Author: Kegisak
Description: After many long years, Celestia's beloved sister has finally returned to her. However, Luna has brought someone else with her.The True King
Additional Tags: Celestia, Luna, OC Pony Reunion
[Grimdark]
Description: A world filtered through a television set does no justice to itself at all. I learned this, many years ago...if you will listen, I shall tell you how.On Waffles
Additional Tags: Expidition, Waffles, Humans in Equestria, Tyrant Celestia, Celestia, Humans
32 comments:
That first story... Oh dear, the possibilities implied there... both past and future.
ReplyDeleteI was first? Seriously? O_o that never happens.
ReplyDeleteTwo people have voted 1 star without commenting?
ReplyDeleteI haven't read these, but I think if the two voters hated them so much it would be nice if they gave some indication why
First story was interesting, but not much to go on.
ReplyDeleteSecond story was very out of character for Celestia, and just weird.
Both stories explore very interesting and different ideas. I won't spoil anything for those who want to read them, but this are very nice little short stories to be enjoyed.
ReplyDelete@Hardbeat Acolyte
ReplyDeleteI notice something similar happened on Past Sins, and I have to wonder if a few of the blog's non fan-fiction readers are dropping 1-star bombs whenever they see a story posted.
Hmm, the prose of the second one is fantastic, but I'm not sure I like the subject matter. Tyrant Celestia is a big turn-off for me, and here I was hoping for a twist that never came. The whole waffle thing comes off as rather ridiculous too.
ReplyDeleteThe first one is quite good, though I feel it could have gone further into Luna and Celestia's dynamic, it really just consisted of the specter taunting them without giving the readers much indication of how harsh it was, beyond the sister's reactions. We weren't privy to enough emotion or inner thought here, I feel.
tl;dr, prose and technical skill shown is fantastic, the story itself, somewhat lacking.
Well written. But weird as all hell.
ReplyDeleteThe second one was so... stupid in a good way. I think I will go eat some waffles now
ReplyDelete*insert sad face*
ReplyDeletewhy do I want to have some waffles now?
I only read the second one and, I'm probably the only one, but, I like the mean Celestia.
ReplyDeleteThe True King? OC pony? Tyrant Celestia?
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm not liking this recipe.
Not every story is to every brony's taste.
ReplyDeleteAt the very least, the Fics listed here are technically sound.
"Waffles" wasn't my thing. Well done, but not my thing. Perhaps a rough equivalent for Celstia to Pinkie Pie's "Cupcakes."
"The True King", however, shows promise. I'm willing to give at least chapter 2 a chance.
First one was pretty good, I reckon. A little short but, hey, they're shorts.
ReplyDeleteSecond one was great ... until that retarded end. Could be the music I'm listening to though. I noticed something was stupid when he mentioned a 'whiff' at the beginning. Also, the POV guy in that one is stupid. He promised his assistant he'd be famous so duh Celestia is going to take his memory.
The second one could have been exactly the same story without the Grimdark. It reminds me of the H. P. Lushcraft parodies kinda. (Cthulhu with plushies instead of tentacles basically)
ReplyDeleteThe first one is one of the annoying stories with no point except to define backstory. I hate those.
I liked the first story best. It was very compelling. But I have to ask. What is their father's name?
ReplyDeletefirst one: Okay, yet another "greater and more terrible evil" story. Sorry, it's already a worn out trope, and not very inspiring. It seems like some people can't write a story without something flapping about and going "muwuhahahahah" in the background. The key to writing a sequel doesn't lie in "dragonballing" the new villain to be bigger than the last.
ReplyDeleteSecond: Pure unadulterated NARM. Tyrant Celestia is bordering on narm as it is, but making her smell like DIVINE WAFFLES? I'm imagining the author hitting a toke and getting hit by the munchies while they're sitting at the keyboard.
@RealityCheck
ReplyDeleteNow, I just read that story and it makes it clear she smells more than waffles from a toasting oven.
But anyway, I do not agree that this is Narm. I like the juxtaposition of the smell of the princess and the princess herself; she smells of home. He thinks of his mother when he smelled her, but his experiences are anything but motherly... I guess YMMV with On Waffles.
