• Story: On Feathered Wings (Update Part 5!)

    [Grimdark][Shipping][Sad]

    Author: Ashkore
    Description: Losing the defining thing that makes you who you are would be hard for anypony. Where do you go from there? How do you cope? How do your friends? How hard is it to start from scratch? Rainbow Dash never had to worry about these things. Not until the worst storm in Equestrian history. Now she has to cling to that which she still has, and discover for herself that there is much more out there to live for than she originally believed.
    Google Documents
    On Feathered Wings Part 1
    On Feathered Wings Part 2
    On Feathered Wings Part 3
    On Feathered Wings Part 4
    On Feathered Wings Part 5 (New!)

    Fanfiction.net (All Links)
    On Feathered Wings

    Additional Tags: Long, Bonding, Love, Tragic, Friendship

    116 comments:

    1. This is going to involve Dash getting mutilated again, isn't it? Oh well, into the breach...

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    2. Sir Peppermint JamJuly 12, 2011 at 11:06 PM

      Oh dear, I'm not sure I wanna read this...
      But I think I will. Here goes nothing.

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    3. Dave Mustang, the cynical BronyJuly 12, 2011 at 11:07 PM

      MLP Fanfiction cliche #12, having Dash lose the ability to fly.

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    4. " being Fluttershy of all people"

      These fics need moar proofreading. I always manage to find at least one misstep like this in each of them.

      That aside, I am enjoying it so far. Very engaging writing style.

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    5. Welp, I'm intrigued.

      Onto my reading list this goes.

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    6. @Anonymous

      We try to let the author know about most of the grammatical issues, but everyone I add to the pre-reader group as actual "Editors" burns out after a day and a half :p

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    7. Wow long. Really enjoying it so far though.. Love sad rainbow fics :D

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    8. @Sethisto

      Hate to post here again, but I keep finding more. :s

      "...worked cut out for her..."

      "...I must of overshot it.'"

      There has to be an easier way to help the authors out with proofreading other than posting in the comments or hoping that they just happen to be viewing the document at the time. :l

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    9. @Anonymous

      Author here.

      Sorry for the grammar mistakes and occasional slip from pony dialect you seem to be catching. I'll try and go back through the chapters I have and fix those, and watch out for them better in the upcoming chapters. I've honestly not done a whole lot of proofreading, which is kind of lazy of me.

      Some are admittedly little mistakes, but I'll try to weed those out better in the future!

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    10. @Dave Mustang, the cynical Brony
      Really far from being the most interesting and/or desirable cliche, if you ask me... which you don't.

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    11. Haven't read any grimdark Fics since cupcakes...
      Well as a wise man once said GERONIMO!!!

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    12. Sir Peppermint JamJuly 13, 2011 at 12:23 AM

      The story isn't complete, and yet....
      This story is by far one of the best I have yet to finish. The author obviously took a 'what-if' situation and ran with it at a super sonic speed, a speed in which Rainbow herself would be proud of. Emotionally moving, and completely believable. I wish I was better at describing how awesomely written this story is. Anywho, I'm now curious as to how this is gonna end. I'm hoping for multiple endings, as I like those stories where everything turns out okay, but that's the just the optimist in me speaking. I know how this is gonna end.

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    13. Oh crap you used pony-spiz picture :D I knew it was awesome!

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    14. totally hooked, can't wait for the next chapter!

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    15. You'd think that the summary would have ruined the story, but even if we know what's gonna happen it's still an enjoyable ride.

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    16. I'm kinda glad somebody finally used the Rainboom's cloud clearing ability in a fic. And to as good effect dramatically as it is done? That was simply a gorgeous piece of writing. I'm glad that the ship doesn't dominate the story. Rather it supports and deepens the main drama.

      I wait with baited breath for the continuation. I'm curious to see how far you're willing to run with this concept.

      Easy 5.

