps ;)
This is one of the best stories I've read so far. The emotional developing of the characters is impressing, the feelings of both of them described perfectly. It is, in spite of the sad scenery, a heartwarming story that almost made me cry by the end.
I would die for another part! Please keep writing!
Ugh! How do I subscribe to this to keep an eye on it?!
ReplyDeleteGreat story on both parts. I give you much applause.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous There is for sure going to be a third part, and maybe a fourth part. Jury's still out on that one though. I'm writing the third as we speak, though!
ReplyDelete@Pony In Chief I believe you bookmark it, good sir! ;)
ReplyDeleteI'll try to make this spoiler free.
ReplyDeleteOkay. First things first, formatting. This one, with its smaller paragraphs, better broken up scenes and indenting for each paragraph, was much easier to read than the block paragraphs in the first one. I also didn't notice any grammatical problems in this chapter, so bravo on that.
On to the story itself: It was quite an emotional ride, this chapter. Though I'm sort of ambivalent about Applejack thinking Rarity would respond the way she did, ambivalence is good. It means you got me thinking.
Much like the play was in the first story, using the ending of the first story as an opening of this one, only in flashback form, was a really clever way of starting things. It drove the knife that much deeper when the funeral came around. Who the funeral was for, and the role that Pony played in the first story, only twisted the knife.
I read both versions of the story (because "Why not?"), and I'm also glad to see that the differences between the two don't cause the "Censored" version to lose much impact at all from the normal one, which is something even Buttersc0tch has problems with sometimes.
If I had to criticize anything, it would be that some of the descriptions are hard to follow.
Specifically, the parts where Applejack rests her head in Dash's mane and Dash responds with a nuzzle to AJ's neck. It pops up twice (perhaps even thrice) in the chapter, and each time it happened I was unable to picture how it worked when they were supposedly standing side-by-side facing the same direction.
Maybe horse necks have more range of motion than I know of, but it doesn't seem like it would be possible the way you have it described.
Eagerly anticipating the next story.
@TenchiFreak5 Thank you, I actually had an editor this time, so I'm glad it payed off.
ReplyDeleteI also was really proud of that opening sequence, glad someone else liked it.
As for the descriptions, well I don't really study horse anatomy, so I wouldn't know how to answer you there. I just assumed she could lean her head to the side...
SO MUCH D'AAAAAAAAAAAAW!
ReplyDeleteI have two major problems with this fic, both related, and a more minor suggestion.
ReplyDeleteFirst, outside of some rather extreme circumstances the words "Please don't hate me" should never be uttered by any character to a friend. This is false drama, because we all know none of the main characters are that shallow. It implies a level of self-loathing that is only appropriate when a character is actually horrified with herself, like (trying to avoid spoilers) post-kidnapping Nyx in Past Sins, or Littlepip just after Arbu in Fallout.
Second, practically the entire conflict in this fic is "oh noes, what if they don't like teh gay?" That's not to say you can't write about characters coming to terms with their sexuality, but basing the whole thing on an implied widespread homophobia rings terribly false. Doubly so when it's their own friends they're worried about -- see previous point. It makes AJ seem like she doesn't trust her best friends to support her, which feels weird... especially after Pinkie's matchmaking.
Finally, on a softer note, in Confessions you dropped Grandpa's opinion on us pretty suddenly, and you just sort of TELL us about it. It would have been more satisfying, when AJ was so confused, to SHOW her thinking back to a couple of specific incidents where he openly disapproved of a couple, versus her own perceptions of similar couples.
lol I want to know moar about why Fluttershy was in the kitchen with the Big Mac!
ReplyDeleteFuck this "RD is a les" shit
ReplyDeleteSHE IS FUCKING STRAIGHT
@MeshMeal
ReplyDeleteProof or STFU.
I love it :')
ReplyDeleteLauren Faust does say that Rainbow's was never considered, so technically Rainbow cannot be labelled homosexual or straight. I am for her being straight, though, not that I'm a homophobe, some of my best friends are gay, but I don't know, I just see Dashy as straight.