And that ladies and gentlemen, is why you ALWAYS bring firearms!
ReplyDeleteWell, all in all I supose I should have expected these sorts of reactions. I'm not trying to excuse myself in saying this, but neither of these were ever really intended to be a full story in their own right.
ReplyDeleteThe True King was an experiment, or an excercise, really. I had a neat idea for a villain, someone completely powerless on his own, who was constantly torturing his daughters, trying to find an opening to sneak in and take their power - in my mind, he was the original source of Nightmare Moon. He took over Luna, and tried to use her power to defeat Celestia, but he lost the battle. I wanted to see if I could make him as vile, as slimy and evil as possible. I might do a fic with him some day, but I've got a lot to go through first.
As for On Waffles? It was...well, it was originally a joke, that got really out of hand. I was on a forum when someone posted the picture used for the story, and demanded we discuss whether or not her coat smelled like waffles. So the fic sort of spawned from that. Looking back on it, while it would have made perfect sense in context, without it, it just seems wildly out of left field.
Still, I'm glad that people seemed to enjoy them a little bit, even if the general consensus was 'odd and lacking'. I may have to pull out a full fic for The True King for that reason alone - plus, he's fun as hell to write, I'll admit.
I liked the 2nd one a lot. I thought it was pretty clear that she smelt like his best memories of his mother. As to why he wanted to smell her in the first place, he a professor. All professors are weird. Its why they're professors.
ReplyDeleteFrom a technical standpoint, these are well-written. Kudos there.
ReplyDeleteFrom a personal preference standpoint... meh.
Taken together, and the result is: average.
Huh, guess Celestia really doesn't like humanity. Can't say I blame her.
ReplyDeleteYeeeeah... Second story was a big ''meh ?''...
ReplyDeleteIf it had been turned more toward comedy (than that), it might have been something rather interesting... but not as it is -now-.
...will read the first one later, thought I not sure, from the other comments and about the name of the story... *THE* *True* king ?
@Nova25
ReplyDeleteUm. Not quite sure what you mean by that...you don't like the name of it?
@kegisak
ReplyDeleteI'm just surprised someone wrote fiction inspired by a picture I drew. Of course, I read On Waffles, and I agree it would have worked a little better as a comedy. Thank you all the same!
@scarcity
ReplyDeleteYou're the artist? It's a very nice picture! I have to ask, though, since it was the debate that spawned the fic, just what's going on? Is Luna just thinking about making waffles, or...?
I think your right, though. Looking back on it, the concept is really just ludicrous, it would have lent itself much better to comedy than anything even vaguely serious.
@kegisak
ReplyDeleteDo you intend to make a second, more comedy-related, version in the future, by any chance ?
So... the first story is about the ''father'' of the princesses, showing up being evil-like and controling...
ReplyDelete...and the name is ''The true'' king ?
It was somewhat interesting, but the title doesn't seem to 'really' fit ? Just saying.
Mmm...I suppose you may be right about that. I picked the title because it's how the father refers to himself - he was, at one point, the king of Equestria...I'd go into further detail, But I have plans for a fic that will detail it, so I won't spoil anything here.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure about re-writing On Waffles. It was pretty much the first thing I ever wrote for the fandom, so it's pretty much long since forgotten. Not to mention the original wasn't planned to begin with. Still, Further Notes On Waffles is not an impossibility, I suppose.
@kegisak
ReplyDeleteThank you! Originally, this was to be part of a larger piece, where Luna lazily flutters back to the castle she shares with her sister after a night spent enjoying herself. In the picture, Luna wakes Celestia earlier earlier than normal (hence Celestia's eyes remaining rolled into her head) to make her signature waffles, the ideal dinner after a night like Luna's. Afterward, Luna would gleefully deliver her story about the magic of friendship, complete with overactive hoof motions, wide eyes, and slightly slurred speech.
When I first saw the title I thought to myself, "The true king is on waffles? It that a metaphor or something?"
ReplyDeleteThen I realized it was two different stories and I felt like a silly pony.