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    17. @Sethisto

      Would a rotating cycle of editors work? You'd need a larger group to avoid inundating each day's editor/editor group, but it might reduce burnout if people had a few days to recuperate between edits. Also, if the grammar/spelling is bad enough to be a ton of work (and thus likely a detriment to the story itself), you could send it back to the author like you do with stories the pre-readers didn't find enjoyable. Maybe make the editors a different group than the pre-readers, further reducing burnout (editors won't have to look for awesomeness of story and grammar errors); perhaps only have stories that have been approved by pre-readers go in for editing, since none of the blog's readers will see the grammar errors if the story doesn't end up actually going up, anyways. The main issue would be an increased delay in the time between submission of a story and the actual posting of it on the blog (though if you continue to get a large enough buffer of work and keep to the one-story-per-hour philosophy, this might not be an issue). Oh, and probably lots more work for you; all this additional structuring would be a real slog to get in place, I imagine...

      Just some idle thoughts; obviously I don't know much the inner workings of the blog, and you've definitely already got a fantastic handle on administrating all these confounded ponies - the grammar thing is really a non-issue most of the time, but it was kinda fun to think about. :)

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    18. (Same grammar-lovin' anon from before :3)

      Great job on this, Ashkore. Very engaging and detailed writing style and a very interesting story. I really don't think it ever crosses the GRIMDARK 'Line' and becomes too dark, but you still manage to maintain a sense of peril throughout.

      And since I'm a rabid AppleDash fan(atic) I'm very pleased to see this ship done justice in a fanfic. It's been done many times before but this is the first time I've seen it done well, and that is including my own unfinished AppleDash fic. Your writing has made me more critical of my own, that's a sure sign that it's good. ;D

      Keep it up man! (And get yourself a proofreader!)

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    19. Listen to this as you read chapter 2

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPC8W672mXc

      It makes it so fucking awesome

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    20. @Anonymous

      Thanks for all the compliments!

      Honestly, I probably jumped the gun on the Grimdark tag. I don't really intend on the story ever becoming SUPER depressing or anything. Should see about getting that taken off!

      I'll also look into getting a proof reader, or at least reread all my chapters for any simple mistakes.

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    21. It's a small thing, only a few lines, but why is Celestia going to Ponyville for the Summer Sun Celebration two years in a row? Other than that, the story is, well, the emotion it stirs isn't exactly what I'd call happiness (which was quite a shock; after all, with the [Grimdark] and [Sad] tags I was expecting a rollicking comedy), but I'm enjoying reading it.

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    22. Excellence, right here.

      I like how they actually said "Wings fine"

      I was thinking as I read this, "Rainbow Loss fic? Applejack Loss Fic? Rainbow, Applejack, Rainbow...

      And then I got that it's both. Good show, my compliments to the chef, could I have sum moar?

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    23. Uh... are the more chapters to come? Cause... I can't accept it ending like that.

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    24. Well I'll be damned.......

      Your story has every MLP fanfic Cliche in there is and yet it is still "a really good read"

      I mean look at all of the cliches on display. By all rational this should be another boring "SAD" fic but its not despite all the evidence against it.

      Rainbow dash looses her wings , Check

      Ponyville hit by freak weather event, Check

      Granny Smith dead, Check

      Useless Big Mac, Check

      AppleDash, BIG CHECK

      Love Confession, Check

      Flashback, check

      This story should be boring and trite but somehow you have managed to inject flavor into a dish that has since grown bland to my pallet. You have a real talent for taking cliches and reworking them in new ways.


      I Thank you for this story
      keep up the good work

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    25. Very good. Great, even. In places, it seems positively cinematic. And I mean that as a compliment! Orchestral scores from movies I've seen kept coming into my head as I envisioned the scenes. I'll definitely be following this one.

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    26. Dear author, I hate you I hate you I hat you I hate you. Y u write so good? I still can't believe I shed a tear, I mean that lterally too. As your Punishemnt I'm banishing you to the moon so you can learn to not write like a god... Also finish this story while your up there Please ^^

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    27. Solidly in character, fun action that keeps you caring about what happens next. 5/5 Sir.

      Added to my watch list for updates.

      As others have pointed out this has a lot of the common MLP cliches present but the author managed to present them in new ways.

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    28. I fliched really hard when I saw "could" and "of" next to each other.

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    29. ...

      I love this. And GODDAMMIT APPLEJACK!

      5/5.

