• Story: Rarity's Rodeo


    [Normal][Shipping] Rarijack!

    Author: Somber
    Description: The Equestria Wide Open Rodeo's come to Ponyville, and Twilight
    Sparkle recalls a dare made to a certain fashionista.
    Rarity's Rodeo

    Additional Tags: Um... romance? Nuzzles? Dialogue? Bull riding

    95 kommentaari:

    1. Aha! The nearly forgotten game of Truth or Dare finally sees light!

      VastaKustuta
    2. It would be a lot easier to read this if there weren't people editing it. (changing fonts, colors, etc) You might want to look into locking it.

      VastaKustuta
    3. There's actually a link on FF.net

      VastaKustuta
    4. Dave Mustang, the cynical Brony16. juuli 2011, kell 21:18

      My god, this continuity nod is so big it knocked the planet out of orbit!

      VastaKustuta
    5. I froze editing for the time being since it seems like too many folks were playing. And I'm sorry Dave. I just write what I can.

      VastaKustuta
    6. Dave Mustang, the cynical Brony16. juuli 2011, kell 21:25

      @Somber
      Meh, it's okay, you honestly should just ignore anything I say, cause I'm only like 80% of the time serious.

      VastaKustuta
    7. I don't really like how quick it goes but my alternative was to make it into three stories which would take forever and I have other things I have to write and... ::Curls up fetal again::

      VastaKustuta
    8. Well, if even the tags don't know what's going on this must be an intriguing story. I'll have to read it.

      VastaKustuta
    9. Dave Mustang, the cynical Brony16. juuli 2011, kell 21:29

      @Somber
      Don't beat yourself up. I don't read fanfiction. So anything I say doesn't matter.

      VastaKustuta
    10. Yup, Dave is a total troll. Do your best to just view his posts as jokes, and he's actually a pretty cool guy.

      VastaKustuta
    11. Yeah, and Dave at least has good taste in music.

      As for the story, Somber-calibur (Definition: Grammar and vocabulary is above average, and character development is taken above and beyond the call of duty). It's brilliant. I surprisingly forgot about Simply Rarity, and this fic brought memories of it crashing back. Characters felt in character, the pacing was brilliant, and the shipping itself didn't feel forced. I only found a few grammar mistakes, but that might be from the editing people.

      All in all, wonderful. 5/5 stars. So, get out of that fetal postion and start writing more fics! >:D

      VastaKustuta
    12. I agree with Asgard, this is definitely well written and deserves 5/5 stars! Great job!

      VastaKustuta
    13. Cute little story, centered around my favorite pairing. I approve!

      VastaKustuta
    14. They so need to tackle this concept in an actual episode.

      VastaKustuta
    15. The rodeo or the shipping? Cause I don't see hasbro okaying one of those.

      VastaKustuta
    16. That felt very much like an episode, aside from the warm and fuzzy shipping. Well written, well characterized, and excellent humor. Thanks for the great story!

      VastaKustuta
    17. I normaly avoid applejack rarity ships, but holy crap this was awesome! Well written in character around 80% a few typos but nothing serious except that last paragragh that needs to be fixed.

      Awesone fic :)

      VastaKustuta
    18. The callback to Simply Rarity was like a punch in the gut... but I'm okay with that, if that makes sense; SR is in my top ten FiM fanfics. (It would have made sense even without the subtle reference, which is the way to do it.)

      I'll have to read the rest of your stories, Somber. Luckily I have EqD to give me their locations.

      VastaKustuta
    19. was really good but that conclusion embodies everything I hate about the modern notion of romantic love. Throwing away her career is still throwing away her career. Sure she may have an honest love with AJ but eventually that neglect of self actualization will catch up to her eventually, and no amount of romance can drown out that feeling of regret. Plus, that's a heck of an either/or situation. could easily work out for both of them if they take a minute to figure out how to fit both their goals in.

      but that's all I really had a problem with still gave it 4 stars.

      VastaKustuta
    20. don't get me wrong, it's something that can be worth making sacrifices for, but not something to turn yourself into a martyr over.

      VastaKustuta
    21. "Suddenly the miniature mariachi found him surrounded by a gaggle of girls going gaga over his geniality."

      I had to read that last word twice.

