• Story: A Question of Protocol

    by
    [Comedy]

    Author: The Mechanic
    Description: When using magic in a prank, make very, VERY sure you aim it correctly...
    A Question of Protocol

    Additional Tags: Short
    Sunday, July 3, 2011 op
    Labels: , , , , , , , , , ,
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    39 comments:

    1. BagOfChipsJuly 3, 2011 at 4:04 PM

      Wait, a fic that isn't shipping? That's a first.

      Spike creeps me out in that picture.

      ReplyDelete
    2. R1ngmasterJ5July 3, 2011 at 4:09 PM

      That was great.

      ReplyDelete
    3. MushJuly 3, 2011 at 4:11 PM

      I lol'd

      ReplyDelete
    4. RoflLuxRayJuly 3, 2011 at 4:15 PM

      That was a good read and a good story. I really enjoyed reading it. Even though the last part was... well... enexpected, somebody was apparently taking a bath...

      ReplyDelete
    5. Darth EquusJuly 3, 2011 at 4:25 PM

      Too short, but funny concept. I like it!

      ReplyDelete
    6. Jack CloverJuly 3, 2011 at 4:41 PM

      so im interested as to whether or not celestia controlling the burping. cuz if she was it would make it even funnier(meaning that she was being trollestia here)

      ReplyDelete
    7. SurogunerJuly 3, 2011 at 4:45 PM

      needs more story. It's too silly to end right there.

      ReplyDelete
    8. AnonymousJuly 3, 2011 at 4:57 PM

      Sweet a Spike story!!! I like the picture.

      A nice and fun story overall. I felt sorry for Spike, he got the short end of the stick. It's not like he wanted to hurt anyone.

      The ending seemed to come sudden. Kinda-of wished it was at least a couple paragraphs longer. What did Celestia do when she found out? What happened to Spike?

      ReplyDelete
    9. The MechanicJuly 3, 2011 at 5:10 PM

      @RoflLuxRay

      It's not that Celly was taking a bath, but rather that she was belching her way across the castle heading to the medicine chest looking for a remedy. She'd have figured it out pretty quickly after. ;)

      ReplyDelete
    10. The MechanicJuly 3, 2011 at 5:10 PM

      @Hasido

      She'd not been doing it long enough to figure out what had really happened... but once she did, then absolutely, she'd have done the whole Trollestia bit. ;)

      ReplyDelete
    11. AnonymousJuly 3, 2011 at 5:12 PM

      Trollestia likely sent spike a basket of gems with a letter stating if he did that again she would send him to the moon.

      ReplyDelete
    12. AnonymousJuly 3, 2011 at 5:20 PM

      I am screaming with laughter here.

      ReplyDelete
    13. AnonymousJuly 3, 2011 at 5:50 PM

      BAHAHAH that was hilarious XD I hope for more to come.

      ReplyDelete
    14. Colt45wsJuly 3, 2011 at 6:25 PM

      Hilarious! Needs to be finished!

      ReplyDelete
    15. GnollbardJuly 3, 2011 at 6:41 PM

      If I weren't sitting by my old man, I'd be giggling like a little girl. This was excellent, and I can only imagine Celestia's response. It's also kinda fun to think of Celestia just running through the castle, giggling, as she burps little things to Twilight.

      Gotta say thanks for this one!

      ReplyDelete
    16. AnonymousJuly 3, 2011 at 6:55 PM

      11/10
      I lol'd hard.

      This needs to be continued!

      ReplyDelete
    17. lesserpoetJuly 3, 2011 at 6:55 PM

      This is astoundingly funny! I had to wait ten minutes to tell you, because I was rolling on the floor trying to finish the story! Genius!!!!!! It's a scream!

      ReplyDelete
    18. ThesynJuly 3, 2011 at 7:12 PM

      5 stars easily! it did end rather abruptly tho

      ReplyDelete
    19. AnonymousJuly 3, 2011 at 7:30 PM

      Ending, pritty pweese?

      ReplyDelete
    20. Present PerfectJuly 3, 2011 at 7:41 PM

      Man, who dares troll the great and powerful Trollestia? This was pretty funny.