Nevertheless, I love this. I love most of the AppleDash stuff.
@TenchiFreak5 WHERE IS YOUR PROOF OF HER BEING A LES
ReplyDelete@MeshMeal
ReplyDeleteEr, no. That's not how it works. Nothing in the show proves her orientation in any way (nor will anything in the show ever prove her orientation in any way, most likely). So based on canon evidence alone, personal interpretations could be made that she could be gay or straight (or, hell, bi). There is no harm done when an author writes a "Dash is gay" story because that interpretation of her character for this story is no less factually inaccurate than the alternative.
However, when you state with a straight face the said personal interpretations are wrong because it is a "fact" that she isn't gay, you need evidence to support your claim. You are making the claim that she isn't when the original author was merely going off the possibility that she is.
Great story. Am looking forward to part 3 when it comes out
ReplyDeleteThere are a couple factors that would make Dash seem gay.
ReplyDeleteMost notable are her rainbow hair and her butch attitude.
This by itself can't prove anything, but certainly does explain and somewhat warrants the lesbian shipping she receives.
@Angel Heart heh, heh, then read part three!
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDelete1. Well, think about the situation from the character's point of view for a moment. Here, you have a Rainbow Dash who has essentially been on an emotional roller-coaster ride for some time (even if she does manage to hide it well under the shell of self-pride), the target of her affections catches her at a weak moment and proceeds to goad and guilt her into revealing her feelings before she is ready. In this instance, not wanting to lie to Applejack, RBD reveals everything in one fell swoop, and for a moment at least, fears that her friend may not feel the same way. I think in this situation, especially when we have RBD stammering to try and make up lost ground, she would say several things (including but not limited to "please don't hate me"), that she otherwise wouldn't in normal conversation, simply because of the uneasiness and stress lent by the emotional gravity of the situation.
2. One of the main fears among most homosexuals in the real world (especially those who haven't revealed themselves yet), is that fear of open homophobia. It would be naive of me to deny the existence of a widespread homophobia in our world (You don't mind if I use you as an example, do you MeshMeal?), and I think, especially because the ponies are so human-like in so many aspects, that Equestria could very well face the same problem of institutional homophobia. Especially in a less-than-open-minded small town setting. For this reason, I think that Applejack, who struggles with accepting herself, would most certainly have a deep-rooted fear of not being accepted by those around her. This fear could certainly include her friends as well, because again, most fears are irrational, and don't require logic to manifest themselves. Conquering this deep-rooted irrational fear is essentially the backbone of Con&Con's plot.
3. I agree, I could have done that scene better, but I wasn't really feeling like going into too much depth when writing it. I got my points off, and that works for me. I feel it flows better this way then it would have had I dragged it out.
@MeshMealThere is no proof of her being a lesbian, and there is no proof of her being straight.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I prefer to think of her as a lesbian because I believe having lesbian characters (especially in a population of roughly 80% females), makes for a more diverse, relateable, and enjoyable set of characters.
Also, this is my story. That means that I can take characters from the show, and as long as I don't change personality traits that are set-in-stone, I am free to use my own personal interpretation. MY INTERPRETATION. Not yours. Mine.
If you want RBD to be straight, go write your own fics. I can assure you I won't read them. I ask for the same tolerance out of you for my beliefs.
@Brony NeumoStop teasing me :( I want to read the third part... Your comment made me refresh the page every 10 seconds.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry! I didn't mean it was coming today...
I'm still writing it. I'm shooting for a release date of the 20th or 21st..
@Brony Neumo Ah ok. At least now I have a date to look forward to^^
ReplyDeleteThis fanfic made me cry manly tears. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteLoved this story. :3
ReplyDeleteSTOP MAKING THESE MEIN KAMF VARIANTS
ReplyDelete@MeshMeal What? Mein Kamf was describing Hitler's troubles in life, and who the cause of it was and ect... this is nothing like that, nor a variation to any stretch of the imagination...