      VastaKustuta
    22. I am not a fan of shipping but I really liked this story. It made a tear swell up in my eye. =)

      VastaKustuta
    23. Did someone leak that RarityxApplejack is my ultimate weakness or what? I swear, that's all I've seen this past week. Then again, I tend to have selective vision :P

      Well, instant 4-star for the pairing, and +1 for putting it in a great story. I especially like how the other characters were still present throughout and had their own little escapades; it was a very nice touch.

      VastaKustuta
    24. (looks at illustration) That mud must be "imported". :D

      VastaKustuta
    25. @Adrian Brony

      Rarity's not giving up her career. She's modifying her career to suit both Applejack and her love of sewing. She's also reassuring Applejack that she doesn't have to become a big Manehattan muckity muck designer in order to be happy. That she could be happy with both worlds.

      I'm sorry that I didn't do a better job. I hoped that I made Rarity seem able to make both work so long as she had both. So sorry.

      VastaKustuta
    26. @Somber
      ohhh. they way it was written I thought rarity was saying she planned to just stay in ponyville, freezing her career to never expand in the process.

      It was probably my fault. I tend to misunderstand things a lot.

      VastaKustuta
    27. I loved this very much

      VastaKustuta
    28. This is a good rodeo.

      VastaKustuta
    29. great story!

      although if anyone wonders what rarity meant by "something uniqe", then i'm pretty sure that somber is refering to this story:

      http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/06/story-simply-rarity.html

      can't say i know for sure but it does seem waaaay beyond coincidence with that exact use of words...

      VastaKustuta
    30. @Anonymous

      just noticed that somber is the author of that story aswell so yes, there is no doupt that he/she is refering to that story.

      greatly recommend reading it!

      VastaKustuta
    31. I was having a great time reading this, until the "something unique" part. Then I noticed the author (Somber), and it felt like a truck backed over me. Then I was having an amazing time reading this. I wish I could give you seven stars for this and Simply Rarity, but five will suffice for now. Keep up the good work!

      VastaKustuta
    32. I will love more rarijack fics, i think there are only 3.

      VastaKustuta
    33. Rarijack > AppleDash

      Really well done!

      VastaKustuta
    34. 5 stars, loved it. I was already impressed by the characterization of Rarity and her reasons for running the rodeo, but the reference to 'something unique' just made everything hit home so much harder. It also helps that I love the pairing perhaps more than any other pairing out there.

      Plus, there was the fact that the majority of the fic focused on self-improvement (loved the training montage!), and the shipping aspect bloomed out of that as more of a 'I want to give this a shot' rather than them secretly always being in love with one or another. Subtle and realistic.

      VastaKustuta
    35. I really liked the connection to the story "Simply Rarity" it gave the whole thing a lot more depth. However Applejack was missing a bit of characterization in comparison.

      One thing that irked me a bit, was that the one time you actually used the word "love" in the last paragraph and basically the most important sentence in the story: you wrote "loed" instead of "loved". Everything else was perfectly written and I wouldn't have minded any errors anywhere else. But the only one typo I could find and it just had to be in the most important word in the whole story ^^

      VastaKustuta
    36. The story felt a little rushed at times - the training montage successfully adapted the writing style, but the description of the rodeo lacked a bit of flavour. Nonetheless, AjxRarity is my favourite ship and I thoroughly enjoyed this story, it was much better than all the 'they were in ove all along' shipping fics. Without the shipping, it'd make a pretty good episode too.

      VastaKustuta
    37. Nice work. I love the way this reads. The training montage section made me chuckle. I didn't notice and grammar errors as I read it, and I can only remember seeing one spelling mistake, though I forget what it was.

      Some parts did seem a little rushed, in the sense that they were short seemed to pass by quickly. You did a good job keeping the characters personalities in check, considering you included shipping.

      VastaKustuta
    38. Normally shipping the mane six with anyone irks me (with very few exceptions) and shipping between the mane six drives me up the goddamn wall, so I was about to disregard this one before I saw the author. "Well, even if it is shipping," methinks, "it's Somber, how bad can it be?" And you know, it wasn't. I thoroughly enjoyed every part of this but the shipping, which wasn't a big part of it anyway, but even then when it actually came to it, I didn't hate it. I know I should have, but I didn't. Well done.

