• Story: Wild Berry Punch

    by
    [Random]

    Author: Mimic Kairatta
    Description: What happens when a drunken mare stumbles into Twilight's home?
    Wild Berry Punch

    Additional Tags: Drunk, humor, twilight, Berry punch, awkward
    Friday, July 15, 2011 op
    Labels: , , , , , , ,
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    41 comments:

    1. AnonymousJuly 15, 2011 at 2:01 AM

      Haha, a Berry Punch fic!
      ..This was unexpected!

      ReplyDelete
    2. FlatterscheuJuly 15, 2011 at 2:03 AM

      This sounds promising...

      ReplyDelete
    3. Lupus AlbusJuly 15, 2011 at 2:07 AM

      It was certainly cute, but dear god the seemingly random use of present tense almost every other sentence was distracting.

      ReplyDelete
    4. AnonymousJuly 15, 2011 at 2:09 AM

      @Lupus Albus

      This.
      ________

      Anyways, great stuff. Drunk Twi is best Twi.

      ReplyDelete
    5. AponymousJuly 15, 2011 at 2:16 AM

      It was an amusing story, I love any story that involves drunk ponies, but the present tense really bugged me.

      ReplyDelete
    6. FlatterscheuJuly 15, 2011 at 2:16 AM

      That was hilarious.

      ReplyDelete
    7. LoLZorZsJuly 15, 2011 at 2:18 AM

      Twilight not having the age to drink?
      Rofl she's like 22+

      ReplyDelete
    8. ShannonJuly 15, 2011 at 2:20 AM

      Raise your hoof if you were drinking while reading this! I was!! :D

      ReplyDelete
    9. AnonymousJuly 15, 2011 at 2:30 AM

      Everything's better with ponies and alcohol.

      Also, was that bit about bringing brooms to life a subtle reference to Fantasia?

      ReplyDelete
    10. AnonymousJuly 15, 2011 at 2:35 AM

      Jeez, one drink from a punch bowl--- at a KID'S PARTY no less-- and everyone's labeled her the town lush.
      Geez, fanon's a complete bastard.

      ReplyDelete
    11. I'm Only KiddingJuly 15, 2011 at 2:47 AM

      Berry, you so silly.

      ReplyDelete
    12. AidinthelJuly 15, 2011 at 2:51 AM

      @AnonymousI believe it was.

      ReplyDelete
    13. AnonymousJuly 15, 2011 at 3:02 AM

      I liked this story a lot more than I thought I would. I'd love to see what happened the next day.

      ReplyDelete
    14. KyleJuly 15, 2011 at 3:16 AM

      Eh, the tense kept me from really enjoying this fic, and given the premise I didn't think it was anything overwhelmingly awesome to begin with. It's not bad, it's just kind of there in my opinion.

      ReplyDelete
    15. TricaneJuly 15, 2011 at 3:16 AM

      It would be a nice little story, if it wasn't for the incessant tense-jumping.

      ReplyDelete
    16. AnonymousJuly 15, 2011 at 3:20 AM

      The tenses could be confusing at times but drunk ponies = best ponies!

      ReplyDelete
    17. LilyJuly 15, 2011 at 3:34 AM

      i demand more berry punch fics. maybe with colgate.

      Please?

      ReplyDelete
    18. A Terrible PersonJuly 15, 2011 at 3:45 AM

      Yeah, the tense felt really unnatural, and there were a couple spelling errors (you get your bearings, not barrings), and there were a few unnecessarily verbose euphemisms for "wine" — all in all, I think the story needed an editing run or two more than it got — but other than that it was a nice, amusing story.

      ReplyDelete
    19. AnonymousJuly 15, 2011 at 4:08 AM

      All the ponies in this town are CRAZY!

      ReplyDelete
    20. AnonymousJuly 15, 2011 at 5:40 AM

      DAT. PRESENT. TENSE.

      But yeah, this was fun, we need more of that drunkard earth pony.

      ReplyDelete
    21. AnonymousJuly 15, 2011 at 6:31 AM

      Hilarious ending is hilarious.