ReplyDelete@MeshMeal
ReplyDeleteCalm down, bro. Remember, love and tolerate. Just because you're a homophobe doesn't mean every piece of literature featuring lesbians is akin to a maniacal dictator's thoughts on genocide.
This series is perhaps the best Appledash fiction I've ever read. Every part was well written. Wonderfully heartwarming with a dash of well-timed and completely reasonable clop there at the end. Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteI'll be eagerly awaiting part 3. Also, if you were to make a Fluttermac spin off series from this, I wouldn't mind one bit.
Guys, Dash has a freaking rainbow coming out of her butt.
ReplyDeleteShe's gay.
Wut?
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's physically possible for two females to have a child. :U
uhm...yeah. this is why I like straight shipping more than gay shipping--it makes sense.
That picture made me laugh, added this to my list of things to read when i need something to do.
ReplyDeleteTaken directly from an article written by Lauren Faust:
ReplyDelete"Rainbow Dash has rainbow-striped hair because of her name and because she is very interested in sports, specifically flying. She is a tomboy, but nowhere in the show is her sexual orientation ever referenced. As we all know, there are plenty of straight tomboys in the world, and assuming they are lesbians is extremely unfair to both straight and lesbian tomboys."
Take it how you will.
@GaruuSpike
ReplyDeleteIt's possible because of Magic. and I don't mean in the sappy lovey dovey sense, I mean literally. They were able to have a kid because magic was involved.
One of my favorite fanfics is also "Out in the Cold" and when i read the Luna scene in part 3 that was the first thing to come to mind :D I'm sorry to say that i still love "Out in the Cold" better, but this is not far behind :D keep up the good work!
ReplyDeletewould love another part aswell so we can see more of Applejoy!
or some alternative Fluttershy-Big mac ship. I like the parts already in this fic, would like to read more about their relationship etc. Thanks!
It's sad to see all the negative comments just because of orientation.
ReplyDeleteI, myself, enjoyed reading the literature for its formality. It is YOUR story.
And about some concerns within the story...
It IS MLP:FiM, It IS a fanfic, and it also has magic. Theres your answer on how "it" happened.
@GaruuSpike
ReplyDeleteSo love only makes sense when the result is a child? Gotcha.
I'm sorta conflicted about this chapter, so I need some time to gather my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI will say two things at the forefront of my mind, though (both of them sorta criticism):
1. I think the dream, though another really good way of starting the story (albeit not as original as the first two chapters), was a bit overly described. Even before I knew it was a dream, the part about clothing in particular struck me as odd thing to go into such detail about, and it stuck out even more when it was unveiled to be a dream had by Dash of all Ponies.
2. I was getting heavy Out in the Cold vibes throughout the chapter (and I immediately caught the "night favors lovers" reference), so I thought it was pretty cool when you said in the author's notes that it was intentional.
I loved Out in the Cold, though I admittedly thought that Chapter 4 was the weakest of the story; and I'm sad to say that I think some of my reasoning for thinking that applies to this chapter as well. That being said, it doesn't "hurt" this story as much as it "hurt" for Out in the Cold, so I suppose I'll just ignore it (and again, I need to think this through a bit more, so I may find that I'm not really bothered by it at all).
Do you have plans to continue beyond this chapter?
While I'm here, I also want to comment on something that has been stewing in my mind:
@Anonymous:
That's not to say you can't write about characters coming to terms with their sexuality, but basing the whole thing on an implied widespread homophobia rings terribly false. Doubly so when it's their own friends they're worried about -- see previous point. It makes AJ seem like she doesn't trust her best friends to support her, which feels weird... especially after Pinkie's matchmaking.
Considering the reason for AJ's self-doubt (her Grandfather's prejudice being imprinted on her during her upbringing), I think her self-doubt is justified.