      Just to be sure though, good as this was, this isn't going to become part of your continuity is it? I can stand shipping in short, controlled, self-contained bursts, but I know your other fics like Perils of the Past, Blood Sweat and Tears, and Simply Rarity (sweet Celestia, Simply Rarity) all take place in the same universe and build on each other to an extent and while it wouldn't stop me reading ongoing fics like Perils or future fics, I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't sully my enjoyment of them somewhat, which is kind of a shame in itself, because the rodeo sans-shipping would be a fine addition to the continuity.

      Anyway, enough rambling. Fine job as always, Somber.

      VastaKustuta
    39. Once again Somber, you've written an amazing story. I'm loving this expansion you're performing with your stories. Another 5 Star piece.

      VastaKustuta
    40. Very episodic. characters are well done. Plot was classic cartoon style and the dialouge was great, five stars.

      VastaKustuta
    41. Wow! Thank you so much for your comments. Sometimes they're the only thing that keeps me moving.

      I mentioned to a friend that I am scared to death to write shipping. They promptly called me a chicken and dared me to write one. Nopony calls me a chicken (Even if I am one) so this was the result. The characterization focuses more on Rarity then AJ. After all she's in the title. If I were mad enough to continue, I would do the next focusing on AJ and so on.

      Also, most of my stories build on earlier stories because otherwise I would hate Rarity. Really. As she is in the series I find her vain, shallow, petty, and a bit of a bully. I can only make her work for me through the lens of Simply Rarity. Same with AJ. Will this carry through to Perils? Probably not. This is why I'm scared to writing shipping because I dunno if it will.

      Anyway, sorry some folks played while editing was open. I'll brush it again. Thanks for the comments! Good or bad, they mean the world to me.

      VastaKustuta
    42. Heh. You know that so far I have been pretty much gushing with praise for your work. So in a way, I am glad I finally found something of your hooves that I can be a little bit more reserved about. If I only ever am full of praise, what meaning does that praise have?

      This was ok. Slightly above average shipping fic. Pacing was... a bit hit and miss, really. It seems you try to take your time, which is good, but at times it does feel a bit rushed. The scene where AJ and Rarity talk about why she visits spas for example. AJ's reaction to the unicorn's nuzzle seems a bit extreme and feels a bit forced. Still, at the end of the day its still a one shot short story, so there is only so much time you can give them you know. I do like your version of Rarity and the motivation you give her. That works.

      I think the main problem is, there is very little these apparent mutual feelings are based on. Of course, this goes for a lot of shipping fics, especially one shots.

      Ignoring the shipping aspect though, the beginning of the story was very good. Rarity's training was funny and well done. I actually saw it play out in my head, as if it was an actual episode. Mainly due to your style of writing there, that worked really well. The cheating... Some of those things seem a bit hard to miss, feels like somepony should have noticed that before. Not just Rarity. Rarity winning... It just wasn't necessary. There are always cliché reasons to allow her to win, but in the end it just adds a level of unrealism to the story. Still, that doesn't really bother me to much. Just saying you could have made her third or something.

      All in all... This is my least favourite of your work. Not because its so bad, I said this is a slightly above average shipping fic and I meant it, but because your other work is so good. Two ways to go from here: Either you enjoyed writing it (but judging from your comments I think shipping might not be your favourite genre) in which case I say, keep at it. Or, if as I suspect you prefer to write normal and/or sad, do that instead. Judging from this story, shipping isn't your forte. Which again does not mean you're terrible at it, just that you're better at the stuff you have written so far ^^

      VastaKustuta
    43. P.S.: One thing I wanted to say but forgot... Any artists out there who sometimes draws art based on fics... Please draw Rainbow in the outfit Rarity made for her in this fic... It sounds... so... awesome.

      VastaKustuta
    44. Can someone give me a spoiler of

      http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/06/story-simply-rarity.html

      so I don't have to plow through that one? I just want to know the back story.

      VastaKustuta
    45. Actually, between the rodeo and Simply Rarity callbacks, I can't help but love this story. The characters were all very much in character, and the scenes you put together with them work beautifully.

      I could -so- see Twilight getting roped while busy trying to explain the physics behind it. :D

      VastaKustuta
    46. i think somepony around here missed a perfectly good "lassoed into love" joke.

      VastaKustuta
    47. This story is good enough to be a real episode!
      Without the shipping, that is. But I read this because of that, mostly

      Absolutely amazing. Some grammar errors here and there [or I'm not that good in English] but I manage to let out a tear near the end

      Awesome job!