      ReplyDelete
    21. La BarataJuly 3, 2011 at 9:35 PM

      Flawless Victory.

      ReplyDelete
    22. AndrewJuly 3, 2011 at 11:02 PM

      Wonderfully fun!

      ReplyDelete
    23. KooldudeJuly 3, 2011 at 11:23 PM

      I never read fan-fics, but I read this one. I really liked it and want to do an "ending" to it, if you like

      ReplyDelete
    24. SkayJuly 4, 2011 at 12:05 AM

      Looking at this from a writer's perspective, trying to top the comedy of the fic up to this point would be difficult.

      Still, it felt like the moral was more about treating your friends better. For that reason, this story should probably have an ending...

      I haven't laughed at a fic so hard in awhile, but it actually left me sad to see you don't intend to finish it.

      ReplyDelete
    25. AnonymousJuly 4, 2011 at 12:33 AM

      is it wrong that I now wanna see art based on this fic? The idea of Celestia repeatedly letting loose a decidedly-unladylike belch of green fire on random objects, that then land on poor Twilight's head is funny as hell.

      ReplyDelete
    26. AnonymousJuly 4, 2011 at 12:40 AM

      Spike
      You win at pranking. Forever.

      Enjoy your victory, cause you're not going to have much time to live.

      ReplyDelete
    27. BareeJuly 4, 2011 at 8:43 AM

      This could have been epic. But the "How do YOU think it should end" angle doesn't work for me :P Sure, I can come up with ideas, but it would have been nice to see your take. Ah well. What was there was great, and I can totally picture Rainbow and Pinkie totally loosing it there.

      ReplyDelete
    28. The Letter JJuly 4, 2011 at 12:00 PM

      I like the idea, and the story so far is pretty good, but it needs an ending.
      Sometimes you can leave some things out of an ending for the reader to imagine for themselves, but it doesn't really work here. Here, it seems like the author just couldn't come up with an idea.

      ReplyDelete
    29. The MechanicJuly 4, 2011 at 2:35 PM

      @The Letter J

      Had plenty of ideas, some of which folks had already thought of.

      Sorry it didn't work for you, though!
      Perhaps next time.

      ReplyDelete
    30. The MechanicJuly 4, 2011 at 2:38 PM

      @ The Letter J

      Besides, I wanted to try something different.
      As it didn't work.. well, lesson learned, yes? How else are we to improve?

      ReplyDelete
    31. AnonymousJuly 4, 2011 at 11:40 PM

      @The Mechanic Would you want people to send you there own versions of an ending?

      ReplyDelete
    32. AnonymousJuly 20, 2011 at 1:08 AM

      I just feel let down. I thought I was reading this great exposition that would get me to a hilarious misadventure. Then I see a page break and an apology. I can't even say the ending was abrupt; It just doesn't feel like it had an ending.

      ReplyDelete
    33. RoxorJuly 24, 2011 at 5:58 AM

      Definitely a funny little story.

      I know some posters seem to think it seems unfinished, but I think the ending as-is works just fine. This would work perfectly as a web-based animated short. Cue an iris-out on Spike's last line.

      ReplyDelete
    34. AnonymousJuly 29, 2011 at 4:13 PM

      I loved this story, it made me laugh a lot.
      However, I really, really dislike when a story, especially one I'm really enjoying, doesn't have a proper ending. It just feels like a cop-out.

      ReplyDelete
    35. UnknownAugust 26, 2011 at 10:05 PM

      "One of these days Spike, bang! zoom! Straight to the moon!"

      ReplyDelete
    36. AnonymousSeptember 28, 2011 at 2:01 PM

      I enjoyed that ;D

      ReplyDelete
    37. DionysusOctober 9, 2011 at 7:16 PM

      Great, it's rare a fanfiction really makes me laugh, but this is so genius it should be used for an episode in season 2 !

      ReplyDelete
    38. ponyvilleftwOctober 18, 2011 at 9:03 PM

      i agree with Dionusus also... MOAR this needs a sequel or a final bit at least

      ReplyDelete
    39. kesssandrraNovember 17, 2011 at 8:00 AM

      Nicely done! Now this is a concept that could be used in the story.

      ReplyDelete

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