Author: Ben Chambers
Description: Twilight Sparkle attempts to create a new spell which can take her or anypony anywhere they want... Even into deep space. But, she soon learns it was the biggest mistake she could ever have made...StarPony: Wings of Liberty Part 1
StarPony: Wings of Liberty Part 2 (New!)
Additional Tags: Twilight, StarCraft, War, Zerg, Protoss
63 comments:
first
ReplyDeleteanywaaaaaays a starcraft crossover? cool although i neverwas into RTS's im sure this would be a good read, zerg rush of comments saying "finally"?
ReplyDeleteErm... this could be better. The purple prose in the first paragraph or so nearly turned me off.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Earth? I suppose that means Equestria is now treated as a country?
Don't know, some elements of the story bugged me.
Hell, it's about time.
ReplyDeleteneeds more jim raynor
ReplyDeletewho would win ina fight kerrigan or celestia
ReplyDeleteWasn't there already a Starcraft/MLP crossover?
ReplyDelete@ZettaLux
ReplyDeleteYeah, I there was at one point. I don't think that it was ever finished, though.
"urinate in cowerdice" i swear i died laughing
ReplyDeleteintresting that instead of humans you put them as ponies, i dont really know thewhole timeline to starcraft so im guessing the portal also put herintothe future? or an alternate future dimension? I NEED BACKGROUND HERE!!!
ugh i was expecting them to be humans and finding a silly little pony ona space ship
ReplyDeleteyou need to construct additional pylons
ReplyDeleteI'm a little dissapointed that they were'nt human but besides that i really liked it :)
ReplyDeleteObviously the only excuse which they can use is Twilight's teleportation spell failing, seriously...why can't people find some other excuse to make them go into another world? WHY THE CRAP Does it always have to be the same excuse over and over again...freaking copy-cats
ReplyDelete@Anonymous I'm still working on it.
ReplyDeleteGuess I'll look into my competition. Looks intriguing (especially with the really similar image).
Three races. Protosss (Unicorn), Zerg (Pegasus) and Terran (Earth Pony).
ReplyDeleteParasprite rush! Kekekeke!
ReplyDeleteHow can I NOT read this after that header image? I'm saving that.
ReplyDeleteAlso, calling it right now guys, I, 7heSama aka Militant-Jester, am going to write a WH40k/MLP:FiM crossover fic (note: I play the actual tabletop + computer games).
Now to read this story.. with almost no starcraft experience...
@Mr.Brony its the easiest way to explain things, thinking of anything other than that would be to much of a hassle (depending on the crossover) and the writer would have to delve into a lengthy explanation...and stuff
ReplyDelete@7he Sama good luck! i used to have the little tabletop thingies, i had the Space Marines & those xenomorph looking aliens, funny after i paid like $250 on them and glued,painted, got my little tabletop terrain finished, i leave to the market and when i come back i find my little brother destroyed everything aha even if i still had them all they wouldve bern is decoration cause i had no one to play & teach me the game ahaha oh wells
ReplyDeleteGOD *DAMNIT* TWILIGHT. WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS. STOP DICKING ABOUT WITH TELEPORTATION.
ReplyDeleteIT IS BAD ROAD.
LET IT BE.
so much potential
ReplyDeleteim not sure if its done it doesnt seen like a good ending just said like the guards waited for like twilight to cry or some shit is this the end
ReplyDeleteD: !!!
im starting wonder if "twilight tries to invent a mass/long distance teleport spell, but it goes wrong" is one of the most common crossover stories.
ReplyDeleteThat was fairly enjoyable - but I really have to point out two majors, persistent problems - first of all, Twilight's knowledge of the Confederacy's technology was ridiculous; how, exactly, is she supposed to know what power armor, chain guns, mini guns, neural interfaces, etc. are? Just saying "Twilight's a dork" doesn't cut it when *nothing* like this exists in Equestria. And why did no one on the bridge notice her presence when she *fell from the ceiling?*
ReplyDeleteOh and even though I rarely play SC I know that the Marines use Gauss rifles, not chainguns, unless I'm missing something... sheesh...
But again. It wasn't bad. It could just... use improvement. Like everything.
Oh right:
@Gypsy: That sucks hardcore man, sorry you had to waste all your time and money. I'll try not to disappoint.
Better'n I expected.
ReplyDeleteOnly one mistake, as far as I can see; The Hyperion is only 800 meters long. Therefore a 'mile long corridor' would be impossible.
What 7heSama says also has some weight; if we're assuming this Twilight lives in the Equestria the show has given us, I don't see how she could understand weapons or power armor armor.