      VastaKustuta
    48. So, I was reading this. And I saw "something unique" and my eyes instantly watered up. And I wasn't sure if it intentional, so I basically dropped everything in the story and went and checked who wrote it.

      And then I realized that it was.

      I hadn't felt a punch in the stomach that hard since I was most of the way through Words are Louder and I realized that it took place in the same continuity as Sunset.

      And I have to say, this combined continuity makes every story you write stronger so far. There is the obvious Simply Rarity connection that makes her drive to succeed that much more profound, but with that also comes the logical Blood Sweat and Tears connection (and that one scene in particular) which makes Applejack and Rarity overcoming their obvious differences seem so much stronger than it would be if this was standalone.









      That being said, I do have a few criticisms.

      The shipping in this story doesn't really contribute much of anything to it. The story without it would make a perfectly good [Normal] story, and when it shows up it seems abrupt and rather heavy handed.
      It almost seems like the point of the story was originally just Applejack and Rarity becoming much closer friends (like what happened in Look Before You Sleep, actually), and it was decided after it was already written to outright ship them rather than just make them more understanding/friendly with each other. I wouldn't go so far as to say that it hurts the story, but I will say that it comes close to doing so.

      Diamondback is also a disappointingly flat character, with an almost Dick Dastardly aura to her in how she acts and reacts to the things in the story.

      Finally, Rarity winning the rodeo seems like an unnecessary (and, dare I say it, cliched) way of ending the story. Rarity would be good, I'm sure, and I can imagine her placing relatively well in the contest when all is said and done.
      But I think it would have been better for the story (and probably more realistic) had she scored a podium or something, with her friends still being proud of her accomplishments. Its easy to be proud of a winner, so having Rarity actually be the winner kind of weakens the impact somewhat. Especially since Diamondback was already unmasked as cheating to win the final event, so Rarity didn't need to win to be the better Pony between the two.

      VastaKustuta
    49. This would be the best episode ever... 5/5 stars. I didn't expect to like this one so much, but I might have a new favorite shipping...

      VastaKustuta
    50. @Baree

      Thanks. This was my first attempt to ship characters (characters that I've all ready tweaked) and it was awkward. I only did it for a dare. I've felt guilty for not finishing perils' latest chapter so I needed to get this done and off to print.

      Rarity winning. ::sigh:: I originally had Diamondback winning and Rarity getting a lesser award but... sigh... I don't like bad guys to win. And Diamondback IS a card carrying unsympathetic antagonist. I don't really explore why she's such a pill. She's really there to put a shine on the rest of the mane cast and add some conflict.

      I also can slow down the relationship as I'd all ready planned.

      What do you think... should I go back and flesh this out some more or stick a fork in it and go to other projects?

      VastaKustuta
    51. July 17, 2011 8:02 AM

      Okay, so, I read it. Only thing I can say F*ck you author.

      That means it was good, now you're going to write something happy. Yes more happy then this one.

      VastaKustuta
    52. @Somber

      I think you should do what you want to do. The story would more then likely benefit from it. But if you would do it unwillingly because you don't care for the genre (or for any other reason) there is no point. The last thing any of us here want is you loosing the will to write because you keep doing something you don't really want to do.

      Of course, if it is something you would like to do, its a different story.

      VastaKustuta
    53. @Somber As for Diamondback winning... You don't have to even give the winners a name you know. Just say Rarity got 3rd or 4th place or whatever. Let her enjoy a smaller trophy and leave it at that.

      VastaKustuta
    54. I don't see any problems with Rarity's win in this story. After all it's just the reward for best effort in effect. Hell, she could have had the worst score in the rodeo, and still be given the best effort award as long as everypony can see that she's completely out of her element and yet still trying her best to compete.

      The only complaint I have is the constant editing whilst I'm trying to read. This is one reason I dislike Google docs as a publishing medium.

      VastaKustuta
    55. Another story and another one where I'm reaching for the tissues. A really lovely story.. My only grip would have been I would like to have know what happened in Rarity's past. 5/5 tho!

      VastaKustuta
    56. Okies. I went and actually gave Diamondback some character motivation, adjusted the win, and toned down some of the smoochies.

      I am keeping her riding into the sunset though! I need my cheese!

      VastaKustuta
    57. I love that their words are coming back to haunt them. This is a great thing to write a story about.