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    30. Penultimate Anon here.
      I'm actually quite curious about what can you make out of this, and I see you've improved (grammar and whatnot) by the latter parts.

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    31. I love it so far and I must say the way you presented the flashback where Rainbow turns down Applejack has to be to most touching rejections (sorry can't think of a better word) I have read to date.

      I need to find out what happens. Not just Rainbows health, but how Applejack will deal with the loss of her home, livelihood, and her life.

      I imagine Rainbow and Applejack will become closer as they support each other's attempt to deal with their challenges. Though I expect quite of bit of lashing out from both of them. It would be natural.

      I hope to see more soon, and thanks for sharing what you have so far! :D

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    32. I liked how Dash just kept going and going. Always getting up and back into action, like a Terminator or something. Until the final blow. And even then...

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    33. Besides the issue everyone else is having (the sheer number of "ofs" where there should be "haves"), this is superb so far. Clever writing with a comfortable, appropriate pacing that fills in the gaps and makes the entire thing believable, emotional writing, and clear, competent characterisation. Everything that should be looked for in a ponyfic.
      Hope you carry on updating quickly, though yeah, definitely need someone to go over those errors for you. Otherwise, fantastic job!

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    34. I love this story so much that I would LOVE to be a proofreader for it. Not sure how to get in touch with the author, though...if you're reading this, drop some contact information and I'd be glad to help out any way I can. :D

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    35. Pretty good story, looking forward to more. I'm curious as to where the tornadoes even came from.

      But dear God, Apple Bloom's accent! You couldn't cut through that thing with a machete!

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    36. Read the whole thing in one sitting and quite frankly this is going to be one of my favorites
      This is the only thing in a long time that has made me cry the last thing being the toy story 3 ending but this is the first thing in text form to successfully make me cry this is a brilliant piece of work and I hope that you continue to write In the future you clearly have a talent for it I early await chapter 5

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    37. This was tremendously evocative, and I'm glad I read it. I'll look forward to seeing more.

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    38. Nice story. However... the constant, random SENTENCE FRAGMENTS everywhere are really distracting. It would definitely have benefited from a session with a beta reader.

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    39. Scattered and minor mistakes throughout the chapters (oddly getting more noticeable progressing through) overlooked and completely aside (you have editor?) -

      My god. This piece is ... absolutely spectacular. You weave emotional impression with stunning skill, the direness of the moment adding as much visceral impression as the descriptive prose, if not more so. I need six stars to give them all to this fic. As a writer of "oh shit no Dash!" myself, I'm more than a touch envious of what you've crafted here! Good on ya!

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    40. @Delta Pangaea

      My mind was working the exact same way, constantly second guessing itself as the story progressed (especially during Chapter 3). It wasn't until the scene in Twilight's hospital room that it dawned on me.







      This has turned out much better than I expected it to be.
      Those tags and that description had me basically scaring myself into thinking this was going to be a typical "and then the most terrible shit ever happened to Dash" story (to the extent that I was practically sweating bullets when Chapter 1 ended and nothing had even happened yet), and the tale you've woven is so much more than that.



      That being said, there are times (most of them in the earlier chapters, but not all of them) where there are grammatical issues become so frequent that they become a distraction.

      It doesn't hurt the story enough to keep me from 5/5-ing what you have so far, but an editor would really help push this up to the 6-star that I feel the content you've written so far deserves.

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    41. one word..
      MOOOOOOOOOOOOREEEE!

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    42. Please learn how to use "it's" and "its" correctly. The only time ever to use "it's" is when you're shortening "it is." There were paragraphs where "it's" was used six times, and it was seriously distracting me from the wonderful story you're weaving here. I can deal with improper "anymore" and "any more" occasionally, but I don't think "its" was used a single time in the story. It was pulling me out of the world you were creating here, and that's the worst thing that can happen to me when I'm becoming this enraptured by the story.

      Remember: If the sentence makes sense by substituting it's for "it is," then use the apostrophe. If it doesn't, use "its."