Also, if I recall correctly, she was only worried about Rarity specifically rather than all of her friends. Whether you agree with Applejack's interpretation of Rarity's character or not is certainly up in the air (as I said above in response to Chapter 2, I had to spend a bit of time thinking about that point myself before I decided that it made sense based on the backstory), but I think it is quite a different ballgame than thinking all of them would reject her.
@GaruuSpike You want to know how to females were able to have a child? Then READ THE FREAKING STORY.
ReplyDeleteIt's explained in the text. Don't base your entire comment off of the picture.
@TenchiFreak5
ReplyDelete1. Yeah, he dream sequences will be what it is. I struggled to come up with a better opener, and will admit I tend to get overly-detailed at times.
2. One of my goals from the beginning was to feature them having a child, so really, like it or not, I was always shooting for this to be a feature. That being said, I am glad you liked the shout-out to Out in the Cold, although the reason I like this installment of my own story so much (and indeed, the fourth chapter of OITC) was merely the creation aspect of a daughter character.
3. Yes. I will be writing more.
There will be a story 4.
There will be a side-story 2.5, set in between stories 2 and 3, and following a different couple. (wink, wink)
There might possibly be a story 5. That depends on whether or not I feel like writing it after doing 4 and 2.5.
I've read through story two so far. Very good. I've read nearly all Dash ship fics and this ranks high up.
ReplyDeleteOMG! so cute :3
ReplyDeletecan't wait for story 4! And 5! and so on, if there is more!
applejoy? cutest name evar! with little streaks of rainbow in her mane? also cute! and she's a pegasus!
i'm a guy
Disparate Fandom Collision ahoy!
ReplyDeleteWhenever I see the word "saucy" in an MLP context, I can't help but think of the "Saucy Mare" from the old CG show ReBoot. Which was, of course, a ship.
@Proginoskes
ReplyDeleteOK, color me confused... What exactly did you mean by that?
Any ETA on a next part? (I'd like to have a date to look forward to^^)
ReplyDeleteI loves :D
ReplyDeleteAlso I had a nice laugh when we learn how that filly got made ;)
(not to spoil)
@Queler
ReplyDeleteI just sent in the fourth (and final) installment to my editor at 1:30 AM, Monday, August 29. If he holds to his normal timeframe, I should have an edited copy back in a couple days.
@Brony NeumoOk, thanks for the reply^^
ReplyDeleteThis is officially one of my favorites, right next to Out in the Cold.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad to see Applejoy's story end. Great job.
ReplyDeleteThis can't be the end! Goddammit!
ReplyDelete*manly tear*
Fucking beautiful as always. I love you too authorman.
Ah. And there was no [Completed] tag. Shame its over.
ReplyDeleteThough... Best Appledash fic ever written? :P Still, enjoyed it quite a bit though. Its definitely up there.
Just... Loved It!!
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to the side stories.
Thanks for a great fic!!
@Baree
ReplyDeleteI think it's still marked incomplete because I do have a confirmed sidestory in the works.
And best AJ/RD ship-fic ever? I've had at least 15 people tell me they think so, so that's good enough for me!
Holy shit. Its been a good long while since I wrote so much that I literally couldn’t trim it down to fit it into one comment box.
ReplyDelete@Jacob Beck
Yep. This is basically the AppleDash version of Out in the Cold for me (only I actually like it even more than Out in the Cold when both stories are taken by themselves without including the two Out in the Cold sequel stories), which means it is my favorite "normal" shipping story on the entire site outside of Party Never Ended (which is ironic in itself, because I really don't like DashiePie).
So, tl;dr, this actually probably is the best "normal" AppleDash I've read. Possibly even in my personal Top 5 overall (and since I read nearly everything on ED, that actually holds some real weight to me), though I'm waiting for the final chapter to make that determination. My opinion may be skewed somewhat because of how much I love the concept of AppleDash, as well.
