Author: Mimic Kairatta
Description: What happens when a drunken mare stumbles into Twilight's home?Wild Berry Punch
Additional Tags: Drunk, humor, twilight, Berry punch, awkward
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Author: Mimic Kairatta
Additional Tags: Drunk, humor, twilight, Berry punch, awkward
Sildid: Author: Mimic Kairatta, Berry Punch, Complete, Fanfiction, Random, Star-4, Story, Twilight SparkleShare This!
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41 kommentaari:
Haha, a Berry Punch fic!
VastaKustuta..This was unexpected!
This sounds promising...
VastaKustutaIt was certainly cute, but dear god the seemingly random use of present tense almost every other sentence was distracting.
VastaKustuta@Lupus Albus
VastaKustutaThis.
________
Anyways, great stuff. Drunk Twi is best Twi.
It was an amusing story, I love any story that involves drunk ponies, but the present tense really bugged me.
VastaKustutaThat was hilarious.
VastaKustutaTwilight not having the age to drink?
VastaKustutaRofl she's like 22+
Raise your hoof if you were drinking while reading this! I was!! :D
VastaKustutaEverything's better with ponies and alcohol.
VastaKustutaAlso, was that bit about bringing brooms to life a subtle reference to Fantasia?
Jeez, one drink from a punch bowl--- at a KID'S PARTY no less-- and everyone's labeled her the town lush.
VastaKustutaGeez, fanon's a complete bastard.
Berry, you so silly.
VastaKustuta@AnonymousI believe it was.
VastaKustutaI liked this story a lot more than I thought I would. I'd love to see what happened the next day.
VastaKustutaEh, the tense kept me from really enjoying this fic, and given the premise I didn't think it was anything overwhelmingly awesome to begin with. It's not bad, it's just kind of there in my opinion.
VastaKustutaIt would be a nice little story, if it wasn't for the incessant tense-jumping.
VastaKustutaThe tenses could be confusing at times but drunk ponies = best ponies!
VastaKustutai demand more berry punch fics. maybe with colgate.
VastaKustutaPlease?
Yeah, the tense felt really unnatural, and there were a couple spelling errors (you get your bearings, not barrings), and there were a few unnecessarily verbose euphemisms for "wine" — all in all, I think the story needed an editing run or two more than it got — but other than that it was a nice, amusing story.
VastaKustutaAll the ponies in this town are CRAZY!
VastaKustutaDAT. PRESENT. TENSE.
VastaKustutaBut yeah, this was fun, we need more of that drunkard earth pony.
Hilarious ending is hilarious.
VastaKustutaI saw Berry Punch and clicked without reading the title, hmhm.
VastaKustutaI laughed quite a bit as I read this. Well done.
4/5
The pre-readers never mentioned the present tense issue before. I'll fix the tensing issue when I get back home tonight. Thanks everyone for reading it and helping me out.
VastaKustutaThat was...weird. Especially with Twilight getting drunk, which was completely unexpected. I can't say that I liked the story, yet I cannot say I quite disliked it either (although it's closer to that then liked).
VastaKustutasaw the pic, saw the description..."I NEED TO READ THIS NAOW!"
VastaKustutaThis was the first time I've read a pony fic. It was pretty funny. :3
VastaKustutalol I liked it.
VastaKustutaGreat story. i have to agree with [A Terrible Person] though, as soon as you fix the tense issue it will make it all that much better.
VastaKustuta^ Agreed! lol still it was a nice story wouldn't mind having more Berry Punch though.
VastaKustutaNice story btw short and delicious, even if the poor girls (first story?) was her as a crazy drunken mare.
WTB more background story for Berry!
Romana is not amused by Berry Punch's drunken reveries. And Big Macintosh hitting. And Pinkie Pie is very disappointed in Twilight. After all, she's supposed to be the irresponsible one.
VastaKustutaHas some tense issues. Okay, a LOT of tense issues. The ending was kind of awesome. The rest is cute to funny. Not a lot going on in this one, I dunno.
VastaKustutaThis has to be one of the best [RANDOME] i have ever read! thanks for posting!
VastaKustutaAlright, tense issue fixed as much as I can at the moment. Enjoy the story guys. :)
VastaKustutaOk i loved it and wants more :)
VastaKustutaTense, sure, but what about Twi feeling it after a gulp of freakin' wine?! Sure, maybe a lightweight but COME ON. Maybe if it was cognac or some higher % content stuff, I could see it but off wine?
VastaKustutaReally, go get drunk yourself first before taking what you learned from WoW and applying it to ... magical unicorn ponies. Oh wow, nevermind. Still say it's a LITTLE extreme but eh, they're magical unicorn ponies.
Did I laugh? Yes.
VastaKustutaFunny? Very Yes.
Awkward usage of present Tense? ...Yes.
lol wow at lest I don't feel alone with my lightwaighness lol:P
VastaKustutaI liked this allot.
half expected a "and they fucked" ending.
Hail my crappy grasp of grammar=]
Just OMG!
VastaKustutaI read it now and I liked it a lot.
Spelling/grammar needs some work.
VastaKustutaOther than that I think it's pretty good (although I hope Twi doesn't suffer any harmful effects from drinking while underage . . . )
Seemed a bit sketchy at the start, I started enjoying it as it went on. I kinda wish it was longer.
VastaKustutaLol Drunk ponies are best ponies. Yes I'm a bit drunk myself.
VastaKustuta