      "It's a gift!" Marvelous.

      That they're equals in regards to their respective businesses, that's a fantastic bit of characterization, and it's absolutely true too.

      The training montage is a little awkward, kind of rapid-fire bullet points, though it does read as a montage, so that's something. Though I love the fake spider.

      "We were talkin' about mud! Mud, ya hear?" Some of this dialogue is just fantastic! And I really hope somepony does fanart of Rarity's rodeo getup. I NEED TO SEE THIS. Wait, make that ALL THEIR RODEO GETUPS. (Especially Pinkie Pie.) Confound these ponies, they drive me to care about fashion!

      I'm liking Diamondback. I'm also really glad that they all seem to have something they can do at the rodeo. Lends a lot of atmosphere to the setting, too!

      BOVINE. FASHION. This is too much! Pinkie and the power of burping! That's amazing. Rarity's comparisons of all things rodeo to all things sewing would be cheesy, except that it's so damned clever.

      The kiss! I didn't think AJ would make the first move! And then she's all "WHAT?" at her friends, that's hilarious.

      Chili, the musical.

      Ffff, I absolutely love the last scene with Diamondback and Rarity. That's a good character you made.

      I just love the whole ending. You took my two least favorites and wrote a damn good story with a damned believable ship for them. And that, in my book, deserves five stars.

      VastaKustuta
    58. This would be an amazing epsiode idea (you know, with out the whole shipping aspect).

      VastaKustuta
    59. I agree pretty much wholeheartedly with Tenchifreak5's criticisms, especially on the unnecessary shipping, this story would've been fine without it, in fact I would go so far as to argue that it would've probably been better since it seems more like an afterthought and dulls what was a pretty interesting read.

      VastaKustuta
    60. This was absolutely BEAUTIFUL! TwT

      I just loved every second of it! At the end, I felt the tears well up, but they didn't come out. Curse my tearducts for not giving such greatness proper respect and adoration! TwT

      VastaKustuta
    61. Pretty much everything I want to say has already been said, so to summarize:
      Amazing story, 5 stars, I usually don't like Rarity stories but this one was fantastic, and the reference to Simply Rarity not only made the entire story feel like it had more depth, but provided a brilliant explanation for Rarity's motivation.

      VastaKustuta
    62. Amazing story, very much in the spirit of the episodes with the training montage (LOL!) and Spike stealing Snips' and Snails' autographed picture.

      VastaKustuta
    63. You're too hard on yourself. This was absolutely wonderful!

      VastaKustuta
    64. Oh, I also forget to ask....

      Did Rainbow get those darn bottles in the end? *Grin*

      VastaKustuta
    65. @Baree Of course. That's why she left the rodeo with a wagon of stuffed prizes.

      VastaKustuta
    66. For the love of Celestia somepony PLEASE draw Rarity in the outfit described in this fic.

      Also, very very good fic. Well done.

      VastaKustuta
    67. I really wish the majority of this fandom didn't have such a negative view on shipping, even in its lightest sense - I completely disagree with the comments that this fic could've done with the ship. It was realistic and sweet, and not too rushed. Overall, I thought this was wonderfully done. Somber, you said you were nervous about writing this kind of fic - you needn't be. Everypony seemed to be in-character, at least to me, and I love this Rarity that you've created. Truth be told I actually really like her character in the show, prissiness aside, but yours strikes a chord with me. I know this is probably a one-shot, but I would love to see this continued on in more of your work. You're an excellent writer, and I'd love the chance to see what you could do with the setup here. That's not to say I'm not looking forward to whatever you do next, though! : )

      VastaKustuta
    68. ..."without the ship." Thank you, phone. Thank you.

      VastaKustuta
    69. I liked this. The montage was great, and Diamondback was well done as an antagonist. The shipping was a little awkwardly placed but very sweet. Think I'm going to have to read your other work now.

      VastaKustuta
    70. That was easily my favourite non-comedic shipping story involving Applejack or Rarity I've read. Top stuff.

      VastaKustuta
    71. @Shannon

      At least in my case, it has nothing to do with a bias against shipping. I read nearly every story that goes up on the site, and ship fics represent 2 of my current Top 5 (3rd place and 4th place, if you're wondering).

      It simply had to do with the fact that I simply don't think it was carried well in this story, mostly because it generally didn't even really seem like shipping is what the story was trying to do in the first place.