Anyways, on with the comments on this chapter.
First, the Negatives:
The grammar started slipping at points. Specifically, there was some comma overuse and "used the wrong spelling of the word" problems similar to what happened in the first chapter (though not as prevalent). It generally stayed quite well as the story went on, but just throwing that out there.
The "saucy" parts of Memories didn't add much of anything to it, I don't think. For the record, I did read both versions of this chapter, just like I did for Grievances.
In Grievances, they were nice because it was all about showing AJ that she could completely place her trust in Dash to be there for her in her time of need while AJ was going through a really rough spot.
For Memories, they really already completely trust each other at this point in their relationship, and the story in fact implies that they do that sorta thing (more-or-less) somewhat frequently anyways.
Therefore, it came off to me as being in the story for the sake of being in the story rather than being in the story because it was supposed to add the same type of emotional impact like it did in Grievances.
Don't get me wrong: I see exactly what you were trying to do. But by very nature of Grievances having basically done it first, it kind of loses most of the impact that I think it was supposed to have doing something similar in Memories.
And Now, on to the Positives:
ReplyDeleteI really, really liked how you explained Rainbow's thoughts, feelings and justifications for her actions back in Confessions. I had been curious about how she was feeling since the first couple of chapters were really just about Applejack, so it is really nice to finally find out Dash's side of the story.
Particularly Fluttershy's role in the proceedings (I'll get to that in detail in a second), but also Dash's similar but not quite the same feelings to what Applejack had; which I think is befitting to Dash's character much more than if you had just copy-pasted AJ's emotions onto Dash.
Finally, I really liked how you wove Dash's backstory in this, explaining why she was even more rebellious as a filly, why she was so friendly and defensive with Fluttershy, and ultimately how she came to be friends with personalities like Gilda's and dropped out of school.
Speaking of Fluttershy, I like how you wove her into Dash's backstory, being the supportive voice of reason for when Dash was feeling depressed with herself. A friendly shoulder to cry on, so to speak. I feel that fits quite well with how their dynamic was presented in Sonic Rainboom, among other episodes. I also thought that AJ not being able to keep her own emotions in check and feeling forced to ask whether Dash felt the same about Fluttershy was a nice little touch.
And while this is more of a general comment for the story, I also personally liked how the FlutterMac blossomed in the background of this story, moving along at a pace that you could just discern if you paid close attention. And, more related to this chapter, I agree that ending it with their wedding was the perfect note to go out with.
Overall, a damn fine chapter. Perhaps not as good as Grievances, if only because Grievances covered somewhat similar ground first, but still not that far off. And if the technical problems were fixed, I'd probably say that it was just as good anyways, so whatever.
I'm looking quite forward to the expansion of the FlutterMac relationship/sidestory that you plan on writing, and how it intertwines with the main storyline of these. When that is done, I feel like I will finally be able to comment on the story as a whole.
Ok see, the prob w/ da image is......they did that HOW?
ReplyDeleteThat was beautiful. I almost cried at some points.
ReplyDeleteEagerly awaiting that FlutterMac spin off. ^^
@TenchiFreak5
ReplyDeleteFirst, thank you. To hear that you consider my fic to be that good, possibly better than OitC, is kind of surreal for me. To have someone such as you, with obviously a lot of fics under their belt, call my story top 5, is quite humbling.
Grammar: I think what may be happening is my editor isn't marking small mistakes clearly enough for me to find them when I read his edited copy...
Saucy: I was afraid of this. I knew I was taking a risk patterning this sequence so closely to Grievances, but in the end, I really wanted to show how AJ could take on the role of "healer" just as well as Rainbow could, that their relationship was mutually supportive.
Positives: Yes, that was something I really wanted to do back when writing the first few chapters, give Rainbow's perspective. I'm glad I was able to.
I think Rainbow's backstory is my second favorite part of this entire series. It was just that fun to invent and write, and also it still feels really touching to me after writing it. I'm really glad others feel the same way.