      Even with that complaint (and boy do I hate to be "that kind of guy,") I still gave this five stars. I'm also not expecting a happy ending, which is fine. Dash is my favorite pony (even though I love them all), but if having her hurt or crippled is going to further the narrative you're creating, then by all means, I defer to your judgement. I don't think I've cried this much from both joy and sorrow yet while reading a Pony story. I even re-watched Dash's Sonic Rainboom from the episode just to remind myself of what they're like: the tension, the music, the sound effects, the thrill of Rainbow's victory, and dammit if I didn't have tears streaming down my cheeks. (32-year old male here)

      This has the potential to be seriously 20% better than 5 stars. It just needs some proofreading and minor adjustments.

      And as much as I love Dash: Dammit, if you think your story will be more powerful without her ever flying properly or using her hind legs again, and Dash having to struggle to accept that, do it. If I want a happy Dash story, I'll read just about everything but Cupcakes. If I want a GOOD Dash story, I'll keep checking for chapter 5. And 6. And 7. And so on.

      You've got a hell of a wonderful thing going here. It's almost 12:30 on a worknight, and I still want to read more. All it needs is some technical cleanup and you will have forged an absolute gem of a story to share. Don't let something as simple as grammar mistakes hold you back from a masterpiece.

      Please, keep writing. You very obviously enjoy what you're doing here.

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    43. Ditto^

      Very VERY good story.

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    44. 5 out of 5 tears were shed, Bravo

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    45. **Spoilers up to Chapter 4**

      You've got the gift. The talent for writing is clearly in you. Your only weakness is in the mechanics. The spelling, the grammar, the punctuation.

      I started this story at about midnight, and I've been going at it ever since. It's now... three in the morning. As I sit here typing this, I can hear my pillow calling to me... singing to me... But damn it, this fic left an impression, and I'm not gonna go before I've left you a review.

      Joe England found the perfect word to describe this story: cinematic. Ever scene flows easily from the page to the canvas of the imagination. The pacing is perfect, and the drama is so fine-tuned, I was on the edge of my seat for hours. I think the synopsis had a good bit to do with that, because as Dash fought back tornado after tornado, I wasn't asking myself "What the heck is going to happen," I was asking myself "When the heck is IT going to happen." Normally I would be averse to hinting at a climactic event like that in the story description, but here it works amazingly well.

      And as it went on... and on... and on... I started to doubt the story was going to go the way I initially assumed it would. Here's Rainbow Dash, perfectly healthy after three chapters, and Applejack's farm has been in ruins since like forever ago. Maybe the *farm* is the defining thing that a character loses, and the reference to Rainbow Dash was just a red herring. Oh, wait, now there's another seven tornadoes on the horizon, and she's about to do the sonic rainboom, this must be the moment!—wait, that wasn't it *either*? What the hay. So is it Applejack? Or Rainbow Dash? Or Applejack? Or Rainbow Dash?

      What an effective way to create suspense, despite you having flat-out told the reader what was going to happen before they even clicked on the link to the first chapter. I don't know if you intended it or not, but drawing it out for so painfully long and constantly dangling the possibility of Rainbow Dash emerging safe and sound was INGENIUS. For that alone the story gets five stars from me. The spot-on characterization and emotional investment take it to a whole 'nother level. Bravo.

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    46. This story has to be one of my favorites from this site. (It even has Appledash, my favorite ship!) It was suspenseful, full of emotion, in character, and best of all...it kept me wanting more. Very few fanfics make me feel that way. The comment above me sums up everything I was thinking, maybe the loss was something other then Dash getting hurt? Was it the destruction of Sweet Apple Acres? It kept me on the edge of my seat.

      Just please, post a new chapter soon or I might die from waiting!

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    47. ^ Yea. I need a new chapter fix stat XD -has an addiction-

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    48. Damn. Way to blow my fic outta the water.
      ALL MY STARS.

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    49. Finish this please? D:

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    50. Celestia damn it all! i hate shipping

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    51. Grimdark, shipping and sad, my 3 favorite tags in one fic? Yay.

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    52. The flashback Applejack has where she reveals her feelings towards Rainbow Dash... you are the only author of a story/book/text that has been able to make me feel the actual emotions the characters in the text are feeling. For that, you should be proud. Not an easy thing to make somepony like me shed tears from something that didn't happen. (again, this story is the first that could) Definite 5 stars.