      VastaKustuta
    72. I don't know but I kind of liked the original version of this story more. But hey that's just me.

      VastaKustuta
    73. A beautiful story, very well done as always. Like everyone said, very episodic feel to it, minus the shipping.
      And I must say damn you sir! Now I have one more reason why my RariJack fic won't be as unique (no reference intended... *shudder*)as it would've been a week ago.

      VastaKustuta
    74. This is how shipping is done! I'm glad you found a way for Rarity to win something without showing up the pros. "Good for a first timer" is a perfect award in my book -- especially given she had AJ as a coach.

      Now, there were some issues. The events, with the cheating and un-cheating, seemed pretty threadbare to me. The training montage was fine to handle this way, but the actual events could have used... more. And it felt a little weird for Rarity, un-athletic first-timer, to be nipping at Diamondback's heels. I'd have liked to see her performance be a bit "swingier" -- great on events that emphasize grace or (like the cutting) where she could bypass with charm, but terrible on anything involving speed or strength. You did that to some degree, but there were several events I thought she should have sucked at more -- like the calf haul.

      There were a couple of tense issues. The biggest one that jumped out at me was in the final bit where you had "rest" twice instead of "rested". You had the occasional stray space in "Diamond back", too.

      Still, very enjoyable. I really want someone to draw Rarity's cowgirl outfit now. It sounds awesome. :)

      VastaKustuta
    75. You know what would have been an adorable event? A 4-H calf scramble.
      "Cutie Mark Crusader Calf Collectors, YAY!"

      VastaKustuta
    76. ::clenches eyes shut...:: Now I have an idea for a Diamondback fic.... ARRRGH! No Somber! OC pony stories BAD!

      VastaKustuta
    77. Wow! I usually avoid shipping-centric stories, but the premise here interested me enough to give it a chance...and I'm glad I did! Seconding the "Shipping done right" sentiment: The shipping was an element of the story, but not the total focus, and the concepts and "real show" like focuses made it all stand out.

      Good job! Shipping or otherwise, hope to see more from you.

      VastaKustuta
    78. Whoo! Just started reading this (and I'll finish hopefully tomorrow... yes, I am the world's slowest reader). Applejack/Rarity is always a treat, and the premise for this fanfic is awesome. Love the way you've brought back that old dare.

      Your mastery of the character's voices is enviable. You manage causal turns of phrase that I wish I could have thought of. Probably my favorite is "Well stripe my mane and call me a zebra". That is a perfect MLP expression for Applejack. I can see and hear her saying that so vividly that it left me in awe.

      "Habazawha?" was another perfect line, this time for Rarity. Again, I wish I could capture these character's voices the way you do.

      I absolutely will end up stealing "slightly incensed laugh". It's a wonderfully evocative phrase that nails perfectly some of the expressions we have seen on the show.

      Compliments on the montage. Very nicely done. Loved Rarity and the lasso. Also loved the deliciously awkward post-nuzzle scene ending.

      Applejack/Rarity is such a delightful ship. And I'm loving what I've read so far.

      VastaKustuta
    79. Finished. And this story was beautiful and delightful and all manner of perfectly executed.

      The conversation at the end was poignant, especially because everything said was quite the truth. Likewise, I loved the reactions of the others to the kiss. Especially Rainbow Dash.

      The outcome of the rodeo was very appropriate. And the conversation afterwords with Diamondback masterfully done. Diamondback's comment about who won combined the character's nastiness with a level of insight that elevated her above a cliched villain.

      And I just loved how Rarity used her charm and grace to master some of the events.

      Five Stars. Thank you for the wonderful read.

      VastaKustuta
    80. ::Squees that Khat liked the story!!::

      VastaKustuta
    81. This is an excellent story. It's a great read that has a lot of added depth if you take into account Simply Rarity and Blood, Sweat, and Tears. I wouldn't say those stories are a required read but they definitely improve the experience.

      There are many reasons why the shipping in this works well. One of the biggest reasons has to do with how you interpreted the characters. While they aren't accurate to the show (shipping just doesn't work with the show anyway) they still feel like those characters. Their most prevalent traits are still shown. These traits are then used to relate the characters in a very reasonable manner. There is no "destined to be" crap. Your stories even show quite a bit of animosity, especially in their younger years. While not specifically shown (Look Before You Sleep shows it), we can see that these characters have grown to truly care for one another after they have looked past their differences.

