[Adventure]
Author: Stormchaser
Description:Spirits of Harmony all parts below! (New Chapter 8!)
The Elements of Harmony used to be a myth, a half-remembered name from a dozen ancient legends, but Twilight Sparkle and her friends have more reason to believe in myths than any other living pony. When the Elements gain a voice of their own, the newest saviours of Equestria discover an entire world inside of them – a world built of dreams, in which dwell the echoes of past heroes. Though history has forgotten their names and deeds, the Elements remember, and the Elements will tell their stories.
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
Additional Tags: Long, Adventure, Elements, Friendship, Dream-Sequence
55 comments:
So, you decided to cut the chapters into more chapters? Good. I told you this would go up!
ReplyDeleteNow, just hope that nopony trolls this with anything less than 5-stars. This is a 6-star story.
Read it.
:D
ReplyDeleteOnly read part 1 so far, but I'm hooked. Awesome idea, and you seem to be handling it well so far.
ReplyDeleteWhy so many chapters from the previous two...
ReplyDeleteOh right, the story. Excellent read.
This is going into my "Must Reads" folder for later.
ReplyDeleteTOO MANY STORIES, CAN'T READ THEM ALL, GNNNNNNNNNNN
ReplyDeleteExcellent!
ReplyDeletePerfectly pitched, thoughtful and very well-written!
Not to mention the fact that you introduced some genuinely cool OCs into the mix.
Really impressive! Keep up the very good work!
Oh yeah, oh yeah, Spirits of Harmony baby! :D
ReplyDeleteSo you split the chapters up? Darn, that means there's nothing new! I impatiently await more! (Hoping to see it on ponychan first!)
Dam, son. This was so awesome that I soiled my pants. Then did a triple backflip. Then went skydiving without a parachute. And then typed this reply.
ReplyDeleteSpoilers.
ReplyDeleteWell, that certainly was an enjoyable read. Bit much to go through all at once maybe, I hope you will upload future chapters a bit more sporadically instead of all at once. Still, definitely got enthralled from chapter three on or somewhere thereabouts. Your OC ponies are well worked out.
“Well of course it isn't, darling, this is more than two hundred years ago! I won't even be born for another...”
She put her hoof on her chin. Everyone leaned in expectantly. The unicorn noticed them, and frowned disapprovingly.
“... vast majority of it.”
And that bit was hilarious. Also, nice little nudge towards Dangerous Business there :)
I'll be waiting for future chapters.
All of my god damn starts.
ReplyDeleteAs there's no way to 'bump' the story, I do wish the pre-reader(s) would have had the foresight to add a "it's huge but SO worth it" comment, considering the bulk of it's release.
@Baree
ReplyDeleteDangerous Business? I might have accidentally made a reference I know nothing about... XD
@Stormchaser
ReplyDeleteSomething about a far off land where creatures three times the size of ponies form herds and stampede?
thank god i dont goto school, i can read all the fucking fanfic i want
ReplyDelete@Baree
ReplyDeleteOh, that was a reference to the buffalo :)
@Stormchaser
ReplyDeleteAh... Darn it, I like the idea of Dangerous Business better :P
Nevertheless... Little Strongheart is awesome.
Fantastic idea and fantastic execution. I love these OC ponies you created and I'm looking forward to reading about the next couple of groups of them.
ReplyDeleteHowever, there is still one other non-OC pony who is known to have wielded the Elements of Harmony. If the stories are being told in reverse chronological order, as it seems, that means we're going to hear that story last. I'm _super_ looking forward to that one... :)
@Bryan
ReplyDeleteYou mean Celestia's tale? Somehow I doubt that's the beginning of the Elements of Harmony's tale, though it might be one of the few times where an alicorn actually weilded them.
One thing that might be an interesting inter-series link would be whether the Elements were ever related to the Rainbow of Light though, given that's what the battle use of them seems to resemble.
This story is an example of an OC-centric tale well done.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you will continue the good works!
Well that was a bust.
ReplyDeleteThat is, the first chapter is pretty interesting. It's about eh Mane 6 with a bit of a mystery and it kept me reading....then at the end of the chapter it does a face heel turn and starting at the second one it's about OC ponies....in a war at that?
Bleh. If you're going to have a framing device like that, DON'T take so long to get there, and make it a bit more obvious in the story decription.