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    53. I liked the new chapter (5). However, I felt as though some of the transitions were sort of abrupt, especially the one where Twilight was walking in the halls of the hospital to Rainbow's room. It just felt (to me) a little disconnected from the surrounding paragraphs.

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    54. Not to sound rude, but, uh, commas exist. And they're quite useful, for, you know, getting rid of sentence fragments.

      But lots of people have mentioned that.

      This story. This story, so much. It's... It's one of the few stories that I love so much that I can completely ignore any grammatical error. And that's saying something. I'm kind of a grammar Nazi.

      Also, I've been reading a bit too much Whooves fanfic. I've convinced myself that the culprit is really the Master, and the Doctor is the only one capable of saving the day. And that the unknown pegasus with Derpy is one regeneration of the Doctor.

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    55. I found myself wanting TwiDash shipping in chapter 5, How silly of me. Never was a fan of Appledash. Great story though. 6/5

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    56. Only thing I didn't like was Twilight's usage of the word "Ditto." (never heard her say that, but I can't say its Ooc either)

      6-Star Fic? Lets make it seven...

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    57. Tarkinor the Rainbow ExplorerJuly 17, 2011 at 6:07 AM

      -injects himself with new chapter- There we go... finally got my chapter fix...

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    58. I think the chance of the hinted political intrigue plot being woven into this already fantastic story may be enough to push it into 6 stars even with the grammar problems, so long as it can be done properly.

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    59. Whoa.
      I can agree with those above - there's a gift of narrative being unraveled right before my eyes. And I find myself craving for every single moment of it.
      The cast is so perfectly in-character, the story is immensely compelling right from Chap 2, and I swear, part of me still refused to think RD would have it the hinted way until its very confirmation. That's how good this fic is.

      And the story being cinematic - I totally agree. I do usually see the scenes as I read, but it's such a pleasure to have them laid out in front of me so smoothly and effortlessly.

      This is truly a magnificent work of art. 6/5 stars. Please continue.

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    60. I'm eating up every single word in this...
      I'M HUNGRY FOR MORE!!!

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    61. Please forgive me for this obvious comment, but man, this thing is LONG. Not that being long is a bad thing--I tend to turn all my work into wordy, sweeping tomes as chock full of detail and narrative as this fic--but it is a TON to digest every chapter. I felt like I needed to take a break as soon as each chapter ended, both because there's so much material to bludgeon my way through and because I need to absorb all that material before I can move on.

      Like others have said, you've taken a ton of cliches from MLP fanfiction (giant storms destroying Ponyville, RD getting badly hurt, using Twilight's magic as an all powerful deus ex machina, etc.) and woven them together into a magnificent, orchestral narrative. Although these cliches tend to make the story more predictable and slightly less gripping, the layers of unpredictability that you included (RD taking out the first tornado, and then proceeding to Rainboom the fight out of the next seven) grabbed me by the throat and really caught my attention.

      A constructive criticism I would make is to work a bit on your pacing. I'm not sure how long you're planning on making this, exactly--at the rate you're going, it's looking like a full-length, 200+ page novel--but even with all that space, the plot feels like its dragging. Based on the description, I'm reading it like the whole piece is going to be about Rainbow's struggle to find a place for herself after losing her ability to fly. As of chapter 4, she has only JUST been injured. I feel like what was told in four chapters could have been condensed into two long, beefy, detailed chapters. Yes, that would be a lot of work for both the author and the audience to plow through, but with some editing and shortening of some scenes (much of the exposition featured in the beginning of chapter 1 with Rainbow, for instance, could have been tacked on much later in the story--comparing her feelings as a healthy mare to her feelings as an injured one would have made great contrast, and it wouldn't have to be several chapters apart), it would create a quicker pace on the way to the central plot element. As I read the first four chapters, I felt as if the storm was dragged out for too long, and was padded to simply make the chapters longer. I hope you know what I mean.

      I will now brace myself for chapter 5, and the rest of this no doubt epic tale. I'm looking forward to more installments.

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    62. I'm currently into part 5, and as much as I enjoy this story, please stop using "could of". It gets on my (and probably others') nerves and ultimately destroys any atmosphere that was created.