      ReplyDelete
    22. Sunset RoseJuly 15, 2011 at 8:45 AM

      I saw Berry Punch and clicked without reading the title, hmhm.
      I laughed quite a bit as I read this. Well done.
      4/5

      ReplyDelete
    23. MimicJuly 15, 2011 at 9:05 AM

      The pre-readers never mentioned the present tense issue before. I'll fix the tensing issue when I get back home tonight. Thanks everyone for reading it and helping me out.

      ReplyDelete
    24. toxopomJuly 15, 2011 at 10:11 AM

      That was...weird. Especially with Twilight getting drunk, which was completely unexpected. I can't say that I liked the story, yet I cannot say I quite disliked it either (although it's closer to that then liked).

      ReplyDelete
    25. derpybronyJuly 15, 2011 at 10:14 AM

      saw the pic, saw the description..."I NEED TO READ THIS NAOW!"

      ReplyDelete
    26. AnonymousJuly 15, 2011 at 11:20 AM

      This was the first time I've read a pony fic. It was pretty funny. :3

      ReplyDelete
    27. AnonymousJuly 15, 2011 at 11:25 AM

      lol I liked it.

      ReplyDelete
    28. WraithwoodJuly 15, 2011 at 11:49 AM

      Great story. i have to agree with [A Terrible Person] though, as soon as you fix the tense issue it will make it all that much better.

      ReplyDelete
    29. AnonymousJuly 15, 2011 at 11:53 AM

      ^ Agreed! lol still it was a nice story wouldn't mind having more Berry Punch though.

      Nice story btw short and delicious, even if the poor girls (first story?) was her as a crazy drunken mare.

      WTB more background story for Berry!

      ReplyDelete
    30. AnonymousJuly 15, 2011 at 12:17 PM

      Romana is not amused by Berry Punch's drunken reveries. And Big Macintosh hitting. And Pinkie Pie is very disappointed in Twilight. After all, she's supposed to be the irresponsible one.

      ReplyDelete
    31. Present PerfectJuly 15, 2011 at 3:21 PM

      Has some tense issues. Okay, a LOT of tense issues. The ending was kind of awesome. The rest is cute to funny. Not a lot going on in this one, I dunno.

      ReplyDelete
    32. TigerflameJuly 15, 2011 at 3:48 PM

      This has to be one of the best [RANDOME] i have ever read! thanks for posting!

      ReplyDelete
    33. Mimic KairattaJuly 15, 2011 at 5:45 PM

      Alright, tense issue fixed as much as I can at the moment. Enjoy the story guys. :)

      ReplyDelete
    34. AnonymousJuly 15, 2011 at 6:40 PM

      Ok i loved it and wants more :)

      ReplyDelete
    35. AnonymousJuly 15, 2011 at 7:11 PM

      Tense, sure, but what about Twi feeling it after a gulp of freakin' wine?! Sure, maybe a lightweight but COME ON. Maybe if it was cognac or some higher % content stuff, I could see it but off wine?

      Really, go get drunk yourself first before taking what you learned from WoW and applying it to ... magical unicorn ponies. Oh wow, nevermind. Still say it's a LITTLE extreme but eh, they're magical unicorn ponies.

      ReplyDelete
    36. SkayJuly 15, 2011 at 7:36 PM

      Did I laugh? Yes.
      Funny? Very Yes.

      Awkward usage of present Tense? ...Yes.

      ReplyDelete
    37. Vulcan539July 16, 2011 at 5:40 AM

      lol wow at lest I don't feel alone with my lightwaighness lol:P

      I liked this allot.
      half expected a "and they fucked" ending.

      Hail my crappy grasp of grammar=]

      ReplyDelete
    38. AnonymousAugust 17, 2011 at 5:33 AM

      Just OMG!

      I read it now and I liked it a lot.

      ReplyDelete
    39. SebialeAugust 29, 2011 at 5:42 AM

      Spelling/grammar needs some work.
      Other than that I think it's pretty good (although I hope Twi doesn't suffer any harmful effects from drinking while underage . . . )

      ReplyDelete
    40. 101VoltsOctober 22, 2011 at 7:51 PM

      Seemed a bit sketchy at the start, I started enjoying it as it went on. I kinda wish it was longer.

      ReplyDelete
    41. TimberOctober 28, 2011 at 1:13 PM

      Lol Drunk ponies are best ponies. Yes I'm a bit drunk myself.

      ReplyDelete

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