This is really excellent. It's a great blend of humour, adventure and drama. Well deserving of 5/5 :)
ReplyDelete@Bryan @Ghrathryn
ReplyDeleteI've made a conscious decision, at least at this point, NOT to explore the War of Sun and Moon. There's already a number of stories that explore "what really happened" back then - I don't want to commit myself to retreading ground already covered. If people like the stories that come after this one, though, and really want me to write about it, I have an easy story mechanism for allowing that to happen.
@Melodia
That's your opinion, and I respect you for it. I knew that an OC-centric tale was never going to be to everyone's tastes.
@Stormchaser
ReplyDeleteI'd actually be more interested in things prior to Celestia's use of them in that battle to be honest. Like what the first appearance of the Elements was and who the original bearers were, the ones that actually started everything that eventually led to the Elements being stores of power and why they seem to gravitate back to the Everfree.
I've got a couple of ideas about that place that my own fic will explore if I can kick my writing back into gear, since I've done about 6 chapters on the fic and its tappered off on me.
Pegasi are going to be interesting.
ReplyDeleteIt'd be cool if there were a PRE-Nightmare story for group 3.
@Ghrathryn
ReplyDeleteI'm extremely edgy about doing stuff pre-Nightmare Moon for fear of establishing too much about Equestria's distant past. We know from Word of Faust that Celestia has a mother (and that Blueblood is a super-distant nephew on that side of her family) but that's pretty much all we know.
I did actually want to have a griffon Element-bearer, but I don't have anywhere to fit that in the current three-story run I have planned. Currently the plan is that all three groups will tell their stories, there'll be a bit of time for the Mane 6 to interact with them, exchange viewpoints and such, and the story will end. If the reaction to all of that is generally positive, and people want me to expand on the idea (maybe people will want more stories with one of the past groups - there's certainly room for it), we'll see where it goes from there.
This is all going to be based on how well the community responds to the stories. No point in writing just for myself, right? :)
Nice one so far! The characters are well developed, and I can really see these as actual 2-part episodes like the pilot.
ReplyDeleteI gotta say, I lol'd at Dash doing an eponymous 'Dashface', and then again at the wingboner. XD
Why am I so amused by wingboners?
Does anyone else notice that Google Docs auto-capitalizes pegasus but not unicorn?
ReplyDeleteRacist.
Pegasus is a specific greek deity and a proper noun, hence the capitalization.
ReplyDeletei love it, but i would like to see some pictures of the ponies
ReplyDelete@thunderstrike
ReplyDeleteWorkin' on getting some.
Well, I sadly have to say I do not like this one bit.
ReplyDeleteOkay, thatäs not entirely true. The first chapter is pretty decent, creating some neat mysteries that you want to see the solutions to... but it all plummets when the other bearers of the EoH appear.
First of all, you introduce six completely new never seen before characters at once. I tried reading through their introduction like three times, and by the end I had no idea what the first one was called or what he/she looked like. It's just way too much information.
Second, we get Celestia's tear that seems to be a second sun or something for some unexplained reson. Also, rocks can move. Well, since horses can talk...
Third, Suddenly it's about characters that don't even have names, other than "that pony from Saddle Wood". Also, there's a war for no reason. Why MUST one of the towns OWN the valley? Why can't they make it into a park or something? I don't really get it.
It's not TERRIBLE, definately not. It just isn't interesting. But it's well written and the set up in the first chapter is good. That's not enough, though.
Well, I sadly have to say I do not like this one bit.
ReplyDeleteOkay, thatäs not entirely true. The first chapter is pretty decent, creating some neat mysteries that you want to see the solutions to... but it all plummets when the other bearers of the EoH appear.
First of all, you introduce six completely new never seen before characters at once. I tried reading through their introduction like three times, and by the end I had no idea what the first one was called or what he/she looked like. It's just way too much information.
Second, we get Celestia's tear that seems to be a second sun or something for some unexplained reson. Also, rocks can move. Well, since horses can talk...
Third, Suddenly it's about characters that don't even have names, other than "that pony from Saddle Wood". Also, there's a war for no reason. Why MUST one of the towns OWN the valley? Why can't they make it into a park or something? I don't really get it.
It's not TERRIBLE, definately not. It just isn't interesting. But it's well written and the set up in the first chapter is good. That's not enough, though.