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    63. @Anonymous

      I'm assuming you're reading it on the FF.net site. It's more of a pain to go back and rework all the FF.net entries (as I'm kind of focusing more on Google Docs now), but all those particular errors were fixed on the Google Docs pages.

      That sort of mistake is being watched for in the newer chapters.

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    64. Lets see shipping * grimdark....two of my favorite tags in one fanfic...Am i dreaming :D?

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    65. Everytime I browse the archives to check on fics I commented on I encounter this one... And I want to read it. I can't explain it, but something tells me I might enjoy it. But... that confounded Grimdark tag... Euch.

      Will I cave? Maybe. Eventually.

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    66. Solaris90 here.

      Well, it finally happened. I never thought this day would come, but it has. Ashkore, you have done the impossible and written a fic I think is better than Buttersc0tchSundae's "The Party Hasn't Ended". The characterizations, the cinematic presentation of the events, the raw sense of emotion and dread practically pouring off the page. It is all, simply, incredible. The idea of presenting tornadoes as monstrous things of myth is genius. I just can't give enough praise to this thing.

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    67. What an interesting story. At first, I was totally put off by the fact that Dash losing her ability to fly is very cliche.

      But upon reading, I honestly took to it right off the bat.

      The emotion between characters seems genuine and provoking. I honestly felt pulled by Dash's third attempt at trussing that tornado. Pride and stubbornness works really well for her.

      Some of the grammar is a bit jarring, but easily overlooked because the extent of the story is really well written.

      I eagerly await chapter six.

      Cheers mate.

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    68. Supporting homosexuality: Hasbro, you're doing it right.

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    69. Wow, other then Applejack having the hots for Rainbow Dash this is the best fan fiction story I have ever read. And that is not limited to MLP Stories but everything. Very very impressive.

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    70. Very GRIMDARK!!!!

      But I am very interested in reading this, so much emotion I myself even shed manly tears of manliness.

      I will not lie to you though, quite a lot of grammar/spelling errors :/. But, still deserves a 5!

      Keep them coming!!!

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    71. WHERE IS THE NEXT UPDATE?????

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    72. WHERE IS THE NEXT UPDATE?????

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    73. Can't wait on moar :/

      Thus far I'm enthralled, I enjoy what I've read (currently part 5) and can't wait for you to post more :P

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    74. It was the best fanfic i have ever read. i was teary eye nearly through the whole thing. i wouldn't be able to do any better because i suck at punctuation. but this was an easy 5 stars if i could id keep giving it stars til my fingers bleed. well done cant wait for it to be finished.

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    75. Amazing.

      When's part 6 coming out?

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    76. I'm gonna go cry from the lack of updates ;_;

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    77. I find the lack of updates disturbing.

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    78. I think this fic is well crafted and brilliant in my opinion. I was hooked right away just from seeing the description on FF.net and it made it's way here now which is very good. I think you've been spot on with the characters and the development of it all so far. Keep up the great work and ive been patiently waiting for chapter 6 it's been a while, but it's all worth the wait.

      For anyone who's bored while waiting for the next update check out on FF.net the MLP fics titled "Forever Lost" and "Appleblooms family" there also very good and worth checking out.

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    79. This is one of my favorite fics on the site, and the lack of updates as of late greatly disturb me. I really hope Ashkore is still around, and hasn't given up or so just yet.

      It's certainly a great fic, despite its grammatical problems here and there, and it'd be a shame if this is left incomplete.

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    80. Please keep working one this fic Ashkore! This is one of my favorites. I've come back a lot to reread parts of it from time to time.

      I didn't know that the [Sad] tag applied to waiting for updates on this fic.
      Keep up the amazing work!

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    81. I don't think I really want to read another grimdark dash story....oh well. It's only my sanity.

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    82. Oh my god chapter 3&4 made me so sad

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    83. @Anonymous
      rainbow dash almost dead.BIG CHECK
      usless apple family.check
      appledash shipping.check
      screaming applejack.check
      twlight using to much magic.BIG CHECK
      what a good story!!DUDE

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    84. @AnonymousI am tired of the gap between chap5-chap6

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    85. I was supposed to be sleeping, but then I started reading your story. Tomorrow will be difficult, but it was worth it.