      It also works because it plays out very naturally. Throughout the story it is sprinkled with moments that have this underlying tension that drives the characters' actions. The emotion comes from the actions for the most part. While reading this I never felt like the characters were pawns to the story. The story grew from the characters. Each character had motivations and objectives.

      We also have to keep in mind that this is a budding romance. It isn't going to be super mushy. We have two characters who are very internal in your interpretations so it makes sense that the romance would be in short bursts. It starts with Rarity. Rarity's initial attraction is obviously caused by Applejack's honesty. Rarity's rough upbringing has led her to become wary of those around her, especially her friends. Applejack has a strong admiration for Rarity. She recognizes that she is capable of so much. Her hard work and determination in a situation that seems will end in failure no matter what is something that she can relate to.


      I really feel like more of this could be explored. I don't think you have to and you don't have to keep it as a part of your future stories. You've done a very good job and it was a very enjoyable read.

      VastaKustuta
    82. There is nothing I could say that was not already said about this story. I simply loved it!!

      I love how determained Rarity becomes. I knew I had some reason I kept liking that white mare. n.n

      And she just turns up to be awesome in everything she does. I don't need to say more. :D

      Thank you for such a fun story, I went teary eyed at the end. Truly... I also aggree ALOT with what was said posted above me by Anonymous. The story shows how strong that voilet manes mare really is. Something alot of otherpony overlook consistantly. In the show and out, she has proven herself quite a bit. That is why, she is my fav next to Twilight Sparkle. Please keep wonderful stories like this coming. I envy your talent for writing this, and the other stories you have written Somber.

      VastaKustuta
    83. Kimba the White Lion26. juuli 2011, kell 22:35

      @Somber

      Hello new favorite author (sorry Butterscotch). Great fic. This is truly the first fic I've read where the shipping is "cute", and I truly mean that. I may be one for resting heads on shoulders, but there were audible "awwwwww"s while I was reading this. Very enjoyable, although apparently there is some continuation from other fics (I read Simply Rarity today... Wow. Just wow) that I have to go now and read. Your word choice in these two stories has been perfect all the way through and how you express them. All my praise, you are atop my recommendations list.

      VastaKustuta
    84. *sniff sniff, begins slow clap*
      Well written my friend. Well written.

      VastaKustuta
    85. It's a gift.
      -Twilight Sparkle
      ...And a curse.
      -Adrian Monk

      Did anyone else see this?
      Was this even an intended reference?

      VastaKustuta
    86. Okay, you are now my favorite author.

      This and 'Simply Rarity' wear freaking amazing D;

      VastaKustuta
    87. Extremely well written my friend
      5/5 stars EASILY
      Id never think I would fall in love with an ApplejackXRarity story but you somehow managed to do it.

      I really loved the montage in the beginning where Rarity was preparing for the rodeo. I actually laughed out loud and I pictured the scenes like they were actually in the show. The only thing I didnt like was the lack of depth on the relationship between the Aj and Rarity. I was hoping for a big romantic kiss at the end but hey, thats just me
      Bravo brony
      bravo

      VastaKustuta
    88. I knew that Somber wrote the most beautiful tragedies I'd ever seen. I knew that he could write adventure, develop characters, and delve into the depths of psychology with the best. I knew that his comedy (rare as it is) is top-tier. And now, apparently, he also writes the second or third best romance I've seen.
      And all of this in the space of significantly less than a year.

      I'm not sure if the appropriate reaction is love or fear...

      VastaKustuta
    89. Autor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.

      VastaKustuta
    90. I loved this story it's definitely the best Rarity/Applejack story I've ever read and it fits together so well. I think I prefer shipping stories like this, short and self contained enough to create enough suspense to keep us reading, but not force us to wait for who know show long for every new chapter. Thanks for sharing this story with us.

      VastaKustuta
    91. " 'It was stupid and selfish, even if I did it out of love, and it cost me something…' She closed her eyes and took a breath before she finished softly, 'something unique.' "

      OH GOD NOOOOOOOO :'(

      Anyway, famtastic story ya got there, I really liked it

      VastaKustuta
    92. Dammit, just as you can get me upset to drive me to drink, you can put my soul at ease, and just enjoy... Thank you for this. Thank you.

      VastaKustuta