I'm assuming that Twilight doesn't know what the hell is going on, but the power armor and chainguns and doors and whatnot is all for our benefit rather than Twilight thinking "Oh hey, Power Armor and chainguns!"
ReplyDeleteIf I was Twilight I'd be somewhere between scared shitless and wondering what the hell is going on.
That said, Twilight has never seen a gun, let alone a giant six-barreled magnetically operated chaingun. I think more explanation is in order.
Sudden Fridge Brilliance realization.
ReplyDeleteTwilight doesn't know what a gun is because Equestria is almost a utopia. Why? Because the residents of Earth loaded the dregs of their society onto massive ships, pointed them at the Cosmos, and pulled the trigger. Those banished became residents of the Koprulu sector.
I want to say bad idea...
ReplyDeleteI love Starcraft 2 too much, and I'm not about to let my broniness get involved with my Starcraft...
*heads into the fanfiction hoping to be proved wrong*
I like starcaft 2 and I love my little pony fim so good job on the fanfiction plz make more
ReplyDeleteSeeing as how I can blindly enjoy anything about Starcraft (good job blizzard), I can't say I don't like this even if the writing seems a little flimsy. (unfortunately I can't be helpful on this subject, I'm sure anything I would write would be worse) Regardless, Good job and keep writing fanfics.
ReplyDeleteWell... decent enough...
ReplyDeleteYou may continue.
@Crimson Valor
ReplyDeleteHi! Author here.
This is a problem I've seen, the ship not being big enough. But as I had said in the story, that was just her guess, something to make the ship seem large, without actually being as large. But I did make the distance shorter, since that was causing some confusion.
Also, it was not my intention to make Twilight seem to know all about Confederacy technology- I was merely saying in the case of how she figures out how the suits are controlled by the ponies is just something she could make an educated guess at and be fairly close. She didn't get it all right, you know.
As for the weapons, I made it so that its more apparent she does not know what a gun is- only recognizes that it is dangerous looking.
Thanks for reading! Chapter 2 coming soon. :)
@Flutterfan
ReplyDeleteBut some of Terrens are also Unicorn and Pegasus
I realy like this.
ReplyDeleteYou have not enough minerals.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest issue I have with this is that the narration changes to and from omniscience and limited with no rhyme or reason. Pick one and stick with it.
ReplyDeletepart 2 fuck yeah, update first :3
ReplyDelete@Forderz
ReplyDeleteIt's even more prevalent with chapter two.
This is gonna sound really, really harsh... Apologies in advance. I'm not bashing you, I'm criticizing.
Chambers, you flip back and forth between tenses, back and forth omniscience and limited (as Forderz said), and from Dickensian prose to a total flatness that sounds like someone reciting an encyclopedia entry, quite a lot. It makes the story pacing jarring and difficult to hang on to. I love ponies and I love Starcraft, but your writing makes this an effort to read. You've also got a lot of redundancies and mild contradictions ("snickered a chuckle"? Those are two different kinds of laughs.)
Focus more on the story than trying to impress your readers with prose. If the story is solid enough, heartfelt enough, the words will simply come. You don't have to force them. (In contradiction to this, I'd say you didn't put enough into Twilight saving the final transport. I'm a quick reader, only slightly tired and I zipped right over it, almost missing it completely. You have to make super-important moments like that stand out.)
Battlecruisers don't land. They either dock or remain in orbit.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I love MLP And SC2, I don't think they should be combined together.
ReplyDeleteSorry, it's just what I think.
@Grif
ReplyDeleteWasn't Equestria always treated as a country? In the Dragonshy episode, Applejack exclaims "What in the name of all things cinnamon swirls is a dragon doing HERE in Equestria?" and at the end, Twilight writes to Celestia informing her that the dragon has "departed our fair country".
My interpretation was that Equestria was but a mere country, and there were others in their world, perhaps the country of gryphons. This is the premise for my upcoming fanfic, so I hope I didn't interpret wrong.
Unless you were talking about being a country on planet Earth. Then I see your point.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteIt never did land, it sent troops down in shuttles.
@Crimson Valor
ReplyDeleteThank you for your criticism, I know you are not bashing me, only trying to help.
You see, writing scripts has always been my thing, and I've just recently tried to switch over to novel stories such as this, so its only natural that I screw a few things up on my first big try- though I've tried writing a few things in the past. If the pre-readers of Eqd think its postable like this, however... I'm not going to dispute it. All I can really say is, I'm working on it, and I'm working on becoming a better writer. I'm going to try taking a few courses and get better, pay better attention to my tenses and focus on being more limited, and focus more on how I word actions. Limited feels like a good way to go with this story, but there are just some things I want to explain that it wont allow, and when I don't it causes a lot of confusion.