I hope to see more of this! I'm loving the story. I kind of agree the characters are being introduced too fast, but the story they tell make up for it. I really enjoyed how the bearers of the elements are really very different from one grouping to the next, brings a refreshing new look on each virtue and gives a lot of food for thought.
ReplyDeleteI love how you handled the second team being all-pegasus; I'd have reacted in the exact same way as Twilight. :)
Keep up this great work!
@Anonymous Hello! I'm not sure if I agree with most of your points, and since nobody else has replied yet I figured I might as well give it a go.
ReplyDeleteFor my part, I definitely had a clear image in my head of the new characters by the time they were actually introduced properly in the second chapter, so I don't think that's a problem with the story. Though to be fair, I tend not to obsess overmuch with physical details beyond basic coloration and build.
What's wrong with the Celestia's Tear? Makes plenty of sense as a myth, at least as much as the Elements of Harmony. And it's well grounded in classic mythology - tears of gods tend to warp reality.
Since when do the characters not have names? Not trying to be accusing here, but... how far did you read into the second chapter? Once the big-picture scene-setting ends (which was done very well, in my opinion - the fairy tale style fit excellently with the first story's nature), it's all very grounded in ponies with names and distinct personalities.
Oh, and the idea of a war not making sense really shouldn't be that confusing to anyone. It's actually quite rare for a war to be justified or sensible, but god knows we manage to get into 'em anyway. In this case, they're fighting over extraordinarily arable land which is apparently infused with magic, so... Yeah. Makes more sense than some fights we've had going on for quite some time now (not getting into politics, if possible). Ponies, like people, are not rational actors.
Sorry for being blunt, but I just don't feel your criticisms have as much merit as is ideal; I think this is a lovely story that many of this community's writers could do well to look up to if they ever decide to do an OC tale. The meta elements were kept subdued and classy, and in-jokes were kept to a minimum - the characters kept the story going, not (often pointless) references to the show or other stories.
Frankly, I felt this was superbly written and very well thought out. I greatly admired the experimentation the author did with his takes on the different Element Bearers, and also with his ability to write in different tones while maintaining story cohesion. I suppose that perhaps the former added to the interest for me; I can admit that the plot itself was not as fascinating as that of, say, Past Sins, but his handling of the archetypes that are frankly intrinsic to the idea of the Elements of Harmony was superb. Most importantly, he did all that without focusing on it - it's still very much a story, despite also being an interesting sort of deconstruction.
Alternatively, I'm seriously over-thinking this due to sleep deprivation. But I still greatly enjoyed the story, and would recommend it to anyone reading this comment.
I really appreciate everyone's input on the story. I'm also hoping I'll be able to appreciate your patience, as I'm currently getting a severe case of writer's block with the current chapter and it may be a while before I can break through it.
ReplyDelete@Stormchaser No problem! Good luck getting past your writer's block. This story is very well done and we dont want the quality to suffer. Good job so far. :)
ReplyDelete@Stormchaser
ReplyDeleteLet me suggest then, you to come to #EquestrianStudy, the writers' chat room. We often have brainstorms for people with writer's block. They are really fun too. I myself have become editor for a couple stories just by helping with the brainstorms there, and if you're looking for an editor, I'd be honored to help you with yours (click my name for contact info).
Cheers!
So Season 2 looks like it may cause serious plot clashes with Spirits of Harmony. This series is on haitus until I can check out precisely what they are and how - or if - I can resolve them. In the meantime, I'll be working on a Shadowbolts fic series and possibly expanding my Facets series of alternate character interpretations.
ReplyDeleteI apologise profusely for the inconvenience.
Spike: NOOOOOOOOO!
ReplyDeleteOn another note, you could finish it, ignoring the Season 2 plot differences... that is.... if you want to.
@Stormchaser
ReplyDeleteAww. Though I can definitely see the difficulty - unless you came up with something cleverer than I can think of offhand, you'd have to explain how Discord got re-petrified at every handoff of the Elements.
Personally, I was loving this story and would be perfectly happy to just ignore the recent new information. But if that goes against your own preferences I'll understand that too. Fortunately the section that you posted had a conclusion, and a Shadowbolts fanfic would intrigue me. :)
Nuts and shoes. Canon appears to be drifting even farther off from this fanfic - in the wake of the tale of Hearth's Warming I wouldn't be surprised if there's deeper significance to the fact that the current wielders of the Elements of Harmony are an even mix of the three pony types.
