[Sad][Grimdark] Oc ponies! Have something random until someone draws them!
Author: FrogFish
Description: After their journey to Ponyville, Baysle Spice an Grape Vine settle into their new home near the Everfree forest. Strange occurances in the night have propelled Grape Vine into a deep sadness. The morning after, Grape gallops into the Everfree forest to clear her mind, but she later realizes the consequences of her actions.Neverfree
Additional Tags: OC Everfree
8 comments:
First again!
ReplyDeletetwice in a row :)
ReplyDeleteCan't really give a verdict until a few chapters have passed... Though most of the dialouge seems forced, and an obvious clash between characters was passed up. The ruby was smashed in a house with no pets, and the actual necklace never moved. Shouldn't Grape have accused Baysel of breaking it? It's the only logical conclusion a person/pony could make if there was NO possible way for it to break naturally.
ReplyDeleteThough as I said, I can't really give a verdict until the story continues, I'm gonna hold off on giving it stars until then.
Seems like these sad and grimdark tags are quite popular, to my discontent.
ReplyDeleteGood start, but it left me wanting something else. As it was already pointed out, Grape could or should have blamed Baysel of breaking it, or at lest have become suspicious of foul play. The dialogue feels a tad forced, but it's not that bad. You could have used a bit more description in certain parts, but the story still flows well.
ReplyDeleteThis first chapter gets a 4/5 in my book.
Google docs won't let me read itt!! >:C
ReplyDeleteReally ought to start handing out bans or deleting the comments of those people who do nothing but post 'first'.
ReplyDeleteStory was not my cup of tea.
Hmmm interesting enough. I'm looking forward to whats going to come next :)
ReplyDelete