And I will add more to when Twilight does her thing at the end.
Thank you for your criticism. :D
and yet theres no fan fictions for what starcraft was stolen from... Blizzard took starcraft from Warhammer 40k, and changed some concepts to make it more their own. IE: Marines look like Space Marines, Zurg look like Tyranids, the aliens with plasmaswords (I dont know what htey are called) Are a mix of Tau and Eldar. I don't know if there are any starcraft fans out there who would disagree. But its true. And I'll admit, starcraft did a good job modifying designs, they made a few things their own and I'll give them credit for that, but all the base ideas they stole are not deserving of respect.
ReplyDeletejust did a quick bout of research on creation dates to confirm this. Warhammer 40k was conceived in 1987, where starcraft was made by blizzard (after their relations with games-workshop grew sour) in 1999 for Mac OS. Warhammer never had a game made to do them honor past the table top edition because the company who was supposed to release a game for them broke away and released it, after changing character designs slightly... as guess what! WARCRAFT. Blizzard beat Games-workshop to the game market and skyrocketed to popularity while Games-workshop remained its own little company that made table top miniatures for war gamers. I'm not saying warcraft and starcraft arent fun, i'm just saying they are ripoffs of the original.
ReplyDeleteyes I hate to come in here and spew my knowledge at people who enjoy this. Go ahead and enjoy it :) I've said my 2 cents and am done. Just keep that in mind.
Red flag at the F bomb. Starcraft 2 is rated Teen, not M. The F bomb was never used, so regardless of anything, Tychus is out of character. In fact, I don't believe that much profanity was used in the Starcraft series at all.
ReplyDeleteCrossover or not, Tychus is out of character. This is Starcraft, not Warhammer.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHG I NEED TO SEE THE NEXT CHAPTER SO BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD.
ReplyDeleteVladimir get off your condescending haunches for a second. EVERYONE rips off everyone. Do you think your wh40k is so original? It's art style is influenced by gothic designs. The three races thing is more from starship troopers than wh40k, with the only striking similarity between sc and wh40k being the zerg and only the terran infantry.
ReplyDeleteWh40k itself is ripped from whfantasy, which has striking resemblence to Lord of the rings, wouldnt you say? Lotr, starship troopers, and AvP the comic were all from the fifties. LotR gets its influences from mythology and starship troopers got their bugs from nature.
Nothing is original, least of all your 40k. So kindly turn off your superiority air please.
Starcraft and warcraft have managed to become huge hits, born from the hard work of several people over at blizzard. So what if they stole a few visual aspects? They deserve just as much respect for building an entire universe distinctly seperate from wh40k.
Not bad, I liek it, the history is coming good, nice warfare
ReplyDeletelol, My name is Valmir not Vladimir. And i'm just saying its more original than any of blizzards stuff. If you visit games-workshop, they do lord of the rings miniatures and stuff. I never said they didnt work their ass off and hit massive popularity. I was just making it a known fact that warcraft and starcraft were born out of bad relations between blizzard and Games-Workshop. But yes, down to its fantasy basics, everything has a base in Dungeons and Dragons, the original RPG. And i gave blizzard credit where credit was due. I was just stating the reasons why I liked warhammer fantasy, and warhammer 40k, over warcraft and starcraft. One of the bigger things I noticed between them, is the story behind warcraft is very vague and basic. (from the books and reviews ive read) and Warhammer always evolves in some way, I never said they dont copy Ideas themselves, I simply stated that they came before blizzards stuff. The stories for warhammer have the deepest plots of betrayals, violence, action sequences, suspense and horror that I have ever read. Which was the selling point for me. I read a few Warcraft books and they were all far too plain, where I could actually be immersed in a story from the warhammer and warhammer 40k universe. (I recommend Dan Abnett as a good literature starting point, as he is a god of writing.) I give credit to blizzard for making a hugely successful game, and becoming a world wide phenomenon. While I give warhammer its credit for its unique and evolving story, they always add new things, always add new strategies. It just has evolved more noticeably than Starcraft and them. I may seem to come off with an Air of superiority, when i'm just trying to state my opinion freely and state my reasons. And you realize that Warhammer Fantasy and Warhammer 40,000 are from the same damn company? 40k is the future fantasy, while they have warhammer fantasy for the sword and shield fantasy, they did that on purpose.
ReplyDeleteholy crud I typed alot >.> Sorry about that.