ReplyDeleteMy earlier comment still stands though, I'd be perfectly happy reading the tale of six pegasus friends regardless of the ultimate canonicity. Maybe someday. :)
@Bryan
ReplyDeleteActually, canon issues aren't really all that big. In fact, Hearth Warming's Eve didn't mess up the story at all - in fact, if anything, it supported it.
What's keeping me from writing all of this is my obsessive perfectionism and my dissatisfaction with everything I write.
The rewrite's in progress.
ReplyDeleteThe chapter links are kind of bucked up. 3 isn't a link, 4 leads to 3, and the rest skip 4. I'd really like to read this one all the way through. =/
ReplyDelete@TheGhostHybrid
ReplyDeleteUntil they fix it, Chapter IV is available here.
@Stormchaser
ReplyDeleteMuch appreciated! I shall be reading this story shortly! =)
I found this story today in the updates section, and I'm absolutely hooked. Is this on FIMFiction? Or Fanfiction.net? Somewhere where I can track it?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I love what you've done so far. Although, the element of Laughter seems to have undergone some name changes in the past, huh? It was Optimism in 'The War that Never Was', and it's Joy in the current saga.
So, I believe that in the current arc, Grey Scale is Magic (as if that weren't obvious), but I'm having a bit of trouble seeing what the other five are. Hopefully, next chapter will give some hints. If not show us outright.
@Leo Archon
ReplyDeleteApologies, but I only use GDocs. I'm glad you're enjoying the story, though! Chapter 7 has been a hell of a long time coming, but I've already started on Chapter 8 and you guys won't have to wait a month for it this time.
Wow. Other than having forgotten all the names, it's like I never stopped reading this story. This is really one of those fics that sticks with you, for all the... Probably half a year since I last saw an update for this. :D So I think chapter 7 is where I left off, maybe? (The last time I saw this, it was in three parts, but you've split it up since then.)
ReplyDeleteActually, scratch that; I need to go back to chapter 6 because I'm pretty sure Grey Scale had a different name last I saw this. <.<
Minty Fresh? XD Wahahaha! This is all so very Full Metal Jacket, but it's a clever homage.
Oh wow, everything's changed! That first scene was more or less like I remember it (you took something off the very beginning, I think), but this is all brand new! Sunny is very Fluttershy though. Prism is way more of a dick now, I think.
Ah yes, and here, I believe, is the scene moved from the opening. It's a little harder taking at face value what Rain Shadow says about Grey when we don't see her painting first thing, but with this moved, the chapter opens up much quicker.
Rain's argument is one I've wrestled with myself, quite often. You gotta get your name out there, doing things that will get you attention, and then you can do whatever you want.
Despite her introduction as being more of a Fluttershy clone, Sunbeam is striking me as a much better character than she used to be. To chapter 7!
Well, if that isn't a howdy-do. @_@
Grey Scale's a lot better, too. The lack of storm phobia was a good move on your part.
The little bits of season two coming into this; you had far more leeway than many. You're very lucky that way.
Yeah, this is resolving itself far better than the previous iteration. Good use of the griffons there!
One thing to note: It wasn't obvious that Princess Luna or Nightmare Moon was in fact Celestia's sister. I think that's an oversight.
Awesome. Excellent work cleaning this up. I didn't think at the time it was needed, but I can see now that it was. :) Everything's been improved.
Uh-oh! Gray was ignoring her own fatigue. That's not good. She should have gotten some rest, rather than keeping watch.
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping the group manages to find her and get to the Elements in time... what am I saying, of course they will! The last story had a happy ending!
And now it's time to catch up. :D
ReplyDeleteSomething tells me these dreams are going to tie into Grey Scale being the Element of Magic.
"Pack a lunch!" Oh boy, I don't think that'll quite be enough.
Dahh, so hard to pick elements for these six!
I like the bit about pegasi being very clean. That's quite birdlike, I think.
...Wait, what the hell happened? O.o
Great story, glad I kept track of it when I saw the update go by a month or so back.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to more.
Damn, it's really inconvenient to read stories on GoogleDocs. Why not put it on FimFiction.Net or somewhere like that?
ReplyDelete@xonxt
ReplyDeleteBecause someone on FimFic ganked my username and when I contacted FimFic about it, they never wrote back.
How's the story going so far? Any idea when more is getting posted?
ReplyDelete