Overall, thank you. And I can't wait to finally get started on the sidestory!
@mycutiemarkisagun
ReplyDeleteREAD. THE. STORY.
IT IS EXPLAINED IN THE STORY!
I'm getting tires of people commenting on the picture without reading the story for the explanation.
I swear, I'm going to create a somewhat misleading image for my own fan-fic just to test and see who actually read the damn story. :p
ReplyDeleteNO. Just...no.
ReplyDeleteI was dissapointed at how I read the whole censored series and then I realized what "Saucy" meant, and I didn't have enough time to read it again. I was never a big fan of censorship. Some of the censored parts can be important for the story.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, loved it. You deserved those 5 stars, and i'm really looking forward for that "Fluttermac" Fan-fic. Keep on the good work!
I have to say, the only time I really felt sad was at the end, when I realized it had ended, and the rest wasn't part of the story.
ReplyDeleteI also have to say it wasn't that well written at first, and a bit, I dunno, bland? throughout. Not bland, it was incredibly sweet and had great backstories and scenarios and stuff. Just a bit badly written.
@banannagram
ReplyDeleteBadly written? Please elaborate.
I have to admit, but this is pretty good, but I hated how Fluttershy got married :(
ReplyDeleteI felt like punching Big Mac right in his yuping face...until I remembered that this was a fanfic.
i find myself wondering how the rest of the play was.
ReplyDeleteThe final story here felt weak at the second half because I was more interested in the story of Rainbow Dash instead of the relationship between Fluttershy and Big Mac, which I felt was not the main point of this fanfic.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I still enjoyed the conflicts Rainbow Dash and Applejack experienced in this story.
Thank you for making this fanfiction. It has my vote for best Applejack/Rainbow Dash shipping so far.
@sleepingcobrox
ReplyDeleteThat's what we in the literary world call: "Falling action." It lets interest and action drop towards the end of a story after the climax. It's how one generally "wraps up" a story.
And thanks!
I cannot express how much I enjoyed the FlutterMac Side Story added to this. I give it 5 stars.
ReplyDeleteNice, more of this!
ReplyDeleteI loved the side story so much!
ReplyDeleteIf I could, I'd give this a second five-star.
Excellent work!
*looks at cover picture* um, is that even physically possible?
ReplyDelete@Gozer the Equestrian
ReplyDeleteHow many times does stuff like what I am about to say need to be said? They know two living Goddesses. It's not that hard for them to be able to have a kid together with those kinda connections.
@Gozer the Equestrian
ReplyDeleteIf you read the story it is!
Lovely, lovely lovely. Wonderful day indeed. Out in the Cold gets another sequel, and soon after the sidestory to Confessions gets updated.
ReplyDeleteI loved this one. It expanded on the background for the main story just a little bit, filling in little details that I hadn't even noticed were missing and covering events that I'm glad to have finally seen. And the events of this story itself were nice to see, being woven very well into the main narrative.
On that note, there is one thing I'm not entirely sure I get. Why was Fluttershy so worried about Applejack's opinions about her feelings for Big Mac? Applejack's fear of disapproval in Confessions was pretty straightforward based on what happened in the backstory of her life, as were Dash's fear of commitment, but I don't quite get why Fluttershy had the fears she had.
Was she worried that Applejack knew of her and Rainbow's history (even though Rainbow hadn't told Applejack yet, making it a communication breakdown between all three), or something along those lines? I know Fluttershy is Fluttershy, so the standards for what would bother her into inaction are different from what would scare Applejack or Dash, but I still don't completely understand.
Why isn't this set of stories 6 star
ReplyDelete@TenchiFreak5
ReplyDeleteI kinda wondered that too, but then remembered there is some kind of stupid taboo among people that your friends do not date your siblings or something. I assume that is being used here.