ReplyDeleteHmm, looks like the Princesses are still worshiped by the Koprulu ponies as goddesses so I'm guessing that by the time Twilight was sent to they're dead. Without them Equestria underwent a series of revolutions until eventually they formed the UED and packed a bunch of undesireables onto starships.
ReplyDeleteOr something like that.
>“Wrath of Luna’s dick incomin’!”
ReplyDeletePFFFFAHAHAHAHAHHA
Well yes Vlamir (I tend not to notice slight differences in spelling) I did realize fantasy and 40k came from the same company. Having the same IP attached to them, I'd assume that would be quite obvious.
ReplyDeleteBlizzard titles are more about the game play. That has always been their focus. Games workshop aims for inducing awe in their audience and building up a feeling of being immersed in something so much bigger than them. They purposely create fanboys through the back story so they sell more figurines. Its what D&D was about, escapism.
In the end they're two different companies excelling(well.. maybe blizzard is starting to go downhill a bit) at two different mediums with two different methods at achieving the same goal, moolah.
So it's really irrelevant to go around claiming something is "original" and everything else is a "ripoff" of it. Doing so is asking for trouble.
That said, I'm glad you're a lot more reasonable than many of the warhammer fanatics I've seen, so let us both shut up because we're creating a bastion of negativity on a site about multicolored ponies on a journey of friendship. I think you and I can both agree that Ponies=Win
@Valmir_R0yalGuArd
ReplyDeleteI understand what you are saying. Now what I'm saying is StarCraft is awesome... Warhammer is awesome too... Let's just play some dang games. :)
@ZarPaulus
I was worried this may cause some confusion, but don't worry! I have a plan for all that, I'm not shooting into the dark with whatever my mind tells my hands to type- I've put a layout and backstory to the whole thing! :D
looks like some jackass made a fanart about this
ReplyDeletehttp://freefox.deviantart.com/art/Twilight-ghost-252921356
Grrr... When is the next chapter going to be out...
ReplyDeleteIs there anyway I can contact the Author?
ReplyDeleteI will release the next chapter soon, I've been taking some time to improve my writing skills before finishing chapter 3. So look alive, 'cus I'm finishing it now. :)
ReplyDeleteI loved the scene with the Firehorse and Hydralisk, waiting eagerly for Part 3.
ReplyDeleteI don't know, as much I love Starcraft, and how I've gotten into MLP recently, the humans being ponies just.... weirds me out for some reason, does that mean the Protoss and Zerg are also gonna be ponies? (only read chapter 1 at this point), I think it would've been more interesting had they stayed humans and such, but I suppose beggars can't be choosers :-/
ReplyDeleteMOAR, DAMMIT
ReplyDeleteI've just finished the second chapter and I#m impressed.
ReplyDeleteStarcraft (as well es warcraft)always impressed my and since I'm now totally addicted to ponies, I was curious to see how the can combine. (To be honest, i thought about doing a SC/Pony-Crossover myslef, but both my english and my writing skills need much improvement)
Seeing the terrans turned into ponies is really funne. I have no problem visualize them as Space Marines. Actually, they would look as badass as humans, if not more. Zerg seem to be still some freaking aliens. I'm kinda excited how the Protoss will turn out :D
Since I just started reading novels in english rather than my "actual" language (german), I think it's really good to read. I'm glad it's not too .... "fluffy" overall wich makes it easier for me, even though it seems flat for other people. I read quite a lot (I think) end even wether there were better stories, there also where much worse.
The only thing that bugs me too was the change of the perspective, as mentioned by others before. I appreciate the fact, that you (chambers) want to explain some things, though.
Now I'm not sure if I had another version than some others here (looks like it got revised at some point) but for me it doesn't seemde like Twilight knew all the technic used there. More like some things were just explained for the reader. (Coming back to the changing perspectives)
And yep, Space Marines are armed with Gauss-rifles rather than machine guns. (Gauss-rifles fire magnetically accelerated rounds, wich means they don't need gunpowder and therefore can even be fired in otuer space or in atmospheres lacking oxygen )
Other than that, I really want to see the next chapter. The sooner, the better.
Oh, and one last thing concerning the "F-Bomb": I don't see any problem in "dropping" it. They have war out there, ponies and aliens aside are ripped apart, exploding into gore and clouds of blood and some one really is concerned about swearing? COME ON, what's wrong with that?? This goes especially at KShrike. Who cares for the (Irreproducible) rating of a game if good ponies are dying out there??
And another last thing to Vladimir (Valmir): This is Starcraft, not Warhammer, okay? If you want Warhammer, then you are wrong here. I like WH40K, itÄs amazing, but it's not SC. If you're jealous about SC's success, that's fine but please do this elsewhere. Thanks!