      The characterizations were spot on, brilliant, and insightful. The intrigue was successfully intriguiing and I want to know more. I want to know what happens to Dash's wings, to Applejack's farm and her feelings for Dash.

      I am incredibly frustrated that this seems to have stopped updating. Please don't vanish into the aether after giving us the start to this epic.

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    86. ... Magical Trevor is doing his best to be patient... However, he would GREATLY appreciate a comment from the Author as to if/when we might be treated to an update. Thank you.

      ~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

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    87. Will this be updated? I really don't want to be left hanging...

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    88. This is a great fanfic. Shame to see it on such a hiatus, but if the author needs a break, then ah well.

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    89. Please tell me your going to continue this story. It has been an amazing read, and we must know what's going to happen to Dashie!!

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    90. Brilliant story. I almost didn't read it, but I'm glad I did. All in all so far haven't noticed to much actual shipping-but this story needs to continue.

      -Also, Chapter 5: In several areas-"Thrown" should be "Throne", and I noticed some other minor spelling mishaps that I forget now that I'm typing this. But anyways...keep writing. And update us on this if you get the chance!

      Your faithful reader,
      fleaboy498

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    91. This is an amazing fic. Hope to see more parts soon.

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    92. Ouch, perhaps I should have checked the comments before reading this. Over 3 (4?) months without an update. Abandoned...?

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    93. I prefer this story be abandoned than something bad happening to the author. Hope Ashkore's fine.

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    94. Me too jorge. I don't mind waiting if he needs a break but i just hope he isn't sick or worse or something :(

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    95. Still no word from Ashkore? That's certainly a little unsettling. Hopefully he/she is alright, or has his/her own reasons for not continuing with this fic.

      While it saddens me, it seems we will have to do with never figuring out what's going to happen in the end. :(

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    96. Last comment here was in NOVEMBER? I guess it will be a while...

      Its really a shame though, this story is awesome on so many levels, it totally changed my opinion on what a fanfic could do.

      I hope this hasn't been permanently abandoned, its really way to special to be left like this!

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    97. As I said earlier, I prefer this story be abandoned than something bad happening to the author. I wouldn't be saying this if it wasn't that Ashkore seems to have banished from the internet and he hasn't at least apologized from not updating the fic. I mean, yes, I may be overreacting, but after a while, I'm now worried a bit.

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    98. @jorge

      FYI, according to his account on FiMfiction, he was last online 2 hours ago, so he appears to still be alive and (hopefully) well. As for the story, I have no idea, but i would love to see it continue. Definitely my favorite one of these "Dash injures/loses her wings" fics

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    99. why im i getting linked to this when i tryto find twidash stories....grimdark, sad gahaarrr i dont want to read for thoughs reasons

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    100. why im i getting linked to this when i tryto find twidash stories....grimdark, sad gahaarrr i dont want to read for thoughs reasons

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    101. why im i getting linked to this when i tryto find twidash stories....grimdark, sad gahaarrr i dont want to read for thoughs reasons

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    102. @Catroi
      ugh, youre telling me, Ive been reading other fan fics in the meantime, and im gonna have to re read the chapters when it comes out..... CONFOUND THESE PONIES, THEY DRIVE ME TO READ

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    103. This really is a wonderfully written story, i wish it hadnt been abandoned.

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    104. where bluebirds fly...
      (maybe the magic of song will write this story!!)

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    105. I just read this one for the first time, really sad that it seems to be discontinued.

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    106. Yeah, I guess I've resigned that this story is abandoned; Ashkore deleted his google docs of the story.

      I saved a copy on my computer from his fanfiction link just in case that one gets swiped too. It's amazing; I think this is still my favorite story.

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    107. @Ryan - I know that feeling. That moment at the end of the first chapter when we find out what's coming, followed by Dash's grief for the Apple family, a final blaze of glory. Applejack's shattered heart, Twilight's over-glow. The flashback to Applejack's confession, Dash's response, and the baggage Applejack carries now that she's lost her forever. And the tears of joy our release in next morning.

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