Woohoo! Awesome! THANK YOU! You did the MacinShy addition justice! Thank you for listening to us and going through to make the addition! One of the best MacinShy's Trevor has read yet! (THough one would like to point out either a typo, or something overlooked. Fluttershy has been excited at one other time, and really, in Trevor's opinion, her excitement got the better of her MUCH more in the following incident than the Grand Galloping Gala: When RD does the Sonic Rainboom for the second time. That's when she's bouncing up and down, screaming and hollaring like a maniac, not the Grand Galloping Gala. She was angry there, not excited. Just what Trevor thinks, anyhoof.)
ReplyDelete~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
@TenchiFreak5My idea of Fluttershy in the position of finding herself in a budding relationship is basically that she's so new to the whole concept that her first clumsy steps are full of awkwardness and fear.
ReplyDeleteThat beijg said, along with Fluttershy's exaggerated fears in the first place, what I know, (At least from my social experience), is that it is generally frowned upon for someone to date a friend's sibling. I'm not sure if that that societal stigma would carry over into the pony world, but I decided it could.
Fuck you god damn sexual deviants turning something as sweet and innocent as mlp into a cluster fuck of sexual deviancy and yes I AM talking about homosexuality.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a homophobe, a phobia is a FEAR, I don't fear the sexually immoral... I HATE THEM!!!
@Anon haters gunna hate! religious freakoids gunna freak! and yes u are a homophobe in my book because of the above comment, love and tolerance my child...
ReplyDelete@Brony Neumo
DUDE! what ever u have going on through ur mind right now when ur wrighting this! keep it going cause this has to bee one of the most beautiful shipping fics that ive ever seen! this had me pondering my future as well (kids, wife, life) ya know what i mean but dude A grade stuff! keep it up!
I love this story. I'm a recent brony, but pretty soon after I started to watch the show, read fanfics, look at fanart, and think about it...
ReplyDeleteI realized that I love AppleDash :D
Although now that you have introduced me to FlutterMac (or MacinShy, if you prefer), it's become my second favorite pairing.
Now, like many others, I did notice several grammar mistakes.
Unlike the others, I felt that chapter 4 was an essential part of the story. Showing how their relationship, like any good relationship, is mutually supportive, did really help to drive home the point that they really do love each other.
And I've always preferred a good RomanceFic over a ClopFic. Clopping is nice, but romance helps it feel all the more real.
And the rating needs 20% more stars.
ReplyDeleteA prologue!?
ReplyDelete@TenchiFreak5
ReplyDeleteA prologue to the sixth story, yes.
If it seems more like a first chapter, well then I guess that's my fault.
The hell? Am I the only one reading this now?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, nice to see that this is shaping up into a nice little slice-of-life story, only with the Confessions series as a background for it all. Once again brings back memories of Out in the Cold, this time the sequel stories that it had. Looking forward to more.
Okay, kind of creepy at this point...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, still really enjoying this. Really like how Applejack has matured a bit, but her insecurities (namely her need to do everything if she even thinks others cant do it) are still showing through.
You know, there is only one other story that I can think of that makes me this happy when I'm reading it.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHA!!! i just finished readint the whole thing before the update hit!!! ITS A HEARTH WARMING MIRACLE!!!
ReplyDeleteDang, that was good. Seeing this five part update was based on "It's a Wonderful Life," I was a little worried. This was handled very well with many imaginative twists to the original. The holiday magic of ponies!
ReplyDeleteBut what happened to Skoots??
Must know! Looking forward to the next update.
This is so sweHHHHNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!
ReplyDeleteMagical, truly magical! I think even daddi Discord would approve...if he wasn't a pidgin poo catcher that is!....sometimes, I want pear flavord French toast
ReplyDeleteYay. New Chapter. ScootaBloom is something I approve of.
ReplyDeleteOkay, start planning my funeral people, cuz I say the filly in the fic should have rainbow hair.
ReplyDeleteWell bye bye world. Plan to bury me under a pegasus-shaped tombstone. Welp ON TO MORE PONIES~