• Story: Origins: Rainbow Dash

    [Normal][Sad]


    Author: The Owl
    Description: We all know who Rainbow Dash as a top athlete, but what made her that way? A tale of loss and self-discovery.
    Origins: Rainbow Dash

    Additional Tags: Short, family, battle, action, death

    22 comments:

    1. FIRST...

      my life is now forfeit

      ReplyDelete
    2. Dave Mustang, the cynical BronyJuly 16, 2011 at 2:14 AM

      For a second I read this as "A tale of Fear and Loathing". I thought I was finally about to get my Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas crossover fic. :(

      ReplyDelete
    3. definately has potential but i think its a wii bit underdeveloped...

      ReplyDelete
    4. Nothing amazing, but decent. I'd really like to see this get reworked to be more descriptive and better paced. As it was, I couldn't really get as emotionally invested as I should have been.

      Solid entry, though.

      ReplyDelete
    5. Brought a tear to my eye, good sir. I can't really find anything wrong with the story; you did an excellent job.

      ReplyDelete
    6. @Dave Mustang, the cynical Brony

      That could be amazing, but I don't think I'm crazy enough to write it.

      Great image of Pinkie in a bucket hat and aviators floating around somewhere, though.

      ReplyDelete
    7. Dave Mustang, the cynical BronyJuly 16, 2011 at 2:18 AM

      @Tamar
      I have better things to do, like going to San Fernando and joining a Psychedelic Band.

      ReplyDelete
    8. Dave Mustang, the cynical BronyJuly 16, 2011 at 2:19 AM

      @Whiteout
      If the guys who writes it with Pinkie, they're going to have to explain how somebody kicked their boy-parts through the internet.

      ReplyDelete
    9. @Whiteout

      what image of pinkie? THAT i gotta see.

      ReplyDelete
    10. My Favorite Rainbow Dash picture!!

      I can't wait to read this story, but their is a Que list before it I have to plow through LOL

      ReplyDelete
    11. The story moved along too fast. It really could have used more expansion, especially in the first two chapters. As it was, the story was basically dragged through the events that took place rather than flowing smoothly from one to another.

      It got a bit better in Chapter 4 and the Epilogue, but it was still moving a bit too quickly.

      ReplyDelete
    12. @Tamar
      We can't stop here! This is Pony Country!

      ReplyDelete
    13. why does everything have to be so sad!??!?!?! :C

      ReplyDelete
    14. Thank you so much for your feedback, everybody! I've noticed that a lot of you are saying that it's very fast, and that's because I am (to be frank) *not very good* at describing actions. You'll probably notice that in almost all of the story, the character being followed (At first Blue Bolt and then Rainbow Dash) are on their own a lot... I wanted to try and tell a story which didn't rely on conversations to succeed. Turns out it's harder than I thought, ha, which is why they're talking to themselves a lot. I might re-visit the plot once I'm better at writing, I quite like it.

      ReplyDelete
    15. That was beautiful. I'll admit it, I cried.

      ReplyDelete
    16. So this looks interesting, but i'm torn on if I should read it or not. Sad rainbow dash makes Revan sad.

      ReplyDelete